Death is the Simplest Thing
by finaljoy
Summary: The shinigami have won the war, and it's back to 'normal'. But when the Gotei call Ichigo and his friends in to be tested for hollow contamination, the experiments go awry, they become exactly what 46 feared; hollows. Or better yet, arrancar.
1. Paradise's Prison

_**AN This idea may have been over used, but it definitely is fun to play around with. This story has some major influence from Frozen Shattered Roses' **_**After the Fairy Tale Ends.**_** So the POV for this story is mostly from Ichigo, and there will of course be angst, potential horror, and the fact that will probably be the law of this story**_**; If anything _can_ go wrong, it _will._**

Uhm, this is a little new to me. I'm currently being held prisoner, and figured that I might as well record all of this junk that happened to me. It's not like I have anything else to do, so why not. The others are doing the same and we-

Oh. I guess you don't know who _'we'_ are. Give me a moment and I'll tell you.

So the date is... well, the date doesn't really matter here. Either way, I've been held here for over a month now.

Things started out simple; I had a life, family, friends and just a couple of the everyday freak powers. I fight -_fought_- hollows, saved friends, battled ever strengthening enemies. After Hueco Mundo and defeating Ulquiorra, I used Mayuri's garganta to go to Fake Karakura. Aizen basically toyed with me, adding insult to major injury, but I'm still alive, somehow. I even kept with him, at first, all I needed was a finishing blow. I know everyone had their hopes pinned on me, and I even thought I could kill this guy, but...

Yeah, he got away.

Love the suspense, don't ya?

So we went back to a normal life. Aizen was the only bad guy left, Gin and Tousen having died, unless he made _another_ alliance with a bunch of weirdos, but I doubt it. He was on the verge of death, amazingly enough, so I don't think even _he_ could have survived.

Anyways, we returned to life. I made it through my junior year, everyone was happy and relaxed once the threat of Aizen popping back up faded after a year and a half. The shinigami gig faded to the background somewhat, but hey, I coped. But the Gotei decided that this wasn't enough.

About two months before this whole thing really started, Rukia got transferred back to the Soul Society. Her mission had lasted way too long anyways, and I think that she was actually a little happy to get some rest. We all saw her off, a little sad at seeing her leave, but it wasn't like we were never going to see her again.

I don't think any of us, me, Ishida, Chad and Inoue, can forget the sad look on her face as she went back, like she knew something was going to happen if she left. In all actuality, it didn't really matter if she stayed or went.

A bunch of guys from Squad 2 came and nabbed us, from right where we were standing. We were knocked out, and then shoved in some prison-like chamber over in the Soul Society, until it was deemed appropriate that we should come before Central 46, and bam, it all came crashing down. After the just 'Why are we here?'s and 'What's your friggin' _problem_?'s and even a few curses, they told us.

"You four," some old bat told us, "Yatsutora Sado, Inoue Inoue, Ishida Uryuu and Kurosaki Ichigo, defaulted and went to the land of the hollows, Hueco Mundo without any just reason or cause."

Of course we yelled back at the hag, saying that Inoue had been kidnapped and we had to go save her, and hadn't things been forgiven after the help we'd given to the during the Winter War? They overrode us, and continued.

"It is far more than likely that you received some hollow contamination and need to be under constant surveillance and confinement. You, Kurosaki, are the substitute shinigami, and therefore have more responsibility than the others. Normally no charges would be pressed, considering that you have a considerable reiatsu, have shown no signs of malevolence to the Soul Society, and firm loyalties for the shinigami, but being one of the vizards puts you in line of suspect even more then ever." Something inside me, probably the vizard side, twinged a little at her words. So if I was a normal substitute, then they wouldn't care, but since I was a _vizard,_ there was no doubt about it, I had to be taken in.

"Wait," Ishida said slowly, considering things. "You took us because of something that _might_ have occurred, but you're not sure?"

"Yes, that is the reason more than ever that we take you into confinement. You can _not_ risk the safety of humans and souls because of a possibility," someone else on the board said. What were they doing, tag teaming us?

"But that's not -if you're really going to do this, then why not call in the other vizards? Or what about-"

"Abarai Renji-fukutaicho and Kuchiki Rukia? And Hitsugaiya-taicho, and several of the vizards themselves, for good measure. They have been requested for this meeting as well." As if on cue, (probably were, these geezers love making themselves look good) the doors banged open, and in fell Renji and Rukia, with Toshiro stalking in after them. _Wonderful._ Oh ho, but following them, was Shinji and Hiyori. Even better.

They were briefed as well, and I took that time to examine everybody. Best be on top of things, see?

Inoue and Ishida looked worried, maybe even scared. Shinji, Hiyori and Chad looked serious, but Renji, Toshiro and Rukia were the only ones who knew the full weight of things. They were pulling out their scary faces. When we were allowed to leave, Shinji leaned over to me, trying to tell me the news, but one of our _escorts_ stopped him.

We were left off at a pretty nice place, full of gardens, nice traditional houses, but fenced in. I'm suspecting Kuchiki intervention here. But when we all settled in the main room, we asked Shinji and Hiyori what the Soul Society's excuse for us was. Shinji was quiet for a while, before Hiyori burst in.

"Awh, come on! Why don't we freakin' tell the baldies what happened all ready? No point in screwing around."

"Hiyori," he started, looking down, "it's not like we can just-"

"Forget this!" she yelled, jumping up and stalking away.

"Where are you going?" Inoue asked, ever the one to worry about people.

"For a walk!" But as she slammed the door shut, I could have sworn that she was crying. After a moment there was a Hiyori-shaped shadow falling against the door, and I knew that she just wanted to be out of sight.

"Shinji, was it?" Ishida started in, carefully, not wanting to press anyone too much. "Why don't you just tell us? I don't think we'll be able to go back after this one."

"You all... You've been here for a week now, right? Yeah well, Hiyori and I just got here today. When you disappeared, we could tell. All of your reiatsu just vanished. Somehow the Soul Society must have made you guys a double-"

"Central has been working on this for weeks," Renji cut in suddenly, making everyone in the room look at him except for Hitsugaiya, who had taken a cushion to the far side of the room, with his back to the rest of us. "They made specialized konpaku, so that they mimicked your personalities to some degree. I think they had the easiest time with you, Ichigo, because you're so simple -rash, stupid, the typical hero-type. But they weren't enough to convince people who knew you that well, so they got you when you left on summer vacation."

"Wait, how do _you_ now this?" I asked, ignoring the personality jab except to throw a cushion at him.

"Kuchiki-taicho made sure that he had a big part in this mission, so I learned as much as I could before I was called in on suspicion."

"That would explain it then," Shinji sighed, resting his head on a fist. "You all felt like you vanished, though I heard that people had seen you around."

"But... what about the bodies?" Chad voiced the question that we all were thinking, and Shinji looked away. Inoue stiffened, trying to stop him.

"Uh, Chad, you don't really need too..." She trailed off when Shinji spoke, looking like it was hopeless.

"Look, you can't really expect for this-"

"Dangit Shinji, just tell us what they did with our bodies!" I yelled at him, suddenly so angry at everything. Why couldn't they just stop skirting around the truth and tell us?

"Kurosaki-kun, please, isn't it okay to just-"

"No, I want to know now! I'm sick of people not telling me anything important, like I'm not smart enough to understand! So why don't you just tell me-"

"_We don't need to know!_" The scream was so unexpected, that everyone turned. Inoue had her eyes closed from the moment, and it took me a second to realize that she had been the one shouting. I bit my cheek, angry at myself for making her scream like that.

She opened her eyes, sensing the awkward moment, and continued shyly. "I mean... wouldn't they just... store them or something? Just in case they needed them? Or maybe they have them over in a warehouse by Squad 12..."

"No," Hitsugaiya said from his wall, "that's not it at all. You really wanted us to tell you what happened to your bodies, Kurosaki?"

And they told me.

It's a scary thing. Asphyxiation, I mean. Clean, neat, not too hard to set up. You only needed the bodies to prove it.

Everyone of us humans, or ex-humans, or souls, or wholes, or what_ever_ were in shock. I felt like I was going to pass out, like I'd lost too much blood.

I was dead.

Never had this occurred to me. Not once while I had been here, when I had been fighting, or any time at all, really, did the thought that I would die and then come here touch me, even though I knew that I had to die sometime. It was kind of like the thought of being an adult and having kids when you were seven. The thought just didn't seem real.

I was _dead_.

I tried to comfort myself, at least it was the body that was gone, and not the spirit. If I had died in shinigami mode, then I'd _really _be doomed for sure.

"So... uh, now that... now that we all know our story, why don't we..." Funny how hard it is to talk once your entire world has been turned on its side. Not that I haven't had to deal with that or anything.

"I think what Ichigo is trying to say," Ishida supplied for me, "is that now would be a good time to hear everyone's stories. And volunteers?"

"Yeah," Shinji said, leaning back. "Why not get this all over with?"

There was the sound of a door sliding open, then smacking closed. Shinji's name was called and he looked around, only to get a sandal to the face.

"Wh-what the heck was that for?" he demanded, putting a hand to the mark. Hiyori scowled at him, slipping her sandal back on.

"What're ya thinking, just starting the stupid story without me? What's the whole point in coming together if you try and go solo, idiot!" Apparently she had recovered, and was back into her usual brutish Hiyori self again.

Great.

"Yeah, well, we were on the look out for shinigami snooping around, trying to take us in," he started after checking with Hiyori. "Obviously we were a target, and things wouldn't look too nice when we finally met our old buddies from so long ago."

"Basically," Hiyori scowled, "they jumped us, just like they did for you. We were in the warehouse, you know, when some Kido Corp person busted Hachi's shield, and they stormed us with way too many for us to beat. Didn't think it was possible, but I guess that if the princess over here managed to do it, why couldn't they?" She jabbed a thumb at Inoue, who looked a little surprised, but no one challenged her.

"Wait... if they found you all, why are you the only ones here?"

"Well, Chad, we-"

"This idiot baldy here decided that he just had to be a martyr, and let everyone else get out. But no, I just _had_ to run back and try to save him, which got the both of us in this dump." Hiyori seemed none too pleased with the story, and lost no time venting her rage on Shinji.

"Ours isn't that great," I started, shaking my head. "I at least was just walking down the road, and then bam, they blindsided me." Everyone else nodded, saying something along the same lines. The shinigami exchanged glances, telling us that they weren't apprehended the same way, instead they had been told that they had an official demand from Central that they were stuck under house arrest until further notice.

"Isn't this just wonderful," I spat, leaning back. "I just wish... I wish we could get out of here. I don't want to have to lay around until they dissect us or something. Like if we could-"

"Break out?" Rukia cut me off, a stony look on her face. "That's not going to work Ichigo."

"Well, why not? We managed to rescue you with only six people. I'm pretty sure that we can get _out_ of here with nine." The idea was perfect -we bust out at night, jump down to the Senkaimon, have Hitsugaiya activate it or something, and then we were home free.

"Because, Ichigo, it wouldn't be just getting away. It'd mean staying gone. I don't think that we could hide from the Gotei for more then a few days, at most," Renji was quick to add, making me feel like everyone was just trying to tear me down today.

"If we got out, then we could just-"

"Getting out would mean cutting down every shinigami in this world that did not help us," Hitsugaiya said sharply. "Are you prepared to fight people who think they are stopping infected renegades who are delusional? They would not hesitate in killing us. Central 46 has done a good job in laying their trap indeed."

His words had me stumped, and I wanted to go and press the idea anyways, I was sure there was _something_ else we could do. But no, there really wasn't.

"The best thing to do, it seems," Ishida sighed, pushing up his glasses, "is wait."

And of course, we did just that.

The nine of us waited in confinement for three weeks. We were brought everything we wanted, nice clothes, books, toys, food, you name it. Except we were alone, with no outsiders to talk to. I think that we all went a little crazy, actually. Not exactly talking to Machi the Wall, or counting to duck, but we... lost it. At least, I know I did.

It started mostly with toys.

I craved little kid's toys, they fascinated me for a while. The way they were painted, or stitched together or whatever was so interesting, so I asked for dolls, trains, whistles, anything I could get my hands on. That and books. I never realized just how much I had taken them for granted before. But once I got them...it wouldn't take that long for me to destroy them. Not like the wear and tear that came to them naturally, I'd just have a fit and then...they'd be in pieces.

Like this one time, I had been holding this rag doll in my hands, looking at how painstakingly the hair had been sewn into the head, when I noticed the eyes. They were...green, too green, Ulquiorra green. Just looking at that cluster of yarn took me back to that final battle with him, and I flipped. Enemies I'd fought was suddenly everywhere, in the doll in my hands, in the puzzle beside me, on the train cars. Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Ikkaku, Renji. Just thinking Renji's name made me want to go and hunt for him, he was right there, in the same building.

I blanked for a moment, only to come back and find the doll ripped in half at my feet. It wasn't the only thing to have received damage though. Aside from its cotton insides speckling the floor in a wide arc, all of the toys I had asked for were broken, completely and irrevocably.

I couldn't stand it, staring at the wreckage that I knew that I had wreaked. So I ran. Not very far, just out of the room and onto the porch, standing by the door frame, like I thought all that carnage would disappear if it wasn't at my feet. It didn't matter that I had faced monsters, had seen the horrors of war and had watched my friends be maimed and murdered before my eyes. Just thinking about how I was falling apart, about how Kurosaki Ichigo was becoming more and more of a stranger to me, that terrified me more than anything.

I leaned against the door, panting, and then freezing when I heard Inoue come into the room.

I knew that she usually came in after my fits, cleaning up whatever I had done, but this time it really struck a chord in me, like when I'd made her scream on that first day. I listened as she spoke to herself, a habit she had picked up after coming to this wretched place, but today it seemed like her voice was softer. Like something had finally swum to the surface, like she was done hiding how _fragile_ she was.

"Oh no, he's gone and done it again. I wonder... does anyone else know about this? Maybe... maybe if I just tell Kurosaki-kun to not ask for any more..." She trailed off, and I peaked around the frame to see her with the head of the green-eyed doll in her hands, staring at its face. Instantly I knew that she made the same connection I had, which was confirmed by her suddenly jerking away from it, throwing the doll from her like it was a snake.

Wordlessly she picked it back up, stowing it in a bag that she'd brought with her like nothing had happened, and continued cleaning up. I couldn't stand there any longer, making her suffer all alone, so I walked back in, finally helping her do what I'd never had the courage to.

I was sure I wasn't the only one who suffered from strange moments like this, the others reacted as well, only differently, and less explosively. Ishida suffered from nightmares, resulting in him staying up and wandering around the place at night, while Toshiro started withdrawing from us completely, locking himself in his room for hours, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling. For Inoue, depression was tacked onto her heartbreaking fragility. Thankfully, though, Rukia was able to help her through that.

After weeks of this, a message came along that we were able to have guests. As soon as the first visitor came, it felt like we were all fine. Of course we weren't, but the majority of our most recent problems decreased with the presence of people.

At first it was just important people like Ukitake and Shunsui, and sometimes Komamura, but then vice captains and other high ranking officers were allowed into our little camp of fun. It was on a day that Ikkaku and therefore Yumichika were visiting that we got major news.

We had been sparring, me, Chad, Renji and Ikkaku, with Yumichika commenting on the occasion, and finally called it quits, retiring to the main room. He passed on some messages from people who had been too busy to see us lately, and they even had dinner with us. But as they left, Ikkaku looked back.

"Oh, just so you know, it's taken everything Squad 11 has to keep Kenpachi-taicho from running over here and tanning your hide," he called in that irritatingly nonchalant way of his. Just as I was paling, he stopped completely, like he was preparing himself for something. "And...it's been decided, the official order been sent out. You all... start testing tomorrow. Mayuri Kurotsuchi has been given pretty much free reign over the operation." He paused, not turning around to see all of our horrified faces, and kept walking.

"Good luck," were the only parting words he gave us as he reached the gate, stepping beyond our prison.

_**AN Fun, right? Well, it leaves off on a depressing note, but don't hesitate to review!**_


	2. Gods to Demons

_**AN FINALLY! Summer is here, along with me lazing around- er, I mean **_**typing up fanfictions like mad..._ *look away...* _**_**Ah, this chapter was a tough one to type up! First it was difficult to think of how to piece this all together, and then I had to fine tune it, and just as I finished typing it all up last night at about midnight-**_

_**The computer shut off.**_

_**Oh yes my friends, you lost that much time because the fickleness of laptops. And yet you somehow managed to get an update that is amazingly long! Congrats.  
**_

I think that it's enough to say no one could really say anything after Ikkaku dropped the bomb on us. We all finished our meal and retired in relative silence, trying to decide how to best deal with it. I ended up practicing for most of the night, running around the inside of the wall, going through martial arts forms and practicing the basic techniques with Zangetsu. I figured that even though I'd most likely never end up using them again, it was better to be safe than sorry.

In the morning, after I finally let myself settle down and get some sleep, we all were herded out into the streets of the Seireitei like a freak show. About five shinigami showed up to escort us to the labs, supposedly to keep people from harassing or openly stare at us, but I had the suspicion that they were more to remind us of our place. They weren't people I'd seen before, and I wondered if Central was trying to make us feel isolated. Once we were slapped in front of Mayuri and his head staff, I had 'calmed down' a little bit, as Rukia had kept hissing at me to do for the last hour or so.

Without waiting a second, Kurotsuchi started in.

"You all," he said, cocking his head and staring at us, and I tried really hard not to tune him out in favor of staring openly at his headdress, which looked like he'd chopped off the tail of a peacock, "are possibly filled with hollow reiatsu. I would personally like to dissect you after a series of trials that _really _test your powers, but I am being _confined_ by Central 46. But thankfully a number of you who have..._declined_ my offer to be a specimens," his gaze lingered on Inoue and Ishida, then moved on, "have come to my hands in the end, so it balances out. Now," Mayuri continued, raising a white hand at us, "you all are going to have testing done in a various amount of ways. Individually, in groups, so on and so forth. All nine of you will not be present everyday, but don't count on getting a break, as I intend to use you to the full potential I can. Now, let's not waste any more time, shall we?"

And just like that, we were sent off to change out of our nice clothes and into plain kimonos, much like the one that Rukia wore while waiting for her execution. The clothes really made me think as I put them on.

What was it like for Rukia, having all this happen again, but worse? She was going to have nightmares tonight, I was sure.

I was split off into a group with Rukia and Chad, then sent to a new lab. After that, all the real fun began. For the next ten hours, I was injected, attacked, treated like a lab rat and was forced to watch my friends suffer. About halfway through one of Mayuri's lackeys was sent in to exchange Chad for Renji, not offering an explanation. The way he looked at us, it made me sick, or at least, sicker than I already felt. It was like he pitied us, as though we were..._lesser beings,_ dumb animals that could only feel pain and not wonder why it was happening. And underneath that, there was excitement. This, all of this, the pain, the results, the _torture,_ it thrilled him, like he was watching a particularly suspenseful movie.

After that, I stopped thinking and just starting praying it'd all _stop. _By the time we were escorted out, it was obvious that we had been rather mistreated. My legs were shaking, though from anxiety or exhaustion, I didn't know. Hiyori was limping, Inoue looked like she had bruised ribs, though she had told me that she, Toshiro and Ishida hadn't done any physical combat, and something had happened to Shinji that made him eerily quiet. I didn't ask if she were lying to me, really just wanting to _sleep._ That or die, but I'd done that twice already, so there really wasn't much of a point?

From then on, we were test rats. Some days Mayuri would inflict wounds on us, or hook us up to something that was destroyed, and then channel our different energy to fix it. On others, a few of his higher goons would make us fight mannequins. They were just a skeleton with skin stretched over them, and they never died. And every day, we were subject to chemical tests. Injections, burning salves, ointments applied to the wounds we had been given. We never found out how we were doing, or if there was even a level we had to perform at, and when we tried to asked, we were just told that there were 'interesting results'.

Every test we had to take was sick and twisted, and I don't know how he managed to get any information from them, or how he was even allowed to _do_ these experiments, but somehow they were considered 'okay'. For every test he had us do, there was someone, Ukitake some days, Yama-ji's vice captain others, some body important, to tell him to draw the line.

I'm just not sure where that was.

It sickened me, watching all of this. What ever it was that we were being stabbed with every day, or maybe it was just the strain itself, it was wearing us down. Day by day, I watched as Rukia's snappy comebacks slowed, watched as Shinji lost his strange upbeat attitude, watched as Chad slowly lost the strength that he had been born with, watched as we all slowly started to die.

Again.

It wasn't comforting, knowing this. As much as we all hated this sick life we now had, we didn't really want to _die_. Sure, there had been depression, insanity, and loss of all reason, but total death? No, somehow that just wasn't our style.

So we made efforts to perk ourselves back up. Rukia took up painting (with about as much success as with her drawing), Ishida started taking large sewing orders, Shinji mixing colors and prints to make some strange yet pleasing outfits. I can't say if it _worked_, but at least it took our minds off of things. Or at least a few of them.

One day we got ready like any other, waking up whenever we did, and then getting ready for the day, eating and cleaning up and stuff like that. Yesterday Renji, Orihime and Hiyori were able to stay behind, so the rest of us were expecting them to be swapped out with another three. But the messenger who usually told us which people to come never actually turned up, so all nine of us headed on down to the labs, dressed in plain white robes as required. Surprisingly enough Mayuri met us out front, directing us to lab number 8 million, and we were informed that we were having a free for all, of sorts. We would be injected with something that enabled our bodies to pull off something freakishly like high speed regeneration, and the Squad 12 cronies would watch us to see how our bodies were to react. Wonderful.

So we got down to it, no sense resisting because it was an electric jolt if we didn't (oh yeah Central, this is _real_ humane...), fighting away. It wasn't like we were fighting to kill, or even seriously injure each other, but it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to make a convincing fight while trying to avoid injuring people.

I'm pretty sure we all expected that we'd have to be at it all day, but for some reason, soon after we started, we stopped. And then were sent home.

"It's weird," Rukia started, once we were out and on the roads, "how they just let us go."

"Hmm, yeah, it's really weird that we were just let loose from a lunatic's grasp. Well duh, no crap Smarts!" Renji snapped, first speaking in an imitation of Rukia's voice and then barking at her. She scowled, hitting him, and I had to say, I was relieved to see at least part of the old them again.

"But what do you think caused it," Chad rumbled, looking at the ground.

"Dunno. D'ya think that they're letting us rest up for whatever nightmare they have set up for tomorrow?" Shinji asked, cocking his head.

"Obviously, idiot!" Hiyori yelled, punching him. "What else could we be let out for?"

"I don't know, but did anyone else see what was going on up there," Ishida said, referring to the observation deck that had been set above our battle ground. Hitsugaiya nodded, sighing.

"It was the same as usual, them just watching us and scribbling things down, but then something went wrong I guess. People started running and yelling, and they all looked worried."

"Yes, and then after that, Kurotsuchi came out, looking as if something he had to deal with a catastrophe." Ishida's eyes narrowed with intensity as he continued, and I felt myself getting even more serious.

"What could that mean?" Orihime asked, voice quiet. There was silence, and a thought made me give out a bark of black laughter.

"Hopefully it means the whole forsaken place will explode, right now." There were a few chuckles at that, and Rukia even glanced behind us in hopes that she would see a mushroom cloud, but had no luck.

Joking like we hadn't for weeks, we returned to our grounds, enjoying ourselves. And, as usual, it ended way too fast.

The next day we got ready, expecting something a lot worse than usual like Shinji had suggested. We were just waiting for the messenger dude to come, and he did, with an unexpected message.

"All testing has been canceled today. All contaminated souls are to remain here until further notice." And that was all. The funny thing was that I didn't really even care that we all got a break, I was just so annoyed with that guy never using our names.

"Why is it," I ground out, "that after all this crap, the Winter War, where we were all heroes, being manhandled by psychotic scientists and devoting our _lives_ for their sake, a pathetic messenger can't even use our names? All it ever is is '_You captives',_ or '_contaminated souls'."_

"Shut up," Rukia grunted around her chopsticks, smacking my head. "Be thankful that we even _have_ a break to complain, m'kay?"

"Yeah," said Hiyori, "all I ever hear you say these days are complaints. Just shut up and enjoy the sunshine, baldy!" As much as I wanted to snap back at them, they were right. So instead, I stepped out onto the porch, wishing that someone would walk through the front gates.

A few weeks earlier, about three days into our testing, the order that we again were to be isolated was passed. At first we all were terrified that we would degenerate back into those horrific shadows of ourselves, but that never happened. I guess it was because we still _saw_ other people, Squad 12 shinigami, people walking in the streets as we headed to the labs, but it never, not once, got rid of the ache for people inside us.

But amazingly, as if my longing now were enough to break that command, the gates were opening, and a shinigami was walking through them. Not a captain, nor someone with a distinctive outline, but as they came closer I saw that it was thankfully a friendly face.

"Hey Hisagi, what's up?" I waved, and he nodded, looking away. I felt worried at this, but called the others out anyways. We all talked for a few minutes, until Toshiro cut to the chase.

"Hisagi-fukutaicho, why are you here?" We all looked around at him, who was glaring at the man. There was no screwing around with Hitsugaiya.

"I... I was sent by my captain. He told me to tell you that... if something unexpected happens, you know you still have allies, right?" Everyone stared at Shuuhei, not expecting this. Kaname had been replaced almost a year ago by some guy called Masafumi Shura, who was about as calloused as Byakuya when it came to people who were given slack for major misdeeds. And to him, us ryoka were top of the list. So it was kind of a surprise to hear this coming from Hisagi, but we accepted it anyways.

He nodded at us and then left, the whole time he looked shifty, like he wasn't supposed to be there. We were just wondering what was going to happen now that the mysterious message was out in the open. We got used to the confinement again, glad that it meant lack of testing, until the messenger came and told us the wonderful news.

Geez I was starting to hate that guy.

"A message from Yamamoto-soutaicho to the restrained souls," he started, and waited for all nine of us to gather. "It had been discovered that all here have been corrupted by hollow reiatsu, and are to be kept under strict surveillance at all times. All nine are to be moved over to a holding bay until they either stabilize, or are to be executed from the contamination spreading. No personal possessions are to be brought along, only a plain robe and a spare. The move is to be tomorrow." And then he vanished, leaving us with all of our lovely little problems.

None of us could speak for a while after he delivered the news. We had all known that once this calm was over, we'd be left with a storm that would most likely wreck us, but it was worse to have it said aloud.

"Well..." Shinji started, looking around at us. "Well, we... we better bet going then. If we're to be moving, then why don't we... why don't we start getting ready?"

"For _what?_" Renji asked, sounding desperate and on edge. "We don't need anything. All we get is the clothes on our backs and a spare set! What do you expect us to do; say good-bye to the scenery?" He stormed off, and I wanted to agree with him, but one idiot was enough, so I figured I had to at least try to comfort everyone. After a moment we shuffled off, but I was close enough to hear Toshiro tell Shinji, Rukia and Chad, "He's right you know. We don't have anything to do. All we can do-"

Is wait. It was something we all were pretty used to by now.

The next day, we found out what it felt like to be cattle. We were herded into one pen, and then into another, told this and that, and then finally had the grim truth explained to us by a top scientist called Akon.

"You were originally all confined and brought here because of the possibility of hollow contamination," he said, setting in to us without any amble. "That possibility is now fact. You all are going to be tested on which aspects of hollows you contain, whether it is high speed regeneration, heirro, various hollow techniques or other. You vizards are going to have different testing than the other six, since you have all gone through hollowification, and therefore contain at least some hollow powers."

"Okay, question," I said, raising my hand like a school kid to humor him. He, sadly, was not humored.

"_Yes?_"

"Like you said, us three are vizards, so that means we're already part hollow. Why bother testing?"

"Because, Kurosaki-san, there is a difference in the type of energy vizards contain. It can and has been stabilized, even manipulated to your own gain, but this specific branch that all nine of you have been infected with will eat you from the inside out."

That shut me up, and I followed the others into our holding cells. Over the next few weeks I and my fellow diseased souls were put through testing that made the ones from before look like skipping through a field of daisies. Apparently their excuse was that since we were officially part hollow now, we could withstand more, i.e. Mayuri had a whole lot less restrictions.

We finally were reduced to the stereotypical 'people floating in giant test tubes' thing, which we found out pretty quick was only for people who had things _really_ bad.

It was hard to focus in there, heck, the only thing that was probably keeping me alive were the tubes giving me air and something that was stabbed into my arm, taking readings on my brain or something. The other eight were lined up next to me in a neat little row, and I could vaguely see Chad, suspended in the same green fluid and set up with the same tech as me. Just thinking about the state me and my friends were in suddenly bothered me so much that all of my anger that I had somehow kept inside for months was just spilling out, making my hands shake.

What had I done to deserve this? Oh, I dunno, just _practically killed Aizen and half of his cronies!_ And how was I repaid? Oh, that's right, I had to have my body murdered, go through _months_ of testing at the hands of this psychotic peacock, until I was turned into a frog he wanted to dissect. Would it have killed them to just give me a tequila and chips, and then send me off to the Caribbean? Of course it was! They just had to do their absolute _best_ to try and kill me! Again, because dying in battle on their behalf just wasn't enough.

And then I heard his voice. My inner hollow's voice, Hichigo. I hadn't heard him for so long that at first it kind of scared me.

_**Come on King! Why are you putting up with this stupid thing! Bust out of here, let's go on the run! **_**Anything **_**has to be better than this!**_

_Where would we go? The Gotei is going to have tabs on us until we really die!_

_**Wouldn't your death, everyone's death be a bunch of deaths that they arranged again? Come on, they're just going to us you until you're all sucked dry, and then kill you! You're dead, why waste this chance? You don't have any obligations, except to yourself. Come one King! Let's get out of here!**_

And just like that, I snapped. I'm not really sure how it happened, but suddenly I was screaming. I could hear it, even though I was surrounded by liquid, it was a horrible sound, like...

Like a hollow's shriek.

My surprise, however, was dimmed by the absolute _rage_ I was feeling. Out of instinct, I raised a fist.

_I really hope Mayuri doesn't have insurance..._

And then I punched.

I have to say, the shattering of glass made a very satisfying sound. I shrieked again, and that seemed to rouse the others. Their shapes seemed distorted somehow, changed, but I was having enough trouble trying to figure out exactly why everyone was so _short_. Some shinigami next to me started yelling, flailing their arms and pulling out their zanpakuto, as what looked like a girl smashed her way through the glass of Hiyori's wall. Though, with black horns, yellow and black eyes and a tail, she looked more like a demon than girl. Beside her a tall bird man was pulling his arm from a the shattered remains of Shinji's test tube, towering over almost everyone and leering down at us with a mummy-like mask.

I was shocked, and felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach (or was it a shinigami trying to stab me in the stomach?). No, no, this wasn't right! It couldn't be-

Terrified at what I might find, I looked down at my arms, and saw they were white, with crimson furred wrist bands and long red hair falling past my elbows.

Horror filled me as everything clicked into place. What had I dragged my friends into? If it was just me...if my friends hadn't been tortured as well...

As a tall fairy-woman stepped from Inoue's tube along with an ice woman and flat out ugly demon from Rukia and Renji's tanks, I felt like this couldn't get any worse. Looking at all of the masks, masks of my _friends _was bad enough, but then there was the spiritual pressure. The reiatsu coming off of us was crushing, and shinigami were collapsing left and right. But having people fall at my feet wasn't the worse of my problems. Because, knowing my life, things could always get worse.

While I was still staring at the others and trying to figure out what the heck had just happened, reinforcements came. So now to add to the confusion, we were being swamped with midgets running around trying to blast us with kido or stab us or _something_, but so far that hadn't really worked. Chad (another tall being, with mostly black with red and white accents on his skin) realized that swatting at these guys wasn't exactly getting anywhere, so he decided to smash open the wall. We all funneled through to the street outside, finally able to get out of that crowded place. Whatever liquid had been in the tanks was now mostly on the floor, making fighting difficult, and all of the noise was making me feel even more agitated, so I was pretty relived at taking my first breath of fresh air in who knew how long. I almost wanted to laugh, it was so ironic - when we finally _did_ turn into hollows, we were actually free, but instead I chose to scrutinize everyone in more detail.

I supposed that I looked like I did on the dome of Las Noches, which Ishida and Inoue had reluctantly described to me while we were confined. I didn't really spend much time checking myself out in a mirror, but I was fairly shocked, looking at the others. As I had guessed from before, Shinji was a bird man-esque kind of hollow, only he had a pharaoh 's neck plate, jewelry and outfit. The others were all equally hollowy, Ishida mostly normal except for the large raven wings and beak. Inoue had legs freakishly like her Shun Shun Rikka and her eyes were bizarre, the sclera fading from black to grey, Toshiro a little ice dragon with an axe tail, and so on. The only thing that really bothered me (aside from the fact that we were hollows), was that we all had pretty distinct human shapes. Call me stupid, but I was pretty sure that hollows with human shapes usually didn't come up until they were aduchas, or until after they were arrancar. So why were we...?

"Ichigo, what's going on?" I turned at the voice, shocked to hear such a harsh sound coming from Inoue, but I guess that when you lose your heart, you can't exactly sound sweet.

"I don't know! It's just all so..." I looked away from her masked face, suddenly ashamed that I had not only caused her to become this, but also that I didn't even have an answer to all these problems.

"Look, Kurosaki, it's great that you're actually feeling something right now, but _we have to keep moving!_" Shinji yelled at me, and I was about to shout back when a flood of shinigami rushed around the corner.

You know, there's about only one problem with turning into a full fledged hollow in the middle of the Gotei. It's the fact that everyone's trying to kill you.

So we couldn't exactly dilly dally about these things. Instead we ran around the Seireitei for a few hours, trying not to be killed. It was... _interesting_ for the first little bit, finding our new strengths and reminiscing about those good old days when we were just plain ol' ryoka. But then small complications popped up.

Another problem with being a hollow: You have to eat to survive.

What would have horrified me before seemed mandatory, exciting, _fun_, even, having to work for your food was so much better then having it handed to you on a plate. Around me the others were eating as well, not really _stopping,_ more like taking a bite here, a nibble there.

Just as we rounded a corner, we found ourselves faced with a dead end. None of us was really bothered by it, all it meant was a little more excitement to get back the way we came, that or started breaking down more walls. I started to turn, but the next second, there was a blur and then I was knocked unconscious.

The next moment I came to, I was on a hill along with the other eight. All of us were in a disgraceful sprawl on the ground, like we had been dumped there a few moments before.

"What the heck...?" Ishida mumbled, climbing to his feet.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like I just got trampled by a bunch of Hiyori's," Shinji moaned, attempting to stand up as well, but stopped by an angry Hiyori.

"It feels more like we were hit with both a high level restraint spell, maybe a 76, and then a consuming kido, something to reduce our reiatsu to almost nothing." I glanced at Hitsugaiya, who was sitting up, and sighed. What on earth did _that _mean? As if reading my mind, Rukia clarified.

"He means that we were first held in place, probably something to cut off most of our senses, and then making us feel pain if we struggled, and then had a stunner put on us to drain our power. Clever, really. Almost as if..."

"As if someone where trying to break us out," Chad supplied, looking up at the two people in front of us that I hadn't noticed before. They were surprisingly enough Ukitake and Shunsui, both looking mighty impressive, with their haori and long hair blowing in the wind. I was just getting ready to fight these guys when Ukitake raised a hand.

"Hey now, don't do anything hasty. We're not here to fight. We just want to talk."

Hiyori snorted, rolling her eyes.

"_Right, _you don't want to fight. What are you here for then, to give us your blessing?"

"Not quite," he said with a small chuckle.

"The fact is," Shunsui sighed, shaking his head, "is that even before you were brought in Central has had rumors spread about you, all of you, which you already knew. But the whole reason for this is that you guys could be a problem to them in future. Each one of you is either too powerful, or has to... unique of powers to go unchecked. It's not like the captains, who are bound to fulfill what they say, you all are loose cannons, yes, even you ex-shinigami. You've proved that you're not willing to stand around, obeying orders when you feel strongly about something. Almost every member of Central 46 is worried that you'll rebel and try to over throw them, destroying the system."

"Yeah, because _this_ one works so well," I spat, still not quite trusting them.

"For _them_," Rukia said quietly. I glanced at her, and she was looking Ukitake in the eye. "I get it. They're afraid that if we take control it might throw the whole place into chaos. If we were to suddenly take power, then it would not only shake the confidence of the troops. Central, defeated twice in under three years, no people to fill the gaps left by the dead or defected taichos and fuku-taichos. It welcomes direct attacks from hollows. Like us," she said with a black smile.

"Exactly. And a few of us have started wondering why turn the people against you, instead of trying to restrain you. We've begun to believe that they had Mayuri _give_ you the infection, small strains at a time, so as to be able to blame you entirely in the end. And if that didn't work, Mayuri would take the rap. It was the perfect set up, Mayuri probably even agreed to it, as it was the perfect chance to examine you all. But they didn't count on your unpredictability."

"But why have you captured us?" hissed Renji, who somehow managed to tack on some sense of being respectful at the same time.

"Because we think that if you manage to get out, become stronger, and still have sympathies with us, then it'll be all the better for the Gotei."

"So this is all just a tactical play?"

"Hardly. Can't we have both tactics _and_ friendship in this? Trust me, it was a combined effort from all of the captains to arrange all of this."

"No way," I scoffed, shaking my head. "I can name about half of the captains that _hate_ me, especially Yama-ji. Why would any of them-"

"It's because we all think that Central 46 is corrupted."

We all just stared at Ukitake when he said this, not quite sure how to restart the conversation. _Central 46 corrupted?_ That one was entirely unprecedented, I was sure.

"Okay...could you...uhm, explain how all of the captains helped us again?"

"Jyuushiro and I have been pulling strings ever since you've gotten in here. Which means about three months more paper work for me and Nanao-chan, but it's worth it. Byakuya-taicho arranged your living quarters, because otherwise you'd be eating hard tack in a cell somewhere. Shura helped with your escape, you can't _possibly_ have thought the shinigami that encountered you were it? And then there was... some blindness going on around the others. Mayuri didn't _notice_ the reiatsu caps, some little device you'll find on the back of your necks to cut down 90 percent of your reiatsu until you pull them off, so you can go practically anywhere unnoticed. And Yama-ji didn't _notice_ how everything was going rather smoothly for all of you, on any account. And then there's Unohana, who just happened to have had a good percentage of all the Squads in recovery from a series of...small accidents."

No point in lying here, we all were dumbfounded at this sudden treachery. I could expect it from Ukitake and Shunsui, obviously, and maybe Unohana and Byakuya from behind the shadows, but _everyone_?

"But-but, how can you- we _ate_ part of your men! You can't _seriously _think, that after all this-"

"Yeah well, that's something none of us were exactly _happy_ about, but everyone who was on the floor with you guys knew exactly what they were getting into. Everyone who goes through the Academy is taught that a freshly turned hollow is the wildest."

"What are we going to do now? You've busted us out, but where do we go? It's not like we can hide out in the boonies of the Soul Society forever. And we can't go to the World of the Living either, same problem of being caught."

"_Think,_ Kurosaki," snapped Hitsugaiya, scowling. I was pretty _sure_ he was scowling anyways, his mask was a freakish grin, so it was kind of hard to tell. "Where _else_ can we go that hollows won't be detected?"

I turned away, hating the thought. I never wanted to go back to that place, with the eternal night and the feeling of being constantly watched. I never wanted to go back to the half memories I'd managed to hide away.

"Hueco Mundo," Shunsui said gently, sensing my bitterness. "I know it's not exactly ideal, considering not only the competition to survive out there, but there's also the matter of your... _pasts_ with the hollows. But just remember; you have to survive in order to help clear your names. After this Central is going to be covering up its tracks by saying you all went savage, and it was a miracle that the shinigami saved people from more casualties, but that you sadly perished. That's what we're leaning towards, anyways."

"The real truth is that originally you all had some chance at having hollow reiatsu inside you, everyone who sustained a major injury from a high level arrancar does, but as we said, they were more worried about you upsetting the balance than being consumed. It was only after Mayuri started to alter your bodies, injecting you with concentration of reiatsu and...other things that you started to change. You're probably feeling emotions right now, aren't you? Hollows normally don't feel much other than hunger, rage, hate and other negative emotions until they become arrancar. But in your case, because of the experiments, you have developed better than any hollow before, skipping the menos stage and becoming an aduchas."

"But why did they only call us nine in," Rukia asked, staring at Ukitake with eyes that just barely held some of the old awe and respect for her ex-captain. "Why not Kenpachi, or nii-san, or Soi Fon, or anyone?"

"Because it was just to get at you humans, mostly. The vizards were also something to be sorted out, but to cover up their tracks Central took you three shinigami because they can't trust you to take orders and do the wrong thing. Now, we have to get going, someone is sure to have noticed our spiritual pressure by now. As of the moment you step through the Senkaimon, you all will be dead, permanently." There were grim nods meeting his words, but I managed a laugh as Ukitake opened the thing up, telling us that we'd have to hurry because Hell Butterflies weren't compatible with hollows, and that we'd most likely just end up eating the things.

"But hey, I thought we were already dead," I smirked, nodding at the captains. Ukitake looked sad as we started to head towards the gate, none of us able to use a garganta yet, but nodded as I threw up a hand, waving.

"Best of luck, friends. I hope that you will stay that way, even though you're demons.." With that, we all entered the middle ground, Ukitake's parting words ringing in our ears.

_**AN Man I love writing this chapter. Mayuri's tests were a demon to come up with, so I opted out for the lazy thing-leaving it shrouded in mystery for you to think up yourselves. Which is probably much worse than anything I could have come up with. You guys are sick. ;D Well, there's the usual: Review! Tell me how sadly amazing I am at angst! Tell me what you had for dinner! I need company, desperately. T^T**_


	3. Turning About

_**AN Ah, long update! I really, honestly and truly intended to get this up and running ages sooner, but between my week long vacation to New York, shopping for suitable clothing, and having to thrash some of the more technical matters of this out, it didn't get posted til now. BUT. Here it is. I hope you all enjoy it.**_

Getting through the Senkaimon wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. I guess because we were hollows our reiatsu levels became higher, but getting in and out was no sweat. It was only when we got to the midnight desert that things started to change.

Looking around at those dunes and that black sky made me feel sick, remembering everything that happened here. But more then that, there was the look at how _dead_ everything was. There wasn't a hollow in sight, and to think of it, we hadn't really seen any hollows out in the desert before Nel and her 'brothers' bumped into us. Where could all of the hollows be? Even as I was feeling all of the fear, puzzlement, anger, regret, I felt _excited,_ like I was a little kid let loose on some amazing playground. Glancing at the others I could see that they were grinning, awful, twisted smiles, but after a moment that the same distortion was on my face -mask- as well. I cocked my head at them, knowing they were feeling the same things as me, the joy, the fear, but most of all, the _hunger_. Well, I thought with a dark indifference, we might as well change that.

For the next few days, months, moments, everything went according to how we felt. We traveled, fought, ate, or simply lazed around because we wanted to. No more did we have _morals_ and _duties_ to our name, working because we knew that crap was going down and we could help change it. Instead, we lived like we were free.

Hollows were interested in us. After all, we were a source of mass spiritual pressure, and we just popped up one day, with no explanation. So of course we attracted all sorts of hollows to us. First they were just little things, pathetic to the extreme, not boasting to our faces, but obviously thinking of what their levels would be if they managed to take a chunk out of us. They weren't even worth eating, not really. We just left them, pitiful as they laid in the sand, bleeding to death. But then there was bigger game, hollows that actually could claim some title, or even gillian and some times menos. We didn't bother with the menos, who really wanted to take on such monsters?, but I at least had fun with the other aduchas. Every one of them marveled at us, sure that we were high aduchas, or maybe low level vasto lordes, but when they saw us... They were all confused. None of us actually conformed to the usual 'looks like a big monster, has a crazy spiritual pressure' thing, as we were bigger than vasto lordes, but not really the average size of an aduchas, which was about fifteen feet. Shinji was the tallest among us, just kissing nine I'd say, but that didn't really seem to have an affect on them. There was something else that puzzled them as well, it was in their eyes as they died, but I couldn't quite name it.

My first assumption of the place was wrong- it was ironically full of life. It wasn't out in the open like the other two worlds, no, it was more quiet, hiding, stalking, waiting for you to turn away for a moment so they could gut you. The hollows were everywhere, in the sand, floating in the air, hidden in plain sight. It was like a hum, falling to the background when you didn't need it, but a chatter when you listened, talking about everything, being eaten, eating others, the amazing powers one had, but most of all, regression. It was a common fear, or at least worry in all hollows aside from vasto lordes. Always, the under tone of not eating enough high level hollows, or being bitten was there, hidden behind outright worry or a big show, which was weird. None of us in our little band had thought about regressing, the thought hadn't even struck us. We didn't have a fear of it, probably because we always felt ourselves becoming stronger. No matter what we did, there was always that swell in power, until our aduchas forms couldn't handle it any more.

Shinji was the first to go. We had been fighting a group of vasto lordes who thought that they would be bullies and make a triumph over pathetic little aduchas, when he fell to his knees. The vasto lordes took the opportunity, pouncing on him when he screamed, stopping them in their tracks. The look of terror on their faces was something entirely new to me, and waited for what happened next.

"He's changing! Quick, finish him off!" one, the leader, it seemed, said, leaping over Hiyori and drawing back an arm to gore him on its claws. The others were more hesitant, causing most of their deaths, but the remaining ones flowing forward, trying to stop Shinji before what ever was happening to him finished happening.

Watching him, them was amazing. It was like they were going in slow motion, Shinji changing like they had said, the feathers on his arms, legs and his tail disappearing, falling off, and then turning to dust. His mask changed slightly as well, becoming more compact, and when he climbed to his feet, he looked for the most, human, with the exception of mask and white armor. I was reeling, was this really how you became a vasto lordes? Apparently so, because the other vastos were halting, turning back.

"He was strong before, now he'll be a monster!" All we could do was stare as Shinji pounced forward, sending a quick set of blows to their necks before they fell to the ground. He looked up, a strange look on his face, happiness combined with revulsion and confusion.

"What am I..."

"_How could you change before me?_" Hiyori jumped forward, going for a kick to the chest, but he caught her. She looked like she was about to scream, or cry, or _something_, when Shinji let her go. The moment she touched the ground she reached up and decked him, right in the jaw, making him stumble back. Glaring at him, Hiyori scowled, turning away as he fumbled with some words about how he was going to pummel her, that he was kind of sorry, and that he couldn't even control his change in the first place! I started laughing, this was all just priceless. Of course she would be the kind of person to have a fit when someone changed before her.

But she got her wish, the following day exploding into a smaller, more hostile form. Chad shifted moments after, looking like he usually did, albeit covered in a dull black skin that seemed to absorb all the light. For the following days, every one of us nine changed. I felt it as a shift inside me. Literally, like a gear just snapped out of place. Alarmed, I looked at the others, when I fell to the ground. Tremors were wracking my body, and a wail escaped me, a shriek that was full of pain and confusion. I could feel everything, my body shifting, becoming smaller, more compact, a fine tuned weapon with no excess. When I managed to stand back up, the markings on my arms was different, more similar to my first few masks, and funnily enough, my hair was shorter. It was hard for me to get the hang of the new body, it was too strong, too fast, and too _small_. I had fit into the aduchas body perfectly fine, not really needing any time to adjust to the new height, but this was strange. I was taller then I had been as a shinigami, but a lot shorter than my aduchas form.

Finally, Inoue changed, the last one to go, and looked at me with those black and gold eyes, and I remembered how her eyes used to be grey-brown, how I'd hurt her so much, through my pig headedness, and everything else, which I couldn't really control, but what I should ave prevented. But then a hard look came into her eye, and she nodded at me, seeming defiant and proud at having changed. When she opened her mouth, I expected a harsh snarl, or the new yet not unusual subtle way she phrased her words, cutting me down, yet in a passive-aggressive way. I was positive she had picked that skill up from Ulquiorra, and had secretly been refining it, just in case she became a hollow like she was now. There were just some things that I couldn't put past this new Orihime. But when she spoke, it was in a shy, quiet way.

"Maybe... do you think that maybe, if we could, we go to... Las Noches?" Her words were so much like the past Inoue, that all I could do was nod, I was so happy at the thought- maybe, just _maybe_ she was back to normal, proof that not all of us were lost causes. But the triumph in her eyes told me that no, not yet, she wasn't the same. Ignoring this, I turned to the others, telling them what she had suggested, wondering if that was okay.

"Wait. Wait. You're telling me that you want to go _back_ to Hueco Mundo, where our break in must be legendary and your name is top of the 'to kill when ever you see his mug' list?" Ishida looked at me like I was a lunatic, eyes 'widening' behind the markings on his mask. "Has being a hollow made you _insane?_"

"Wasn't I before?" I said, shrugging. "Well, what do you guys think? Go to Las Noches or not?"

"Why not," Toshiro said, shrugging, Shinji and Hiyori saying much the same, but it was Chad, Rukia and Renji who I looked to. _They_ were the ones that had the bad memories there, not just an interest. Rukia shook her head, plain mask not revealing anything.

"At this point, I don't really care. Let's just look at the place and never go back." Her voice was so tired, I wanted to do something for her, all of them, but was as usual, powerless. Chad shrugged, and Renji started walking away.

"Who cares about that white palace. All the memories that it brings back for me is being stalked by that freak tiki dude, and almost getting killed by that lunatic Syazel. If we go, let's make it fast." I shook my head, and sighed.

"Okay, to Las Noches it is then."

Going up to the palace was an experience best labeled as 'odd'. Not only was there the sense of deja vu, but also feel that everything moved _fast_. While roaming we had figured out several hollow techniques, sonido among them. We were all a fair hand at it, so it went pretty fast. As before, we could see Las Noches, but it seemed a little blurred. We reached the wall, which kind of surprised me. Where was the sand monster that was supposed to protect the place? Everyone who had been on the expedition to save Orihime exchanged glances, thinking the same thing as me.

"Okay, how do we get in?" Shinji said, walking up to the wall and brushing a hand against the stone.

"Last time we had help from... some hollows," I said, and the old rescue team looked away, trying to block the memories the siblings had left us. "But now I guess we can just bust a hole in the wall. Make an entrance, you know." Renji offered to do it, since he was surprisingly the most adept at making a cero and bala, much to his pride and our humor. Pretty soon there was a neat hole in the wall, and we all made our way forward, talking somewhat excitedly about what we'd find here, now that Aizen had left.

And stopped dead.

The entire place, every building, every wall, _everything_ was in ruins. The entire place, the great palace that we had spent ages fighting through, making our way towards Inoue, was gone.

"What happened?" Rukia asked, turning to us. I could only stare, remembering every little detail about the buildings. This wasn't right. How could just a place fall? Inoue walked forward, setting a shaky hand on part of a wall. Renji was turning around, staring at the walls, noting how on the inside they were scared and in places broken down, the tops jagged, lending to the blurry image we had seen when approaching.

"How did this... who could have caused this destruction? Where are the hollows? _Why is no one here?_" I screamed, turning around and slamming my fist into a wall. Like I thought, not even dust came off of it. Those things were solid, not just anyone could destroy.

"Ichigo," Ishida hissed, grabbing my shoulder. I turned around, ready for anything. There was nothing though, except traces of someone's reiatsu, outside of our little group.

"What is it," Hitsugaiya asked, looking at me with a calculating air.

"Someone..."

"Hello, who are you?"

We all turned, as a little girl spoke, out of no where it seemed. A moment later, a small girl, younger then Yuzu and Karin, was stepping around a white boulder. She was wearing the usual white and black uniform of a fully formed arrancar, but it was more dress like, a jumper with hakama under it, and had two pig tails. But the really awful thing about her, was her mask. It was broken off of the side of her face, showing an innocent, shy smile, while the bone like face was an awful grin, leering at us, distracting me from examining her in detail. Instantly I started charging a cero, not quite enough to be set off, but enough to be a threat.

"Wait, no, please don't attack. I just want to tell you-" Ishida whipped in behind her, hand positioned around her neck. She froze, and Shinji started a bala.

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk to this group of powerful vasto lordes that are sweeping through the desert. Everyone talks about you."

"Who are you?"

"Me? Just Jacintha Wyngaard, dieciséis arrancar, after Aizen-sama fell." I glared at her, letting the energy I had gathered slip away.

"And why did you come here?"

"I was ordered to come watch this place, by Helyan Sindervanch, in case you chose to come here. Which," she said, giving a small smile, "you did."

"And why do you take orders from him?" Hiyori demanded of her, snarling. "Is he an espada?"

"Espada?" Jacintha asked, eyes wide. She stared at us, head shaking slightly. "Haven't you found out yet?"

"Told us... what?"

"This place, Hueco Mundo, it has no espada."

"What? What are you talking about, we've all fought them! Are you messing with us?" Jacintha laughed at my words, hand hiding her mouth.

"You're so silly. Ever since Aizen fell, we have had no one who is the strongest. Only people who are the same strength."

"How is that possible," Ishida asked, still not having removed his hand from her neck. "You can't really have ten arrancar who are all the same level, it's simply impossible."

"You're right, but espada can only happen if there are ten hollows who are all the strongest. We have two who are the same, canceling it all out."

"Okay, little girl, just tell me _why_ we're so important? Your Sindervanch dude want to make us into a bunch of his cronies?" Hiyori rolled her eyes, fangs bared.

"No, no, he just wants to talk. He says you're all interesting!" She looked excited, just like the little kid she was supposed to be, but it was carefully tamped out in a moment. Jacintha's eyes fell to the ground, as if she were ashamed. "And... I was curious... what you would all be like. And I know you now, and you all... know so little."

I gave a bark of a laugh, throwing my head back.

"Yes, because there are information kiosks all over this place."

"No, you just... don't talk with people outside of your friends? Until I found you."

Shinji shrugged, sighing.

"It kind of comes with eating most everyone we meet." She giggled at this, and I stared at her, not quite used to a little girl with such a dark understanding of the world, much less the hollow one.

"Like how you were so surprised when you found this place," she said, gesturing around to the rubble of Las Noches. "I though _everyone_ knew about what happened."

"Consequently, what _did _happen?" he asked, eying her warily.

"Stop beating around the bush, Wyngaard, tell us what you know." Hitsugaiya had been standing off to the side rather patiently, but now he broke in, a vein surely pulsing, if he had a heart. Jacintha grinned at him, immune to his scowl, and nodded.

"Arrancar didn't like this, it showed Aizen had control over us. So we tore it down, and this is all that's left."

I noticed that she never used the name of the white palace, referring to as 'this place'. I could tell that Shinji, Ishida and Rukia were definitely interested in this little girl, her superior, and everything that had happened to Hueco Mundo in the years we had been away. That was why I wasn't remotely surprised when he opened his mouth, looking at Jacintha with a slight smile.

"Okay kid, why don't we mosey over to your leader, and talk there?" She beamed, nodding, neck rubbing against Ishida's claws.

"That sounds great!" The kid smiled at all of us in turn, before waving at us and turning, once Ishida had moved away from her. Hiyori and Renji were protesting this new development, but were quickly subdued. Just as I passed Jacintha, I heard her, just a whisper that I don't think any one else heard, "I'm so glad that I didn't have to force you. This way we might be friends."

_**AN Oooooh, how ominous. I think this Jacintha character sounds like great fun, and I can't wait to do more with her! Another person I think will be interesting to work with more is this new Orihime. I don't **_**really_ like her all that much, she's a cold, calculating, subtly cutting Inoue, what is there to love?, but she is a character. Hopefully some new transformation will occur, giving us our usual Hime back._**

_**Note: I dislike group scenes. Dialogue for all of them is a pain. I just don't like it. DX But passing over my writing woes, please, review! They fuel my day, and everyone works towards a new chapter being installed sooner!**_


	4. Tearing Up

_**AN Wow, this update took me a while. I guess I wasn't too sure on how to make this all flow, in my mind it was jumping from one scene to another BAM!, just like that, and of course you guys wouldn't let me get away with that, would you? So instead I slaved away like a good little puppy for you, listening to the much required angsty music and such, giving you another chapter. So you guys better ENJOY IT.**_

I don't know how long we ran, might have been hours, might have been weeks. Either way, it was a long time. If I wasn't a hollow, I probably would have collapsed from exhaustion, but being able to absorb reishi for sustenance was a major help. Finally we caught sight of our desired white bump on a white landscape of white dunes filled with white creatures, making our the excitement go _sky high._ Hiyori demanded of Jacintha if we went in a circle, but the girl merely looked serious and shook her head, telling us that all rock in Hueco Mundo was white, and that we would be there soon.

Sure, enough we were walking through some creepy set of (white) gates, down a completely empty road. Large buildings stood on either side of us, gaping out with black eyes called windows.

"Where is..."

"Ciudad Muerta is full of all sorts of hollows. They're just watching right now. A lot of them are lower lever adjuchas, hiding from your pressure. But they will come out once we are gone." Hitsugaiya exchanged glances with Shinji, not quite believing her, but we continued to follow Jacintha to what could only be called a palace. It was nicer then all the other buildings in this place, Ciudad Muerta, and seemed to be leering down at us.

"And you said that this Helyan guy is inside? What is he to this place, anyways?" Renji scowled at Jacintha, who beamed and bounced up the steps.

"Sindervanch-sama is the savior of Ciudad Muerta! He took all of us- oops. I shouldn't tell you this... it's Sindervanch-sama's duty to!"

"Did you notice that?" Rukia whispered, not looking at me.

"Which, the fact that she was blushing like a school girl or that she didn't want to tell us anything?" I answered as she pushed open the doors, opening up to a large, dark hall. In front of us was a throne of sorts, the only decoration in the room, and doors lead out of the room. We all filed in, and Jacintha walked over to the throne, standing by the man sitting in it.

"Hello. I'm guessing that you're the hollows that has set the whole place into a tizzy." The man eyed us with a slight smirk on his face, and Shinji snorted, stepping up and again acting as spokesman, cocking his head at the hollow.

"Sure, you could say that. And who are you?"

"Oh, how rude of me. I am Helyan Sindervanch." He stood up and bowed, dark hair falling over his face. I could tell from the way everyone shifted that I wasn't the only person who had noticed that he had left out his rank.

Helyan was an arrancar, with messy black hair and blue eyes that I instantly hated. They were..._laughing_ at us, and the mask didn't really help either. It was an eerie smile like Jacintha's, only where her's was demonic looking, he looked more like revived spawn from the deep, mainly because it looked like his mouth had been sewed shut.

"Well, we are Shinji Hirako," he started, pointing at himself, and then gesturing to each person in turn, "Kurosaki Ichigo-"

"Wait a moment," Helyan said, sitting up straight and staring at us, "not only are those shinigami names, but _Kurosaki Ichigo?_ You mean to tell me that _you_ are the shinigami that broke into Las Noches with the help of a rag tag group of friends? No, there's no way!" Helyan started laughing, hand covering his face. "Just think, how wonderful is the irony here? But-but tell me," he said, laughter having mostly gone from his voice, "tell me what did the Gotei do when you all turned?" I scowled at him, not exactly liking how he knew so much about us...though practically any hollow that had managed to survive for two years probably knew both our names and faces as though they had been branded to the sky.

"They made us this way, and tried to kill us," I said quietly, and he looked at me, nodding, humor vanishing from him instantly... at least, most of it.

"I'm not surprised. They couldn't handle loosing their knight on the chess board, Kurosaki Ichigo. Really, how _marvelous_. But it _is_ just like those shinigami, to make a mess and clean it in the sloppiest manner possible. If you were hollows we would have just eaten you." He stood again, stepping down to our level, inspecting us in greater detail.

"You said that they turned only recently?" he asked, head turning towards Jacintha, who had been silent the entire time, eyes never leaving us. "How extraordinary. Not only were you able to defeat the espada as just shinigami, but you haven't even turned yet. Most vasto lordes can hardly keep themselves back." He was murmuring to himself, looking at us as if we were paintings he might want to buy.

"Turn?" Hitsugaiya asked, staring at Helyan. He looked up, as if realizing he wasn't alone, and smiled again.

I really hate that smile.

"Become an arrancar. You know first hand what both shinigami and hollow powers can give you, and I would have thought that you would be eager to try it."

"We have," Shinji stiffly said, anger flaring up. "_Considering_ that three of us were Vizards." Helyan stopped, smile turning cold, for just a moment, before he nodded, knowing the only look on his face.

"Oh yes, we can hardly forget about those watered down versions of arrancar. Tell me," he started in a louder voice, acting like he hadn't just insulted us, "are you really so completely satisfied with your lot in this life that you wish to _remain_ as you are? What strange creatures indeed..."

"What do you want with us? Why are we so important?" Ishida scowled at Sindervanch, towering over him, and yet for some reason Helyan didn't even see the need to stop cracking jokes. What was wrong with this dude?

"I was just thinking that if you would join us, my top group, it would be quite perfect."

"And why would we join you? Would we be your puppets?" Inoue frowned, eyes hard. I was pretty sure that if anyone else had spoke, they would have been at least screaming at him for asking such a ridiculous thing of us, after everything he had said. I would personally have been trying to rip his arms off, but that was just me.

"No no no, not in the slightest! You would be esteemed guests to our little party. But as I see that you are perfect within your existence, you will turn down my offer. I don't really mind, but know that if you _do_ wish to join, you're always welcome within Ciudad Muerta." He turned around, obviously dismissing us, but I stepped forward, anger at everything this guy had put us through getting the better of me, not that I was really trying to hold it back too much.

"What kind of crap are you pulling here? You call us out and then just make us leave! Tell me why all of this is happening, where are the hollows? This city is empty, unless you thought we wouldn't sense the lack of pressure!"

Helyan stopped, head turning towards us just enough to see his smile.

"Oh my. I didn't think that you would care so much. But...Let's just say," he said, and he looked truly demonic, "that they are out to lunch." Helyan continued walking, and I wanted to run up and take a chomp out of his shoulder, but Rukia's hand was placed firmly on my arm, making me turn and stalk away. Everyone else followed, and we had made it out of that awful city, were just barely striding past the gates, when Jacintha caught up to us. She placed a hand on mine, and I almost cut her head off, but stopped when I saw that it was just her. Weird, I didn't feel her presence...

"Kurosaki-san, please, take these." She held up an armful of clothing, and I saw that it was the arrancar uniform. "Just in case," was all she said, before running back into the empty city, disappearing from sight.

Rukia took the uniforms from my hands and stared at them.

"Well everybody, what are we going to do now?" Her voice had the tone of '_Take one guess...'_, and I gave voice to what everyone was feeling.

"Well, first off, we're going to become arrancar."

* * *

"Are you sure that we just..._have at it?_" Rukia was staring at my like I was more of a lunatic then I usually was, skepticism at this whole thing only too obvious. I felt the same in some ways, I did want to tear that mask off and be on my merry way, but at the same time I didn't want to, it felt too much like I was playing Helyan's puppet, doing exactly what he wanted.

"What, you think that you have a better idea? Just shut up and tear your mask off," Renji barked, more agitated then usual.

"Wait," Chad rumbled, looking at us. "When we become arrancar, won't we be naked?" I stopped short, not having thought about that particular detail.

"Ex_-actly!_" Rukia grumbled, throwing a pair of pants at me. "What are we going to do when we all take our masks off and we're staring at-"

"Alright, alright! Leamme alone about it!" Thank heavens that masks can't blush...

"If this is such a problem, why don't we split off into groups? Then we don't have to worry about it." Hitsugaiya looked at us flatly like we were all idiots and we more or less agreed, so that the girls were heading off a ways, clothes in hand, while the rest of us stayed put.

Once we were thoroughly separated, Shinji looked around at us, shrugging.

"Alright then, who's first?"

"I'll do it," said Chad, and we all took a slight step back, and he raised his hands up to the lip of his mask. I don't know what I had been expecting, one quick swipe and he'd be done, or if it just turned to dust and blew away, but it certainly wasn't this. The moment Chad started pulling at his mask, his entire body went stiff, concentrated on tearing that little baby off. It seemed like it didn't _want_ to come off, like the thing was tested him, to see if he was worthy of becoming an arrancar. Cracks were spreading across the bone covering, and a strange light was shining from it. Even though it was white, it wasn't bright or cheery. More like... tainted, muted and just plain _wrong_. Some strange sound like a scream was coming from him (or was it the mask?), kind of like muted screaming. It unnerved me, and at the same time made me excited, ready to fight, to kill, to_ eat._

But then the sound ended, and there he was, the guy who I had saved back in middle school, who stuck with me even through the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo and even after, panting from the exertion of becoming an arrancar. He blinked, shook his head, ran a hand through his still too-long hair. But it _wasn't_ Chad, not really. His mask was still there, just enough to cover his right eye with the bone version of a ram skull, large curved horn and everything. I hadn't noticed it at first, mostly because it was covered by his hair, but as he shifted his head I saw it, especially the horn, black and red just like his arm used to be. And there was the hole, neatly cut at the bottom of his ribcage. His zanpakuto lay beside him, dressed in a bright red scabard but for the most ordinary.

"Hey, Ichigo." He didn't say any more, giving me a slight nod. What would have at one point made me feel good and like a had a friend now made me...

Hungry.

I wanted to tear a piece out of him, because I knew that if I did I would become even stronger, that others would become weak from just _standing_ near me, that I could do anything. I now understood this strange, idiotic desire that all those adjuchas had had with us, why they insisted on running up and attacking, even though they were royally outclassed. There wasn't any thought of why I wanted to kill Chad, what he was, _used_ to be to me, if I would regret it later. None of that really surfaced, except the small notion that I knew that I _couldn't_ eat him. As eclipsed as the warning was by my hunger, I managed to hold out just long enough to gasp that I was going next. If I didn't I was going to go mad and eat everyone.

I tugged at my mask, expecting it to come off quickly, but it was practically glued on. I started to get angry, I had gone through everything without complaining, _everything,_ the sudden powers, the fatal battles, finally being let out only to have been dragged back in by the Soul Society, and then be turned into a freak. And now when I was trying to get this mask off, and the little thing wouldn't let me take it off.

That punk was going down.

I screamed, a sound that was muffled somehow, like my mouth had been filled with cotton balls. I couldn't see, everything was gone in that great wave of white. The air was gone, my ruined second life wasted on this final act, there was no hope-

It was off.

I stared at it, my strange, hated, beloved mask was off, broken in my hands. Not all of it was there though, a part of it was still clinging on, just barely covering the bridge of my nose and arching down to hide part of my cheek.

But that wasn't enough, I wanted it all gone, gone and leaving me whole and normal, not scarred and a monster. If I could just rip it off, then I could go home, go to sleep, forget about these last awful months. The only problem with my whole dream was that taking off your mask was like picking at a scab. You pull some off and you have that much less of an ugly reminder of how you weren't fast enough, or strong enough or smart enough to escape the injury. Yet if you pick at it too much then you cause a lot more damage then you had in the first place.

So instead I dropped it, closed my eyes and contained the impulse, and when I was 'fine', I opened them again. The first thing I saw were my hands. At first there they were, just fingers with some..._skin._ I was so amazed, I had _skin_. Instantly I stretched them, curling them, and then looked at my arms, shoulders, and then I caught sight of my feet and legs and I started laughing. I was _human_! I was normal, I didn't have to walk around as a beast anymore-

The hole. The one thing that could really ruin my excitement, other then a mirror. There it was, a, _my_ hollow hole. It wasn't really anything special, neat and about the size of my palm, placed right where my belly button used to be.

Somehow I managed a smile still, nothing could dampen my happiness for long. I reached out to my right, and left a zanpakuto laying in the sand, just like with Chad. But at the same time, it made me smile. There it was, my old friend Zangetsu in all its kitchen utensil glory. I had forgotten how much I liked that blade...

A hand was set on my shoulder and I saw Chad smiling at me, and I grinned back.

"Hey buddy. What's up?"

"I hate to ruin the reunion, but get some clothes on," Renji said, hitting me in the head with a uniform.

"How crude," Ishida chimed in, scoffing at me and swiping at his hair, a habit that he had fallen into with the absence of glasses. I grumbled and pulled the hakama on, and tugged on what was more jacket then shirt. I had a strong impression of Grimmjow, noting that I would have to wear it open for lack of fastenings, and vowing to myself that I would _never _pop the collar. The sleeves were short, thankfully, but the resemblance was still a little freaky.

Renji took his mask off next, left gasping and triumphant as he brushed his hair back, which had remained the same length. His tattoos were still there, and his mask curved around his right eye, mimicking his tattoo pattern and cut sharply back up his cheek. I scowled and rolled my eyes, (I could really show emotion now, not just imply it!), and kicked him in the shoulder.

"Come on, cave man, get some clothes on. No one wants to see you naked." He scowled back but it was tempered by how _happy_ he was. He was finished dressing by the time that Ishida had turned, and soon Shinji and Toshiro had joined the ranks of arrancar. I couldn't help but smile at all of them, this was all too amazing, who would have thought that we could _ever_ regain a semblance at being human?

"Well, I'm pretty sure that the girls have finished, there's only three of them," Shinji said, straightening his shirt, which strangely had striped sleeves. His mask was the same as when he was an arrancar, and covered the right half of his face down to his mouth.

"Then let's go," Toshiro sighed, half of his face grinning eerily as the other part scowled, mask altering his entire look. Ishida nodded and gently brushed his mask, which was, funnily enough, raised along the outline of a pair of glasses.

We made our way to the girls, who were also dressed and heading towards us.

"Kurosaki-kun!" As soon as we got close enough, I was barreled into by Inoue, who threw her arms around my neck. She squeezed the life out of me, and then moved on to Ishida, squealing his name as well, and so on, until she had hugged everyone.

"I never thought I would see you all again, not like this, and oh wow I'm just so... _happy_ that you're all...here..." She was holding back tears, and I kind of expected her to stop, but she kept going. "I really just... want to say that... I'm sorry, I really can't believe that I...was so_ awful._ I don't know... _why_ I was, just every thought I had...was about eating and getting more power... _I'm so sorry._" Finally Orihime did break down, and most of us were just let staring at her, shocked by this sudden display of... _emotion_. Was this right, for her to be able to feel joy, remorse and guilt? But then, hadn't I felt the same, the sheer happiness at being able to have more old body back, and the good natured joking with the guys right after turning. Weren't hollows supposed to be... _empty?_

"Orihime, don't worry about that, we all were like that." Rukia hugged her and reassured Inoue that we didn't hold it against her, that it was all water under the bridge. When she looked back up I saw that her mask covered one eye and expanded near the other one, like a white mask with flower like decorations.

But I couldn't shake her words. They were stuck in my mind, playing again and again and again. _I can't believe that I...was so awful, I don't know... why I was, just every thought I had...was about eating and getting more power... I'm so sorry._ Her words scared me, because they said what I hadn't even considered.

I had eaten hollows, savaged them, ripped them apart and let them lie, with only a bite or two taken out of them. How could I have been so _awful_, so sick and twisted that I carved them up without a second thought?

The shock of it sent me to my knees, eyes blank. I heard Toshiro exclaiming out, others speaking around me, yet I couldn't understand them.

"I...so mindlessly killed," I whispered, and Ishida froze, the only one who heard me. "So like the ones I... swore to hate and defeat." Everyone fell silent, my words the ones to shock this time. They all stopped, unable to keep themselves from succumbing to the horror of it all. The more hardened shinigami stayed upright, but they couldn't stop the shock and revulsion that filled them.

We all had gone along with the program, perfectly fine with destroying hollows, making them suffer, not only for food that we only took a bite of here and there, but for _entertainment_. What were we compared to Grimmjow and Nnoitra, or even Kenpachi, who did it all for _fun? _There was _nothing_ we could do to repent, to clean ourselves of this sin, nothing in the world. And we all knew it.

I was lost, and for the first time in weeks I heard Hichigo, talking in my head.

_**Oh no King, don't tell me that this little incident made you crack? How pathetic, you get the most power you possibly could, the most **_**_anyone could_, _and yet you break down and cry. Honestly, what good __are__ you? _**

There he was, snarling in my own little world, as I stayed kneeling on the ground. His words couldn't hurt me any more then what I had done to myself. But... why was he there? What could he possibly be now? Wasn't I just him, a hollow, a monster, a freak?

_**That's right, partner, I'm here one last time before I'm 'gone for good'. You won't be safe though, I promise you that. I'll still be there, standing on the inside, waiting as a part of you more complete then I've ever been before. The next time you freak, just wait. I'll be the one to freak for you, and I don't think that you'll get your body back.**_

Hichigo's words didn't make sense, hardly anything made sense right now, but they were trapped in my head, like so much was these days. If I could just escape it, be able to pull away and never come back... But I couldn't sit around and sulk. As a parting gift Hichigo tried to run me through, a last effort to kick off my crown. I jumped away, ready to retaliate, but as usual he was dissolving into nothing. Of course I was glad to see the back of him, but I had to wonder, when would I see him again? Because seeing Hichigo was much better then having him skulk around in the shadows. That way I could at least watch as he pulled the knife.

His mental assault was enough to pull me back together in the real world, so that I could straighten, take a few deep breaths, and then stand up. Rukia was sitting on the ground next to me, eyes closed as she tried to soothe her shattered morals. Ishida was taking shaky breaths and putting a brave face on things, but that wasn't exactly working.

"Come on," I said, tugging at Rukia's shoulder and taking hold of Ishida's arm. "If we sit around shell shocked then we're going to get eaten and this is all just useless. Come on, I said get up!" I kicked Shinji in the knee to get him going, and elbowed Renji for good measure. That got them sputtering, and I felt glad that we all weren't locked inside such a debilitating horror at the thought of letting ourselves be eaten away.

It wasn't like we were able to jump up and start walking away from this, and never have to worry about it again, but we weren't going to lay around and moan like a bunch of newbies either. There was just _no way_ I was going to let us do that. We could all find a corner to cry in later, but now we had to suck it up and hold it in.

After all, who ever heard of nine arrancar who suffered from becoming some of the most powerful hollows around?

Sure as heck wasn't going to be me.

_**AN Huh. Hichigo just HAD to jump in there, take the spot light for the last few seconds. It feels like there are so many millions of things in this chapter, even though it's not that horrendously long. I'm not quite sure if I did **_**good_ on all of it, as apposed to just getting it out there, so you'll all have to tell me. Yugh it was hard editing this, I usually don't stay up until Ohdark thirty, so please forgive me if I have any hideously obvious mistakes. Either way, here's the usual shameless ramble-wrap up: Reviews make my soul happy, and they also encourage me to update with some mega awesome-ness. SO ENCOURAGE THE MEGA AWESOME-NESS. You guys all know that you need it. XD_**


	5. Rewind

_**AN Hello again, here's another chapter of **_**Death is the Simplest Thing!_ Again, this is a transitional chapter that's trying to get me from one place to another, so forgive me if it sounds like an idiot wrote this. XD I can only say, that you guys are swamping me with love for this story, so thank you so much! I really enjoy reading your reviews and I'm pretty sure I respond to all of them, even if it's just saying 'oh wow that was cool!' Really, it all means so much. Now, without further ado, onto the story!_**

Being an arrancar wasn't the easiest thing to adjust to. We weren't discombobulated by our size like we had been after the shift from adjuchas to vasto lordes, it was the massive power change thtat we couldn't really get a hold on. More than ever I understood what the others had meant about my reiatsu pouring off of me, it was almost like I could see it in the air, a billowing mass that looked like a huge bon fire in the night of Hueco Mundo. I had gotten a lot better at holding it back, crushing it down inside of me and keeping a lock on it so it wasn't a flare to everyone around us, but I couldn't keep a hold on it forever.

Another thing that was strange were the sudden flashes of emotion. Sometimes we would be resting, and somebody, Shinji or Renji would make a comment that would send me into laughter, something that we'd all pick up on, until we were all cackling like we were insane. And other times, something would happen, nothing big, maybe someone didn't move fast enough, or they hit me just so, and I'd suddenly be furious, about ready to rip their arms off. I knew this wasn't any where near normal hollow behavior, hollows were supposed to be just that-_empty_. Not feeling anything, but I guess we were the major exception to the rule. All of us suffered from these mood swings, but we rarely commented on it.

It was kind of like being a teenager, all over again, only much, much worse.

We also had to figure out what all of our powers were, because it wasn't the nicest thing to be walking along, and suddenly you fry someone with an amazing technique you never knew you had. I'd experienced that kind of thing before, and it was far from pleasant. So we made an effort to figure them out, taking time to go off by ourselves, not far enough to lose the rest of the group, but not near enough to allow each other to sense what we were doing.

One thing that really caught me by surprise, was when we were all talking, a little after having changed. Turning into arrancar left us feeling drained, so we couldn't start any serious traveling. So we parked it under some dead trees, relaxing like we hadn't let ourselves in who knew how long. We were all talking about our new powers, what it was like for each of us, and we couldn't stop saying how _happy _we all felt. Of course we had sudden spikes of terror at what we had done, but it wasn't a full blown attack as it had been at first.

"Say... Ichigo, what did you chose?"

"What?" Ishida was looking at me, and I realized that I hadn't been clicked in for a moment, instead taking the time to just look at everyone. Our uniforms weren't anything too special, pretty much the same for the most, though there were little things here and there, like Chad having just a vest, or Hitsugaiya's top looking a little like his captain's haori.

"What did you chose? When you became an arrancar? You know, strength or regeneration?"

I paused, remembering how Ulquiorra had boasted about taking high-speed regeneration over advanced strength.

"I...don't know."

"You have to know, you were confronted with the choice, someone was practically asking you about it." I stared at Ishida, wondering what he was talking about. He caught my look and returned it, and I felt a little worried.

"Didn't... didn't you make the decision? I mean, you _were_ asked, right?"

"No, I was concentrating on taking my mask off. I didn't sense _anything_ about choices."

"Then why would I? What would..."

"I think that it has to do with reiatsu sensor," Toshiro broke in from his perch in a tree. "You formerly being a Quincy probably helps. You always boasted about how you were able to pick up reiatsu relatively easy, right?"

"Of course, it's a must for a Quincy."

"Then I think that you were able to sense what the mask was saying."

"_Saying?_ Is that even possible?" Rukia frowned at the ex-captain, and he shrugged.

"I don't know. It's a theory. I was able to pick up the feeling as well, though I don't know about the rest of you." Shinji, Hiyori and Rukia all said that they had had a strong feeling of the question, and Inoue, Chad and Renji all said that they had gotten a general feeling, but I was the only one that hadn't felt anything at all.

"Well, that settles it then," Renji said, leaning back beside Rukia, "you just suck at this sort of thing. Good job, Ichigo."

I scowled at him, and thought about it.

No, I really hadn't felt anything when changing, but now that I thought about it... I did have to make a choice. What would it be, which one would I chose? Even more strength, or regeneration?

Ishida moved on, asking Rukia what she had picked, and just as she started to open her mouth I spoke.

"Regeneration."

"What?" They all stared at me, and I looked Ishida dead in the eye.

"I chose high-speed regeneration." And just like that, it fit, as though a lost puzzle piece had been found and fit into place. This was what I wanted, and I knew that if I ever lost a limb (heaven knew that I had had problems with that), that another would sprout in the same way that it had for Ulquiorra. In fact, it was _because_ of him that I picked it. More strength was fine and all, but it was infinitely more devilish to fight against (and infinitely more useful) to pick regeneration. I knew first hand.

And, though I would never say it to anyone there, or anyone at all, choosing high-speed regeneration was a mark for Ulquiorra, of sorts. As though I was telling him, even after death, that I could never forget that he had been what could have been called my ultimate enemy. It hadn't been quite the same for anyone else, not Kenpachi, not Grimmjow, not even Aizen, they were just guys with a chip on their shoulder, or someone that I had been told that I was supposed to fight. But really, it all boiled down to Ulquiorra. He had been the one to commit the worst acts.

I could tell that Inoue and Ishida were remembering on top of Las Noches from the way their faces darkened and they looked down, all three of us giving a short, private moment of silence.

The others, completely oblivious to what had just passed, went on, saying that for the most they had picked strength. Only Rukia and Hitsugaiya went along with my choice.

But after a while, we got kind of bored. There wasn't much to do, arrancar could easily survive by absorb the reishi in the air, we had no desire to start fighting with some random batch of hollows, and there wasn't anything really to explore. Sure we could go and find the hang out spots for menos, or some amazing under ground cave that held magic crystals, but that wasn't exactly interesting. So we had to turn in our pride and go back to Cuidad Muerta, or else we'd have died from sheer boredom.

The first thing I noticed when we started past the winged gates, was the feel of...movement. Like there was something behind the walls that was busy, moving around, never stopping. When I mentioned it to the others they only nodded, a few hands straying to their zanpaktos.

We were walking between the tall buildings, and the hollows were _everywhere._ Not hanging about in the streets, exactly, more like just at the edge of our vision, running into this alley, or ducking into that doorway.

"What do you think they will do when they find us here?" Toshiro asked, and I shrugged. There wasn't a question as to who 'they' were, obviously it was Helyan and Jacintha. The other hollows didn't really matter, we could see what they were doing.

"Say something stupid and irritating, who knows."

Just as we reached the doors to the hall in the center of the city (which wasn't really hard to find. Straight shot from the gates to there), Jacintha was pushing open the doors. Even though I wasn't quite close enough to get a good look at her face, I could she was ready for a fight.

"Oh!" she cried when she saw us, which was weird. It would be kind of hard to miss a giant mass of reishi, just pooling at your feet. "Kurosaki-sama!"

I ignored the grumbles of 'Kurosaki_-sama?'_, and nodded at her.

"Hey. Where's Helyan?"

"You've changed! She said you would, but I didn't think...The uniforms all fit, right?" The kid looked at us, and I glanced around. I supposed that it all fit okay, no one had said anything otherwise. Inoue smiled and nodded, tugging at her sleeves. Her outfit was a lot like her outfit in Las Noches, except with larger sleeves and a deeper neckline, enough to show the top of her hollow hole. Hiyori rolled her eyes, grumbling something like 'Yeah, tell the baldy they fit so we can get to business!', and I guessed that she liked it, though it was more like a tube top and a jacket with the usual hakama, not at all like the track suit she'd had back in Karakura.

"Okay, that's good, I wasn't sure at first..."

"Jacintha," I started, almost glaring at her, "_where's_ Helyan?"

"Oh, uhm, Sindervanch-sama is...uh...away on business." She didn't look at any of us when she said this, and I leaped up the steps to her.

"Where," I repeated, "Is he?"

"I-I don't know!" she gasped, starting to pant and look away. Her face was mildly contorted for a moment, before she took a breath and looked tentatively at me. "Kurosaki-sama, I _don't know._" I pulled back, alarmed, and slowly nodded.

"...Right. Okay, so, guys," I started, looking back at the others, "what do you say we crash here until he comes back?"

"Yeah, okay, I wouldn't mind getting to stay some where other than the desert." Renji nodded, and started up the steps after us.

"Jacintha, can you show us where we would stay?" Jacintha beamed and nodded, taking my hand and bouncing into the hall. She was a lot stronger then she looked, and practically dragged me across the dark room, into a side corridor. The others were following behind at a slower and less excited rate, so when Jacintha and I reached the door that was supposed to hold some of us, we had to wait for them to catch up.

"Kurosaki-sama, I'm so glad that you came back! I wasn't sure, you seemed really angry at Sindervanch-sama, and that wouldn't have been good. You'd have the entire..." She trailed off as everyone else came up, and again I wondered what on earth was going on behind that girl's mask.

"This is the girl's rooms," she started, pointing at the door. Inoue, Rukia and Hiyori nodded and shrugged, opening the door. They waved at us, and went inside. A few doors down she showed us where at least two of us would sleep, and it was decided that Ishida, Toshiro and Renji would share it. I could only _imagine_ what chaos would happen with Ishida and Reinji locked in one room. While we had been imprisoned, everyone had shared stories that hadn't been passed on before. We had all heard how they had been forced to fight Syzael, the octava espada, and how they weren't exactly the greatest fighting partners. Toshiro would probably keep them in line though, I'd heard that he'd practically been the babysitter of the Gotei.

Jacintha left me, Chad and Shinji the last room which was mostly empty, except for a couch and a nightstand. Once we were inside we hung out, not really having much to do. Helyan wasn't there so we couldn't demand answers from him, but there was one thing that was nagging at me.

"Hey...Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you...been able to get a good look at Jacintha?"

"The kid? Sure, I guess."

"No," I said, shaking my head, "I mean, have you really _looked_ at her? Like her face when she was talking?"

"Uhm... no. Why?" He looked at me, head leaned back a little.

"Because...because when I asked her about Helyan-"

"And you looked like you were going to beat her if you didn't get an answer. Geez, I thought you were going to try and crush her with your reiatsu."

"-she looked like she was... a Vizard."

"What?" Shinji straightened from his lazy perch against the wall, suddenly serious.

"When she looked away from me, I could have sworn, it looked so much like-"

"Like what, Ichigo?" Chad was watching me, and I shook my head.

"I don't know, it looked like we do-did-when we're fighting our inner hollow."

"You mean insane and like a monster from a horror film?"

"No, not _that _way," I growled, rolling my eyes. "Like when they're trying to take over, and we have to fight them in our heads, and can't let anyone know what we're doing. _That_ kind of fight."

"But...it's not possible. First of all, Jacintha is a hollow already, what would she be fighting on the inside?"

"I don't know, maybe it got reversed, like the hollow is fighting the inner shinigami."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

"Then who was she talking about when she asked about our uniforms fitting? Jacintha definitely said 'she'."

"Oh for cryin' out loud Ichigo, I'm sure there are _hundreds_ of 'she's in this place alone. The kid could have been talking about anyone." I scowled and looked away, irritated that he didn't see the connections I did. He'd been a Vizard who _knew_ how much longer than me, so why didn't he see the obvious?

I don't know how long we stayed in Ciudad Muerta, time was completely skewed here, I couldn't keep track of time for anything, but it was long enough for it to be obvious that Helyan wasn't just out for a stroll. We all met back up in the girl's room, taking our various positions as we talked.

"So, when this Sindervanch guy comes back, what are we supposed to do?" Hiyori demanded, snarling at me. "I ain't gonna sit around, twiddling my thumbs."

"I don't know, why don't you come up with the ideas for once," I grumbled from under my arm, which I had thrown over my face after I laid down. Hiyori growled something unintelligible at me, and I ignored her. I could feel Rukia picking at her uniform beside me. It was a streamline thing, pretty much just a snug vest with a wide stiff collar and some arm warmer thing that started past her shoulders. Everything was quiet for a few moments, before Inoue cleared her throat softly.

"Uhm...Kurosaki-kun?"

"Mm, yeah?"

"Do you... do you think...I mean, is there anything that you want us to do?" I sighed, shaking my head.

"I got nothin'. My ideas are clean _out._"

"Oh...then... could we possibly, I mean..."

"What are you trying to say, Inoue," Ishida asked, not unkindly.

"Nothing really, just...do you think that maybe... we could go back to Karakura?" She asked it softly, and I sat up, watching her.

"Go back to Karakura?" Inoue avoided my gaze, probably would have blushed if she were human, and played with her hands.

"We don't have to, it's a stupid idea anyways, there's always something else..."

"No... I get what you mean." Once she had offered up the idea, it stuck.

Of course it was a stupid idea, we were permanently blacklisted, not like Urahara, Yoruichi and the Vizards, but something that _everyone_ hated. Hadn't Ukitake told us that we had been made out to be brave people who had become monsters? If we went back out of Hueco Mundo, then we were opening ourselves up for a whole other bag of problems. And yet...

And yet the appeal was strong. Why not go to Karakura, take in the memories one last time? Visit friendly places, see friends and family...

Family.

How long had it been since I had thought of anyone outside of our little group, of Karin and Yuzu and Mom and Dad? Or what about my other friends, Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuiro? Couldn't we go one last time? We'd have to be careful, have to take infinite precautions, but this was it! We could go while we had nothing left to lose or gain!

"Really?" Orihime asked, finally looked up. "Do you really mean we can-"

"Yeah, Inoue. I mean we can really go home."

For a time, at least.

_**AN Hm. You know, I'm pretty sure that making split second decisions aren't the wisest for these people. Even when they think things through it's still really really stupid! XD But ah, oh gosh, I can't wait until they get to Karakura! There's so much promise, what might happen? I bet you all can't wait to find out! **_

_**As always, please review! They fill the hollow that death has made in this story! (haha, oh i'm oh so clever with my play on words)  
**_


	6. Start the Fairytales

**_AN I DID IT! I MANAGED TO UPDATE AFTER A DAY OF HARD CORE TYPING! I am so impressed with myself you will not even _believe. _It's been what, a month? Ah, either way, here is an uber long chapter, so ENJOY IT. 3 And, as usual, I am in awe of the love you throw at me, even when this thing hasn't been _thought_ about for a month. You guys are down right awesome. So now, please enjoy this _Death is the Simplest**** Thing****_Halloween_****_ update!__  
_**

"Kurosaki."

"What?"

"Cross your fingers."

I sighed before grinning at Rukia. We were on the edge of Karakura, and everyone was holding their breath.

Once we had all agreed on the idea to return to Karakura, it had just been a matter of sorting out all the details. We went to Jacintha, who, surprisingly enough, was talking with Helyan.

"Hello there, I'd heard that you had really come back." He smiled at me, and I wanted to pop his head off. It sounded like I was his puppy.

"Yeah, obviously we did. Now, we-"

"What, no hellos? Or what about your story? I can see that you four are arrancar already, what about the others?" Renji, Ishida and Shinji had come with me to speak to Jacintha, the others staying behind to either get some more information on the whole place, or 'find' what equipment they could.

"No, I'm not here to play friends around the camp fire. I want to know what it would take for you to give me a lot of kido based products."

Both Helyan and Jacintha stared at me, before Helyan started laughing.

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun, you truly _are _amusing_._ You expect me to just _give_ you technology that has been developed for _decades,_ when I don't even know you? Without any schmoozing first?"

"Look, I don't have time or the personality to schmooze. Either you give us what we want, or I-"

"What he means," Ishida cut in hastily, casting me a sideways glare, "is that we would like to get what we need quickly without too much hassle. We're working on a tight schedule, and it would hardly be ideal if we miss our window of opportunity." Of course, this was complete and utter bull. We didn't have any time frame around getting to Karakura other then getting there _fast,_ but I kind of doubt that Sindervanch would give us a drop of the kido we needed if we just said we wanted it for kicks and giggles.

"I see..." Helyan said, leaning back. We waited in the hall we had found them in, everyone silent. He considered us, the stitched up mask making his face eerie. "Jacintha, tell me, how much time did it take for Gil and Gonzalo to come to us for a request?"

"Uhm...not very long, Sindervanch-sama. It was in the first few-"

"_Look, _this might not seem important to _you_, but would you mind talking to us? We're the ones who came to you." Renji scowled at the pair, jerking them back out of their conversation. I shared his irritation, but I had to admit, it was kind of awesome not being the one who gets the blame for saying _all_ the stupid things.

"Oh, right, please forgive me Abarai-san. Kurosaki-kun-"

"Kurosaki."

"-you asked what it took to let you to get...just what exactly?" I sighed, feeling the time slip through our fingers. Every moment that passed was a moment I wasn't where I wanted-_needed_-to be, and it made me more and more agitated.

"I just want enough equipment to be able to get all nine of us to Karakura Town with out having captains swarming our heads." Sindervanch stared at us, eyes wide, finally we had surprised him, and he started laughing again.

"_Just_ enough to get you all to Karakura. Really, you make such things seem so frivolous!"

"Alright," Shinji said, folding his arms, "tell us just how much it would take for us to be able to get in under the radar."

"_Just_ some of the most valuable objects we hold in Cuidad Muerta. You are asking for something to utterly conceal your spiritual pressure, which the Research and Development squad has undoubtedly marked down on their scanners, but also for it to last long enough for you to do what again?"

"I don't really think you need to know that," Shinji said, raising an eyebrow.

"Right, to go on some unknown mission. Do you know the cost of that?"

"Name it," I said instantly, willing to do _anything_ to be able to see my family again. Almost.

"Name my price, just like that? You really are rash."

"Do you want this offer or not?"

"No no no, don't take it the wrong way, we're all just friends here." Ha, and I was a unicorn named Phoebe. "It's only that, for you to get what you're asking for, you have to become my personal trainers."

"What?" Renji stared at the man, face utter disbelief. "You want _us_ to teach _you."_

"No, not _me,_ I mean, you'll be under my control; I dispense you to whoever I want whenever I see fit."

I glanced at the others, Ishida's serious and reluctant face, Renji's scowling one, and Shinji's considerate if a little hesitant. We all knew we didn't really have a choice in any of this. Of course we'd give him the answer he wanted.

"Alright. We'll do it."

"And that'll be _all_ of you, not just you four." Helyan's face held a small smirk as he saw that we hadn't considered this. Crap. It was fine for the four of us, but this little deal meant dragging the girls, Chad and Hitsugaiya in as well. I kind of doubted they'd be exactly happy about that.

"Fine. Just get us what we need first, and then we'll be your training lackeys."

"Perfect. Jacintha, go to Ambala, tell her that we need caps, manta de sombra, and...other accessories for our new found members here."

"Yes, Sindervanch-sama! I'll make sure that they're all ready as soon as possible!"

"Good," he said as she dashed off, eyeing us. "The sooner they help us the better."

After that we had gone back to the rest of the group, and explained the situation to them (which involved yelling, kicking and even a little furniture throwing on Hiyori's part). Pretty soon Jacintha had shown back up, calling us away to their research labs.

Upon entering I tensed, closing my eyes and forcing myself to breathe deep to keep from bolting. It wasn't fun, walking back into that sterile, white room that stank of cleaner. It was a different place, a different world, and yet it was the exact same. Ishida's hands spasmed before being clenched into tight fists at his sides, while Rukia flinched and Renji bared his teeth. Everything we had managed to forget in the chaos of becoming hollows was coming back, someone whispering in our heads a story that could never be forgotten.

The chemicals injected in us. The numerous tests, horrors that made reality and fantasy blur into some twilight nightmare where everyone was trying to kill you, so you had to make sure to kill them first. Even if they were your friend.

And worst of all, dragging yourself home at night, toxins searing your veins, lingering insanity confusing every move you made, until you couldn't recognize the friends that you saw, the people you were trapped with day after day.

"It's okay Orihime," I heard Inoue mutter under her breath, eyes wide and fixed on the floor. "It's alright, nothing bad is going to happen, you'll make it through this...It's okay Orihime..." Squeezing my eyes shut at her chant, something a child would say to themselves if they were in a bad dream, I tried to pull back that rough, cocky attitude from earlier. This was just a...lab, right? Nothing wrong with it, I could say the word in my head without it burning me...

"Hello, you must be the arrancar that Jacintha has been telling me so much about." A warm female voice greeted us among the numerous shelves. I looked around to see an unusually tall, thin woman with coffee colored skin and red hair. Her mask was like a hair clip, except instead of just being at the top of her head, it extended around her hair and down her neck. We all watched her, wondering what her roll in all of this was.

"Ah, right. I am Ambala, the head of research here in Ciudad Muerta. Welcome to my home."

A few hours later, there we were, standing in the sky above our old home, Karakura Town.

"Are you sure you want to do this," Hitsugaiya asked, staring down at the city. His face was largely covered by a large hood, which pooled out around his head, almost completely hiding the mask.

"Yes, I'm positive, so quit asking!" My words were harsher than I wanted them to be, but my nerves were jangling so hard inside me that it was difficult to keep from shouting.

"Alright, we all know what we're doing and where we're gonna be?" Shinji glanced at all of us, hood hiding his face as well. We were all wearing the same cloaks over our normal uniforms, large and white with black trimming, called manta de sombra. They were supposed to hide us from unwanted eyes, and change what we looked like to boot. Other little doohickeys that Ambala had kitted us out with were the reishi caps, small white things like flat bottle caps that stuck to the back of our necks. They prevented us from lighting the place up like a bonfire and reducing our power to one half, at most. Of course had other reishi suppressors, it was stupid to think that with one cap we'd be done, so that there was hardly a peep from us. I personally had a cap, a necklace and a head scarf all cutting down my power, along with me holding on tight to it.

The scarf was wrapped around part of my face, hiding the mask. I couldn't get away with having just the hood like most of the others, because I was going to see people. This way my family would have a lot harder a time in figuring out just what had happened to me.

Inoue had one just like mine, only covering her other eye. No one else was intending to see anyone, just revisit familiar places. Ishida said that his father would probably shoot him on sight for being such a disgrace by having been caught by the Gotei 13, hollow or no. Chad's family was dead, and the other Vizards were probably underground somewhere, waiting out the threat. No one else had family or friends that they could possibly see, so they contented themselves to sight seeing.

"Yes, we all know! Can we just get on with it?" Hiyori growled, crouching in mid air.

"Sure sure, just real quick-one quick burst of spiritual pressure means you're hurt, and, of course, a large blast means you're fighting someone, so the rest better hightail it out." As Shinji covered the signals, we all somehow neglected to mention that we would not go back for each other if the shinigami came. Going back meant fighting them, probably decimating part of the town, which was _not_ something we wanted done. If we got caught, we all knew we were on our own.

"Right, well, see ya," I said, dropping into a dive. As I fell, I was reminded irresistibly of my first fight with Grimmjow, and how he had rocketed from the sky the same way I was now. Only my destination was a house, not some punk who looked like a fun challenge.

I slowed, turning so my feet went first. Landing lightly I broke into a run, feeling nostalgia's first attack as I walked the streets. Shunpoing to my house would probably increase the flow coming from me, and that was a problem that I didn't need added to my list, so instead I went the mundane way, remembering mornings before school, fireworks during the summer, lighting up the sky. Like I was ever going to see that again.

Finally I reached my house, pausing before it. The words, _'Kurosaki Clinic'_ were still up on the front wall in blue, and I could see the potted plants that Yuzu had insisted on planting the year before. Before I reached the door I adjusted the cloak I was wearing, allowing it to turn my uniform into a replica of a shinigami's. The cloaks were rather ingenious-Ambala had told us that all we needed to do was key in our reiatsu and decide what our clothes looked like from there. So long as we wore the cloak over it, people would see whatever we wanted them to see. I checked my supposed eye patch, took a steadying breath, and opened the door.

The hall was empty, and I was a little surprised to see that it was all the same. The table was in the same spot, shoes piled in the same haphazard way. Not a thing had changed, except-

My breath caught as I looked at the back wall of the dining room, sagging a little. There was Mom, waving in the large poster as ever, and right beside her was me.

I had my own poster.

I was grinning, hand thrown up towards the viewer. '_Ichigo_' was written under me, and for a moment all I could do was stare at it. I wasn't quite sure how to take this-of course Mom had a poster, that was just how crazy Dad was about her, but... I got one too?

"Hey buddy," I whispered as I got closer, hand raised to touch my shoulder, but not quite making it. "How's it been? Looks like you're better off than me, and you're just paper. Heh, what I wouldn't give to be you." My grin seemed to say '_Yeah, I know, suck it up!_', and I rolled my eyes, turning back to Mom.

"How are you doing, Mom? Long time no see, eh?" This time my hand met hers, fingers splayed over her own. "Is Dad alright, have you been watching over them all? You wouldn't have guessed it, but I kind of miss you guys."

A thump over head made me start, hand flying to the familiar handle over my shoulder. Oh, right. People actually live here, no need to pull out the sword and chop them up. Somehow, turning my family into sushi didn't seem like a good greeting.

Quietly I went up the stairs, sensing that only the girls were home. Instead of freaking them out by randomly showing up in their doorway, I stopped off in my room. It was the same, and it was clean. That got me a little bit, the thought of Yuzu coming in to clean everyday, even though I wasn't around.

I stopped by my bed, glancing out the window. I met Rukia there. I became a shinigami right outside that window. Inoue healed me before going to Las Noches. So many things had happened here. Would there ever be more?

Pulling off Zangetsu, I laid it on the bed, sitting down. It was hard, taking everything in, and for a moment, a stupid, wonderful moment, I could forget everything. It had never happened, I was a shinigami still, I would be out to slay hollows in a few hours. Everything was still fine.

But then I felt the shift of the fabric over my mask, sensed just barely the reishi of Inoue and Shinji, and everybody, and opened my eyes, as if waking up. And like it was all a dream, everything was gone.

My eye was caught by a calendar over my desk. That hadn't been there before...

I went over and checked it out of habit, just glancing at the page before stopping dead. November calendar said it was November fourteenth. That meant...That meant I had been away for almost six months. Six months? Six months! That much time had been stolen from me? I knew I had been in the Soul Society for about a month and a half, but could so much time have passed in Hueco Mundo, when the nine of us had just been wandering? Time had been fuzzy there, but that much...

Frantically I flipped through the pages, back to May. Again, I was forced to stop, but this time by small words written in black pen on the twentieth.

_Ichi-nii died today._

I flipped forward to December, and felt as if the floor had vanished. More words in the same hand-Yuzu's?-were written on the twentieth of this month too.

_Ichi-nii's half-year mark._

No...oh no, this couldn't be right... I had accepted that I was dead a while back, four months if this packet of papers was to be believed, but this made it all crash home.

I was interrupted by pounding feet, starting up and the suddenly going quiet. I whipped around, and stared at the person in my doorway.

"I..._Ichi-nii!"_ Yuzu crashed into me, tackling my stomach and knocking me back on the bed. I sat up, staring at her. Her hair was longer, to her shoulders, and was pulled into dual pigtails. SHe stilll wore the strawberry hair clips, and the sudden thought hit me-what if she was wearing them like Inoue wore her's for her own brother, Sora?

"_I knew I felt you! I-I-Ichigo, I've missed you so much!_" I patted her head awkwardly, holding her as she buried her head in my chest, holding my breath as she came dangerously close to my hollow hole. "Why-why are you here? I thought...aren't you...dead?" She said the last word so quietly, as if even thinking it would make me vanish.

"Don't kid yourself Yuzu, of course he is." I snapped my head up at this new voice, feeling two parts joy and one part misery at the sound of the words.

Karin stood in the same place as Yuzu, leaning against the frame as she scowled at me with folded arms. Her hair had grown too, she was wearing it in a ponytail and her bangs framed her face. Her expression was a mask of irritation and what could possibly be hate.

"K-Karin, wh-"

"He's dead and will _never_ come back, alright?" She looked sternly at her twin for a moment before glaring at me. "He died and left us all alone." I heard her voice break, and stood up, gently moving Yuzu to the side.

"Karin," I said, taking a few steps forward and opening my arms. "Don't be stupid."

She hesitated for a moment before she turned, glaring at the wall.

"Karin," I repeated.

"You _idiot,_" she snarled, and I could feel the hurt flowing off of her. "Why did you have to die such a lame death? Why did you think that it was okay to just _leave us?_" I shook my head, a sad smile on my face.

"Karin, you can't possibly think that I meant to leave you alone. You know that."

"No I don't!" she yelled, closing her eyes tight. "I don't know anything about you! The old you wouldn't have left!"

"I can't control everything, you know that." I waited, seeing her sag a little. "Now come on and tell me how much you've missed me." Karin hesitated, turning her head towards me, before grabbing me into a bear hug. I held her as my shirt slowly became wet as she pressed her face into my stomach. I laughed a little, knowing that I didn't have the right to feel happy just now. Karin let me go and scrubbed at her eyes, and I crouched down to her. She'd gotten bigger, and I knew that she wouldn't allow me to do this again, but I set my hand on her head, ruffling her hair.

"It's good to see you, pig headed and grudge filled as you are." She looked away, embarrassed, and I laughed again as she flung her arms around my neck. It was so _good_ to be back here, to be able to finally see their faces again. Yuzu jumped into the group hug as well, and as they embraced me I truly felt like the traitor I was.

"Ichigo, what's happened? Why have you taken so long to come back?" Yuzu was tugging at my shoulder, and I stood back up, moving over to the bed. I sat down, Yuzu on my knee and Karin holding onto my arm.

"Yeah, what's the hold up?" Karin demanded, her composure fully regained.

"Okay, okay, I guess I deserve the inquisition. See, when I...when I went to Soul Society...wait, you don't know what that is, do you?"

"Yeah we do, you've been hiding so much from us!" Yuzu frowned at me, and I felt my stomach drop. They... _knew _about the Soul Society? "See, a messenger from there came to Dad and explained everything! Why you were so tired all the time, where the wounds came from, where you went that summer, everything!"

"Oh."

"Yeah, your cover is officially blown," Karin said dryly, probably remembering the time she had cornered me right here, telling me that she knew I was a shinigami.

"Wait, a _messenger?_ Just came to Dad? He can't see shinigami!"

"What are you talking about Ichigo?" Yuzu stared at me, brows furrowed. "Of course he can, he used to be a captain!"

And that was went my world was thrown off its hinges.

"_What?"_ Dad. My dad, Kurosaki Isshin, a _captain._ It was totally insane! Impossible! Unbelievable. Unlikely...not that improbable...pretty reasonable. It explained _everything._ Why I could, we all could, see ghosts, why I had such a massive spiritual pressure, why any of this had happened.

"You...didn't know?"

"Of course I didn't! Dad... jeez. And I thought that _I_ had a secret."

"I know," Karin said, rolling her eyes. "I could hardly speak to him for a week after we found out."

"...Right. So...you know everything. At least this makes it a whole lot easier for me," I started, thinking fast. If they knew everything, then I highly doubt they would have just jumped on me like that. And I was wearing shinigami's robes, or at least appeared to be, so that would reinforce the whole thing. But if Dad was a captain, wouldn't he be able to tell if I was a shinigami or hollow? Or if the messenger was really there to explain what had happened with me and the rest of my friends? No, he would have told Karin and Yuzu, his beloved daughters what had really happened to their older brother.

Now that I thought of it, I wasn't in a gigai. I knew Karin would be able to see me, but Yuzu as well? That meant her spiritual powers had grown while I was gone.

_Things change, remember that!_

"So...after I went to the Soul Society, I was immediately placed in the Academy, you know about that right?, and was kind of fast tracked. Now I don't have to go through the four year minimum like everyone else, I only have a year."

"A year," Karin asked skeptically. "Really?"

"Well, yeah," I said, defensive even though it was a lie. "I already learned most of the stuff they teach there-releasing your shikai, shunpo, sensing reishi, stuff like that. I only have to cover the high levels of some stuff, and...kido."

"Kido?"

"Yeah. I kinda suck at it. It's pretty awful, this one time I was trying to make a small blast from my palm, and, ha ha...well, let's just say that it was a mess and the instructor has hated me since."

_What on earth are you saying Ichigo? It's a lie! A LIE! Don't get in so deep!_

"So other than the Academy stuff, what do you do?" Yuzu looked up at me, fixated with my story. Because it was just that-a story. Not that she'd ever know that.

"I'm still kind of a special case. They let me run around with the squads to train and stuff, but I'm not _really_ a shinigami yet. Gets me a lotta crap from the others. Being a substitute, especially a dead one, doesn't mean a- mean a thing," I said, catching myself.

"You mean you've been playing fantasy school all this time and haven't even bothered to come see us?" Karin looked pretty pissed, and I raised my hands.

"No way, I've still been laying into some hollows. Nothing like the arrancar, but enough to keep me entertained." Well, that bit was _kind of_ true...

"So...what happened to your eye?" Yuzu's voice had gone quiet again, her hand already reaching towards the eye patch-scarf thing before I knew what she was doing. Instinctively I moved, hand smacking to her's and holding it in my fist before she could to much more then tug on the edge. That had been _waaaay_ too close.

She stared, wide eyed, pulling her hand back.

"I'm so sorry Ichigo, that was awful for me to do without asking! I bet you're really uncomfortable with people seeing it, I'm sorry." She looked down, holding her probably bruised hand to her chest. I cursed myself for how I had reacted. I had moved too fast for a shinigami, but hopefully they didn't know that. Most of all though, I had hurt Yuzu.

"No, it's my fault I didn't tell you. It's just...I was in a fight with a hollow and it got me, broke me up pretty good. It's claws tore up that part of my face. I don't really want you to see it." Picking up Yuzu's hand, it wasn't hard to see the ugly colors already starting to form. This whole thing had been stupid, who knew how much I'd hurt them by coming here. Lying to them, injuring them, it was stupid and I needed to leave.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay Ich-nii, I'm alright! It doesn't hurt a bit!" Right after she said this, she winced at me poking her gently on the back of the hand.

"That is the biggest load of lies I've heard in a long long time," I said, neglecting to mention that most of them had come from my mouth.

"No, just go on, tell us about everything!"

"Nnn...yeah, where's Dad?" I asked, turning my head as if to see him pop out of the wall.

"Hm, Papa Goat? He should be coming back from the store any time now..." Karin trailed off as I suddenly felt him, almost at the door. Out of instinct I shut off all my reiatsu, afraid of what might happen if he felt me.

I stood up, moving to the door. I had to see him. The urge was sudden, unexplainable, but I just _had_ to see my father.

"Ichi-nii, come on, Dad will want to see you!" Yuzu was tugging my hand, she must have felt him too, herding me down the steps, but I was still scared. Scared enough to pull my hand out of her's at Dad's voice.

"Hello? Girl's, I'm home! _Hellllo?_ Karin, Yuzu where are you?" The sound of something dropping and quick footsteps sounded in the hall, before I saw my father, looking flustered. He stopped dead and we stared at each other, surprise on both of our faces. He hadn't changed, I noticed.

I had.

"Hey Dad," I managed to get out, voice weak. He kept staring, before moving towards me, fast. First thing did was throw up a block, he was probably going to try and drop me, but he did something I completely did not expect.

He didn't hit me. Instead, my dad was hugged me tightly, holding me to him.

"_Ichigo,_" he whispered in my ear, "_oh Ichigo I thought you were dead!_" I was still too shocked to speak, to say that of course I was dead, they had already had the burial, but this was too good to mess up.

He held me at arms length, sighing a little as he examined my face. Dad studied the scarf, knowing what should have been under it, and not asking what had happened.

"Son...it's been a long time."

I only grinned in response, and he a moment later he gave me a good left hook to the face. I bent away from the blow from sheer habit, not really feeling it but remembering what it felt like.

"_What the heck! You're only son comes back to see you and you HIT HIM?"_

Dad was grinning like the fool he usually was now, glad to see the old me back.

"I think all this time has let you get rusty! Good to know that I can teach you something every once in a while!"

"I'll show you rusty!"

I was ready to fall back into the old routine, hit him back and launch into battle, but he only hugged me again, a quick embrace, before letting me go.

"Now that we've been properly reacquainted, why don't we have dinner as a family again?"

**_AN Awh, I'm so happy that I got show Ichigo's interactions with his family!_ _Their different reactions were interesting to portray, especially Karin's. I also liked the immense guilt that Ichigo has in lying to his family. Because the boy needs even more problems. But I just have to say-AND THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES REAR THEIR UGLY HEAD YET AGAIN!_ _You thought they were gone, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? Well you were WRONG. It's going to stick around for a loooong long time, I promise. _**

**_And now, I end this all with the requests of feedback! And love! I do love getting feedback and love!  
_**


	7. Broken Whimsy

**_AN Wow, here's another update! As ever, I can only thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews, favs and alerts that assaulted my inbox. Please do keep it up!_**

It was awkward, sitting at the table like old times. Yuzu chattered on and on, while Karin stayed mostly quiet, just going with things. Dad seemed off though, bouncing off of Yuzu like he normally did, but when he fell quiet, his eyes would darken and he wouldn't look at me. The conversation was strained, and my eyes kept wandering over to my poster. It was the only solid reminder of what had happened, of what I was. I could ignore the mask, the looks everyone gave me, the memories that had been forcefully acquired. Every single one could be forgotten. But that poster, my face plastered to the wall...

You couldn't forget that.

"Oh, Ichigo, why don't you tell us some of your stories?" Yuzu beamed at me, and I stopped playing with my rice. I wasn't sure whether or not I could eat it, and a strange feel inside me kept me from wanting to try. It was...sucking away at my insides, almost like something had got its claws in me and were dragging my intestines out through my feet.

"Uhm, a story?"

"Yeah, about what it's like at the Academy! Did you make any friends there? What are your favorite classes? Or what about-"

"Geez, give him room to answer, why don't ya," Karin said, sighing through a mouthful of curry.

"Oh, sorry Ichi-nii, I'm just so excited, I mean we haven't seen you in so long! How did you get permission to come here anyways?"

"It was nothing, really. I mean, having friends so high up lets you get away with _murder._ They let me go without much hassle."

"Oh, okay! What about everything else?"

"Well, let's see..." Obviously, I had no idea what the academy was like, and would have to lie through my teeth on the go with this one. Fun. "There's this-"

"Yuzu, he can't tell you anything about the academy." Dad didn't look up from his plate as he spoke, and I felt myself go cold. This wasn't going to end well.

"We all know he's a social retard, but he has to have _something_ to talk about. Unless you're saying he's bound by shinigami code or something," Karin said, shrugging. Normally I would have been irritated at her comment, but I could hardly spare Karin a thought.

"No. He can't tell you because he's never been there. Am I right?" Yuzu gasped, and Karin looked alarmed. I could only look at Dad as he sighed, setting his fork down. "I didn't want to have to do this, especially not in front of the girls, but I can't let you go on like this."

"Dad...what are you-"

"Girls, the truth is-"

"I'm not a shinigami."

I closed my eyes as the words slipped out, not wanting to have to be there, to see any of it, Karin's look of awful realization, or hear Yuzu's exclamation. But I had to say it. Better me then have my disguise ripped away by Dad.

"You're not...? Then what..."

"Go ahead, son. Tell them what you are."

"This isn't funny guys," Karin said, clenching her fists so that they shook. "You better be pulling some lame joke or...or..."

"See, when the messenger from the Soul Society came, he told me what happened to your brother, and his friends. They arranged his death so they could keep tabs on him, so that he would no longer be a loose cannon."

"So...this is all their fault? You mean they killed you, took you away from us because they didn't have you under their thumb?" Karin was getting angry, and jumped to her feet, but I knew that it was forced. She had figured it all out, but was hoping, praying, that it was a mistake.

"How could they do this? How could they hurt so many people with this!"

"That's...that's not it at all," I whispered, turning my head down in shame. Here it came. The moment they would hate me.

"Why don't you take that scarf off," Dad suggested, folding his arms. Yuzu looked at him, horrified.

"No, Dad, don't ask him to do that, his eye..."

"Is exactly what he's trying to hide. I'm assuming it's there, right?" I gave a terse nod, hands shaking as I reached up. Why not finish it? Why bother letting it drag out?

I don't know what they expected, a brand, a mark, my eye really having been torn out, but not the mask. When I finally pulled it from my face, Yuzu stared at me like I was some sort of freak, like I belonged in a cage. Karin was scared, my spiritual pressure wasn't as restricted when I was merely holding the scarf. It still cut it down a good deal, but not enough to keep it from swallowing the room. Dad did nothing but close his eyes, knowing what would happen, dictating it even, yet still wanting it to be wrong.

"I...Ichigo," Yuzu whispered, "what...what is it? What _are _you?"

"He's a hollow. More specifically, an arrancar, an extremely high class hollow that has removed part of its mask to gain shinigami powers." Dad didn't open his eyes, not wanting to see any of it. I jumped up, suddenly angry.

"Yeah, you're right, okay? I'm a hollow, a monster, a demon! Happy? What are you going to do, call the captains down on me?"

"But... but what happened? What made you...this?" Yuzu held a hand to her chest, hesitantly stepping nearer. I took a step back, not wanting her any nearer. Karin looked at Dad, demanding some sort of explanation.

"The messenger told me that they killed you to keep a closer watch on you because you had hollow contamination, on a much different scale than the kind that Vizards have. When it became unstable you and all of your friends changed, retreating to Hueco Mundo after causing mass casualties to the Squads. From there I can only assume that you've been gaining power before coming here to eat us."

The last bit caught me up short. Eat them? _Eat them?_ The thought was revolting and compelling, a nightmare and yet a delicious desire. Yes...eat my family. Why not, then they'd be able to see my evolution for themselves. But then my mind caught up with my instincts, crushing the need under terror and disgust.

"I'm not going to eat you," I growled, telling both them and myself. I was _not going to eat them._ "And that's hardly the story."

"It's not? What happened, Ichi-nii?" Yuzu's voice was so hopeful it hurt. She was expecting some major blunder on the Soul Society's part, they had mutated us and then locked us away, we managed to escape with our humanity intact, _something._ Something I couldn't give.

"How can we trust you," Karin demanded, staring at me and shaking her head. She had sat back down after Dad's version of the story-the Soul Society's version-like she was an old person and couldn't handle any of this. "You've already lied to us, hurt us by coming here, disguised as something you're not! Why would you possibly tell the truth now?" There was a laugh in her voice, a hysteric edge that sent me reeling. But her words enraged me, I wanted to grab her and shake her, make all of her fear show in her eyes and tell her that _I could not control the truth!_

"You think I'd lie about this? The Soul Society killed us, yeah, but then they _tortured_ us. They 'judged' us, and then threw us to the hands of Mayuri Kurotsuchi, a freak that doesn't care about anything but the sickening facts! Can you imagine it, _any _of it, watching as your friends are led away, day after day, seeing them hurt and be scared, watching them _change_ from brave people to terrified animals that will attack even a friendly face? Can you fathom being that _yourself_? Looking into a mirror, and thinking _'That is not my face'_ and _hating_ yourself for it? The guilt crushing you until you can't move as you know that _you're_ the one who caused all of this, who dragged your friends into this nightmare?"

"No," Yuzu said quietly, tears filling her eyes.

"But you came back! You came back, for what Ichigo? What could have possibly made you want to come back after murdering all those people?"

"You think I _chose_ that? The tests triggered something, we went critical and changed. If we had been left alone, then this would have been _fine,_ nothing would have happened, but instead we turned into monsters. The nine of us managed to escape to the closest thing to safety we knew, and had to fight for the very right to _breathe._ Coming back was the only real choice we've had!"

Karin refused to look at me, closing her eyes on the scene like Dad.

"I trusted you," she whispered, and she was crying again, twice in one night because of me, "I trusted you, even though I _knew_ I couldn't."

"Ichigo," Dad started, standing up, "I'll let you have a five minute head start. Then I'll inform the Soul Soc-"

"Don't act as if you're blameless!" I yelled, turning on him. "Don't act as if you haven't _lied to us_ all our lives! We still wouldn't know if it were up to you! How can you possibly act as if you're innocent when you were a _captain._ Did you tell Mom? Did you ever bother to mention 'Oh, right, sorry about this, but our children are going to be _freaks'?"_ The words were out, savagely tearing into everyone. I wasn't proud of saying them, but it felt too _good_ having said what I'd hated myself for thinking, good for hurting them, him.

I really had turned into a monster.

He was stiff, knuckles white on the back of a chair.

"I didn't realize what would happen until it was too late, Karin and Yuzu were already born. If I'd known...if I'd had any _idea..._"

"So you're saying that you'd rather not have us if we weren't perfect? _Thanks._" The hunger was gnawing at me, corroding all the good parts of me, the parts that made me Ichigo. It was hard to think, except for the thought that I now understood what hollows had been telling me for last few years, that my soul smelled wonderful, would be even better to eat. A soul even as strong as Yuzu's would be _delicious_. I was practically salivating at the thought, and everything was laid out in my head, I knew how it would all go.

Who would I attack first? Karin? Just a leap over the table, my momentum would knock her over, I'd pin her and then her life would be over. Simple. If I used sonido I'd get a couple of seconds until Dad reacted, then Yuzu would be dead as well. Their souls would be seasoned with debilitating terror, I'd seen it before, I knew how fear would make it all taste sweet. By then Dad would have changed, no longer man but shinigami, and here it gave me pause. Would he look at his son' face, stained with the blood of his daughters, and be halted in his tracks? It was nearly impossible to look on the face of a loved one and raise your sword, that I had learned from experience, and to then cut them took a strong will. But I knew how strong Dad could be, he wouldn't have an issue moving the blade.

The only question was, would he be struck with pity or the grim determination to rid the world of a monster? It didn't take long for me to decide-of course he'd cut me. But he was only a shinigami, I was an arrancar, I could move faster, with adrenaline and instinct fueling me. A shinigami could not keep up with an arrancar who had given themselves over completely to instinct, degenerated to a brute with no mind. Did I mind becoming that, just to get a taste of my family?

I had to fight back the wave of nauseated excitement at the thought.

Dad had paused like I had, though I could tell he wasn't flying along the same train tracks as me. What had made us pause like this? Oh, right. My accusations against him, claiming that he would have preferred no children to having miscreations.

"What I'm saying, Ichigo, is that I never wanted you to have to endure all of this...I knew that problems would be all you knew if you were exposed to shinigami and hollows, so I tried to keep you sheltered, to hide the truth. It was...and is, my greatest mistake."

"Well, that's great, except it doesn't matter anymore. Your son is now a monster, and your daughters are going to be traumatized for all your efforts. Feel better?"

"Ichigo," he whispered, stepping closer, "you have to believe me, I never imagined the repercussions. I thought that Masaki dying would be the ultimate punishment I would ever bear, and it was difficult not giving in some days, but this...watching you go through this, without proper guidance...without me...you can't possibly know." The pain and remorse in his eyes was fighting the battle inside me that my shards of humanity were losing. I pulled myself away from the hate and the anger, and forced myself to feel human.

"Dad..." He was in front of me know, hand on my shoulder.

"Son...I'm sorry. But you'll have to do the rest on your own, you can't ever come back here, not the way you are."

Yuzu suddenly barreled into me, sobbing. She had listened quietly as I argued with Dad, while Karin slowly stitched herself together again.

"Ichigo...don't go, please. Please, don't leave us. We'll find a way, the Soul Society doesn't ever have to know!" I sadly patted her head, giving her a weak smile. I kind of wished I still had that blind hope, the belief I could make anything happen. Glancing at Karin, I felt the cold hurt falling off her. She still refused to look at me, staring straight ahead.

"I can only buy you ten minutes, fifteen at best," whispered Dad, shaking his head. "They'll know if I take any more."

"Ichi-Ichigo, please be safe, I don't want you to get any more hurt!" I nodded at Yuzu, whose face was pressed against my skin. I felt it, but my skin didn't give way like would have before. Instead her face was pressed out of shape like she was leaning into a marble pillar.

Everything felt numb, and it was a struggle to recall all that had happened. In the span of three hours, I had come back, lied to my family, managing to steal back some trust, and then had it shattered as Dad revealed the truth. I was now on the run again, only this time with the shame and hope of my family on my back.

"I'll...I'll come back," I promised, squeezing Yuzu's hand and ruffling her hair, messing up the two ponytails. Stealing what felt like my last look at Karin, I said my silent goodbyes to my home. My hand was on the door when a voice cut through the heavy silence.

"If you die Ichigo, I swear, I'll never forgive you for being such a lame brother!" I turned, staring at Karin, who didn't seem to have moved, shocked. A smile ate through though, and I nodded as I left, the door clicking behind me.

_I promise Karin. I'll make you proud. I'll come back, and will right everything, and I'll definitely make you proud._

I started to run down the street, searching for everyone. Shinji, Hiyori and Hitsugaiya were clustered around the river, Renji was moving down the road by the hospital, Rukia running along behind hi-

I stopped, dumbfounded. Something Dad had said was finally reaching my head, and then mixed with words Rukia had told me after seeing hollow Sora for the first time.

_From there I can only assume that you've been gaining power before coming here to eat us...__Hollows...they eat souls to ease their pain and suffering. A soul that has become a hollow, to fill its empty heart...seeks out the souls of those it loved the most in its past life to eat them.  
_

To eat them. To _eat them._ The reason I felt so strongly to come here, to return home for just a moment, was to _eat my family._ It sickened me, and the thought of plunging Zangetsu into my chest was suddenly incredibly tempting. What world needed a demon like me plaguing it?

Another thought came to me, my horror from before nothing compared to this. I had come because, subconsciously, I wanted eat my family, but I had stopped because of Dad_. _Inoue had also insisted on the idea, and had come because...

I bolted, sprinting back down the way I came, slipping into a sonido. Only one thought rang in my mind.

_Hold on Tatsuki!  
_

_**AN How promising! I'm pretty sure Ichigo's right to worry for Tatsuki, just look at how he felt about eating his family! I have to say, it was great to be able to show Ichigo's pent up anger! You never really see him getting mad at anyone for their actions, not with Urahara, or his dad, or anything! The boy needs to express himself more! XD**_

_**...Huh. It **_**may just_ be a little late, but this story is riddled with spoilers. So, uh, don't read if you're not all caught up in the manga? Haha? *coughi'msuchafailureatthiscough* This is just for those who hadn't noticed yet, those poor dim few._**

**_BUT ANYWAYS! CRUSH ME IN LOVE! I promise to faithfully keep up my end of the unspoken bargain-you give me a lot of reviews, I give you a chapter soonish! And I do keep my promises!  
_**


	8. Disjointing Souls

_**AN **_**_ This is what you call UPDATED. WHOO. I took a break from the usual angst/dark humor/Ichigo ramble and decided to tell this part of the story from third point-Orihime's view. You'll have to tell me if it's all coherent and makes sense. Heaven knows I make so little sense._**

Orihime moved down the street to her friend's home. Memories, thoughts and feelings jumped out at her as she passed this house or that tree. So many lives separated her from this world, literally. She had eaten her way through soul after soul to reach where she stood now, had clawed her way on blood feet and broken hands up to the top, and Orihime knew that she was not afraid to kick at the fingers of any who tried to do the same.

Was she supposed to feel something at that?

As she paused in front of the Arisawa household, Orihime knew that she did not belong here. It was getting harder for her to keep her hold on who, what she was? Did a monster cloaked in a friend's skin slither their way to a loved one's home, or was that Inoue Orihime standing in the street, nerves jittery with questionable intent?

She hesitated in front or the Arisawa's a moment longer before moving along. Tatsuki was not there. Her spiritual pressure pulled at Orihime from a couple blocks away, still traveling in the same direction. Orihime ran the distance, knowing what her friends would say if they knew she wasn't sonidoing. The longer they were in the World of the Living, the longer the shinigami would have to find them.

The apartment building that held Tatsuki wasn't anything special, it looked like countless others, but as Orihime climbed the steps up to level five, she felt excitement charging inside her, to her very fingertips until she thought that she was containing a lightning bolt.

The door blocking Tatsuki from Orihime's view was marked with a neat, golden set of numbers that said '_102'_. The gnarled feeling of being a monster grew inside her as she waited at the door, knowing that she, a demon, did not deserve to stand at her friend's door.

Orihime knew that she had changed once she became a hollow. She could feel the furtive glances her friends tried to hide, recognized the ugly words that fell from her mouth. They were shocked by the changes in her, but it wasn't something that bothered her unduly. Privately she thought that when Ulquiorra had slowly, softly drifted away, the ash that had once been his heart had landed in her hand. Orihime believed fully that the remnants of the hollow had stayed inside her, allowing her to safeguard it. When she had turned hollow, it only made sense that the already hollow part inside her took hold. But why had it left when she became an arrancar...? __

Sighing, she pressed her fingers to the door. It opened under her touch, and she stepped inside, pulling off her hood.

"Hello?"

There was a clatter of sound, a mumbled curse, and then pounding feet as Tatsuki entered the room, skidding to a halt.

"Ori-orihime!" Tatsuki stared at her late friend, and Orihime noticed that her hair had grown longer.

"Oh, Tatsuki! I-I hope you don't mind me bursting in on you like this, unannounced and everything! I mean, it's kind of rude of-"

Orihime was cut off by Tatsuki's arms being thrown around her in a bear hug. She was shocked by how readily Tatsuki accepted her being there-wasn't she wondering why her dead friend was standing in her home?

"How...how are you here?" Tatsuki asked, and Inoue was surprised to hear a touch of tears in her voice. She was also surprised at how _soft_ the girl felt, was this how humans compared to arrancar? Orihime knew that when she had touched an arrancar as a human, they were like stone, but touching a human as an arrancar, it was astounding. Tatsuki felt more like a stuffed toy than a person in Orihime's arms, supremely breakable and heart wrenchingly fragile.

"I...I came back," Orihime said simply, feeling the emptiness gnawing at her.

"Yeah, but...but how?" Tatsuki pulled back, holding Orihime by the shoulders, examining her hard. The initial flash of worry about her mask was swallowed by the fact that Orihime had adjusted her cloak to imitate the uniform of a shinigami's. She had abandoned the scarf that covered her mask and trusted that the cloak would do the rest, after all, it wasn't a safe guard against her spiritual pressure like with Ichigo.

"Orihime...you're _dead._" Tatsuki said the last part in hushed tones, eyes actually darting around to see if anyone was eaves dropping, and they would hear her words and snatch her friend away.

"I know... it's...it's kind of a long story." She gave a weak smile to Tatsuki, and she nodded. Orihime felt odd as she was lead into Tatsuki's sitting room, as she explained that she had moved out of her family's house a couple months ago. They intended to move soon, but Tatsuki liked it there and had decided to finish her schooling in Karakura. All Orihime could do was smile and nod at her friend, it was just so _good_ to see Tatsuki again. The cavern her absence had made inside Orihime was starting to fill, and she let herself think, just for a moment, things could be normal.

"So," began Tatsuki, "spill. What's happened? Why has everything...gone on?"

Orihime took a deep breath, locking her hands into fists on her lap in an attempt to keep control. Already her mind was skipping on away, focusing solely on how..._hungry_ she was. Orihime hadn't felt hungry in so long, it almost scared her. She had forgotten how consuming it was, how it grabbed her attention and wouldn't let her have it back until she sated it.

"I'm not quite sure that you'll believe me, I mean, it's kind of a tall tale to understand."

"Trust me," Tatsuki said, leaning forward over the table, "I think I can handle it."

"Alright. See...it started a couple years ago..."

And Orihime told her. Told Tatsuki everything, from her own powers, to Rukia's rescue, to her abduction. Not a detail did she leave out, not her wretched feelings in Las Noches, where she teetered on the edge of relief, fear and insanity, nor the absolute horror of seeing Ichigo battle Ulquiorra on the dome. Tatsuki listened quietly, not looking at Orihime as she weaved a world that Tatsuki had never really been a part of, where swords had spirits and people had another world to go to after death, with nobility and a set of rules more harsh than those of the real world.

When Inoue finished they were both quiet, waiting.

"And...it's all true? You haven't...left out anything, or...lied?"

"No Tatsuki, I haven't lied!" About what she had told her. Conveniently, Orihime had omitted everything after coming home from Las Noches, leaving Tatsuki to make her own assumptions. Tatsuki would understand soon enough, after all, Orihime couldn't really keep up this charade. Soon enough, Tatsuki would find out, and what would Orihime do then? What would she do when her friend was stiff with terror or scream or run? Would she let her go, run after her, stop her? Nausea swept her-how would she stop her? Somehow, Orihime knew it wouldn't be with words, or with a reassuring clasp of the hand.

_No!_ she scolded herself. _No, you can't think those things! You have to fight it, fight being a hollow! A hollow would hurt her, but there has to be something more to me! There has to be some humanity!_ Her hands here knotted painfully into her psuedo-hakama, and Orihime prayed that the pain would help clear her head. She was here to say goodbye, take one last glimpse of the girl before Orihime was off for good, nothing _that_ bad could come from words changing hands.

"Good," Tatsuki said, sighing. She seemed oddly relaxed in the presence of Orihime's story, but a frown creased her face.

"Wait...then...why are you here?"

"Oh, the Soul Society decided that since we've been such a big help, they'd take advantage of our...passing. We're honorary shinigami now! So I kind of snuck down here to tell you about what's happened...that everything's okay..." The words were hard to form, and it wasn't difficult for Orihime to imagine that the words were clawing at her throat, tearing her insides in penance for lying to Tatsuki. She had never lied to her, not flat out like this. Sure, she had _omitted the truth,_ but _lying_? Black shame was swelling in her, and she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Alright, I get it." She was smiling again, and Orihime's heart, or what she figured was her heart, there had to be _something_ left, felt like it was poisoned. Nothing pure could be the cause of this longing, this...this..._appetite. _

_There you go,_ she thought, mouth contorting into something painful, _now you really are a monster. Completely deceiving her...Can you ever change that, take the words away and tell her the truth?_

There was a pause, and Orihime's clawed hands slowly unknotted, undigging themselves from her skin, smoothing out as she felt a false sense of calm. Hesitantly her hands undid the clasp around her neck, and Orihime's cloak fluttered to the ground. She was mildly surprised, why had they done that?

_Take deep breaths, _the girl told herself, _steady yourself so you can tell her. Don't leave her with a painting made of lies._

"Tatsuki...I haven't really been...totally honest with you."

"What, did you manage to confess to Ichigo in all that mess?" Tatsuki was laughing, she hadn't realized what Orihime meant. She ended up panting, a slight frown on her face as it slowly became harder to breathe.

"No...not that," Orihime said, a small laugh dropped from her, more hysteria than humor. She couldn't meet Tatsuki's eye, because for some strange reason, she felt like she didn't deserve to look at her so honestly, when she was drowning in shame and her own lies.

"Okay...what then?" Her voice had become a little worried, the thought that something had gone horribly wrong crossing her mind.

"See...when we died...the Soul Society wanted us for...different reasons than you might imagine."

"Like a special reserve in case Aizen comes back?" Sweat was starting to break out over Tatsuki's face, and still Orihime let her reiatsu grow, keeping it confined inside the walls of the room.

"No. Not like that at all. They took us in because they thought we were a danger."

"A...danger?" Her eyes flickered, and her hand brushed her throat, as if to knock something away.

"Yes. See, Central thought we had hollow contamination, so they made sure they could keep an eye on us."

"An...eye on you?" Tatsuki set her hand on the table, a subconscious preparation for a fight. "But why? I mean, you're a shinigami aren't you? Obviously you are cleared, there's nothing wrong!"

"Tatsuki, don't you get it?" Orihime couldn't raise her eyes, couldn't show the expression on her face as her longing and greed slowly consumed her, just as it would Tatsuki. "_I'm not a shinigami._"

"Not a...but then...you look li-" She froze, eyes growing as she understood. "You're an arrancar." Tatsuki's words were just a whisper, whether it was from horror or the air being dense with spiritual pressure, Orihime didn't know.

"_Yes,_" she whispered, tears starting to glide along her cheeks. Tatsuki jumped up as Orihime released as much energy as she could with the caps on. Staggering, she tried to reach the door, but fell, spasming. Orihime stayed in her seat on the floor, hands clenched once more, eyes shut as if that could block out the sounds as Tatsuki's struggles became slower, weaker, until they were nonexistent. Her breath was going too fast, not delivering any oxygen to her body, and once more Orihime noted just how fragile humans were. And this was Tatsuki, a person she had regarded as incredibly strong!

Appetite. The word she had so aptly used before came back to her, and all Orihime's delusions dropped, the horror choking her. Was _that_ the reason she had been practically dragged here by the desire to see Karakura, no, more specifically Tatsuki? Dazed, she felt that yes, that was exactly why. Her inability to control her instincts was the reason she had as good as killed her best friend.

The tears were rolling down her cheeks and falling gently to her lap, which had reverted back to its normal white. It was like watching Ichigo's death all over, only this time, _she_ had been the murderer. She couldn't shirk the guilt and blame like before, no, she wasn't an innocent bystander, a person who should help, but couldn't. This time, she had moved the hand that did the loathsome deed. The static attacked her brain again, and she wanted to start screaming and throwing things.

_This isn't my fault!_ Orihime wanted to yell, _I'm not the reason Tatsuki is dying! You can't blame me,_ she wanted to scream at the people she just _knew_ were crowding around her, jostling her and glaring at the monster.

"It's not my fault..." she whispered, hands holding her head together. "It's not my fault, I didn't do it, a monster did...It's not my fault...it's not my fault...it can't be my fault! I don't want it to be my fault...please, bring her back." Eyes wide, she turned to Tatsuki's body, afraid of what she might see.

Orihime forced herself to her friend's side, shouting her name, and watched as Tatsuki's eyes slowly slid onto Orihime's masked face.

Tatsuki's spiritual pressure vanished.

* * *

My head shot up in alarm, eyes locking onto the level where Tatsuki and Inoue's reiatsu radiated. Or rather, where Inoue's radiated.

Swearing I leaped up the steps (Literally. I jumped up onto the fifth level from the third), almost feeling the spirit particles flying past my face in the air as I launched myself towards the door where Inoue was. It wasn't locked, and I slammed it open to find Inoue kneeling only a couple feet from me. But the sick part was that it was in front of Tatsuki's body.

She looked mangled, even though nothing was wrong with her body. A beat later, I knew why. A chain stretched from her chest, the seven remaining links sprawled on the floor beside her.

"_Why did you cut her chain?"_ I dropped to my knees, hands extending over Tatsuki, but not jumping into action, because there was _nothing I could do._ She was dead, her chain cut, there was no hope for her. Inoue hadn't moved, was just crying silently, rocking back and forth with her hands clenched on her lap.

"No, no, I didn't, Kurosaki-kun, she...I don't know why...I just...I just..." She was incoherent, face slick with grief. Her spiritual pressure was still being let out full tilt, slowly seeping into the street.

"Inoue, stop it! You're going to get us caught!" This piece of useless, idiotic information was what I clung on to in order to keep me from losing it entirely. I grabbed her shoulder, making her look at me, and it was awful looking into her eyes. They showed me what it was like inside her, sorrow, emptiness and an ability to not understand why she felt like this, something I had only ever seen in Ulquiorra.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, head dropping back like it would be able to fix anything. "I'm so _sorry._"

I was just about to answer when the rest of Tatsuki's chain ate itself.

Jinta's words from the shattered shaft came back to me. _Let me tell you a second thing...the strength of the last corrosion is stronger than any from before!_

Just like that, the seven remaining chain grew mouths and ripped into each other, tearing chunks out of the links after it. I reared back, and Inoue gasped as the chain of fate tore away, revealing a hole. What was going on? This wasn't supposed to happen, she hadn't been de...she was alive just minutes ago! Still breathing, a human with years left, and now Tatsuki was...

Dead. A hollow. Not alive.

White surged from the hole, a liquid that made a tough shell beats later. Inoue and I fell back as Tatsuki was consumed in white, turning her into a creature with _too many legs,_ but then she was gone, writhing in a burst of light. I shouted, arm shielding my eyes, and it was over.

I opened my eyes slowly, and looked down to find a very surprising sight. Tatsuki, a human looking Tatsuki, not the dead soul with her chain so perilously close to being cannibalized. Not the hollow, hissing and writhing before me but just _Tatsuki_, laying on the floor, whole, healthy, perfect, really, except...naked.

I reared back, looking away, and was convinced that my face was the same color as my stripes. She stared up at the ceiling, breath coming in huffs. Inoue started sobbing, laughing and grabbing up her hand.

"Tatsuki..._Tatsuki I'm sorry!_ I'm so, _so sorry_, I don't know what's wrong with me, I-I just thought...I _needed_, everything inside me said that I had to...Tatsuki, please, please forgive me! I know that I don't deserve this...please, please Tatsuki..."

I edged around them, staring firmly at the wall, and snatched Inoue's cloak from the ground a few feet away, and threw the cloak over Tatsuki. I heard her sit up (my eyes were still fixed on the wall, a very nice color it was too), and she grunted "You can look now, I'm decent."

I let my eyes creep back around to face her, ready to flick back to the wall at any sign of...too much skin, and they locked onto a fist, just about ready to smack into my face. The two connected and my head whipped back, making me topple over.

"_What the he-_"

"You! You...you...Idiot! You seriously think that after this, after everything, after turning Orihime and you and Chad and _everyone_ into hollows, you can just _walk away?_ And then you come _here?_ WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Hand held to my nose, I stared at her, wrapped up in a cloak and screaming curses and insults at me, waving her arms and gesticulating like a mad woman. She seemed oblivious to the fact that she had a zanpakuto beside her, or that if I really wanted to, I could easily snap her in half. Tatsuki just yelled away, explaining just how much of a moron I was, how she was going to lay into me when she was actually wearing clothes, and just how _pissed_ she was that she now was a demon freak. I let her go on, numb to all the impossibilities of what had just happened in five minutes. I was glad in a messed up way too. Tatsuki got another chance to scream at me, to possibly forgive Orihime, to do _anything,_ no matter how tainted a chance it was. When she seemed done, steam having run out, she blew a piece of hair out of her face.

"So," Tatsuki said, scowling, at the cloak around her, "why are you guys here?"

"Well," I said, glad to know that she had stopped screaming, "in all actuality...Inoue and I came here to eat the ones we were closest to in life." I waited for her to hit me again, but she just leaned back, still frowning.

"Okay. It makes about as much sense as everything else. What about the other seven?"

I frowned, trying to see past her face to what she was feeling. Sure, Tatsuki was a solid rock when it came to dealing with problems, but she had just _died_, and then turned into a monster. I spoke, starting slowly, coming to the conclusion that she was in shock. Or she thought she was insane and knew there was no point in fighting it. Then I noticed her hands were shaking.

"They're...around. Probably crossing their fingers that a bunch of shinigami don't come swarming down on our sorry hides."

"And that's because...?"

"I haven't stopped putting out reiatsu." Inoue's voice was small, as if just now realizing that she was sending up a flare to all those interested down in Squad 12. Immediately she cut her flow, and Tatsuki blinked.

"So that's what...but how did I...why am I naked?"

I laughed at the random quality of her question, it just seemed so unimportant. So what if she was naked, she was _dead. _Didn't she understand what she was condemned to-constantly looking back, at the past that could have been her future and the enemies that may chose to attack. Didn't she understand that it was so easy to be killed by someone who didn't like you, just because? Didn't Tatsuki understand that this wasn't the fighting ring, people died because they weren't fast or strong enough or because they got cocky? _Was_ she even strong enough to handle this new world? No, our world. Her world.

"Because when you remove your mask, you don't exactly get to have clothes on."

"My mas...Oh." She glanced down, noticing the small dark slice of emptiness between the skin of her chest and the cloak. Her fingers probed the space, face becoming sad as the cloth sagged, pushed into her hole. I felt her sadness, it mirrored my own sorrow, which had long since dulled into pain and anger at the Soul Society. But Tatsuki wasn't an arrancar because of them, it was because of us, me. It made me want to tear myself apart, the knowledge that once again, I had hurt my friends.

"So, uh, how'd this...happen?" I'll give her some credit-after finding out that she was dead, the only sign of alarm was a shaky voice. Her mask was more of a face guard, covering part of her hair, her forehead and her jaw. In a strange way, it reminded me of the headgear fighters sometimes wear. A mark sat under her opposite eye, the right, a black arc with a spike in the middle, almost like tears. More and more proof just how much of a hollow she was.

"I...Tatsuki, I don't know why I couldn't help myself, but I...I guess I k-killed you with my reiatsu."

"H-how?"

"It was too much, you're soul couldn't handle it." I stepped in here, because Inoue looked like she was about to break down again. I wanted to start screaming with her, to break things and hurt things and show just how _sorry _I was like I had as a child, but that wasn't a luxury I could ever have. Not any more.

"Tatsuki, I'm such a coward! Even when I gave in to such a despicable act, I couldn't even hurt you with my own hands. Instead I overwhelmed you with my sheer power, endangering _everyone, _and I didn't even realize it! What's wrong with me?" She gave a nervous laugh, eyes wide, hands tugging at each other.

"Nothing's wrong with you," Tatsuki said instantly, putting a hand on Inoue's shoulder. "It just means that you care more than other hollows. Do you think it would bother them to strangle their best friend?"

I wanted to say something harsh and bitter, to make them hurt even more than I did, maybe, duh, Inoue didn't have a heart, none of us did, that was the point of the hole, or maybe Tatsuki didn't need to console her, her duty of protecting her was over with. The words never reached their ears, because that wouldn't be the human me speaking. It would be the demon that had just tried to eat his family.

"Right," Tatsuki said briskly, climbing to her feet, "I'm dead now, which means I can not stay here. So I have to get some clothes on and then go with you to Hueco Mundo." The thought stopped me, I had never thought about that-Tatsuki living in Hueco Mundo. With us, the merry band of arrancars. As an arrancar.

The tremors that I had noticed in her hands had now spread, shaking her entire body, but I didn't comment. She could stay in shock a little longer. Instead, I scooped up her zanpakuto and tossed it at her.

"Don't forget this." She grabbed it, hand holding tightly to the scabbard.

"Right..." she murmured, and her mournful look told me that while she was glad at finally having what everyone else seemed to have, it was at a price she had never wanted to pay. Tatsuki went to her room to change, and I sighed.

"This is..._just_ what we need. Tatsuki...do you think that she'll be able to adjust?"

Inoue was silent, trying to swallow her grief. She nodded, giving a watery smile. Scrubbing at her face, she took a deep breath.

"Kurosaki-kun...I should be apologizing to you too. I mean, the shinigami are bound to be coming, and we're just sitting here waiting for Tatsuki, and I... I don't know what to do."

"Inoue...look, it's alright. I know how you feel. I mean, I was _this close_ to eating my entire family." I started to laugh, starting to get giddy from how completely close I was to either cracking like my mask or being hauled back to the Soul Society, only this time for immediate execution, not testing.

"Yes, but," she laughed, and I realized that if I went crazy, then I would have someone to be crazy right along with me. She straightened, determined to be strong, "did you actually kill them?"

"No," I said after a pause. "No, I didn't. But I came very, very close. In fact, the only thing that saved me, them, was Dad. Did you know he used to be a captain, consequently?" She stared, her own sorrows forgotten.

"What? No, I didn't, all this time-you didn't know? I mean, he-"

"No," I repeated, still laughing a little. "I didn't know any of it. One of the girls...slipped up and told me. I guess...he never wanted me to know any of it. Which makes sense. I wouldn't want any of my kids to know about...this." I waved my hand around, and amazingly, my face wasn't bitter.

"I know what you mean, Kurosaki-kun." She leaned back, sighing as her hand unconsciously closed around her zanpakuto. Inoue stood up, trying to take back her old energy.

"Come on, Kurosaki-kun! If the shinigami are really coming, then we need to be able to run." I nodded, standing up beside her, letting the imminent threat of captains and friends coming to kill us slip back. Somehow, in this little calamity, those worries had been forgotten. But they were back in the midst of this lull, and again we had to be able to fight them.

Tatsuki came back from her room, wearing a hoodie and jeans. I noticed that the sweatshirt was white, and my mouth quirked. Already she was a step closer to really joining the arrancar ranks.

"Alright then...we should get going. No point sitting here and greeting the shinigami with tea and cookies." I grinned, glad to have Tatsuki back, and lead them out of the door. Because that was what I was determined to do. Lead my friends, and let them chose to do something. Not drag them down with me, so I wouldn't have to be all alone.

**_AN Poor __Tatsuki! I felt so bad for having to write her death scene, and yet at the same time...At the same time, that bad, awful sick and twisted side of me called an author is jumping up and down screaming 'YES! YEEEES! This is what we _need!_ Death! Destruction! More angst! Betrayal! HUZZAH!', so you guys will have to watch her in case she does some thing _cuhra-azy. _Just in case. _**

**_BUT! The whole Ulqui-is-now-sorta-inside-Hime thing just kind of...Makes sense in my head. I mean, it would explain the reason why she's suddenly so...bad and evil and junk. So, I hope you too understand it and are not appalled at my audacity for springing something so strange on you guys.  
_**

**_ Send me the love! The hate (oh. Please not the hate. I really do prefer love)! The holy-craps-I did-NOT-see-that-coming's! I LOVE READING THEM ALL!_**


	9. Fadeout

_**AN Wow, that was kind of a fast update for me! Congrats, me! Feel proud! Okay, narcissism done. Anywuzzles, enjoy the new chapter! And thank you, EdDaeken, for being the lovely editor you are!  
**_

The three of us started down the street, casting glances over our shoulders to see if any shinigami had found us. I had just started to sonido when it hit me. Staggering forward, I turned, frowning.

"You can't sonido."

"What?" Tatsuki asked, looking puzzled. "What's a 'sonido'?"

"Crap. Uhm...Inoue, do you think you can explain a sonido to her?" Inoue had stopped a few steps after me, and was turning back.

"Well Tatsuki, it's where you manipulate your reiatsu beneath you..."

"My reiatsu? I don't think I can do that." She folded her arms, looking irritated.

"_Wonderful,_" I snarled, leaning forward and grabbing her up, tossing her over my shoulder and turning back around. Tatsuki swore, hitting me, and I glared back at her.

"Look, I don't care if you call me a pig, but if you'd rather die because you can't move fast enough, use a zanpakuto, or any of the hollow techniques, fine, I'll let you down." I waited for her answer, but she only scowled off to her left. "Is that a no?"

"_No,_" she growled, and I knew how she felt. It had been infuriating in the beginning, having people tell me I had to do this, I should be able to do that, until I had figured out what on earth they had been talking about. Unlike me, however, Tatsuki didn't have the instinct (yet) or the talent to be able to perform the needed techniques subconsciously. Once we got back to Hueco Mundo, I'd fix that.

"Rukia, Ishida-kun and Abarai-kun are in the park," Inoue informed us, and we turned, skidding as we saw Renji, Rukia and Ishida barreling towards us. They looked alarmed, obviously, I hadn't been the only one who had noticed Inoue's sudden push of spiritual pressure.

"What's going on," Renji demanded, voice tight with apprehension.

"Nothing much, we just gotta get out of here _fast._"

"What do you mean 'nothing much'? We thought that Orihime was discovered by some enemy with no spiritual pressure and was killed by them! What happened-who's that?" Rukia stared at my shoulder, and Renji stepped forward, tugging off Tatsuki's hood.

He swore softly, tugging it back down over her snarling face.

"Why's she here?" he hissed, glaring at me. Renji had recognized Tatsuki from when he had come as part of Hitsugaiya's patrol before Inoue was taken to Hueco Mundo, and I growled, feeling anxious. The shinigami could come at any time, and we were standing about, debating why I had grabbed one of my best friends and was running with her. Couldn't they jump to the worst possible conclusion when I actually needed them to? Ishida had seen Tatsuki's face when Renji pulled back her hood, and his eyes narrowed.

"That's Arisawa-san," Ishida said, brushing at his hair. Rukia's frown deepened, starting to look alarmed.

"Yeah, that's nice. Let's move while talking, shall we?" Reluctantly everyone started to move, though Rukia continued to press me for answers.

"Arisawa...Arisawa Tatsuki? Why do you have her Ichigo? What's the-"

"I'm a hollow," Tatsuki said quietly, and turned her head to show the freshly broken mask.

"We've gotta find the others," Rukia said through gritted teeth, her eyes wide. "Hitsugaiya and Shinji, most of all. They have the most experience out of all of us, they should have _some_ idea as to what to do."

We started a steady run, not daring to use any techniques with the imminent danger of shinigami dropping on our heads. Even though everyone seemed to be concentrating on finding the others, I could feel the unstable flow of emotions jumping from them. Tatsuki seemed...a little defeated, though I had no idea why. If I had to put a name to it, I'd call it sulking, but this was _Tatsuki._ She _never_ sulked. Inoue was still wracked with grief, but it was more muted than what she had expressed at Tatsuki's place. She'd let the lid off though, whenever she thought we wouldn't be able to feel it.

I could feel Renji's eyes bouncing from me, to Tatsuki, to Inoue as we sprinted down the streets, tracing everyone's reiatsu. I wasn't sure what he was feeling, shock, obviously, this was a first for all of us without a doubt. But I had a feeling that he was thinking about his own friends. If they didn't all live in the Soul Society (at least, the ones that weren't arrancar along with him), if the ones he loved lived here, would he have been attracted to them? Would he have eaten them on the spot, or turned them into a hollow like Inoue? He feared what might have happened, instead of what could.

Ishida commented on how everyone was clustered together, and we nodded, taking a sharp right. He had the biggest reaction, and the most alarming. When he had found out what had happened to Tatsuki, his hand had shot to his hilt, getting ready to cut her down...and then what? Leave her? Eat her? There was no doubt in my mind that the cold intent he had learned as a Quincy made him the most hollow-like. Ishida would not hesitate to kill someone where we would.

There was a block between us and the rest of the group when I realized why they were together.

"This is-"

"Why, hello, Kurosaki-kun." I whipped around, almost sending Tatsuki into and through the wall beside us, as Urahara pushed himself up from a bench.I hadn't even sensed him as we had gone by. Probably because of one of his inventions, no doubt.

"Ur-urahara-san," Inoue gasped, and she fell back a step, hand hovering over her zanpakuto hilt, will to protect her friend battling the need to escape. My own hand jumped to Zangetsu's hilt, only to hit Tatsuki in the face. She snarled, whacking me back, and I swallowed all the curses I wanted to yell at her.

"No need for that," he sighed, walking towards us. "I'm here to help."

"_Help?_ Why on earth would you _help?_"

"Ah, hello to you too, Abarai-kun."

"Don't 'Abarai-kun' me like we're friends!" Renji snapped, snarling like a fiend.

"What, I let you live in my shop, didn't I? That's rather friendly." Urahara grinned at us, fan waving back and forth at Renji as if to blow the anger away.

"It was slave labor!" Renji's face was turning red, and his voice was jumping up, echoing off of the buildings around us. He was clenching his fist for a bala, probably because he wanted to make Urahara pay for the crap he'd given Renji, instead of for our own protection.

"_Anyways,"_ Rukia cut in, glaring at both of them, "if you aren't going to fight us, then what are you here for?"

"It would seem very likely that you're here merely to stall us," Ishida said, already in a fighting stance.

"Maybe. But it could also be very likely that I'm here to help, like I said."

We all stayed quiet, trying to figure out if this was another one of his tricks or not. With Urahara, it could turn either way. Rukia gasped, eyes snapping to the sky.

"The shinigami are here, vice-captain and captain level." A moment later, I felt it too. I bounced on my feet, agitation at our predicament starting to overflow.

"Alright," I said, letting loose some tension, "go on, help us."

"Glad to see we've come to an agreement. This way," he said, waving us to the shop. We shuffled inside, and found Chad, Shinji and the others sitting inside. "They decided I was trustworthy as well," he said, smiling at us.

"Well, despite having a pretty dodgy record when it comes to reasoning, you are pretty true to your word," Shinji said, face set in a grimace. Hiyori only muttered, arms shoved into each other. Jinta was just leaving the room, and Ururu bowed to us in that timid way of her's.

"Hello. It's good to see you're not hurt." I nodded at her as she backed out, softening a little, and turned back to Urahara, who had begun speaking again.

"I don't know what caused the shinigami to come, precisely, but your reiatsu has set off the sensors in Squad 12. They began to use them again when you, ah, escaped." He gave an odd smile, and began rummaging through his shop, opening drawers, swiping through shelves, thumbing along jars.

"Another attempt to cover up their mistakes," Hiyori grumbled, rolling her eyes. "Heaven forbid they admit they've done something _wrong._"

"Yes well, your escaping was quite a kick in the teeth for them. Where is it...ah, here we go. This," he said, holding up a small red hoop, with a base and black dials on the sides, "is your mode of transportation back to Hueco Mundo. It is virtually undetectable, by shinigami, hollow or scanner. Much more advanced then the one garganta you have used before." He fiddled with it, chuckling softly at some joke I didn't think we wanted to know.

"Alright, but what about when we're back in Hueco Mundo? What are you going to do then, send the shinigami through the portal after us?" Hitsugaiya narrowed his eyes, scowling.

"Of course not. I'll probably break this, if it comes down to it. But I can buy you a ten minute head start if Mayuri has given them some new form of the garganta. I'm under the impression that Isshin is in the process of stalling them already, is that right?"

"Yes," I said, ignoring the looks from the others.

"Then that's perfect. This has warmed up sufficiently, but here's the problem-"

"It's the size of a soccer ball?"

"No, Arisawa-san, you'll be able to fit through it just fine when it comes down to it. The problem is, only one of you can go through at a time, and that's every thirty seconds, or else you'll get a very nasty mix in the end. Ururu," Urahara called, leaning back a bit, trying to see around the door. She stepped back in, bowing.

"Yes, Urahara-san?"

"Get Jinta and Tessai outside, you're going to have to stall the shinigami on their way, so please get ready." Ururu nodded, heading back out. Urahara set the hoop on the floor, muttering some spell under his breath. The hoop began to grow, until it was tall enough for Rukia to walk through comfortably, though pretty much everyone else would have to duck. Personally, I was a little impressed.

"Sorry everyone, it doesn't get any bigger, but you'll find that once you're in it'll be easier...to walk through." The way he said it made me think that it wasn't walking through the portal that would be the problem. From the next room over there was a crash and grumbling that I thought was Jinta, but Urahara paid it no heed. He stepped back from the hoop, grinning and clapping his hands together.

"Alright, who's first?"

"I'll go," Inoue said, standing up. Urahara nodded, gesturing for her to step up to the hoop.

"Okay Inoue-san, here's a few pointers. Always keep moving. No matter what happens, don't stop. In this instance, going backwards is better than stopping, though your best shot is to go forward. Don't listen. I've found that no matter what I do to try and alter things...you'll hear something as you go through. Unfortunate, but you'll all make it. And don't fight it. The flow will pick you up after a while and then set you down on your stop, so don't bother yourself about anything like that. The trip will be short, though who knows what time will seem like when you're inside."

"Is there anything trying to consume me?" she asked, hands clasped in worry.

"Mm...nothing real. Alright, when I say..." Urahara fiddled with the dials on the side, and the portal started to turn blue. He nodded and told Inoue to move, and she dived right in. The hoop made a static sound, and flashed white.

"Next person, get ready to go." Hiyori climbed to her feet, face set as she waited for it to be safe for her to go through.

"Why are you doing this? What could you possibly gain from helping us," I asked, staring at him as he adjusted the hoop.

"Hiyori, go ahead. Oh, Kurosaki-kun, why must everything I do be dictated by alternate motivation? Hitsuigaiya-san, you're next." He shook his head as if disappointed in my lack of faith in him, waving Toshiro through.

Everyone that had been sitting down was standing by now, apprehension not letting them stay still. The shinigami patrol had stopped, probably at my house, and I wondered what Dad was saying to them. I also wondered just who had been dispatched to take care of us. Byakuya, to make sure we stayed dead? Masafumi, who, despite having sent Hisagi to reassure us when we were still held captive, still probably hated us? Or had they been crazy enough to let Kenpachi loose? That thought chilled me. But what about the weaker shinigami, the vice-captains or those like Ikkaku who were hiding their full power? Was the Soul Society cruel enough to send our _friends_?

"Because every single thing you've done to us-"

"_For_ you, Shinji-san."

"-has been for yourself."

"That's not true and you know it. Next...? Ah, Arisawa-san. Stand here."

Shinji scowled as Tatsuki readied herself, holding her breath.

"I wouldn't suggest that," Urahara said, noting that she hadn't released it yet. "You'll want to breathe in there." I didn't take time to puzzle over what he meant, simply pressing on with my comment from before as Tatsuki charged forward.

"But why are you doing this now?"

"Because...I think that you all need someone on your side other than yourselves." He gestured for the next person to move up, face grim. "This is hardly the first time the Soul Society hasn't taken the blame for the risks they've taken, or the carelessness they've let slide. And I'm sure that you've been told that Central is more than likely corrupted. Sado-san, when you're ready." I became restless, the shinigami had started to move again, and they weren't even half way across town! How were we supposed to escape from them when half of us hadn't even gotten through the portal?

We stopped talking as Ishida went through, then Rukia and Renji. Shinji nodded at me to go first, sensing that I probably wouldn't be able to handle fighting the shinigami that I had been working with for so long. It wouldn't be that hard for him to attack them, considering that they had treated him and his companions like diseased freaks. I stood up before the unassuming little hoop waiting, waiting, time didn't want to cooperate with me, dragging itself through the room.

"Go." I shoved myself forward, gasping as I struggled. Something was on my face, encasing my body as I pushed through the hoop, like diving into a swimming pool. Only, the air didn't want to let me go into that dark, scary place, it wanted to protect me while wet tendrils were grabbing hold of me and dragging me down. Except, this wasn't the local swimming pool. This was my only clean shot at escape.

It was strange traveling through the tunnel the hoop made, similar to traveling through the Senkaimon, in that it was dark and _something_ was constantly swirling around you, but where the Senkaimon had been passive, not holding me back, not shoving me forward, this was definitely malignant. Something kept intertwining in my legs, making me stumble, catching on my arms and holding me back. Breathing was hard, the air felt like it was some animal crawling down my throat, and I wanted to gag, to stop breathing altogether, but I couldn't. Everything was falling away, and it was all I could to do to keep thinking the same exact thoughts; What if I die her? What if the shinigami get me? Is everyone else safe?

Soft sounds, other than the wind and strange groaning, wormed their way up, sounding surprisingly sweet.

_Hey, Ichigo, why don't we go for a walk?_

"M-mom!" I whipped my head around, searching for her, trying to catch sight of my mother. Nothing.

_Ichigo, don't you want to spend time with your own Mom? Come on, it's been years. You've grown into a fine young man in the time that I've been gone!_

"Mom, why are you here? Sh-shouldn't you be in the Soul Society?" I started to slow, turning in every direction to find her, but the voice came from different directions, dancing around my head.

_The Soul Society? Let's not talk about _that _place. Here, come follow me._

"But...Mom, where are you?" I couldn't see anything, the darkness was pressing against my eyes, my ears and mouth. There was no sound other than her voice.

_Ichigo, don't you want to talk? Why don't we stop, take a step back from everything, and then come back later?_

I almost did. I almost stopped, let the invisible hand take mine, but Urahara's warning smashed into me before I could stay still.

_Don't stop. Don't listen._

Don't listen? Why shouldn't I listen to my mom? Why shouldn't I stop and talk with her?

Hands were snatching at me now that I was going slower, tearing my clothes and skin like they were cobwebs. Creatures were bumping into me, making me stumble. I fought against them, because I knew that if I fell on the ground, I would never be able to get back up again. Mom's voice kept calling for me to stop, to hug her, sit with her a while and catch up on everything that had happened.

_Nothing can get us here, Ichigo. You don't have to worry or be scared any more, we can just relax. Don't you love your mother? There's nothing wrong, just slow down. Nothing can get you!_

"I don't believe you!" I started running again, angry at the thought that my mother was trying to hurt me. The moment I started moving again, the creatures I couldn't see were left behind, and even Mom's voice was fading.

_Oh. I never thought I would have raised a boy that was so disrespectful._

I hated this impostor who had stolen my mom's voice, wanted to cut them down, but there was nothing to hurt. I closed my eyes, running blindly, and then there was no ground to run on. My eyes snapped open, I stared at the white sand jumping towards me, and crashed into a dune.

Coughing and spluttering I forced myself up, taking a deep breath once my lungs were free. Renji, the one who had gone before me, was brushing himself off, seeming to have been buried just like I had. I blinked, trying to figure out just how long the trip had been. Hours, or seconds? I stood up, ready to inspect the damage that had been caused in the tunnel, only to find that I was not bloody, clothes and body not cut by unseen claws. I started laughing, a little undone by the whole tunnel-induced head trip.

"The next time I see Urahara, I'm gonna kill 'im."

"If we don't get to it first," Hiyori grumbled as Shinji landed in an explosion of fine sand. "Of all the things to send us through, he _had_ to pick the one that messed with our heads."

"But it was also the most convenient for us," Rukia pointed out, sighing and Inoue brushed some of the sand from her mask."To the shinigami, it must have seemed like we vanished from thin air. He said that it was undetectable."

"Yes well, just know that if going through stuff like that is a common occurrence, I quit," Tatsuki said, shaking her head. We all laughed this time, shaking our heads at her ignorance.

"Oh no," Toshiro answered, folding his arms, "we deal with much different things. More physical than psychological."

"But it's not fun, no matter what it is," I said, rubbing the sand out of my hair and then waved for everyone to start moving. "Come on, let's go show Tatsuki her new home."

_**AN **__**Awesome! They're back in Hueco Mundo~ *does a little dance* I can't wait for all the hijinks they get to pull there-ohmygosh. They have to start training Helyan's brats. I CAN'T FREAKIN' WAIT FOR THE SCENES I HAVE LITTLE IDEAS FOR TO BEGIN. AGH. **_

_**And remember, thank you guys for all of the reviews! They truly and honestly make me happy, hearing your thoughts and theories! Do give me theories!  
**_


	10. Progression is not Progress

_**AN CHAPTER IS OUT! AH MAH GOSH! Well, another transition chapter, but this is more...actiony than the others, at least to me. Enjoy it all the same!  
**_

Tatsuki sighed, tugging off her hood.

"Ichigo, you're forgetting something important again." I paused, looking at her, and then clapped my hands, turning back around.

"Right, teaching time. Who wants to teach Tatsuki how to sonido?" Surprisingly enough, there wasn't anyone springing forward, hand in the air and shouting 'Me! Me! Oh oh, pick _me!'_

Dang it.

Tatsuki scowled, her expression made even more pleasant by the remains of her new mask. She obviously had picked up on the group's reluctance to train her.

"Alright, I know it's not ideal, teaching a totally ignorant newbie a technique, but I _do_ need to know how to pull this crap off." Glaring at everyone, one by one, she folded her arms, just waiting for their response.

"I'll do it." I was a little surprised from where the voice came from. Toshiro looked resigned and just as irritated as Tatsuki, but he sighed and stepped up, making it clear beyond doubt that it had been him speaking. "I'll teach this girl some of the techniques." I nodded, glad to have that over with, and Inoue clapped her hands, grinning.

"Tatsuki-chan, just wait, Hitsugaiya-kun is great with this teaching stuff! He'll have you fixed up in no time!" She nodded at Inoue, smiling, but it seemed a little too tight to be natural.

"We should clear out," Shinji said, stepping back a few steps. "So we don't interfere with her training because of our spiritual pressure." We all agreed, and were gone in a moment. We didn't go that far, a small stretch of dunes separated us. That way, we could still sense each other, but it was far enough away that Tatsuki wouldn't be overwhelmed with our mass of reiatsu.

"Coming here was good for her," Rukia said after a moment. I glared at her and she explained. "I mean, now that she's an arrancar. It helped stabilize her. Didn't you notice how shaky her reiatsu felt? Like she was starving and could hardly stand up."

"I believe there's a reason for that," Ishida murmured, leaning against one of the petrified trees. His hand kept straying to his hilt, as though he expected shinigami to jump out at us. I wanted to say something, we're safe here, maybe, but my judgment hadn't exactly been fantastic as of late. "It seems that newly formed arrancar need a vast amount of energy to power their suddenly highly efficient bodies. We didn't notice it because we were here, where the reishi is thick in the air. It probably didn't help that she was in the midst of us, with our own reiatsu pressing down on her. She still isn't quite strong enough to handle it."

I frowned, leaning against a boulder. Every time we turned around, look, there was another issue that I always seemed to have to deal with.

"So spill, tell us why that girl is an arrancar now." Hiyori scowled at me, assuming that I was the one at fault.

"Look, it's not me-"

"I did it," Inoue whispered, looking at her clasped hands. She was sitting across from me, smiling the same way she had back at Tatsuki's apartment. "I killed Tatsuki. I wanted to eat her; that was the only reason I wanted to go back to Karakura." Her voice was becoming higher and softer, the hysteria coming back. Rukia looked alarmed, staring at first me and then her.

"Inoue, are you...are you sure? I mean..."

"Rukia I'm sure. I know _exactly_ why I asked to go back. I could feel it, the..._need_ to eat her pressing inside me, so much that I wanted to scream. And then... I killed her. Crushed her with my spiritual pressure."

Everyone stared at her, except for me. She had started shaking, hating herself for killing her friend. Inoue took a deep breath, wiping her eyes roughly. She smiled again, trying to reclaim her upbeat demeanor.

"But I didn't kill her all the way," she said with a laugh. "I managed to regain my humanity so that I didn't eat her soul."

"But how did she become an arrancar?" Chad asked, frowning at this issue. "Did you cut her chain of fate?"

"No!" Inoue said, snapping her head up. "I would never, never, _never_ do that, to anyone!"

I frowned at the sand in front of me, thinking back on how Inoue had changed. She'd become...cold, ruthless and almost sadistic while we had been just vasto lordes. I wasn't really sure as to _what_ she would do, what any of us would do these days. Human Inoue wouldn't have completely killed Tatsuki, of course. Vasto lordes Inoue, maybe. Arrancar Inoue...I didn't know. She had changed continually since taking her mask off, so that it was hard to figure out who she was any more.

If she had no qualms about cutting her best friend's chain of fate, what did that mean for the rest of us?

"Then...why is she dead?" Renji looked over in the direction Tatsuki and Toshiro were, trying to figure out this conundrum. "It's not possible for a person to really die unless they become disconnected from their body. And why is she a hollow, and not a whole?"

"If you took a bite out of her, then it would explain why she's a hollow," Shinji pointed out, using the tone reserved for saying something particularly awful, almost cold, devoid of feeling.

"I...I...I don't know!" Inoue gasped, looking horrified. "I don't know if I did. I might have, I might have eaten part of her, oh, _I don't know!"_ Alarmed I grabbed her hand, which was just about to start tearing at her hair. And for some reason, I got really unsettled at the thought of her pulling off more of her mask.

"Hey, Inoue," I said as she looked up, eyes wide and almost insane. "You didn't touch her. I was there, remember? I came in, and trust me, she was fine!" Only dead. "You stopped when you realized that you had killed her. Nothing else happened." I let go of her arm as she gave a shaky nod, slowly pulling back on herself. I exchanged looks with the others, knowing that Inoue was going to seriously crack up soon if we didn't get her somewhere safe. Rukia put a hand on her back as Inoue held herself, trying to hold herself together.

"If Inoue didn't cut her chain...who did?" Ishida asked in a low voice, as if he said it out loud then it would make Inoue start screaming again.

"Somehow..." Renji started, brows furrowed, "I get the impression that her chain...snapped." After this statement, we really had no words. For a time, at least.

"How could such a thing happen, and why to Tatsuki of all people," Ishida asked, putting the question we'd all been trying to figure out how to say before us. "Did it have something to do with the fact that she had been killed by being crush with spritiual pressure? Or was it specifically because of Inoue's spiritual pressure, perverted as it had been by Mayuri?" No one really had an answer to his questions, _our_ questions, so we just stayed silent.

A few moments later I scowled, reaching behind me and grabbing the cap at the back of my neck. I tugged it off, wincing as it was tugged out of my skin.

Ambala's reiatsu caps were more efficient than anything I had seen from Urahara or the Soul Society. Normal ones simply consumed the excess spiritual pressure, like Kenpachi's eyepatch. The ones from Ambala were the size of a bottle cap and made of something akin to sekki seki rock, blocking part of the reiatsu and storing it. The one downside was that in order to work properly, a small spike on the inside of the device had to be inserted into the person's skin.

I waited a moment for the puncture wound to heal, and then sighed.

"How long you think it's going to take Tatsuki to master sonido?"

"She doesn't need to master it, stupid. The kid just needs to be able to _use_ it," Hiyori snapped, folding her arms. As an arrancar, Hiyori was an even more unpleasant figure. Her mask was similar to the one she'd had as a Vizard, and hid the right side of her forehead. The horn was in the same place, but the pattern of red diamonds on her mask was mimicked under her opposite cheek.

"And Hitsugaiya is a good teacher. He had to train a group of students from the academy before he could become a captain, to make sure that he could handle being in a position of power," Rukia told us, shrugging. Renji nodded, sitting up.

"Yeah, I remember that. All of the students came out with a better understanding of the spells that he taught them then the rest of their class. Plus they learned it all faster than anyone could have guessed." I nodded at their words, resting my arms on my knees.

"Well, that's good, I guess. Tatsuki should be done pretty soon then."

A while later Hitsugaiya came to us, telling everyone that we could leave.

"She's ready, but she's drained a lot of her spiritual pressure. We won't be able to go very far."

"Where is she?" Shinji asked, peering around for Tatsuki.

"I left her back there. No need to waste more of her energy." The rest of us joined up with Tatsuki, who looked tired but pleased. After a moment of debating which way Cuidad Muerta was (which involved quite a bit of yelling and a few kicks from Hiyori), we set off, albeit at a slower rate than we normally would have. Toshiro had done his job, and Tatsuki kept up with us. She wouldn't be able to go on long though, she was already panting and starting to slow down.

I didn't want to say anything, because Tatsuki was having a hard enough time as it was, so instead I slowed down. Rukia and Shinji got what I was trying to do, and they eased up on the pace as well, until everyone was going at a rate that I found to be painfully slow. I was just about to say something, but it turned out that I didn't have to.

"Look," Hiyori said, whirling around. "Stop before you hurt yourself."

Tatsuki skidded to a halt, looking angry as she got her breath back.

"I'm...I'm fine, there's no...no need to...stop!" Hiyori put her hands on her hips, scowling a moment. Shinji and I glanced at each other, knowing exactly what was coming next.

Hiyori kicked Tatsuki in the stomach, making her fall back. Tatsuki skidded in the sand a ways, making her own little dune behind her. She probably would have been swearing about now, but I had a feeling that she was just lucky to be waving her limbs. Hiyori stalked over to her, and slammed a foot down on her shoulder. A yell of pain escaped Tatsuki, and she tried to dislodge her attacker.

"Baldy," Hiyori snarled, leaning close, "You ain't proving anything by pressing yourself in front of us, got it? You're just gonna drop dead and be a waste of time if you do. So just _shut up and sit still!"_ Hiyori pressed her foot against Tatsuki's shoulder once more before pulling it away, and plopped down beside her. Embarrassed Tatsuki rubbed the sand off of her face, and mumbled something under her breath. Shinji and I smirked at each other, glad to see that Hiyori now had another punching bag.

We all sat down, and Inoue smiled at Tatsuki.

"Oh, Tatsuki-chan, I'm so happy that you've learned sonido so soon! It took me _forever!_" Tatsuki grinned at Inoue, and we started to relax, talking with each other and starting to joke around.

"Just wait Tatsuki," I said, clapping her on the shoulder. "When we get to Cuidad Muerta, everything's gonna be a whole lot better, just you wait."

At least, I hoped it would be.

"Wait, wait, _wait._ I thought that Las Noches was the big place here, that's what Orihime told me anyways," Tatsuki said with a frown. "Why are we going to this Cuidad Muerta place?"

We exchanged looks, a little surprised.

"Right. Cuidad Muerta is...'the new and improved' Las Noches, in a way," I started, trying to figure out how to describe it.

"Only, don't ever say that to any hollow inside of there," Rukia added, laughing a little. "To them, Las Noches signifies how Aizen tricked them and controlled all of them. When we went there, we found that it had been torn down."

"They won't even say the place's name," Chad said, shaking his head. Tatsuki nodded, shrugging a little.

"Okay, so it's pretty much just like Las Noches, only not."

"Pretty much," Hitsugaiya said, rolling his eyes.

Once we were done resting, we started back up. We weren't that far from Cuidad Muerta, and it wasn't long before we saw the white gates.

"Oh...Tatsuki, one thing before we get inside." Everyone paused, and I turned around to face her. "There's this, uh, guy in there called Helyan Sindervanch. He's kind of like the big shot of the place, runs everything."

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Well...in order to get the supplies we need to go down to Karakura in relative safety, we had to promise to train some of his people."

"...Train them. Okay, what's the point?"

"I'm not completely sure about this, but when he finds out that you're with us, he's probably going to demand that you help train them as well."

"How can _I_ train anyone? I was just made into an arrancar myself!"

"Yeah, but you don't have to teach them techniques like sonido or cero or whatever. You can do hand-to-hand combat. Plus, once you start using your zanpakuto, it's going to be a nightmare fighting you." She grinned at my praise, and nodded.

"Okay, so once we get in there, what should I expect from these people?"

"Expect to be stared at," Hitsugaiya said, and Tatsuki looked around. "You've heard the story, right? How we're all renegade allies of the Soul Society, turned hollow?"

"Uhm, something like that," Tatsuki said, eyes flicking to Inoue and back to Toshiro.

"Well, word's spread around here that we were in the Winter War and defeated all of the espada, so we're kind of like a novelty."

"It's not everyday that you get your enemy to become one of you," Chad said, making us all go quiet.

"Alright," Tatsuki said after a pause, "Anything else?"

"Don't be surprised if someone tries to kill you. Or eat you," Renji said, walking past us and to the gates. Tatsuki stared at him, and then shot an alarmed glance at me. I only shrugged, sighing. Tatsuki would have to figure this out somehow, and I'd hate for it to be when she was attacked.

"It's true. We're freaks in the fact that we can travel together and not try to kill each other-"

"Though we get pretty close," Rukia said as we started to move off again.

"-and not be someone's fraccion. Since we're arrancar, powerful ones at that, I don't think you'll be in too much danger, but there's always going to be some desperate idiot who thinks that he'll get stronger by killing and then eating an arrancar."

"Um, okay," Tatsuki said, voice shaking a bit. "Well, let's get going." She pushed past Renji, and opened the gates to her new home.

No, I corrected in my head. Our new home.

_**AN WHOO! THIS IS THE OFFICIAL START OF THEIR FUN TIMES IN HUECO MUNDO! START USING ALL CAPS WITH ME! YEAH! MAKE SURE TO REVIEW AS WELL!  
**_


	11. Positions Discard

_**AN Hnn, there went my awesome superdeeduper updating streak. But, that aside, here's the new chapter! I kind of stalled the training bit (again, haw haw), but I feel like this chapter is important and shouldn't be cut out. Sooo...enjoy!  
**_

We walked inside the gates, and Tatsuki couldn't help staring. Her head kept turning this way, then snapping that way, and I heard her whisper to Inoue "So...this is what Las Noches was like?" I frowned, trying to feel how it was to be Tatsuki-sure, I'd been thrown into situations without knowing precisely what was happening, but this seemed different. I'd gotten the general gist of things pretty fast, where as with her, she'd had a rough idea as to what was happening, but had to be filled in by her friends, which hardly made up for everything that had happened.

None of us said anything about it, but the whole city had hat feel of being...empty. Like all of its inhabitants had just up and left. I frowned at Ishida, whose face was set in a grimace. He swiped the hair from his face, and his hand settled on his hilt. Where was everybody? Cuidad Muerta was similar to a large city in the World of the Living, buildings that were either homes or shops lining the roads, a stark white bazaar off to our left, but the only thing that moved other than us was the sand dusting the entire place and whatever wasn't fixed down from the wind's grasp.

This time, when we climbed the steps to the hall in the center of Cuidad Muerta, Jacintha was not there to greet us. The ten of us were left to push open the doors, casting uneasy looks back at the city.

The black throne room before us was the same as it had been the first time we had seen it, with Helyan perched high above us. Tatsuki stared up at him, and I could feel the awe flowing off her. Helyan smirked at us, cheek resting on his hand.

"I'm supposing that you're trip went well?" he asked, and even though he was several feet above us I could tell he was smirking.

"Yeah, sure, you could say that," Ishida said casually, and I felt Tatsuki stiffen behind me.

"A few bumps along the way," Renji added, shrugging, "but nothing big."

"That's wonderful to hear. I'm glad nothing went amiss for you...what's this?" He leaned forward, his look of cool politeness giving way to something more. "One too many birdies do I see." He buzzed out of sight, before stepping lightly before us a moment later. Tatsuki started, falling back a step as Helyan's sudden mass of spiritual pressure smashed into her. She gritted her teeth though, scowling as she tried to battle it, but she was still weak from everything that had happened in Karakura. The rest of the group tried standing between the two of them, but Helyan sonidoed beside her, so fast that I couldn't sense him until he had stopped. We all surged back, staring at him as he raised a hand to her mask, looking considerate.

"Well...well, well, well. 'A few bumps' indeed! Oh, it seems you've all picked up a souvenir! Did the shinigami come after you because of this? That might be why it all was so fast." His look of interest intensified, and he leaned a little closer, examining her face. "How did this happen, who changed her? Was it you?" he asked turning to me. "Or maybe Yatsutora-san, Inoue-san?" Helyan had caught the look of horrified shame on Inoue's face, and smiled at her, starting to laugh.

"So you're really all hollows now! I never would have thought, so soon too-"

"Look," I spat, grabbing his collar and yanking his head down to my eye level. "I don't really give a crap about what you are to this place, whether you're it's savior or not, but I'm _not_ about to let you go around and stomp on us like that. _Got it?_"

Helyan only gave me that sickening smile of his, raising his hand as if to show he wasn't going to hit me.

"Oh, _of course,_ Kurosaki-kun. I'm sorry for being so thoughtless. I just got too excited, lost my head. But, of course, she _is_ going to help mentor the arrancar as agreed, yes?" I let go of him sharply, still scowling.

"We never agreed to Tatsuki being part of the deal," I pointed out, a twinge of irritation that these leader types were so freakin' predictable rising in my stomach. "You can't go changing things now."

"Oh no no no, I'm not _changing_ things, you agreed that all of you would be trainers. No take backs, or tricks," he said, smirking. I nodded, teeth gritted as I tried to keep my hand from clawing his face. Helyan was right, I had agreed that all of my friends would train his lackeys. Wonderful.

"Fine!" I barked, turning sharply. "Fine! I don't care. Just send someone when you have the details all figured out."

"Glad to hear it," purred Helyan, and I could just see the look of satisfaction on his face. I stalked down the hall, with everyone trailing behind me. Tatsuki was asking questions again, and a quiet chatter came from the others, but I was fuming so much that I couldn't talk. I hated that Helyan guy, and the first opportunity I had to vex him I'd grab it up. Unfortunately, he seemed like one of those stupid, perfectly happy, can-never-be-made-angry types of guys, like Hanataro. Great.

"Hey..." Tatsuki started, frowning. "That Helyan guy...why do we have to train his cronies? I mean, I can't imagine that you actually _want_ to train them."

"Hardly," Renji scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"We kind of got suckered into it to go to Karakura," I told her, sighing. "Since we have the entire Soul Society on our tails, we needed a lot of equipment to make sure we went mostly unnoticed. But...well. That didn't work out too well."

"Yeah, these morons promised that we would train whoever he wanted, just so we could get some caps." Hiyori scowled, and I remembered how she had yelled at us when we had first told her.

_"What the heck are you guys trying to pull?" she yelled, throwing herself at us. "Train people for Helyan?"_

_"I know it not ideal," Shinji started, raising his hands, "but we had to-"_

_"No we didn't _have_ to! We could have gone there without their help! Heck, I don't even know why we all are going! That place only matters to four of us, anyways!"_

_"We've all lived there, it was home to everyone for at least a little while," Chad pointed out from the wall, arms folded. I nodded, adding my thoughts to his words. _

_"If you really don't want to go, then you can just sit here and twiddle your thumbs. Four of us at least, are going."_

_"And, considering that it's already a done deal, we don't have a choice in training anyone he wants." Rukia frowned, shaking her head. "Seems like either we go, and are his personal trainers, or we stay, and are still his trainers."_

_Hiyori grumbled, stalking off, and I shrugged. _

_"Well, I guess it's more or less decided then. We're going to Karakura to reap the benefits of our little deal."_

"So _that's_ why I didn't feel you guys at all!" Tatsuki exclaimed, eyes brightening. "I couldn't even tell Orihime was in my house until she started speaking. But then when she took off her cape..." Tatsuki glanced at Inoue, and I realized we had left her manta de sombra back in Tatsuki's apartment. Oh well, the shinigami who were following us would just know exactly where we were and that we had eaten Tatsuki. Which wasn't that far off.

"Yeah, otherwise the shinigami would have come the moment we stepped outside the garganta," I added, sparing Inoue from explaining what had happened. Tatsuki nodded, but still looked puzzled.

"But why _you?_ What's in it for him? I mean, gosh I know you're strong and stuff, but there's got to be other strong arrancar out there! Why would he wait for you?"

"Who knows," Hitsugaiya said, shrugging. "These people don't have the same motivation as we do. They don't have hearts, they don't really care about what happens to everyone else."

"So what's our motivation then, because it seems like we're 'those people' now," Inoue asked, cocking her head a little. I smiled blackly, turning my head away from her.

"To stay alive."

"After all," Ishida added, the final note in what had turned out to be a rather gloomy conversation, "What are we other than just the husks of souls?"

No one answered, and we stayed silent.

Generally, we didn't meet that many arrancar when we walked around the main hall, but as we made our way to the rooms, a pair of arrancar watched us as we walked down the hall. One was tall, a woman with long black hair and a couple yellow, almost white streaks in her bangs. She smirked at us, looking away as she pushed herself off the wall she was slouching against, hiding the slight curve of her mask from view. The other one, a girl with long pale blonde hair simply stared at us without emotion. I scowled at them as we passed, and felt Tatsuki turn taking in their faces for as long as possible.

"So...I'm guessing that everyone here looks like a freak?"

"That's about right," Renji said, shaking his head. "Just wait until you see the lower level aduchas. They _really_ give a definition to the word."

"So, this is our room," Rukia told Tatsuki moments later as we went by their room. "The boys' two rooms are up there."

"Right. But...I need some clothes. Obviously I stick out quite a bit in these," she said, picking at her sweatshirt and jeans. I could have sworn that Ishida had that weird spark in his eye when it came to sewing, but Shinji nudged him and Ishida snapped out of it.

"Once someone comes around, we'll tell them to get you some clothes," Hitsugaiya reassured her as I opened the door with a small ring-like contraption Jacintha had given me. She had said that it would unlock or activate everything in our room, such as gusano de seda, while handing me enough of the rings for everyone. I still had yet to figure out what the gusano de seda was, but I figured that it would be important.

Everyone stepped into the room I shared with Shinji and Chad, not quite ready to break up. Plus, you couldn't quite shake the feel that someone was staring at you, waiting, waiting to attack you.

"So," I started, sitting down by a wall, "what do you think of this place, Tatsu-"

And then Inoue screamed.

A coil of fear and instinct released in my stomach, and in a moment Zangestu was in my hand, pointing in Inoue's general direction, though I was unsure as to what had caused her to scream like that. Everyone else had reacted in a similar way, ceros charged, zanpakuto unsheathed and battle stances taken. I'm not sure what we expected, Inoue to be dead on the floor, have (another) hole in her chest, or what, but she was just staring at Rukia, eyes wide and hands clawed around her face. Her face was so like it had been when I had fought Ulquiorra for that final time that it made me sick.

"Inoue, what is it?" Ishida demanded, but I was standing up, looking at the spot on Rukia that Inoue was. Her arm, I had noticed, something was off with her arm. To prove me right, Inoue pointed with a shaky hand, drawing everyone's attention to the large black eight, seemingly burned into the top of Rukia's arm.

Hiyori hissed, while Renji stepped back as if the number were a snake. Rukia stared at it, eyes wide with disbelief.

"That's-that-"

"Octava espada," Toshiro said softly, and it was like the whole thing shattered.

"Everyone, quick, check for a number," Shinji commanded, face serious. I was in shock, _eight?_ Rukia was _eight? An espada?_

Everyone scanned their bodies for numbers, and I suddenly wondered why we hadn't done this _before._ Why had it never occurred to us to check? We knew we were powerful, of course we were, we had beaten top shinigami and arrancar, and yet we never thought that just maybe, we might have been the top? And then another thing hit me.

There were ten of us.

"Hey, Orihime's got one!" Tatsuki grabbed Inoue's arm, and pulled back part of the sleeve. Inoue's sleeves were long, with a gash cut near the shoulders on both sides. Though the incisions, I could just barely see the bottom of number that hadn't been there a moment ago. Everyone held their breath as Tatsuki revealed the number ten on Inoue's shoulder. Her eyes were wide, they kept snapping from her arm to all the shocked faces staring at her.

"Well, we know two. Time to figure out the other eight," Chad said, and everyone started searching even more fervently. It was easy for us guys, basically it was whip our shirts off and there was half our bodies for our inspection, while the girls weren't so lucky. Hiyori took off her jacket, and found a three on her side, while Renji's was a number five on his stomach. One by one, we found everyone's number, except for me. I was reluctant to see just how powerful I was, or, in worst case scenario, _not_ powerful. My power could fluctuate at any time, and I had a feeling that if it went now, it'd never change back.

Ishida seemed to pick up on my reluctance, and smirked, turning away as if he didn't want me to hear. "Hey, do you think that Ichigo doesn't want to find his number because he knows that he's gotten a lot weaker?"

"Yeah," Renji smirked, hiding his mouth behind his hand, turning away also. "It'd be just like him if at the moment we need him the most, he's the only números out of all of us." They laughed spitefully, and a couple of the others joined in. I didn't bother yelling at them, instead I swallowed every nasty thing in my head and yanked off my shirt, showing it to Inoue, who was standing behind me.

"Is there a number?" I demand, gritting my teeth. She gasped, and I turn my head to see her hands were at her mouth. I frowned, looking forward again, wondering if I really was a números.

"Y-yes," she said softly, and I heard her reach out, and jumped as her finger touched my neck, tracing the spine until she reached the tops of my shoulder blades. Inoue didn't say anything, and I was wondering why on earth she was stroking my back, when she spoke.

"Primera." It was a whisper, really, but I heard every syllable. I whipped around, eyes wide, and a small smile was on her face. It wasn't the kind I usually saw on Inoue, either. It was...sad. Sad and hurt and wanting to do good. My attention was torn away from her and her unusual expression when the others caught sight of the apparent one on my spine.

"You-Ichigo!" Rukia yelled, and I turned back around, face caught between a frown and a smirk.

"Yeah?"

"_How come this idiot became the primera?_" Hiyori shouted, trying to leap and me but was caught by Shinji, who dragged her back, hissing in her ear. Everyone was watching me with loaded looks, Hitsugaiya wondering just how powerful I was, Rukia trying to figure out how she felt about that, Ishida guessing the odds against us if we were all espada. Everyone stared, except Chad. He just nodded, a slight smile on his face.

"That's good to hear. I'm glad to see that your efforts were all worth it." His words seemed to settle me, for the moment at least. It hadn't really sunk it yet, any of it. Tatsuki, a hollow, much less an _espada._ All of us, actually, were now suddenly the top hollows, and me...I was the _primera._

There was a slight lull after that, and we all split up to, well, not rest exactly, just recuperate from all the nightmares that had been packed into a few hours. We were all still trying to figure out what espada meant for us, with out much success.

Shinji and Chad had decided to go have a better look around the palace, so I was in the room by myself when it all hit me.

This was all my fault. I had been the one to initially drag everyone down into this nightmare, right from the beginning. I'd thought that when Aizen disappeared, we were done, home free, nothing that bad would happen anymore.

Stupid, stupid me.

Now we were espada, with everyone trying to kill us. What were we supposed to do? I didn't want any of us to have to always have our swords ready in case some uppity brat decided that we weren't good enough. But I couldn't change that, we were stuck. Basic shinigami rule was that once someone was a hollow, they could never go back. Even if we were sublimated, we were public enemies one through ten, and 46 would probably have us thrown back into the hands of Mayuri, or killed then and there.

I stumbled to my feet, trying to drag myself away from this nightmare. Tripping out into the hall, I just barely managed to strap Zangetsu onto my back. Practically blind, I made my way down the hall until I practically ran over Inoue.

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun! I-I didn't-"

"Oh. Hey Inoue." I looked away, and she fell quiet. There was a pause, and she said softly, "Kurosaki-kun...can I...can I talk to you about something?"

"Uhm, sure," I said, looking at her face, which was pinched by some intense emotion I couldn't even name. Tentatively she took my hand, leading me out of the building via sonido. When we stopped, we were once more out in the desert, not far from Cuidad Muerta. She took a few steps away from me, clasping her hands.

"So, what was it you needed to talk to me about?"

"Nothing, it's just that...you know Tatsuki the best out of everyone, and I...I just don't know what to do." I waited, wondering just what she was going to say. "I mean...all of this," she waved her hand to encompass all of Hueco Mundo, "This isn't what I wanted for her, for anyone! And now...now she's here for good. Tatsuki didn't do anything to get involved, and I just...I just..." Inoue trailed off, holding herself as I struggled for words to say. Selfish as it was, I didn't want to be here, to look at this girl and try to shoulder her guilt as well as my own. I wanted to just run away, run far, far away, and never look back. But I stayed there, listening to what she had to say.

"You know the awful thing, Kurosaki-kun? The real awful bit of all of this is that I can't stand the fact that she's stronger! I turned her into a monster, I doom her with all of this, and yet I'm so upset that she's stronger! I thought, that after all this, I wouldn't be the weakest anymore! I want, so _much_ to be a strong one, and yet...Here I am, decima...Kurosaki-kun... I hate myself for it, me taking so much and wanting so much more! And in some moments, I feel like I hate her, too! It doesn't even make sense, hours ago she was just a girl like we used to be, and suddenly she's an espada! Nothing about her being here makes any sense, and I hate not understanding! I hate myself, I hate her, I hate this whole situation, Kurosaki-kun! I just want it to go back, to be perfect, with Aizen gone, all of us back in school, and I know that I'm willing to do almost anything to get it back!" Inoue's voice was raised, hands clenched into fists. She shook her head, an still sounded angry. "I guess that means I really am a hollow, wanting and wanting and wanting, never giving back." She let her hands drop, and they flopped to her sides as if expressing her inadequacy completely. Her face wasn't pinched anymore, instead that pained, self-hating kind of look that I'd begun to know so well.

"I feel so useless and weak, like I always am! Kurosaki-kun, do you know how tired I am of not being able to_ do_ anything? Maybe I thought, just _maybe_ I could stand on my own two legs, and now it feels like it's never going to happen! Everyone is so much stronger, and I know that I'm stronger too! Of course I am, I've survived so much, _changed_ so much, but you're all so much better then me." I looked away, unable to say anything. What did I know about being the weakest of the lot? Absolutely nothing.

"So here I am, going on and on to you, and what must you think?" she asked, voice getting softer, as if she knew I was full of disdain for her. "Just Inoue, being silly and useless and taking up time. That's all."

"No," I said, surprising her, "That's not what I think in the slightest. Well, you are a bit 'silly', as you put it, I mean, you said it yourself. _You are the decima espada._ One of the strongest hollows in all of Hueco Mundo! You still think you're so weak?"

"No," she said reluctantly, a little bashful at my praise. "It's just-"

"Inoue," I said, clapping her on the shoulder and smiling, "Relax. We're going to start training soon. Who knows what you're capable of! So don't start giving up on anything yet."

"Yet," she said, mouth quirking into an unwilling smile. There was a pause, in which I was starting to step away, when she caught my hand. I hesitated, wondering what she was doing now, and she gave a small smile. "Kurosaki-kun...I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For forgetting what it feels like." Inoue's smile softened in quality, less reproachful and more accepting. As if the moment hadn't happened, she started to walk away, taking up a brisk stride."Come on Kurosaki-kun! If we're going to start training Helyan's arrancar, we better get rested up!" I stared after her as she sonidoed towards Cuidad Muerta, and sighed, figuring that there would always be a part of Inoue that no one would ever really get.

We made our way back to our rooms, and I saw that a few hollows had crept back into the city. I was about to mention it to the others, whom we had just met out in the hall, when a soft voiced arrancar walked up to us.

"Excuse me? Sindervanch-sama says that it's time for training, if you'd follow me, please." We all exchanged looks, grinning in spite of ourselves.

Time to go bust some heads.

_**AN Huzzah, more breakdowns! I love 'em, if ya hadn't noticed. XD I'm really happy that we get to see more of Helyan. He's kind of under developed, but I like his personality. Anywuzzles, here's the usual plea for reviews! They are very near and dear to my heart.  
**_


	12. Catechized

_**AN OH WOW WE'RE ACTUALLY AT THE TRAINING BIT, BECAUSE I THINK THINGS HAVE BEEN KINDA BORING! *and also so the fans do not murder me* I'm actually quite pleased with this, much to my surprise! But, enough of that, let's actually read it.  
**_

We stood lined up in a giant white hall, large enough to be comparable to Urahara's training grounds. Though, where his had been rocky and irregular, this place was all about pristine corners and exact lines. I wasn't used to training in such a neat and breakable place. Generally, the training ground was more likely to break _me._ But it wasn't exactly about me anymore.

It was about Tatsuki, and Renji and everyone else that was with me in this little adventure, all of us espada. We were the survivors, who were simply trying to keep on surviving.

All ten of us stood before a crowd of about thirty arrancar, and I couldn't help but wonder how on earth I was supposed to do this. Or rather, how _we_ were supposed to do this, though the shinigami veterans weren't exactly the ones that first jumped to my mind. I knew they had experience with this, I had even been trained by some of them. No, it was more the people from Karakura I was worrying about. If I had no idea what to do, then none of us did.

Instead of dwelling on this depressing fact, I examined the many faces before us. It was a fine mix of male and female, big and small, and what looked like young and old. Several caught my eye, some that I had seen around the place and a couple I'd actually exchanged words with. I noticed the two female arrancar from earlier when we had been showing Tatsuki the rooms; both standing in the crowd. Frowning, I looked at them in greater detail, wondering if they were really worth anything or were just there for a quick shot to power. Boy did they have another thing coming.

I looked at the Shinji and Renji, who had been more or less elected to be the leaders of our little course, aside from me. They nodded, and we stepped forward.

"Alright, listen up!" Renji shouted, scowling already. The whole group fell silent, eyes turned to us. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the general feeling just oozing off of them. _We don't want you here, no matter what you are supposed to be able to do. You are nothing to us, nothing but something to occupy our time._

"Look, we're here on Sindervanch's orders. In other words, _we do not care what happens to you_," Renji started off in a manner that invoked nothing but affection and trust. I suppressed a snort, adding in my own bit.

"You may think you're the greatest thing since you got here, that just because you have a special set of cronies that look up to you and refer to you as the top dog, figure it this way-in the real world, you ain't worth squat. There's bound to be some other little monster running around that's better than you, hiding out in the desert because they don't want to bother coming here." Obviously, there were titters (read 'angry outbursts') at what I said, and I wasn't even done yet. "And honestly, I don't think any of you are interested in being here. Not a single one of you thinks that we can teach you something that you don't already know. Fine, walk out. See if you know how to withstand a cero-charged zanpakuto in the back."

The three of us snarled at them as the arrancar exchanged a few words, trying to see if we were serious. I was deadly serious, I wasn't afraid to hit these punks until they really weren't anything but mush. At least they wouldn't have that annoying god-complex anymore.

"Now, do you have any qualms about this?" Shinji asked, his voice, while not friendly, wasn't the hostile tone of disinterest Renji and I had assumed. Almost instantly a hand shot up, mocking us and our supposed authority. I frowned at it, noticing that it belonged to the dark haired arrancar we all had seen earlier in the hall.

"Who says that you are worth our time?" she asked, a polite smile in her voice, while her face only held an unimpressed smirk. "Why are you worth any more squat than us?"

Shinji, Renji and I exchanged glances with the rest of our friends, looks varying from humored to annoyed. Shinji nodded at her though, a smile similar to her own on his face.

"What's your name and number?" he asked, and her smile became a little more interested.

"Vermalda Urdur, numero viente," she said, tugging on her high collar to expose her neck, showing the large black twenty engraved into her skin.

"Alright, Vermalda-san," he said good naturedly, nodding. "Why did Helyan pick such strange newcomers? What makes us any better than you? Simple. We are the espada." A thrill of alarm went up at his words, people looking around wildly as if looking for someone to jump out, yelling 'Haha, just screwin' with you!'. Obviously, no one did.

"And more then that, we did more before becoming hollows than you could ever _dream,_" Hiyori said, speaking for the first time. The effort of staying silent must have nearly killed her.

"Does a group of shinigami and humans breaking into Las Noches ring any bells to you?" I asked, noticing that the more we said, the more agitated the crowd before us got. Not only did they hate the fact that I said the forbidden 'LN' words, but they had at least heard of us, and knew that we had defeated all of the previous espada without even having been arrancar, and in their minds, infinitely stronger. "Well, here we are, in the heirro."

"We were on par with and have defeated the shinigami captains, killed the previous espada. You wanna say that you're better than us? Okay, go right on ahead, say it. We'll cut you down where you stand," Renji added, putting his hand on his zanpakuto for effect. Everyone waited for something to happen, us to continue our threatening lecture or for someone to bolt, but instead it was just...Silent.

Finally Rukia broke in, clearing her throat as if she were in a meeting and addressing higher ups.

"So," she started, putting her hands on her hips, "Let's get going. All ten of us more or less specialize in physical or magical attacks, and some have their own variety," she said, and instantly I thought of Inoue, Chad and Ishida. They were fairly 'special'. "So, we'll all split up, and you chose who you want to go train with."

We jumped apart, and the thirty or so arrancar we were supposed to be training shuffled off into groups according to who looked the most promising.

Well, no, they weren't all _arrancar._ Most of them were, the amount of their masks left varying from only a small chunk with a handful of teeth to covering most of their face. And then there were the vasto lordes that were powerful enough to attain a humanoid form without removing their masks. Some were large, lumpy and bumbling, looking more like trolls than anything. Others though, they stood tall and proud, muscles defined under skin that looked like porcelain, but had the strength of diamonds. Those few hollows unsettled me, they were raw and wild, in this for the chance to draw blood and kill more efficiently, more sadistically, cut their enemies until they died and even after. Had we been like that as vasto lordes, before finally deciding to become arrancar?

Had _I_ been like that?

I blinked, snapping back to the present and all that I was supposed to be doing. Already the giant hall had filled with the sounds of swords clashing, grunts of exertion, and the slight hum of techniques being used. Rukia was already showing people tricks with the bala, Renji teaching a couple of arrancar about how intimidation was almost as powerful as a large spiritual pressure. Everyone had at least a couple people lined up, waiting, listening, and a slight pang filled me when I realized that while we were teaching these people, both the new espada and Helyan's people had just about the same set of pros and cons.

We were training them, revealing 'all' our secrets, and they learned all of our tricks, but, at the same time, we learned their weaknesses and their styles. If-when-we fought them, it would come down to strength and cunning, not the trickity-tricks we learned from each other.

Glancing around, I realized for the first time that my list of people to teach was nonexistent. I knew that I should have felt at least a _little _insulted, but I could only feel the wave of relief. I turned back to the hall at large, observing Chad as he explained how moving your body just so made a punch at least twice as strong as it had been before to a small arrancar male, just higher than my stomach. He seemed to not say anything, but there was obviously _some_ sort of communication between him and Chad, a link sensed only by the nonverbal. The two of them shifted just so, dodging some sort of black blast sent by a tall vasto lordes, who was being instructed by Hitsugaiya. It was bizarre, not only how the entire group was working in a way as to be able to function, yet still not interfere with each other.

"Primera-sama?" I looked around, a little surprised. A small girl stood beside me, bending over into a bow as I watched. Not only was I getting a 'sama' from everyone, I was officially Primera. The girl cocked her head, waiting for me to answer, and I saw that she was about the size of Jacintha. But whereas Jacintha was chipper and had dark hair, this girl was solemn at the very least, and her hair and skin were almost white. The remnants of her mask was merely a necklace of what I guessed had once been her jawbone and a few teeth.

I dragged my attention from her mask to her eyes, which was a mistake. Her eyes were large and black, and with just a glance I knew they were more than hostile. Those eyes were telling me that they were willing to wait as long as they had to, until they could claw everything out of me.

"Uh, what is it?"

"What is it you teach?" she asked politely, and her voice was deep, like she was a full grown woman, not a little kid. It didn't take long for me to decide that this little kid really unsettled me.

"Physical combat. Hand-to-hand, with a weapon, you name it."

"Will you teach me, Primera-sama?"

I stared at her, wondering why she was asking so many freakin' questions. Like I really had anything better to do.

"Sure. Let's see what you can do first." I sonidoed away, assuming a battle stance and called out to her. "Come anyway you can!"

She stayed still, and I focused everything at her, blocking out the sights, sounds and spiritual pressure of everyone in the hall. Nothing happened for a moment, but then her spiritual pressure _bucked._ It dipped, and then surged as she leaped at me, or rather, _flew._ She was in midair, arms pulled back over her head, ready to smash in my head.

I ducked out of the way, grabbing her leg and spinning us around and around until I'm sure we looked more like a giant top than anything. Somehow, the girl reached up, sinking her fingers into my hand, shortly followed by the other. It only took me a second to realize what was going to happen, and I had about five seconds to prevent it.

This little brat was going to try and rip my arm off. I wasn't exactly in the mood to find out just how high speed my regeneration was, so I thought frantically how to deflect it. I couldn't let her go, that'd just give her more pack to her punch. I thought about punching her in the face, but I had a better idea. I grabbed onto her arm, shifting my spin so that I could easily slam her into the ground.

The girl showed her first sign of emotion since she came up to me, eyes widening, whether it was with alarm or hate I wasn't sure. She tried pulling herself up over my arm and out of harm's way, but my grip was too tight. Her arm smashed into the floor, making the stone spider web and indent around the impact. She didn't miss a beat, reaching over and grabbing my arm with her good hand, determined to break it. I laughed, amazed at how persistent she was, and let go of her, jumping back.

I waited for what she'd do next, but she didn't do anything other than pick herself up, one arm hanging oddly at her side, small streaks of blood running down her arm from where the bone had shattered. She snarled at me, and then vanished. I searched for her frantically, and then realized what she was doing. I almost laughed, this little girl was after my own heart. She was darting around the entire hall, like I had done to Byakuya when we had fought at the Sokyoku, trying to confuse me and direct my attention to where she was, and not what she was doing. I watched her mentally, tracking her reiatsu, until she appeared above me again, flying down at me with her hand charging a cero.

I wondered what she was going to do, she could have shot me when she had first disappeared, but as I caught sight of the blood lust in her eyes and realized that she was determined to defeat me in the most painful way possible. I had a hunch that she wasn't going to release the cero, no, she was going to charge it and charge it until it landed in my stomach.

I caught her hand, making the girl crashing into the ground in a rather awkward manner. She stared at me, eyes wild, trying to regain her feet as the cero was loosed, up over my head to fry a pillar. I smiled at her, more than a little alarmed at how bent on defeating me she'd been.

"I thought we were working only on physical combat."

The girl's eyes lost the wild fury, returning back to their flat emptiness.

"Ah, yes, Primera-sama," she said as I let her go, returning to her air of formality. "Forgive me for my lapse." She bowed, and turned away, saying "Please excuse me, I need to get my arm seen to."

"Yeah, no problem-hey wait! What's your name and rank?" I still couldn't quite get a grip on her, considering that she'd only really let her spiritual pressure show at the end. She smiled, and I again felt uneasy around her.

"Eris Pan Asaea, Primera-sama. Rank trece." After that, Eris turned and walked out of the hall, the commotion around her seeming to not affect her at all. I stared after her, feeling that there was something wrong with her. Hitsugaiya came up beside me, looking bored and vaguely irritated.

"What was all that about, Kurosaki?"

"Oh, I don't know. She asked me to train her, and... things almost got out of hand." He scoffed, rolling his eyes and my choice of words, and sighed.

"What about you, don't you have someone to teach?"

"They're working on target practice," Toshiro said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at a group of three arrancar, all trying to hit some strange sort of dummies, all dancing around.

"What are _those,_" I asked, staring at them.

"Dunno. Little soulless puppets that I guess Helyan had left for us. Who was she?"

"Some kid named Eris Pan Asaea. She... I don't know. One moment she was all serious and respectful, and the other-"

"She was trying to kill you, I saw."

"Who didn't?" I asked, shaking my head. "You know, it's a shame that the arrancar aren't numbered like the shinigami," I said quietly, thinking about how it was only the espada who were ranked according to power. "I mean, it'd be a heckova lot easier if we knew just how strong these people are."

"But that didn't always work. Obviously Madarame Ikkaku wasn't simply 3rd in the Squad 11, and I'm doubtful about that Ayasegawa Yumichika as well."

"Yeah but that's different...Toshiro?"

"_Hitsugaiya._"

"Whatever. Just tell me...can you see my number right now?" I tried to keep my voice from being tight, a thought as to why I had been so unnerved by Eris suddenly hitting me.

"No. You'd have to take your jacket off for anyone to see it, unless they pulled down the collar." He looked at me flatly, arms folded, not at all seeing where I was going with this.

"Then how did she know I was Primera?" I asked softly, looking at the door where Eris and a whole lot of secrets had just vanished.

_**AN Nnn, I like Eris. She reminds me vaguely of Ulquiorra, but...better. In a little kiddy, female kind of way. ...Which is a really weird, not-right thought.**_

_**More then that though, please review! As usual, I do love them, and they encourage me as well.  
**_


	13. Tragedy Brings Contention

_**AN Fff, there is the update! Huzzah huzzah! It took me forever to get started on this, but once I started typing, it was tough to stop, which I think you're all happy about. :) And I swear, I was going to have this out four days ago, but was being meeeean to me, and wouldn't let me add a new chapter... But it will now! *runs off to update before temperamental websites become temperamental again*  
**_

Frowning, I turned away from the door way and back to Hitsugaiya, who just shrugged.

"Maybe she saw your rank when you were jumping around," he said, then turned back to the kid he was teaching. "Hit it with the charge or your hand will explode!" yelled Toshiro, not missing a beat. The dark haired arrancar he was yelling at glanced around, then released the blue light pulsing around his hand, probably by accident, if his alarmed expression and the fact that it launched over his own head into the ceiling was anything to go by. Hitsugaiya sighed, putting a hand to his head, then sonidoed over to the kid, probably to bark at him more.

I shook my head, looking around at everyone else. No other hollows had approached me yet, so I stuck with supervising the whole lot. The ones focusing on physical combat obviously made the most noise, cracking the walls and making people jump out of their way. Others, like Inoue and Rukia showed techniques that they'd managed to figure out in the time that we'd been hollows. I frowned, never really having seen any of these moves before. Then I remembered how each one of us would take long breaks from the group, going off so we'd be able to train by ourselves.

A pang of...I don't know what started in my stomach. I scowled, taking a step back. The thought that we were drifting apart as friends wasn't something I could allow myself to think. Each and every one of us depended on the other nine, to keep ourselves sane and to hold on to whatever was left of our humanity. That and I had the feeling that if we started to pull away from each other, even a little bit, the arrancar all around us would jump in and use our weakness for their own gain.

Eventually the training session came to an end, and the only person I had really worked with was still Eris. The hollows we were training left, and the espada gathered together, forming a huddle as we exited the room as well.

"How'd it go with you?" Rukia asked, hands settling on her hips.

"Uhm...okay, I guess," I told her, wondering if shattering my trainee's arm was qualified as 'good' or 'bad'.

"It certainly didn't _look_ good," Ishida said, swiping his hair out of his eyes. "It _looked_ like you were going to kill each other. Really Kurosaki, I thought that you had some ethics, attacking a little girl."

"She wasn't a little girl!" I snapped, rolling my eyes. "You know that."

"Still, pull your punches a little, or you'll kill more hollows than you train," Shinji said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, once I actually _get_ hollows to train. She was the only one to come to me the entire time! I don't get it; you guys had about five, each!" I sighed, putting my hands in my pockets as we entered a new hallway, lit with moonlight that was let in by massive adjacent windows.

"Ever think that you had no one come to you because you were a little _daunting?_" Tatsuki asked, rapping me on the shoulder. I frowned, looking at her. Had I really been _daunting?_ I didn't see how, I was just some kid...that happened to be primera. But just because I was stronger than them hadn't stopped hollows from wanting a fight before, so why were they suddenly hanging back at the opportunity to become _stronger_?

Tatsuki sighed, seeing my expression and looked at the others.

"Is it always like this with him," she asked, jabbing a thumb in my direction. A couple of them scoffed, and Rukia even snorted.

"Oh no," she told Tatsuki, "it was _much worse._ It was a nightmare to be around him if you were trying to be stealthy, he was like a tap going at full force all day! It's amazing he didn't pass out from just how much he was venting!" Everyone had a hearty laugh, I wondered why I always seemed to be the butt of the jokes these days.

"Yeah yeah yeah, laugh away, just remember-_I'm_ the one that had enough spiritual pressure to _handle_ being an open tap all day." They all fell abruptly silent, and I smirked. Oh how victory was sweet.

We were silent for a moment, and then someone put a hand on my shoulder. I looked around, seeing Chad, looking worried. I cocked my head, wondering what he wanted, and he glanced around.

"Ichigo...I can't help but wonder...what about the Soul Society?" The silence suddenly became a lot more tense, shoulders rising and jaws gritted. I turned back to face forward, casually searching to see if anyone was near enough to hear what he had said. Even though I no longer had any love for the Soul Society, I didn't want a hoard of blood-thirsty hollows attacking them when they were suffering such heavy causalities.

I blinked, shaking my head slightly as another surge of discomfort started inside me. Why was this happening more and more? I couldn't tell what caused it, I suddenly felt tired, so very tired. Everything was moving so fast, and I could barely hope to catch it.

Scowling, I batted aside my perplexity at this, and focused on Chad's words. After a pause, I said "What about them?"

We were nearing our rooms now, they were just down the hall, but Chad didn't seem able to wait. He turned me around, hands gripping my shoulders with a force that would have made my bones creak, had I not been made out of tougher stuff than humans.

"Ichigo, we can't just leave them the way it is! With the nine of us gone, how can they possibly recover? It was difficult enough when Aizen defected, they're still trying to regain the ground they lost, and with our abse-"

"Chad."

He stared at me, looking like he wanted to continue speaking, but I glared at him. Worry had loosened his tongue, and I didn't want him saying anything about the Soul Society. Chad looked frustrated, then dragged me into our room, the others trailing after in a slightly shocked silence.

Once we were all inside, someone closed the door, and Chad continued, though quieter than before.

"The Gotei is weak, Ichigo. They were once our allies, and on top of that, the captains think that 46 is corrupted! We have to do something."

"Yeah? Like _what?_" I didn't like the look Chad was giving me, almost reproachful under his shock. "Look, _they_ were the ones who caused all of this! They _kidnapped us,_ gave us a living nightmare to go through afterwards, and now you want to _help them?_"

"I understand how he feels," Renji said, stepping forward. "I mean, we can't just _abandon_ them, we're still on the same side! Just think about it, their most powerful allies have just been turned into their enemies-"

"Exactly," Shinji said, scowling. "We're not on the same side, Abarai-kun. You just said it yourself, we're their enemies. If we show up anywhere near a shinigami, they will try to kill us. Their duty demands it. They're not going to listen to us, no matter what we say. Not while we've been branded traitors, and definitely not while we have these on our faces," he finished, pointing at the mask on his face.

"But you don't-"

"We don't _know that?_ What do you think we've been doing for the last hundred years?" Hiyori demanded, glaring at him in a way that I'd never seen before. She seemed...almost hurt. "What do you think the Vizards have been going through all this time while you've screwed around, thinking that you're on top of the world. You're a _fukutaicho,_ nothing can hurt you, you are one of the most respected beings in Soul Society, nothing can go wrong." Her every word was laden with contempt as she set out a scenario that seemed all too true.

"Hiyori," Shinji said warningly, setting a hand on her shoulder.

"No!" she yelled, smacking his hand away. "I'm tired of these kids having no idea what we've been through!"

I waited, suddenly wondering about these two. What _had_ they experienced, I didn't really know other than they'd gained hollow powers and then had been kicked out of the Soul Society, gaining the kill on sight status that everybody ignored. From my time spending with the different Vizards, I'd guessed that they hadn't _chosen_ their fate like the Soul Society said. More lies, I guess.

"So...do you mean that you didn't use illegal techniques to gain your powers?" asked Toshiro, frowning. I wondered what story _he'd_ been given. Did they tell all the new captains and vice-captains that the Vizards were ruthless in their quest for power, or that they were backstabbers, like they did with us?

"Of course not," Hiyori snarled, shaking her head. "We were all tricked; me, Shinji, Kensei, Love, everyone. And then when they found us..." She closed her eyes, teeth grit as she looked away.

"When they judged us, those of the 46 at the time blamed...a good friend of ours," Shinji continued, arms folded. "And regarded us as dumb animals, who could not think or feel. We were to be dealt with as normal hollows. Later, do you know what they told the officers? The ones to come into the squads?"

"They...they said that there was a band of rogue shinigami that were sentenced to death for the illegal experimentation of hollow powers on themselves," Renji said, voice getting weaker. "They only told the vice-captains and higher, no one else was supposed to know..."

"That's right. And this was over a hundred years ago. And you know what the real kick in the teeth is?" Shinji's eyes narrowed, a snarl so unlike him on his face that I was surprised. Chad shook his head, and Hitsugaiya looked away, probably already having guessed what Shinji was about to say. "The person who did all of this...was your very own Aizen Sosuke."

I fell back a step, refusing to believe that all of this, every single bit was Aizen's fault. Could he really have affected _so much, _and for so long_? _Inoue gasped, and Rukia held onto her shoulder, steadying them both.

"But...why tell us this?" Inoue asked, shaking.

"To show you just how much they don't care. Central? Ha, please, you think that the shinigami will welcome your intervention, Abarai-kun? Why would they listen to a hollow who has eaten some of their comrades, broken out of Soul Society and become an _arrancar? _Especially when he's saying that they should overthrow Central 46? We're not on their side anymore, you shouldn't think about their welfare. Just watch your back when it comes to them."

"But we need to do something!" Rukia started, brows furrowed. "I know that they've betrayed all of us, but how can we just leave the shinigami to crumble? They uphold the balance! If they don't do their jobs, if they don't _exist_, then what's to stop the hollows from eating the whole world to extinction? There's no one left, we have to help them!"

"Why should we?" Ishida asked, fists clenched. "We all know that when it comes to their mistakes, the Soul Society isn't going to fess up quick. They do whatever they please, and if you get in the way, they kill you. That's what happened to the Quincy, and they were innocent! Why should we run in and help them out of their own hole, again?"

"You're willing to condemn the innocent over a grudge that you've held for years?" Hitsugaiya asked coldly. He was leaning against the far wall, closest to the door, frowning at everyone. "The Soul Society isn't just Central 46 and the shinigami, they are innocent people living there as well. Friends, children, mothers and fathers. People you _know_. Are you willing to have them die to get the last dregs of your revenge?"

Hitsugaiya's words froze me, and I knew that, despite my bitterness, I didn't want to let the shinigami go on unprotected. They protected the wholes from the hollows, the kids who were separated from the rest of their families, or the parents who had died before they ever should have. Like my mom.

But Toshiro was continuing, tugging me out of my sentimental thoughts.

"The wholes left in the World of the Living, or the ones who are safe in the Rukongai will be the ones that are going to be affected, and you're okay with that? That's pathetic. The fact that Central is no longer a pure organization isn't cause to ruin the lives of everyone. You're blinding yourself by something you can never change."

Ishida whirled on Hitsugaiya, angrier than I'd seen him in a long time.

"So we're supposed to help them? If you think that, why didn't you help Aizen and the hollows two years ago?"

"That's entirely different," snarled Hitsugaiya, pushing himself upright. "I can't believe you even _suggested_ that." His hand settled firmly on his zanpakuto, and I could see that he was about ready to attack Ishida.

"Hey, stop it!" I yelled, pushing myself forward. "What are you doing, you can't start fighting over _this!_"

"What are you talking about, Ichigo?" Ishida demanded, glaring at me now. "I thought you were all for not helping the Soul Society! Make up your mind!"

"He's right," Inoue said, eyes set. "We can't start fighting amongst ourselves, it's not going to help anything!"

"Then why don't you help us decide what to do?" Renji snapped, and I could already see that the colder, harsher part of Inoue was coming out, the part that I had thought, _hoped_ had vanished once she had become an arrancar.

"Hey, don't you start turning on her," Rukia hissed before Inoue could do more than open her mouth. "All you've really done is cause agitation, and now you want to go help the Soul Society!"

"That's because I have at least a little loyalty left," he spat, and I could see that he had gone too far from the way Rukia lurched back, eyes going wide. Arguments were breaking out all over, and even Chad was jumping into the fray. The longer I watched, the worse it got, Hiyori attacking Hitsugaiya and Ishida yelling at Shinji, even though they shared the same opinion, Renji against Inoue and Rukia. Everyone, it seemed, except Tatsuki.

"..._they are our enemies, don't you get it?_ Why would we help them?"

"Because they hold the whole world in order!" Hitsugaiya hadn't taken his hand off of his zanpakuto yet, but he didn't look like he was going to draw it anymore.

"What order? Liars run the place, the Rukongai inhabitants are dying from disease and murders, and you say that the whole place is better _with _them?"

"...Oh yeah Rukia, why not just attack them next? Go ahead, cut down every single shinigami you see!"

"Why do you want to help them?"

"Because...haven't we done enough to these people?" Renji's fists were clenched, as if he wanted to hit her.

"They're the ones who did this to us! We've done nothing but help!" Inoue cried, surprising fury making her fierce.

"Oh, why don't you just shut up," he snapped, snarling at her. "It's not like you know _anything_ about the Soul Society, you're not a shinigami, and you didn't even fight with us. You've been nothing but a burden, and you know it."

That was crossing the line. I took a few swift steps towards him, fist clenched, and punched him in the jaw. Renji wheeled, then recovered, fist hurled towards me. I ducked, ready to kick him-

"_Everyone, SHUT UP!"_

Just like that, the whole group froze, then their eyes slowly wheeled around to face the person who had shouted. It was Tatsuki, standing in front of the door, glaring at everyone. I saw that Renji and I weren't the only ones who had starting fighting, Hitsugaiya had partially unsheathed his zanpakuto, a small sphere of light fading from around Shinji's hand.

"Just look at yourselves," Tatsuki barked at us, desperation so prominent in her eyes. "You're all at each other's throats, just because you disagree! Think about it, this is ridiculous! I know that I'm just some dumb girl who hasn't been involved in any of this, but at least I can see that we're breaking apart!"

Her words echoed something that I had thought, only hours before, and shame filled me. Each and every one of us depended on the other nine? We were the best of friends that had survived so much, that could survive so much more? Che, that was it.

Already everyone was releasing the tension in their muscles, backing down under her chastisement. I glanced at Renji, whose fists had loosened, shoulders slumping, and felt a little worse.

"We all know that we can't do a _thing_ for the Soul Society right now! It's not about whether we should, whether we want to, we just _can't._ We're hollows now! It doesn't matter how it happened, it doesn't matter why right now, just that we _are._ They aren't going to listen to us, and from what I've heard, they didn't listen to you all that much before! They're going to have to deal with the whole problem on their own, they've been fine for thousands of years, they'll be fine for just a little longer. We just have to wait until we're better, back to normal."

"But-"

"No 'but's, Abarai. There's nothing we can do. Do you really think that the hollows here would even _let_ us go to the Soul Society, much less to _help_ them?"

"No," Shinji said after a pause. "There's no way that would happen. If anything, once they heard about it, they would go there to take advantage of the weakness."

"That's what we need to stop," Chad started, but Rukia cut him off.

"We can't let ourselves do that, Sado-kun. All we can do is sit and wait for the best. The captains already suspect something is wrong, Kyoraku-taicho told us that when he and Ukitake-taicho helped us escape. They'll handle it. It may take a while, but they'll get the job done. But we _cannot_ let anyone know about the instability right now, if they don't already know. The screaming we've done in the last few minutes would be enough to alert everyone single person in Cuidad Muerta." There was a small amount of embarrassed shuffling, as we all more or less conceded that we'd done a pretty sucky job of keeping quiet.

Everyone exchanged glances, and apologies were exchanged, shame coating every word.

"Inoue...Rukia...I'm...I'm sorry," Renji said, the beginning of a flush creeping up his neck. "I don't know why I said those things, it's just..."

"Hey, it's alright," Rukia said, clapping him on the arm. Inoue nodded, smiling. "If anything, we started the fight," she said courteously. I could still tell that his words had hurt though, and he probably could as well.

The tension went out of everyone else, and we became more relaxed then we had been in a long, long time. But then Inoue was voicing a small worried thought that had probably weighed on everyone's minds.

"...But...Tatsuki-chan...we can only help the Soul Society if we're not hollows. So...how are we supposed to become whole again?" Inoue asked, and the sadness in her voice was strong enough that I wanted to cry. Tatsuki looked at her, trying to think of an answer.

"We'll find it." It took me a moment to realize that I had said it, but once I did, I knew that it was the truth. "We'll become normal again just you wait and see. While we're here, we'll do it. The hollows, their labs are pretty impressive, even if they _don't_ have a Mayuri," I said, and we all gave a forced laugh. Mayuri was still too horrifying in our minds for us to joke lightly about him. "Don't worry, Inoue. We'll find a way, and then we can go back to normal life. This...it'll all be a bad dream, in the end."

She smiled, nodding, and I knew that she had to believe me. If she didn't, then what was the point of retaining her humanity? What was the point for any of us? We all had just proved that each and every one of us was only too close to the line between us and other hollows. It was our goal, becoming human again, that kept us in line.

"So," Tatsuki said, clapping her hands together and making me jump. "What do you girls say about helping me figure out how to find a new outfit? This get up," she said, gesturing at her jeans and sweatshirt, "this isn't going to fly for very long."

"Who says we'd want to help you find new clothes, baldy?" Hiyori snapped, hands on her hips.

"Fine then, you can watch. Orihime, Kuchiki-san?"

"Hey, I didn't say I wouldn't do it," she said, grabbing Tatsuki's sleeve and dragging her out of the door. Everyone laughed, and dispersed to their own rooms.

That was it then. There were only two things left to keep us going, to keep us all sane. Surviving and finding a way to become human.

Sounded like fun.

_**AN OH NOES! THE GROUP IS FALLING APART!...Sort of. But hopefully they will hold on to each other as they try to get back to 'normal'. But you never know.  
**_


	14. Jumping Tracks

_**AN Ah, finally, I updated this story! It's not on the same track as usual, but don't worry, we should be able to get back to the Hueco Mundo storyline soon. At least I didn't leave you hanging with Ichigo and company battling for their lives (and losing them to certain espada), and go off on some aggravatingly not Las Noches arc chapters like certain manga-ka did. Pfffft I'm still bitter about that XD Enjoy the chapter.  
**_

A slight frown creased Yamamoto's forehead as the captain's meeting began. The whole Kurosaki situation was becoming troublesome; he should have known to keep closer tabs on that Kurosaki boy from the beginning. It appeared that Masafumi and his patrol had come back empty handed from Karakura, unless you counted some of the empty words of Urahara Kisuke as something of worth. Now they were here to discuss the problems that group of rogues posed.

"...because of that, we have reason to believe that Kurosaki Ichigo and his comrades are, while not necessarily in league with Kurosaki Isshin and Urahara Kisuke, willing to help each other. As I said before, Yamamoto-soutaicho, we _need_ to keep a better watch on those two, and all of the other significant people outside of the Gotei's control! They are loose ends, and need to either be tied, or _cut._" Masafumi began to snarl, seemingly unconsciously. He was famous for having a cold hard hatred for 'loose ends', and showed them all the ferocity of Kenpachi on the battlefield. The other captains regarded him silently, agreeing and disagreeing with him respectively.

"Masafumi-taicho, I understand your concern, but the point of interest is not on what _may_ be a liability, but what _is_ at the moment."

Masafumi's snarl changed to a scowl beneath Yamamoto's reprimand. He straightened, assuming a more formal tone as he did whenever he was hiding what he really felt.

"Yes, soutaicho. The rogues...where not in Karakura when we reached the end of their trail. As I said, they appeared just south of the town, on the edge of the rural area, and then scattered into small groups." The man made a frown similar to Yamamoto's, recalling the entire night.

He had been placed a few blocks from the center of town, along with seven other shinigami, three from his Squad, two seated officers and Hisagi, three from the Kido Corp and one from Research and Development, along with a device that could sense where the hollows had been dispatched after a large swell of hollow energy had started a few minutes ago. The fact that they had been completely undetected up till then was immensely worrying, and the levels of reiatsu had been arrancar level. That had been mere minutes ago, minutes that were too precious to waste.

"Where are they?" Masafumi asked, not bothering to ask how many there were.

"They're twenty degrees south, south-west," said the timid girl from Squad 12. She was hunched over the handheld that sensed hollow reiatsu, murmuring to herself as she absorbed the stream of information. "But, Masafumi-taicho-"

"What," he snapped, eagerness to be gone making him short with her.

"There's also some directly to the east. There seem to be...multiple." The last word was just a trickle of sound, and she looked up wearily, as if expecting to be struck by someone. The shinigami did nothing but stare at her, and she jumped into an explanation.

"I'm picking up two sources of hollow spiritual pressure. They're drastically different, both residual. The surge we picked up was...stronger, but didn't have the same..._edge_ as the one to the east."

"Alright, you two," Masafumi said, nodding at his vice-captain and a Kido Corp member, "go investigate that large burst. You'll come with me," he said to another Kido Corp member, a rather tall man with long brown hair, "and the rest of you search the rest of the city. If you get so much as a _flicker _of arrancar-level pressure, send a hell butterfly." By the time he was done, everyone but his designated companion had gone, intent on their duty.

They headed after the older patch of reiatsu, and with a spark of curiosity, he noticed that it felt all mixed up, like a bitter seed had been planted in the midst of it. His hand clenched his hilt, and Masafumi's sea-blue eyes narrowed.

That had started what turned out to be a wild goose-chase. While the other shinigami searched the city, they found slight traces of arrancar energy. Within moments of setting out, Masafumi received a hell butterfly, saying that it seemed like there were at least six arrancar, all traveling in groups. Their pressure seemed to be cloaked, but small flickers of energy seemed to be popping up all over. A few minutes after that, another butterfly came, telling him that two of the shinigami had reached a building where one of the hollows had been.

"There are worrying signs, Masafumi-taicho. Some of the furniture is overturned in the main room, and in the bedroom there are clothes thrown about."

"Anything else?" It seemed to Masafumi that the person was just messy, but he couldn't assume the best (or worst) in this situation.

"Yes. The stove was on, and it seems to me that the girl who lives here was in a rush to leave. The blankets were dragged off the bed, like they got caught in her legs, and she grabbed whatever were the first clothes to reach her hand."

"Are there any signs of a struggle?" Masafumi's voice was tight. Did this girl sense what was about to happen and manage to leave before the hollows got there? Or was she intercepted midway through her flight?

"Other than the upset furniture, no. There are also no blood splatters, so it is impossible to tell if the occupant was attacked. It doesn't seem like the hollow was large enough to swallow a person whole, either."

"Alright," Masafumi said grudgingly, and the connection ended. He and the Kido Corp member, named Okada Takumi, had stopped while he spoke, and had barely taken a step when Masafumi noticed the reiatsu around him. They were just a block away from where it originated, and he wondered why it had taken him so long to pay attention to it. Masafumi recognized this pressure, he'd had it pounded into his head from the moment he had first felt it, catching a glimpse of the red head as he entered into Yamamoto's quarters for an update on things just after the Winter War had abated.

It was Kurosaki Ichigo's.

A third hell butterfly fluttered by his ear, telling him that the shinigami had pinpointed the other arrancar, and were about to attack.

"No!" he shouted, unable to contain himself. "Do _not_ approach! Remain within the area, but do not approach! There is a high possibility that these arrancar are the rogues that turned into hollows six months ago!" There was a small pause, and then the tense reply from Hisagi that he had understood.

"Let's go find out what's happened," Masafumi told Okada, and they dived towards the ground. The thrill of dread and excitement ran through him, finally something could be done about this group of hollows. They had caused enough trouble as it was. And, he was worried about what would happen if they really did meet this Kurosaki boy?

_Or any of his companions, for that matter,_ he though, frowning. They didn't care about anything, casualties meant nothing, and their battles had been infamous for how costly they had been to their surrounding, and that was when they actually _cared_ about the people around them. These hollows were something completely new, and Masafumi, and everyone else, it seemed, had no idea quite how to deal with them.

They strode up to the house, preparing themselves for the scene of a massacre, but instead were greeted by the door opening to reveal Isshin, a set look on his face.

"Good evening. May I help you?"

"Don't mess around," Masafumi snapped, both relieved and agitated to see this man alive, and looking surprisingly well for someone who just had a blood thirsty arrancar in his house. That meant no harm had come to anyone, but that also meant that Ichigo might go after someone else. Masafumi was also considering the fact that this man had once been a captain himself. What on earth had made him give it up (or forced him, as Masafumi thought more likely), he didn't know, and really didn't care. All that mattered now was that somehow, even though Isshin's hollow son had just been here, no one seemed to care. "Where'd he go?"

"Who?"

Masafumi tilted his head down, black hair falling into his eyes. "Kurosaki Ichigo, of course! He was here, why?"

"I can't imagine what you're talking about."

This continued for about ten minutes, before Masafumi had wheeled around in disgust. "Don't think this won't go unreported," he spat over his shoulder, and was glad to notice that his eyes had narrowed, breaking the impassive and slightly amused expression Kurosaki had been wearing the entire time. He left with Okada and went after the flickers of arrancar reiatsu.

Now that Masafumi had time to lock on to the various spiritual pressures, he could tell where they were, and that, one by one, they were vanishing. It made him feel uneasy. What was happening to cause them to slowly wink out of existence? They weren't using a garganta, he knew that would have been picked up by the shinigami's sensors, but what else could be happening? Were they being killed?

Or possibly...the thought was just starting to form, or possibly was it something Central had devised, a clean way to get ride of big problems that could give away big secrets?

_That _someone_ had devised, _Masafumi corrected himself sharply, reminding himself that whatever Central may or may not be, did not matter to him right now. All that mattered was the remaining arrancar.

The four shinigami stopped as one unit, shocked to find themselves in front of the shop owned by Urahara Kisuke.

"So you've come as well," said a voice near the entrance. The shinigami turned, staring at a boy leaning against the side of the building. "You should come in as well. Two are already here."

Reluctantly the group headed in, to find Hisagi and his partner seated in front of Urahara.

"Well, hello there!" Urahara beamed at them, bobbing his fan in their general direction. "Hisagi-fukutaicho and Teshima-san, was it? They were just waiting for you four to come! All we need now is the other two of your patrol, and we'll be set!"

"Where are they?" Masafumi asked, not bothering to play along with Urahara. He sighed, leaning back.

"What do you mean, Masafumi-taicho? Where are who?"

"The arrancar. The ones with Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Wouldn't they be in the R and D Department in the Soul Society? Surely you're not telling me that they got _away._" This was a little too thick for even the shop assistants to take seriously. The boy that had called them in scoffed, then hurried out, while a large man Masafumi didn't know delivered a platter of what looked like freshly made cakes, shaking his head.

"Please don't joke with us, Urahara-san," Hisagi said, started to get irritated as well. Urahara looked at him appraisingly, waving his fan casually.

"Alright. Go ahead, ask your questions," Urahara told them, as if he'd really had a choice.

"Where are the hollows?" Masafumi repeated, eyes narrowing even more. He had every word low and clear, and the shop keeper seemed to realize that he wouldn't be able to trifle with him the same way he did everyone else. Not in the same way, at least.

"Presumably in Hueco Mundo. That _is _where they live, you know."

"_But how?_" he practically shouted, fists clenched. "They were in your shop just moments ago, we could all feel it! Where are you hiding them?"

"I'm not hiding anything at all," Urahara said, and at the various disbelieving and scoffing looks, he added "about Kurosaki-kun or his hollow friends. Obviously they're not here, you all are adept shinigami, you'd feel them."

"Then how did they get away from here?" Hisagi jumped in, scowling. "We've established that they can't have used a garganta, and there is no other way known for traveling between worlds that is compatible with hollows!"

"I have no idea," Urahara said, fan waving back in forth in front of his face. Masafumi ground his teeth, but moved on.

"Why didn't you obstruct them when you found out they had broken into your shop?"

"They couldn't have broken in, my shop attendants would have fought them, and they don't look like they were in a battle, now do they? I was across town when I felt them, and I arrived just before Hisagi-fukutaicho and Teshima-san. They had gone by then."

Masafumi glanced at Hisagi, who said "We got here about a couple minutes before you, taicho. The assistants wouldn't let us in until Urahara-san had got back, and when the girl went in to check, she came back out saying he'd come in through the back." Masafumi was just starting to frown when there was a clatter at the door, and the remaining two shinigami entered, looking dejected. It wasn't difficult to tell that they'd had just as much luck as the rest of the patrol. He nodded to them, and Urahara greeted them brightly, offering them tea and cakes, which had been untouched by the others.

Sighing, Masafumi turned away, back to the door. "Urahara-san, do not be surprised if you have someone else come to interrogate you. Just because your answers are..._believable_ now, does not mean they are satisfactory."

"Very well," Urahara said, smiling as the patrol filed out, Hisagi and Masafumi last to leave. They both paused, exchanging looks.

"Be careful about where you tread," Hisagi said meaningfully, glancing over at two of the shinigami in the patrol. They had been recently appointed, and could only sing the praises for Central, and, if rumors were to be believed, they had been approved by half of the council, which had overseen their entrance to the Squad. "_We_ don't want to be enemies. We'll need all the allies we can get against this new enemy."

"Yes," Urahara said slowly, dragging the word out as he considered the situation. "We wouldn't want that at all."

Masafumi's eyes narrowed as he tried to understand _why_ the hollows had come at all. Obviously not to eat their family, Isshin being alive and calm proved that. And then there was the fact both Isshin and Urahara had protected them. Why? Wouldn't they be concerned about them almost as much as the Soul Society, though maybe not for the same reasons. Most of all, why did they just _leave_? If their purpose in going to Karakura was puzzling, the reason for spending so little time was completely mystifying. The hollows seemed like they wanted to be utterly inconspicuous, but just short of storming the Seireitei itself, there was no other way to attract _more_ attention.

Yamamoto moved on to address other matters to the captains, and soon the meeting wasfinished.

The captains slowly left, beginning to talk among themselves. Byakuya stepped in beside Masafumi, not bothering to look at him.

"You seemed rather adamant about keeping a closer watch on Urahara Kisuke and Kurosaki Isshin," he noted, and Masafumi sighed.

"I don't like the way they were so...relaxed about having nine arrancar running around the city. Something's wrong about it."

"I doubt it's something that has to do with _them_," Byakuya retorted, and Masafumi gave him a measuring stare. Just how much did Byakuya know, or guess? All of the captains were uneasy about the arrancar situation, but it didn't seem that all of them had realized, or acknowledged the fact that there were so many strings tied to the whole case.

Ukitake walked up, smiling.

"You both seem so serious. You should get some lighter company."

"You know what they say," Shunsui said, sliding into the conversation as well. "Thinking too much will make you go blind." Masafumi gave them a surprised look, and Byakuya simply shrugged off their comments and walked on.

"But Kuchiki-taicho is right," Shunsui continued, putting a friendly hand on Masafumi's shoulder. "We have bigger problems, ah, closer to home. Let's focus on those, shall we?" It was difficult to decide just what Shunsui meant. Did he mean forget Isshin and Urahara and focus on the hollows, or the potential problem of Central? Or something else entirely?

New people had already filled Abarai Renji's and one of the painfully vacant captain positions, both of them unfamiliar to Masafumi. Again, they had been recommended by Central. There was nothing to go off of yet, but Masafumi felt unsettled by them. There was something wrong about them, he was sure.

"Well, either way," Ukitake said, nodding towards his two third seat members, waving at their captain, and then deteriorating into an intense argument as he approached them, "we have to take it a step at a time. You'll see, Masafumi-taicho. Things will happen even if you stay asleep the entire time. Eventually...things will resolve."

Masafumi, and everyone else with misgivings, didn't really care about _when_ things resolved, merely _how, _and what came afterwards. You couldn't stop the future, they knew. But maybe you could stop something awful from happening.

**_AN Oh the intrigue! Had anyone been wondering what was happening down on the shinigami's end before I put up this chapter? I was pretty excited to write this chapter, actually. I get to develop Masafumi _and_ play with the 'Central is corrupted' idea at the same time! _**

**_(this was so fraught with typos that I thought I'd shrivel up and die, I don't even-ugh.)  
_**

**_As always, please review! I'm sure you have something to say about this chapter.  
_**


	15. Slip, Slide, Slick

_**AN Ah, such a long update! I'm so sorry, I really tried to get it out earlier, but the end of school kept delaying it and then I was at a band camp for a week, but here it is! So tiring! Hopefully this will make it all the better~  
**_

"Primera-sama?"

I looked around, and saw a young looking arrancarstanding in the doorway. He kept his head down so that I couldn't really see his face, but the horns of a ram curled around his head. I sat up from where I was laying on the floor, and he continued.

"Segunda-sama asked...asked for you to meet him. I'll show you where he is, if you like," he mumbled, and I stood up, sighing a little. No matter how many people talked to us, it was still weird when people addressed the espada by rank. Much less tacking a _'sama'_ to the end of it.

"Sure," I grunted, brushing myself off. He waited for me to enter the hallway before setting off.

It'd been a while since we first became the espada, and I guess we were all adjusting;Tatsuki was playing catch up when she thought no one would notice, while Ishida and Shinji started gathering as much information as they possibly could. Rukia and Orihime started testing out different techniques, and we all kept training. If our ranks were to be believed, there really was no one to beat any more, unless we wanted to start turning on one another.

None of us did, but just in case, we avoided actually fighting each other. No one could forget how easy it was to lose our minds and let instincts do the job.

I examined the kid in front of me, and felt a small jerk when I realized that he looked about twelve. The first time I'd been in Hueco Mundo, I hadn't really spent much time examining random arrancar, but I had a feeling that most of them weren't _kids._

We were heading around the back side of the palace, where the outer layer was mostly just open hallways and verandas, looking out on the undisturbed desert. The kid was stiff, as if he was afraid of me punishing him if he didn't maintain a rigidly professional composure.

"What's your name," I asked casually. He flicked his eyes over to my face, then snapped them forward again. His reiatsu went wild for a moment, and then stabilized.

"U-uh, Emilio Medina, rank veintiocho, P-primera-sama." I considered asking him more, but he looked so skittish that I didn't think it worth the trouble. Soon he was stopping in front of a door, saying "Here we are, Primera-sama. Segunda-sama is in there."

"Right. Thanks. Oh, and Medina?"

"Yes, Primera-sama?" He sounded nervous that I stalled him.

"Don't call me 'Primera-sama'. Kurosaki's fine."

"Ah...yes, Kurosaki-sama," he said after a pause, in which he looked at me, really stared at me as if trying to figure something out. It kind of freaked me out. For a boy who would hardly even _breathe_ in my presence, it was weird how he'd just stare at me.

He dropped into a quick bow and left. I watched him as he vanished down the rest of the hall, and went into the room where Shinji supposedly was. The room was large and empty, with only large pillars for decoration. I'd figured out that there were a lot of rooms like this, from both my wanderings and from what the other espada had told me. What on earth were they _for_?

Shinji was waiting on the far side of the room, leaning against a rail and staring at the desert.

"Hey Kurosaki, glad to see you made it here," he said, not turning around.

"Uh, yeah. What, d'you expect little Medina to drop me and slit my throat with Zangetsu?" Shinji turned just enough for his mask to leer at me.

"Didn't _you_?" he asked simply, and I felt my hair stand on end.

"Uhm...no. Can't say I did," I said, feeling like suddenly, there were precious few people I could trust not to kill me on sight.

Shinji just shook his head, turning back to the desert.

"That's rather stupid of you," he told me, and I snapped back.

"Hey, sorry for not thinking that everyone here is out to get me! I'm just not used to people being cowed onemoment and then assassins the next."

"Ichigo...They don't _like_ us here. You can't think that they were layin' around for us to come in and say 'Hey, we're the espada.'" I bit back a retort, remembering the group's argument. It wouldn't take much to come to blows again.

"Okay, I get it. I need to watch my back. What...what was it you wanted to see me about?"

"Just to talk. I want your opinion on some stuff."

"O...kay? What are they?" Why was he asking me? I was just the hot headed kid of the group. Hitsugaiya or Hiyori or even Ishida would have been much better confidants.

"How do you feel about being an espada?"

"Uhm...I dunno. I'm just... the Primera," I finished lamely, thinking that I was sounding kind of like a jerk. Sure, I was the most powerful hollow in all of Hueco Mundo, and I didn't have any feelings on the matter. "People stare at me a lot. They don't like me being stronger then them, but hey, that's nothing new."

"Right. Now, how would you feel about ten people just _coming in_ and taking the top spots?"

"I'd feel pretty pissed. I'd wanna murder them, but I couldn't. They couldwipe the floor with my face without even trying." Shinji kept staring at the desert, and I wondered what he was getting at.

"But you'd still try to beat them, right? You'd keep training and training until you were _sure_ you could beat them."

"And then I'd attack. Actually, I'm still kind of surprised that no one tried to kill us the moment they found out we were the espada," I said, and then remembered Eris, and how she'd been all set to knock me dead.

"So why haven't you gotten rid of them yet?" he asked quietly, looking at me again. The moonlight caught his mask just so, making him look like some sort of monster out of a horror movie. I looked away, knowing that I had no answer to give.

"Something's controlling them, just like Aizen did. They're afraid-or worship- that something."

"What's the something?"

"I don't know," murmured Shinji, turning back to the desert. "But I have a feeling...something ain't right here. Something's going to happen, and when it does..."

Neither one of us finished his sentence, because there were so many possibilities to fit there. He shook his head, breaking out of his strange state, and clapped his hands.

"Right! Let's go back to normal society, shall we? Everyone else might be wondering what we're talking about." I looked at him carefully, then nodded. The other espada didn't really care about what we said, anymore than they cared where everyone went. So what did he mean by 'everyone else'?

Unless...unless he literally meant _everyone else._ I'd gotten the feel that we were being watched, but to this extent? Now that I thought about it, Shinji never really _said_ who or what he thought was controlling the whole place. Simply asking me questions that might lead anywhere.

"Alright. Where are they?" I asked, wondering if he knew where the others were. I also wondered if this was his way of telling us something rather important. Get each one of the espada alone, or maybe in small groups, and tell them something in a round about way. Or he'd get everyone to pass it on by word of mouth. It'd certainly be less suspicious than him getting everyone together.

"I have _no idea._"

We searched for a while, going off of the snippets of their reiatsu that we could pick out of the spiritual mass inside the palace and what other hollows could tell us. We ran into some of the hollows we were training, among which were Vermalda and an arrancar I'd seen with her before. The arrancar was a girl, short with long blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Crimson lined her eyelids and trailed down by her nose, reminding me of an owl. She at least bent her head in respect when we drew close, while Vermalda just glared openly.

"Well, look at this, Eleri! We're graced by the presence of Segunda-sama and Primera-sama, how we should be proud!" Her smile was all sneer, and I wanted to claw it off her face. The blonde, Eleri, looked at us furtively, then dropped her eyes again. She murmured a greeting, and Shinji inclined his head.

"Oh look, it's my favorite little arrancar," I spat, snarling at her. I hadn't had the misfortune to train Vermalda myself, but when ever we met it'd been less than friendly. Vermalda hardly seemed to care about the fact that we could kill her from sheer boredom, which I had to admire. Grudgingly.

"See, he remembers me!" She glanced at Eleri, whose expression had not changed from blank observation. "I told you, if you show them how you really feel about them long enough, you stop being an inconsequential underling and start being a thorn in their side."

Vermalda was on the verge of saying something else when Eleri grabbed Vermalda's wrist. Her expression didn't change, except to look a little annoyed. I noticed that her sleeves were mismatched; the left was longer than her fingers, while the right one was just enough to cap her shoulder, exposing the large fourteen on the inside of her arm.

"Be quiet, Vermalda-san. If you anger Kurosaki-sama enough, then I imagine he will kill you." Her voice was flat, stating the facts as if they were about the life cycle of butterflies. Totally uninterested.

Vermalda glared at her, arm jerking a little, then sighed, looking down.

"Alright, Eleri. We'll be seeing you in training, Primera-sama, Segunda-sama." Vermalda turned away, and Eleri nodded again, murmuring a goodbye.

We continued walking, but I turned around to stare at them.

"Don't gawk too openly, 'right Ichigo?" Shinji said, elbowing me. "I mean, yeah, that tall one, she's pretty hot-nothing on our fair Inoue, of course-but she's a viper alright."

I sputtered, staring at him. "What, no! I'm not, I mean, geez Shinji, that woman's-no! I just...Wait! What do I mean 'just'? It's not like I-"

"Oh geez Ichigo," Shinji snorted, clapping on my shoulder. "It's pays to psych you out like that, I gotta tell you. Wow, I could do this every day!" I glared at him, and was about to punch in his nose, when he pushed me through the door to our room.

"You stay here and calm down, while I go find something to do, alright?" I tried throwing something at the door, but he shut it with a 'Right!' before I could grab anything. I glared at the door, figuring that it wasn't worth chasing him down, and sighed.

My days had been more or less _the exact same_ for a while now -wake up, train, wander, eat, sleep. Insert annoying, sarcastic and antagonistic numeros and bam, there was the story of my life for who knew how long. I longed for something different, and my hand settled on my hilt. I didn't feel like physical training, but I could always train another way.

Once the idea came into my head, I was out the door and running, knowing that the only place I could do this was out in the desert of Hueco Mundo. It was serene there, perfect for meditating with my zanpakuto.

Vaguely I wondered if I would meet someone like (if not exactly) Nel and her 'brothers'. In all the time that I had spent in Hueco Mundo, I had yet to see the three of them, which made me a little sad. I hadn't gotten the opportunity to really say goodbye, to any of them, and so much time had passed. Years had gone by, and I had gone from a cocky teenager to...

Primera espada. Quite the jump.

For a moment, I let myself think about what would happen if I met the three of them in the white dunes, and grinned. First thing Nel would do would be to leap on me, blubbering and sobbing 'Itsugo! Oh Itsugo, I mithed you tho much!' Unless she was too scared of my supposedly fearsome spiritual pressure, and would refuse to come near me. The smile cracked off of my face, and I stopped thinking about what ifs.

Once I was satisfied that I was far enough away from everything, I slowed, pulling Zangetsu off of my back. I stabbed it into the sand, and it tilted a little before I sat down. I took a breath, letting my head go blank.

_Hey Zangetsu. How's it been?_

I hadn't talked to Zangetsu in ages, and I felt a little bit guilty. For some reason, he sulked when I didn't talk to him for long periods of time. And frankly, I had enough sulky people to deal with already.

But I only got silence. I shifted a little, guessing that his was his way of snubbing me. The silent treatment. Nice.

_Uhm...hello?_

Still nothing.

_Zangetsu! Geez, I know I haven't been around for a while, but a lot's been going on. Zangetsu, just say somethi-_

_My name is __**not**__ Zangetsu._

I jumped when I heard the voice, that was _definitely_ not Zangetsu. I leaned back, eyes snapping open. Nothing had changed about my sword, and I leaned forward, hand reaching forward.

"Z-zan-"

_I AM NOT ZANGETSU! _It was a shout in my head, making me fall over. I jerked back up, sand falling over my face, and I gasped. It felt like I was being punched with sound, though nothing had changed.

_You stupid little boy. You still think that after everything, you still have your shinigami blade? Ha, fool. When you tore off your mask, you walked into the new life of an arrancar._

"But I thought... Wait, what are you talking about? My zanpakuto can't..._change. _What happened to-"

_To Zangetsu? He evolved. Him and you inner hollow. They progressed into something greater, something stronger._

"And...That wouldbe you?"

_Yes, Ichigo. I am what you call the higher form of a zanpakuto._

_"_Then do the other viza...the other _ex_-vizards, do they have the same thing? Do they have...a higher form? Or what about Renji or Rukia or Hitsugaiya? Is my...are you more powerful than other zanpakutos?"

_In ways, yes. Your espada companions, they are single entities, not composed to thousands of hollows like normal arrancar. They are relying on the power of only two, where as you and the other ex-vizards have three._

"So does that make me stronger?"

_Having a stronger zanpakuto does not make you a better warrior._

"Oh spare me the psychological crap," I grunted, rolling my eyes. I frowned, leaning forward, taking hold of the hilt. "So you are a combination of Hichigo and Zangetsu?"

_...In a way, yes._

"Then what's your name?"

_My name...? Carnicería del Semidiós_.

"Carnicería del Semidiós...? Welcome to the team." I nodded at the sword, holding it up. All I could do was feel thankful that I wasn't in one of those fighting periods where every time I turned around I was up against _somebody_. I hadn't even known my zanpakuto's _name._ It was a knowledge that made me feel exposed, and I could hardly believe that in my early days as a shinigami, I didn't even know that zanpakuto _had_ names.

_Was I not part of the 'team' the entire time?_

_"_Yeah well...this time it's official."

I was sure I could just barely hear the soft sound of a snort.

_**AN It was so hard getting into the flow of the chapter, but by the end I had it all straightened out. I really like the thought of this Semidios character (wait...don't I say that about most all of my random OCs? Haha.), and all the possibilities he presents. This was actually an idea I had forming by the end of the Hueco Mundo arc, and finally I'm able to get it out, 15 chapters and a lot of months later XD**_

_**AND SO ON! Do review, tell me how I did on the chapter! I was so worried about it, but I'm feeling more confident about it now. And last of all, enjoy the day, guys.  
**_


	16. Black Innocence

_**AN It feels good to write for this story again XD With school ending, me going to a shooper music camp and what not, I've had little time to type for this! But it's done, and we all get to enjoy a new chapter for **_**Death is the Simplest Thing.**_**  
**_

On my way back to the palace, I decided to cut through the main city. It had a strange sense of agitation, people zipping though alleyways and sneaking through the street when I passed. I glanced at the windows, and more then once found a figure standing there, watching me. A couple times, they had been dragged away from my line of sight, the windows covered and the building going silent.

It was probably because I was the Primera, and most of them weren't even vasto lordes. None of them seemed that impressive, in fact, a lot of the hollows seemed to be your basic thoughtless monster. Except they knew to stay out of my way. I scowled, leaping up the steps of the palace, glancing back. The whole city seemed to have been pressing in on me when I wasn't looking, then snapping back when I glanced over my shoulder.

If walking through the city was weird, the halls of the palace were down right strange. Everything had a more..._intense_ feel about it. When I passed by hollows, a feeling would snap up inside me, and then die down almost as fast. Dislike, joy, anger, irritation, they were constantly bouncing inside me. It wasn't until I was half way across the place that I realized it was my instinctual feeling about them.

_Great,_ I thought, sighing a little. _Just great. _I'd had my share of battling instincts, and I wasn't missing it. Sure, I was little wilder than I had been as a shinigami, letting my emotions get to me more often, throwing people into pillars because they wouldn't stop annoying me, or breaking someone's arm in training because they wouldn't move fast enough and the like, but nothing _too_ much.

I jerked a little, realizing I was just as wild as Grimmjow, and how he never took time to think when we fought. It had been easy to predict his moves, he'd had no control. Was I turning into that?

I figured it was about time to start training. There was nothing like pounding something to clear your head.

After the first session, there was no real time for practice, arrancar came and went when they wanted. Usually there was at least one of the espada in the training hall, tutoring people on various techniques, so I had no real worry about leaving our dear little pupils alone in there, but I liked coming in a consistent manner.

When I found the hall, there weren't many hollows inside, a few numerous working by themselves or in small groups, and off in a corner, a few giant aduchas gathered in a corner around Chad. All of the aduchas turned towards me, while the numerous pretended I wasn't there.

"Hey, Ichigo," Chad called, and I nodded at him, noticing that all of aduchas seemed agitated. They shifted and moaned softly, blank eyes watching me the entire time. Their flat gazes were unsettling, I'd never seen anything like it. It was like...they were really _hollow_, like there was nothing inside them.

Chad said something, and they all turned back to him, a few eyes lingering on me.

Shaking my head, I moved to the middle of the room, and noticed a male arrancar move towards me. He kept his eyes on the ground and bowed swiftly, murmuring a hello.

"Hey. What's your rank?"

"Ah, Trau Ehrlich, rank veintiún. It's an honor to meet Kurosaki-sama," he stuttered, not at all the mutinous type that Shinji had said everyone was. I scoffed, shaking my head again.

"Alright, Ehrlich, what are you good at?"

"Head on attacks, Kurosaki-sama," said Ehrlich, still not looking at me. "They're powerful, but...obvious."

I frowned, not exactly sure what to do. I wasn't exactly the expert on discreet attacks, but there had to be something. I stood akimbo, nodding a little.

"Hm. Ever work on making them...faster?"

"Faster?" He looked up, a bit surprised, and I started a little when I saw that he was about twelve. Face still open, innocent, except for the mask framing the left part of his face. From what I could see, the mask was much more like a human skull than the others I'd seen, no hints at animals or strange disfigurements. It was kind of freakish on a kid.

"Uh, yeah. What's a typical attack?" He shifted, looking away again.

"It's...rather wild, Kurosaki-sama. I don't want to do it here."

"Well, tone it down a bit. Don't go all the way. Trust me, I can take it."

A few minutes later, I was standing a ways from Ehrlich, watching him take a fighting stance. Suddenly, his spiritual pressure snapped out, a burst of blue-white energy. It felt like a wave of hot air hit me, making me feel cracked and like I only had dust in my lungs. I narrowed my eyes, watching him launch himself up, spin, and then fly towards me. My feet wanted to pull back, I was actually leaning away from the attack, and the only thing I wanted to do was _run._

I snarled, wondering what was wrong with me for wanting to run _away_, but tried to focus on the kid. His reiatsu was an absolute _nightmare_, and this was supposed to be only part of his strength. A few moments later, he hit me.

At least, I thought it was him. Felt more like a rhino.

I slid back, blocking him, and then felt his reiatsu waver, like he was unsure of himself. Confused, I threw him off, the light fading and Ehrlich crashing into the floor. I shook out my arms, which felt tense, then started laughing. He was sitting up, the tiles around him pushed up, and I ran over.

"You alright? Geez, _that_ was a typical attack? You're crazy!" I extended a hand and he grabbed it, then dragged me down as apposed to pulling himself up.

"Kurosaki-sama! Are you okay? Ah, I over did it, Helyan-sama's going to yell at me!" He peered at my face, checked my arms, hands and chest, whimpering. I stared at him, pulling away from his hands.

"Kid, it's fine. I'm just a little surprised that was just part of your full attack. Just...make sure you stay confident in your attack. Your enemy will throw you off like I did if you don't." Trau looked at me, eyes wide as if he was cracking, about to fall off that cliff of sanity I had teetered along a little too much myself. I was about to reassure him somehow, when a soft voice behind me said "Trau-san."

I turned, wondering how any of this could turn weirder, and saw Jacintha. She seemed to have come from one of the far doors, which led down a series of halls I'd never been. Her face was serious, completely different from all the other times I'd seen her.

"Hello, Kurosaki-sama," she said, bowing, then turned back to Ehrlich. "Get up. Sindervanch-sama is waiting for you."

"S-sindervanch-sama? Will he...will he want to see me? I disobeyed him, I'm not worth-"

"Sindervanch-sama won't want to be kept waiting," she said, and Ehrlich nodded reluctantly, then stood up and bowed to Jacintha and then me. I frowned a little, irritated that most all of my sessions so far had ended in my trainees walking away too injured to fight or because they'd been called away.

I sighed, and realized that Jacintha was still there. With the absence of Trau, she seemed to relax a little.

"Kurosaki-sama, you're brave in training," she noted mildly, and I frowned.

"What's that mean?"

"You've been taking on really tough people to train. Pan Asaea-san, Trau-san, everyone else. They only train with people they think they can't kill." She shrugged and started walking back towards the door, and I followed her, trying not to be _too_ disconcerted by her words. There didn't seem to be anyone else interested in training with me in the hall, and I didn't see the point standing around like a fool.

"I've only had a few come up to me, it's not like I'm popular enough to _chose_," I grumbled, putting my hands in my pockets. I felt on edge, and I didn't know if it was because that Trau kid was weird or if it was because I kept wanting to do things impulsively. If they really were my instincts, why were they acting up now? I'd been a hollow for who knew how long. Unless it was because I had just acknowledged Semidios, who was basically the embodiment of my instincts...

"Kurosaki-sama, you look distracted." Jacintha looked at me, a little worried, and I waved my hand.

"It's nothing. It's just...I dunno, my training sessions are kind of strange," I said absently, and I felt Jacintha stiffen. Her hand settled on her hilt, more as a habit, a resting post than a threat, and she looked away as we left the hall.

The corridor we entered on was long and dark, even though open windows were scattered every few feet. It seemed absolutely desolate, like no one had ever wandered down the black halls.

"Why is that, do you think?"

"I dunno. Only weird people come to me, it seems." We walked a ways in silence, until Jacintha spoke, head down.

"Kurosaki-sama...did he realize that all of his students are children, I wonder?" Her voice had changed, gone a little deeper, and I looked at her.

"What?"

Jacintha's head popped back up, and her face was clear and the same as always.

"I was just thinking...Did you notice that there are a lot of kids around here?"

"Kids...?" I asked, and stopped. She was right, there were quite a few, definitely a whole lot more than I'd seen in Hueco Mundo before. I hadn't really thought about it, hollow bodies didn't have any relation to how old the person really was, except in the arrancar's case, where it showed what we looked like when we changed.

"What of it? The kids died young and then became arrancar, so what?" I started walking again, a little unsettled by my realization. Now that I thought on it, there were a lot of kid arrancar running about. They were everywhere, fetching me, giving me notes, training, walking through the city below...

I glanced through one of the windows, watching the city come into view. Small figures were walking through the square, and they seemed child small, but that may have just been my eyes.

"It's not like...Hollows can't have _kids,_ can they?" I asked, the thought never having hit me before. That just didn't seem right to me, hollows didn't seem to have enough feeling to nurture a baby. Plus, maybe that made them stronger, like with the shinigami nobles. They had a larger reiatsu than normal wholes, and the thought of an arrancar, no, just a normal hollow with increased spiritual pressure was worrying.

Jacintha laughed in response, shaking her head.

"Kurosaki-sama, you're so funny sometimes! Hollows can't have kids. It's...not part of their instincts."

"Okay, wait. If hollows can't have kids, then...how are there so many young arrancar? I mean, I can't see them being strong enough to overcome all the other hollows and get so far," I said without thinking, then realized I had just insulted Jacintha. "Wait, no, that's not what I meant! I-"

"It's okay, Kurosaki-sama. You're right, children generally can not become arrancar on their own. They...have to be helped along. Sindervanch-sama does that, for us." Her face softened, and she looked away.

"Kurosaki-sama...do you know why it is beneficial to have a child arrancar on your side?"

"No?"

"They are...forever children." She looked up into my face, and all the youth went out of her face. Jacintha looked cold and serious, and it almost scared me. "Children do not think they can die. They always believe that nothing can hurt them too bad, that they can take on everything. If you train the dependency for a parent out of them...then they are perfect."

She turned to me, grabbing my arm. I tried to pull away, but she hung on, managing to pull my face close as she whispered frantically to me.

"Kurosaki-sama, do not doubt them! A child arrancar will continue to fight even if all of its limbs are gone. They have no sense of power, and can not limit themselves. Very easily will they lose control and be eaten away by the energy they release." Suddenly, I thought of Trau and how he said he'd had a problem with controlling himself, and then Eris and how she had tried to kill me when we trained. Jacintha's eyes were urgent, begging me to listen to her, to understand.

"You can not know the true strength of them...of what he has hiding. Be cautious, Kurosaki-sama." She paused, face still close to mine, then pulled back, eyes dropping. There had been something..._else_ in Jacintha's eyes, something stronger and more intense than the little girl that did Helyan's bidding.

She nodded, started to walk away again, and I jerked, wondering what on earth that just was.

"_Hey!_ What are you-what do you mean?" She kept walking, and I grabbed her arm, whirling her around. "Jacintha, you better tell me what that just was!"

"I-I don't know what you mean, Kurosaki-sama!" Jacintha's eyes were wide, fear in them. She struggled to break my grip, but I held on tighter.

"Don't screw with me! You just-"

"Kurosaki-sama I didn't say anything! You asked about hollows being born and I answered. I told you everything I know!" I stared at her, about to say something more, when a casual voice said "What's this? Kurosaki-kun, careful now."

I snapped my head around, wide eyed as Helyan walked up to us, utterly relaxed. He shrugged, smiling a little, face stretched freakishly by his leering mask.

"You may be Primera, but if you continue to manhandle my fraccion, there will certainly be trouble."

"Y-your fraccion?"

"Yes. And a fraccion is property; you protect it as you must. Please release Jacintha before any one of us comes to harm. Jacintha already looks like her wrist may be damaged." A little surprised I let go of Jacintha, who staggered back. Her eyes flicked from me to Helyan, and she dropped a quick bow to me.

"Ah, thank you for fetching Trau-kun for me. I could never have found him like you."

"Not at all, Sindervanch-sama," she said, bowing again. Jacintha was still stiff, and I could feel fear mixing with her reiatsu. The only thing I couldn't figure out was whether it was of me or Helyan.

"Now that we've found each other, we should go. Goodbye, Kurosaki-kun." He bowed a little, and turned to go, Jacintha trailing after.

"Wait!" I yelled, reaching after them. "What do you mean she's 'property'? She's still a person!" Helyan turned a little, enough for me to see that stitched up smile of his and his eye, which had none of the light humor of before. It was all cold hate and irritation.

"A person...? Yes. She is in fact a person. Jacintha just owes me everything. See, Kurosaki-kun, most hollows aren't very powerful when they are turned into fraccion, they usually just find some arrancar to cling to for power. When I made Jacintha my fraccion, I made her strong enough not to be eaten alive, and gave her my protection. In exchange, she gave me every single thing she had."

He turned away again, and I just stood there, trying to process it all.

"Jacintha."

"Y-yes Kurosaki-sama?" she answered, turning to me warily.

"What were you when you became his fraccion?" She paused, seeming to be considering Helyan, who was still walking, and me, and trying to decide who would be worse to upset.

"I...I was an arrancar, Kurosaki-sama," she said, and followed Helyan. I watched them go, and saw Jacintha turn back just once, a frightened child not wanting to go, but not quite wanting to stay, either.

I headed off in the opposite direction, when it hit me.

The entire time Jacintha had been warning me about arrancar children, she had not once said 'us', only 'them'.

Wasn't she an arrancar child too?

_**AN I don't know why, but I really like the child soldier bit. It's...I don't know, they're just more likely to act wildly, which I find interesting. Agh, that makes me feel twisted. But, thank you for reading this chapter! Please review and tell me what you think :)  
**_


	17. Desperate Breathing

_**AN I'm really starting to get excited about this! Well, I mean, I was always excited **_**Death is the Simplest Thing_, of course, but I'm _really_ excited now! There are so many fun characters and possibilities for the plot_**_** and everything feels so tense! Tense atmospheres are good for plot XD  
**_

I kept walking, head so full of questions that I didn't notice Rukia walking towards me at a hall intersection.

"Oi! Ichigo! Ichigo, hello! Pay attention to me, idiot!" She reached up and smacked me in the head, making me stagger. Rukia typically says 'Oi' in the series.

"What the-oh, it's you Rukia." I frowned, putting my hands in my pockets. It took a few steps for me to realize she was staring at me.

"Are you...alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I waved a hand, as if that summed up my state of being. She folded her arms, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, oh that's a good one. When're you going to tell me the truth?"

"I'm fine, I told you! I just found out that..." What could I say? My head still ached from my meeting with Jacintha and the peculiarity surrounding her and Helyan, and I wasn't really sure if I was ready to trust her with the truth about the kids around this place. Rukia may have had my back countless times, who had done everything she could to save me, but that was shinigami Rukia, not this hollow. There was the slight nagging thought in the back of my mind that she could make a nasty decision with this information, a nagging thought that was usually stomped flat by my reason. Lately though, I was starting to realize that 'reason' wasn't exactly my main governing thought.

"Ichigo? What's wrong with you today? Is something wrong?" She grabbed my wrist, and I looked at her, silently pleading for an easy answer.

"Yeah, no, I'm alright." I rubbed my face, suddenly wanting to sleep. "It's just...I'm starting to question everyone, it seems. Even myself."

"...Right. Okay. Well...you should rest, I guess. When was the last time you just sat down?" I blinked, surprised.

"I...don't know."

"Well that explains it, idiot!" Rukia whacked my forehead, a small smile on her face. "You had me worried there, for a second. You've got to know that not sleeping can seriously mess you up! You _are_ a doctor's son, after all."

"_Was _a doctor's son." We'd reached our line of doors, stopping in front of Rukia's. She looked at me hard, an expression in her eye that was too complicated for me to muddle out.

"No, Ichigo. You still are. Hollow or not...you can't change what you were born to."

I didn't say anything, feeling angry and ashamed for even saying it aloud. The image of my father, looking serious and pained as I stood in his house, a hollow coming to eat his family, flashed into my head, and I felt sick. Taking a few shaky breaths, I nodded at Rukia, shrugging.

"Right, of course. It just...doesn't feel real anymore, you know? We're the espada, and...everything back there feels so..."

"Surreal," she finished, looking unhappy. I didn't even register a flicker of surprise that we both knew 'back there' to be our old lives. I nodded, and she started to walk into her room, but paused halfway in.

"You'll make sure you sleep, right? No more running around for hours on end.'' That was it, our melancholy reflections gone in the time for a heart to beat.

"Yeah, sure sure." I started to walk away, but turned, calling out to her.

"What is it?" she asked, head popping back out of her doorway.

"Rukia you need to be careful," I started, thinking that I'd tell her about the child soldiers, but the mistrust from before started to swell again, choking the words as they reached my mouth. She stared at me, probably more worried about the twisted expression on my face than the fact that I had just warned her.

"Careful of what, exactly?"

It was no good, I couldn't tell her. I sighed, settling on something close.

"Things aren't as they seem. I mean, gosh, that sounds stupid, but...Just watch people, 'kay?"

"Of course Ichigo. I'm not an idiot." She scowled, and I shrugged.

"I keep telling myself the same thing, and so far, everything I do indicates otherwise." Rukia smiled a tight, sad little thing, and nodded.

"Thanks Ichigo."

"Yeah, whatever." I waved at her as I walked to my door, opening it to find no one was inside. Even though there was more furniture then there had been when we first started to occupy the place, a few chairs, a table, a couple of beds, it all still felt...empty, like no one lived there. Which was completely bizarre, considering there were three guys living in one room. I frowned as I laid on the bed, wondering why we were all smushed together anyways. I'd heard that the previousespada had had veritable _mansions_ at their disposal. So why were _we_ all stacked into three rooms total?

Sighing, I closed my eyes, wishing that my thoughts of conspiracy and paranoia would just disappear, sublimate with a quick stroke from my zanpakuto.

* * *

I was sitting with Tatsuki, Inoue and Ishida a while later on a balcony over looking the city. We were having a picnic of sorts with food we'd managed to get from one of the kitchens on a lower floor. I hadn't thought that people actually needed _food_ here, when the air was thick with reishi and really, the person beside you was as good as a three course meal. But there were kitchens full of food, and hollow cooks that looked all too eager to serve us. We hadn't really been picky, considering that we had just been exploring and stumbled across by accident.

They'd thrown everything into a basket and told us that we should come back whenever we wanted. While Inoue was looking delighted, Tatsuki pleased and Ishida a little surprised, I was wondering just who ate all this food. I hadn't heard about any group meals in the palace, nor had I seen anyone eat here, but these cooks were making the food like savages were clawing at the doors.

"Hey, Ichigo, toss me that...that thing, whatever it is." Tatsuki was pointing at a container of what I thought was soup, and I picked it up and handed it to her. She popped off the cap, giving me a quick "Thanks" and poured it into a bowl. She dug in, eyebrows rising so they almost disappeared under her mask as she nodded.

"Huh, that's pretty good."

"Yeah? Here, hand me a bowl Tatsuki-chan!" Inoue looked more excited than a surprisingly good dish warranted in my mind, even for her. Then I realized that I didn't know the last time I'd really seen her happy. Being Inoue, of course she was going to be perky and more upbeat than the rest of us, but compared to the her in life...this Inoue seemed faded and so much more somber then I ever wanted to see her.

"You alright, Kurosaki?" Ishida asked, looking at me from against the rails. A slight breeze picked up, ruffling his hair and letting sand catch in my hair.

"Mm, I'm fine. Just thinking." I shrugged, and he let the conversation lie.

"So...what do you think's in this stuff?" Tatsuki asked, staring at her bowl. "I mean, I haven't seen any farms around here, and I can't imagine that they'd do very well in the sand."

Ishida looked like he was about to answer, but Inoue slid over him.

"Ah, Tatsuki-chan, I don't think it's important..." She gave an awkward laugh, and I sent her a look.

"No, really, I wanna know. Do they have greenhouses in here, powered by some crazy machine or something? And what about in the city? I've seen their markets, and they have all sorts of food down there-"

"Tatsuki!" Inoue snapped voice harsh, grabbing her wrist. Tatsuki looked alarmed, and Inoue looked down, seemingly ashamed of herself. "You don't need to know," she repeated, a desperate insistence in her voice, and I was suddenly reminded of when we had been captive in Soul Society, when she had screamed that I didn't need to know what had happened to our bodies. She was still trying to protect us, even now, when she really couldn't do all that much.

"Why?" Tatsuki asked after a moment, looking a little worried. She had yet to see Inoue like this, to see her fall away from the bright and kind girl she'd been in life. I wondered if she'd ever see Inoue stumble into insanity like she'd been so close to doing for a while, or if she'd witness the savagery of Inoue the vasto lordes. "Is it something awful?"

"It's made of souls," Ishida said bluntly, sighing and looking up at her. Tatsuki started a little, eyes wide. "You never had to go through the process like we did, becoming an aduchas, vasto lordes, and then arrancar, not that we really followed the rules for that either, but if you'd even done that, then you'd know the chaos it is, trying to find the energy to advance to the next stage."

"And that comes from..._eating_ everyone?" Tatsuki looked vaguely sick. She glanced at me, but I turned resolutely out over the city, not wanting her to see my face and think of me as an insane cannibal. Inoue avoided her eye as well, though I wasn't sure if it was because of the same reasons as me.

"More or less."

"So this...this is, what, mashed up hollow? Or did they gather the wholes and shape them into this?" Tatsuki sounded rough and confused, and Ishida sighed.

"I was doing some digging when I found out about it," he started, shifting a little. "I stumbled upon one of the rooms above the kitchens. They use one of Ambala's machines to pulverize dead hollows, and then...shape it from there."

Tatsuki set down her bowl, looking like she might vomit.

"But, I believe this makes the perfect segue," he continued, ignoring her discomfort. Tatsuki stared at him, still looking sick and a little confused. She didn't know what was coming, but I kind of did. Inoue's face was closed off, lips pursed, eyes shut, blocking her emotions form us.

"Ever think it was strange that you were an arrancar, just like that? A snap, your chain's cut, you're a hollow, you're advancing through the stages of gillian, aduchas and the vasto lordes in the blink of an eye and then you're an _arrancar_? No, that seems off to me." Ishida frowned, the yellow dot that was both pupil and iris under his mask turning to his hands.

"So?"

"_'So?'_ Tatsuki, when you're with us, you'll learn that if something weird or different is happening, then it means someone's tampering with things," I snapped, tilting my head in her direction a little. I could only think of Aizen and all the mayhem he'd caused, and all because I hadn't stopped to ask _why_ anything was happening.

"Yeah, like me dying and then turning into a demon-thing isn't weird or anything..." she grumbled, but we all ignored her.

"It's just that, Tatsuki, things...they just don't feel _right_," Inoue said, making a weak attempt at trying to explain. She held her palms up towards Tatsuki, as if offering the explanation in her hands, and Tatsuki just needed to take it from her. Tatsuki shook her head, focusing on Ishida.

"Alright, Uryu, what've you got?"

"Well, I think someone intended for us to go back to Karakura," he started, frowning. "But that could be for any reason."

"Like what?" I asked, curious myself.

"Well, depending on the person wanting us away, say it was Helyan, he could be doing something we wouldn't approve of, or something we'd interfere with."

"So you think he'd shady too!"

"Of _course_ I do, Kurosaki," Ishida scoffed, rolling his eyes like he couldn't believe he was having to explain the sky was blue to a three-year-old. Or, in Hueco Mundo's case, black. "_Everyone_ does. There's something he's got going on, that's for sure. But it seems..."

"That everyone does," Inoue finished quietly. I looked at her, but her eyes were on something far away.

"Right. But, if it's someone else, if it's actually Central trying to draw us out into open ground, then the motive is clear in that they just want us gone."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"I think that the most likely answer is that...they wanted us to get you. Any amount of research would have told this mystery person that Inoue had a close friend back in Karakura. That'd be the perfect bait. If we didn't get going by ourselves, it would have been easy to bring you up, Arisawa."

"Well, I bet it was quite the surprise when this person found out I was turned into a hollow."

"Not necessarily. They could have simply assumed that you...didn't survive Inoue's visit." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Inoue stiffen and Tatsuki cast her a measuring look, and I realized none of us had said 'Inoue killed Tatsuki'. "The was only a body left behind, right? It'd be easy to assume that Inoue had killed her and then ate her soul. So they ju-"

"No, no that's not right!" Inoue said suddenly, jerking forward, frowning a little. "I...I don't know how it happened, but Tatsuki..." she glanced at the girl beside her, "she didn't have a body. I mean, it was so strange. I had...she had just stopped breathing, and then...her chain." Inoue gestured weakly, trying to get us to understand.

"That's not possible, Inoue. When you die, the chain of fate attaches your soul to your body. You can only die if that chain is cut. Inoue, I'm sorry, but no one else was in the room, and...the chain of fate can only been cut by a zanpakuto."

"But I didn't! I didn't do that, I swear! I'd never-I got my mind back after that! Tatsuki, you have to trust me, I-"

"Then how is she dead?" I asked softly, though probably not as gently as I should have.

"I don't know," Ishida said, eyebrows furrowing at this new twist. "It's just that it all seems too perfect. We go to Karakura, Inoue goes to see Tatsuki. Tatsuki dies, and then instantly turns into a hollow, then an arrancar. Now she's the novena espada? That's just not right."

I frowned and nodded, suddenly feeling like I couldn't think with people around me. Feeling slightly claustrophobic, I stood up, and everyone stared at me.

"I'm going to train," I said shortly. They all gave reluctant nods, and I walked away before I could hear anymore on the topic.

Ishida thought someone had _made_ Tatsuki into a hollow? Yeah, her transformation from whole to arrancar was insane, but...contrived? That seemed a bit much. And who'd want that? The people he'd listed off, Central, Helyan, they couldn't _gain_ by making her into one of the strongest people in Hueco Mundo. But there had definitely been some serious tampering with Tatsuki...

I saw a couple hollows on my way out, and they stared openly, though I couldn't figure out if it was hostile or not. Then I laughed at myself for thinking that, because, really, it was becoming all too clear that just about _everything_ was hostile to me these days.

**_AN Ichigo, mate, you need to work some things out. Honestly. You're getting paranoid and I'm worrying for your mental state._**

**_Review and tell me what you think about the new chapter~  
_**


	18. Release the Beast

_**AN OOOOOOOOH MAN IT'S BEEN A WHILE. I feel kind of guilty because I totally didn't think about this until a day ago, but by the graces of the writing gods, I was able to write this and get it edited in surprisingly little time. Man, there's nothing like a little panic to get you going XD  
**_

Out in the desert, I felt less constricted. There wasn't anybody out here but me; no numeros to stare at me, no fellow espada to murmur and theorize about our reason for being here and what the other hollows would do to us if they had the chance. Why couldn't they just...let things be? The more they thought about all of this, why we were there, who was out to get us, what other people thought, heck, what the _food_ was even made of, the more problems arose. Things had been fine to start with! Sure, we were a little unsteady on our feet, but we worked together fine, there wasn't this..._tension_ in the very air.

Yelling, I kicked at a dune, wanting to get rid of all of this _anger_ that was building inside me, but I only got more pissed as a bucketful of sand dropped onto my shoulders. I screamed out a curse, sinking a fist into the sand and falling on my hands and knees. While I laid my face in the sand, all I could think was that I would give _anything_ to have an enemy in front of me. In battle, there wasn't any dwelling on the past or what others thought or anything really, just the next move you needed to land.

Battle..._battle._ When was the last time I'd fought? Sure, I enjoyed lapses of calm, but it'd been, what, two years since I'd had a nice fight, one that was all adrenaline with everything on the line? All I'd had recently were quick scuffles, generally ending with me _eating_ the opponent a few moments after the fight started, and that was a pathetic substitute for the real deal.

The thought of sinking Semidiós into someone, _anyone_ was so exciting that I found myself starting to laugh, a hysteric cackle, thrilled at the thought of battle and stepping over body after body of my opponents and other, less important peo-

I choked on sand, gagging and coughing as I sat up, shocked that I had been consumed by such _blood lust_. That wasn't me. That wasn't Kurosaki Ichigo. That was...that was someone else.

_To think, you've been a hollow for so long now, and yet can't even come to terms with a hollow's hunger._

"The hunger I can deal with," I coughed out, wiping my mouth as I pulled Semidiós off my back. "The need for killing...that's a whole other story."

_Isn't it the same thing?_

Pursing my lips, I pushed down the feeling of being sick, quietly wondering if it was because of the sand or the exact detail of the carnage I had imagined. I brushed some of the sand out of my hair, shrugging and standing up.

"So, Semidiós, what do you have for me today?" I put my hands on my hips, setting my shoulders. Whatever emotions you felt while dealing with a zanpakuto would affect the way they interacted with you, and I was figuring that it would be the same for an arrancar and its sword. The disgust, fear and worry weren't going to get me anywhere unless I ditched them _real_ fast.

I waited for a few seconds, grinning a little when I got no answer.

"Right then. Guess I'll have to claw it out of you."

_And how will you do that? You're not going to train with me the same way you did with your old sword._

"Yeah? I kind of think that if I harass you enough, you'll just get so fed up you'll give me whatever I want until I shut up."

_Taking this lightly isn't doing you any favors._

"Who said I was joking?" I asked, smirking a little then concentrated. I could feel an...aura around Semidiós, similar to reiatsu, and I had a feeling that if I could just...pull it apart, it'd get me somewhere.

_This isn't going to be some walk in the park, you know that, right?_

I frowned, pulling back a little. Granted, I didn't know very much about Semidiós, his personality and the way he talked, other than the fact that he was aloof and a real jerk, but something seemed..._off_ about how he spoke just then.

_You've really got to work at it and work at it, until you think you won't be able to __**breathe.**_

Gathering my reiatsu, I focused it on a small section in the aura, where the energy seemed to waver. I attacked it, smashing all of the reiatsu I could spare into it, which was a quite a considerable amount, if I did say so myself.

_Don't do that! _Semidiós yelled, and I rolled my eyes.

"Like I'd stop! I'm starting to get somewhere!" I kept at it, throwing my reiatsu at it again and again, and I could hear the thrum of power in the air, power that seemed to be leaking from Semidiós.

_You pull that barrier apart, and you're gonna regret it-_

I yelled, blocking out the words, feeling that I was just a breath away from beating it, and then-

_If you do this, then I'm gonna __**freak.**_

- tore a hole in the aura. I gasped, instantly wanting to undo what I'd just done, but in that moment, I felt something crack inside me.

Screaming, I fell back, horror trying to choke me. I knew this feeling, and had prayed that I'd never feel it again. I knew what was going to happen now, but furiously tried to deny it.

My back arched, and a shriek ripped itself from me, one part mirth, ten parts sheer insanity. I could feel my body changing, fingers turning into claws, the remains of my mask flaking away, clothes singing and turning black from the sheer _heat_ of my skin.

_No no no! This is __**not**__ happening, it's not possible, no! Semidiós, what's goin-_

**"Sorry, but he's not here right now."**

I could feel my lips moving, hear the voice that sounded like mine, only completely different, but I _refused_ to believe that I was saying them. This couldn't happen, I had thought that he was gone-

**"Ah, long time no see, eh? Have you been a good boy since I've been gone?"** My body sat up, and I fought desperately to pull that painful smile off my face.

**"You're surprised, ain't ya? Didn't you understand me last time? I told you plain and clear-'**_**The next time you **__**freak**__**, just wait. I'll be the one to **__**freak**__** for you**_**.'" **I snarled at the words, my expression and the unnatural leer mixing into something grotesque. His words from back when we'd all just turned into arrancar echoing in my head, telling me that he wasn't gone, just hiding, waiting for the moment to snatch away the control.**  
**

"No, there's no way you're going to beat me!" I spat out, somehow managing to pull myself back in control enough to talk.

**"Oh, so you do remember! But partner, you **_**know**_** I'm the stronger one here! **_**Just try it!**_**"** he yelled, and I can't possibly explain the insanity of having someone else use your mouth to talk. I could feel him shove me away, regaining control of my hands, which stretched forward, reaching for my sword-

"_I'm not gonna let you!" _I screamed, grabbing hold of my arm. How was I supposed to fight him? We were using the same body, both reluctant to come to physical blows because, obviously, who ever won was going to have to deal with the injuries.

**"Poor little King, he's the Primera, he's so powerful that he can't trust anybody! Why don't I take care of that for you, eh? Just **_**cut everyone out of the picture!"**_

"I thought you were gone!"

**"Of course not, it's just that that idiot **_**Semidiós**_** tried to keep me locked up,"** he said, the sneer in his voice when he said 'Semidiós' clearly showed his contempt. **"But once you'd figured out his name, it was only a matter of time before you let me out. I was gonna try and escape once you lost your hold on yourself, but this is just as good."**

"Do us a favor and die, alright?" I grunted, trying to pull us as far away from my zanpakuto as possible. I wished I could hear what he was thinking, as it would help me counteract him, but I could only hear my own desperate thoughts and the sand as I kicked us back up the dune.

**"Go **_**die**_**? But King, do you really want to kill your release?"**

"W-_what?_" I was dumbfounded long enough for Hichigo to roll us back down the dune, towards the sword, but I clicked back in just in time to keep my hand from shooting out. We rolled past it, making Hichigo curse wildly, and his rage gave him the power to stretch out a hand. Desperately I grabbed it with the other hand, nails dragging through the heirro like is was no tougher than a ripe peach.

That was about when I realized that my skin was completely white, and that I had a cuff of red..._fur_ on my wrist. What was going on? Why had I recessed to my aduchas form?

**"Haven't figured it out yet? Well let me set ya straight-**_**I'm your **__**release form**__. _**So just let me take control like you want!"**

"No! You can't be my release, you're my inner hollow, and-"

**"-and hollows can't have inner hollows? You've gotta be kidding me. Partner, you really are one stupid guy."**

"Why am I back to being an aduchas, then?"

**"You're **_**not**_**, idiot. Here, why don't you take a moment to check yourself out."** The hand Hichigo was controlling reached up and pressed itself against my cheek, and I realized it really was _my cheek._ There was no mask covering it, nothing but skin. I snapped the hand away, staring at it, and seeing that it wasn't the same as it had been while I was an aduchas. Instead, red slashed its way down my arms and chest, and a black sash wrapped up my left arm and through my hollow hole.

"Wha-_I've released?"_

**"**_**Obviously**_**. Now that we've got that all straightened out, let me just-"**

"No!" I screamed, grabbing my arm again as it reached for the zanpakuto. I pulled it under me, gritting my teeth.

If I was in my resurreccion...then I was as high as I could go, unless I somehow figured out how to get to the second stage like Ulquiorra did, but I was pretty sure the world didn't need to see _that_ particular horror anytime soon. I was as powerful as I could get...but what techniques could I use? I'd seen some of the bizarre skills arrancar had used when they released, and had heard tales of others from the other espada when we didn't have much to do. Would I ever be able to learn them, or would I have to rely on brute strength when I released? _If _I managed to break Hichigo into submission.

**"Look King, look how far we can go! Think of all the power I can give you! We worked together in the past, right?"**

"And you just as easily stole my body for yourself! I'm not going to let you take control and kill all my friends!"

**"Kill your friends? Aw****, that sounds like a pretty good idea! Why not go down the line, eh? Start with Orihime-chan, she's the weakest so she'll go fast, but I'm sure she's gonna look **_**wild**_** when she sees us."**

"Don't call her weak!" I yelled, thinking of how she'd said as much back when we'd first become espada.

**"Oh yeah? Does the fact that she'd got her **_**nakama**_** around magically boost her power? 'Cause if not, she's just a weak little b-"**

"_Don't_ say it! She's not weak, and I'm not going to let you kill anybody!"

**"Don't delude yourself, King. I'm gonna kill her, then Tatsuki and Rukia, right up to your friend Segunda, and then it's gonna be **_**everybody I lay eyes on."**_He jerked his hand up, and managed to snatch Semidiós, the edges slicing my fingers. I yelled and he laughed, and it mixed into some strange shriek. Hichigo pulled us up, using the other hand to grab hold of the hilt.

"_I won't let you!" _I grunted, grabbing again at the arm holding the zanpakuto. My hand had healed by now, but the fingers were still slick with blood, making my hand slip for a moment as I tried for a firm grip. With a snarl, Hichigo sank the sword into my arm, beyond caring what state the body was in so long as he won.

"You can do whatever you want to me, carve me up, beat me senseless or torture me with your words, but I'll _always _manage to stop you in the end. You don't think I will? Just _try me_."

I waited, expecting Hichigo to do something drastic, but he just tore Semidiós out of my arm, which, after a moment, healed back up. He seemed to be considering, but I wasn't sure if was because he was remembering how much of a pain it was dealing with a broken body, or that he knew that when I set my mind to something, I was a terror to stop.

**"Say...Partner?"**

"What?" I spat, waiting, waiting.

**"What if we call a truce?"**

"A truce?" I asked skeptically. "Just like that? No go, you've got something up your sleeve."

**"A truce where I help you fine tune this thing, so long as you let me do **_**whatever I want**_** when it comes time to fight Helyan."**

"Fight Helyan? What's he got to do with anything?"

**"Nothing,"** he said after a moment, a sneering laugh in his voice, like he enjoyed knowing something I didn't, **"he's just the sort that **_**somebody's**_** gotta kill, even if it's 'cause he's so annoying. You just have to make sure that it's me."**

"...You mean that you'll just..._do whatever I say,_ no bloody battle, no threats of crushing my head, no fight, no _nothing_, you'll help so long as...you get to kill Helyan? You've gotta be kidding me."

**"Geez King, you really **_**are**_** as stupid as spit. If you wanna fight, then I'll just cut you down now and go on my way."** He raised the zanpakuto as if he could just cut me out of the body, and I held up the other hand in protest.

"Hold on, hold on, I'm just a little taken aback, sorry. Usually you loathe doing anything similar to cooperation and fight to the teeth when I need your power."

**"Yeah, but you're just as bent on winning as I am."**

"So?"

**"So while I'd beat you anyways, I don't wanna ruined body to play with, do I?"**

"You've just displayed how high speed my regeneration is," I said, raising my arm pointedly, and he snorted.

**"That only works for so long, King. So, we have a deal or not?"**

"...Yeah. Sure. You help me figure this resurreccion out, and I let you kill Helyan." I was a little wary, agreeing to such a sketchy deal, considering he always had a trick up his sleeve, but he backed off, letting me have control of the rest of my body. Once he withdrew, I felt instantly exhausted, moving and speaking for two people almost at once.

Swearing, I flopped on my back, thinking that sleep was just about the best thing in the world.

_**What're ya doin', King? We've got work to do! **_I groaned, hearing his voice in my head, but figured that it was better than hearing it out loud.

_**By the time we're done, I swear, you're gonna wish you'd taken the option of fighting me. My way of training's like **_**nothing else.**

Well, crap.

**_AN Hi~chi~gooooooooo! Oh, I really love you, I really, really do, but sadly, since you're just Ichigo's release form...we won't be seeing you all that much. Actually, I'm kind of surprised how _little_ we see Hichi, I mean, other than this scene, he's had a total of, what, five lines? I would have expected him to make more of an appearance, but I guess that just didn't happen..._**


	19. Secrecy is the Best

_**AN Oh, I like this chapter. It contains a scene that I've been thinking about for quite a while, and I'm excited to be able to finally get it in.  
**_

Masafumi casually walked away from his squad's housing, acting like he took discreet walks after dark every day. Still, he cloaked his spiritual pressure, hoping no one would meet him along the way. He had managed to slip between two buildings, into the silent darkness, the first signs of relief starting in him, when he spotted someone leaning against a wall a few yards ahead of him.

"Good evening, taicho," said Hisagi, and Masafumi felt his stomach drop.

"Evening, fukutaicho. What are you doing here?"

"Just resting. You?"

"Just taking a walk. You should head inside so those new members don't go off their heads worrying."

People had started to fill in the gaps left from the war, at a rate that had at first relieved the higher officers, but were now becoming worrisome. It seemed that there was a new person ever couple of weeks, which was rather bizarre. If all these people had just been hanging around the districts, why did it take them almost three years to step forward? A new vice-captain had been selected for Ukitake, and there was rumors about a new captain being selected sometime soon. A captain who had the support of one of the Central selected captains and quite a few Central members themselves.

"Of course, taicho," Hisagi said, nodding. "I'll make sure to tell them that you're researching the new column we started."

"Good work. I'll be back soon. Make sure you keep an eye on that third seat Hibari. She has a tendency to pay attention to other people's work and not her own." He waved at Hisagi as he walked on, glad to know that he didn't have to hide anything from his vice-captain. Things would have been immeasurably more complicated if he had to worry about watching what he said around him.

Once Masafumi was a good ways from the Seireitei, he dared to shunpo through the districts. He was anxious, glancing over his shoulder to make sure that none of his subordinates were following him. All day he'd been swamped by new members, asking about due dates and advice on advancing to a seated post, and rather annoying and trivial things that eventually turned into them just wanting be around him. Masafumi had been unable to keep the words _'watching him'_ out of his head when it'd happened.

But now he was free, with Hisagi covering his absence. Now he could go to the meeting.

He entered the forest, hurrying through until he reached a clearing. A total of five people were there, the captains of squads two, six and twelve, as well as two lower officers. Masafumi vaguely recognized them as the fukutaicho from ten and third seat from eleven.

"Were there any problems on the way here?" Soi Fon asked, and he shook his head, joining their circle.

"No. Hisagi is covering for me."

"That's great. Now, what're we gonna do about this?" Ikkaku asked, tapping his zanpakuto on his shoulder. Masafumi gave him a hard look, wondering if the rumors he'd heard about the third seat were true. Apparently he was on par with a captain, but had declined advancing in rank for some strange reason.

"There's very little we _can_ do," Mayuri said shortly, scowling at the man. "The fact is at least one third of the entire Gotei is filled with these _impostors._ For some reason Central is pulling strings to get their lapdogs in place, and when they do-"

"We don't know _what_ they'll do," Soi Fon interrupted, scowling and folding her arms. "No matter how much we guess and strategize and pray, we have no idea why Central is planting their own people."

"So what can we do about it? They've already started watching us," Matsumoto put in, looking serious and pale under the moonlight. "My new taicho has been giving me useless chores to do, where I'm always watched by _somebody._ I'm guessing it's the same for all of you."

"No, not me," Ikkaku said, waving a hand. "I guess they think that Squad 11's too dumb to think of anything other than fighting the first idiot who comes around. Which is true, for most of them."

"I didn't come here to listen to how helpless we are," Byakuya said, cold voice slicing through the quiet chatter that had started. "There is a solution, we just have to find it."

"Like what, Kuchiki? We can't kill or confine them, think about the state the rest of the Soul Society would be in. Central destroyed twice in three years, captains defecting, about half of the Gotei supporting an unknown cause? That'd cause open chaos. And we'd just be throwing gas on the flame if we attacked them all or tried to confine them. But we can't even do that, because all we _think_ we know is that they _may_ be hostile, but we have no real idea," Masafumi said bluntly, meeting Byakuya's cold gaze. "We're running around in the dark, holding secret meetings in small numbers because we're afraid of the repercussions that Central may give us. I'm pretty sure that this entire meeting tonight was to confirm that we can't do anything."

"Not necessarily, Masafumi. There are ways other than direct violence to subdue the situation," Mayuri said, cocking his head. "There's always interrogation, which we can pull off very quietly indeed, and very quickly."

"How quickly?" Soi Fon asked, narrowing her eyes, seeming interested. Mayuri gave a twisted smile that set Masafumi's teeth on edge.

"I can break them within hours, and that's without any permanent damage to their bodies. I've found that certain..._chemicals_ are very effective in making people start to talk."

"It's a possibility. But what do we do once we drag the information out of them? We've still got that problem of destroying all the confidence the people have in the shinigami." Ikkaku frowned, clenching his fist.

"There'll be riots and maybe even attacks against us. Then the hollows will pick everyone off at their leisure," Matsumoto finished, hand settling instinctively on her hilt.

"If we stand around waiting, we'll end up dead."

"_Thank you,_ Kuchiki-taicho. We now have a firm grasp of the obvious," Mayuri hissed, rolling his eyes. "I think it'd be obvious-we ask the escaped arrancar."

"You mean Kurosaki and his group? That's not an option," Masafumi hissed, gritting his teeth. "They are rogues and murderers. Did you forget that-"

"-you helped them as well?" Byakuya asked, words like ice. "Every captain and ranked officer that remains from the War has helped them, and you know it. If they could-"

"Could _what_? They are hidden somewhere in Hueco Mundo, and we'd have to fight just about every hollow to find them. And if we do, I wouldn't be surprised if traitors like them just ate us on the spot. If they even retain their reason, why _would_ they help us?"

"We can force them," Mayuri suggested. "I never did get to finish my testing on them, and if we could just _find _them..."

"We're not doing _anything_ to them. That will only make things worse." Byakuya glared at them all, crushing any consideration they gave to the matter.

"Why? Merely because your sister is one of them doesn't mean you should sacrifice the balance of everything," sneered Mayuri, and Masafumi decided that the captain was definitely insane, if only for the reason that he was openly baiting Byakuya.

"That isn't the reason," Soi Fon said, intervening before one of the captains did something rash. "Look at the havoc they made the first time they broke out, and they weren't even vasto lordes. Now as arrancar, with time to fester and learn new tactics and techniques, I think we'll be lucky to escape with even a _section_ of the Soul Society intact."

"We're falling fast," Matsumoto said, hands on her hips. "Is this what our enemies want? To just wait around until we break apart? This is ridiculous. We _need_ to find a solution, and the best we have is to ask for assistance from Kurosaki's band of friends. We do _not_ need to torture them for no reason, they've already been made guinea pigs by Central. They weren't even supposed to _survive_ the testing, isn't that right, Mayuri-taicho?"

"I was told I could go as far as I wanted," he admitted, looking a little pleased with the idea, even though it was almost a year later.

"So if they've been posing a serious problem for Central. Those nine are an unknown quantity, they can do anything and we'll never see it coming. Plus, they know that we helped them, thanks to Ukitake and Shunsui-taicho, and that it's Central who's to blame. Even if they have no humanity left, they'll still want revenge on Central. So, if they just..._raided_ the Soul Society, there will be a suitable reason for the numbers of the shinigami to be drastically lowered, maybe even Central will be affected."

Masafumi had to admit, behind all the boobs, hair and love of slacking off, Matsumoto Rangiku definitely had a brain working back there.

"It would be ideal...letting them take the blame," he said, thinking. "And if we could just reverse their condition, give them their reason back..."

"Not possible," Mayuri said flatly. "Once a whole has been turned into a hollow, there is no way of turning them back. The sublimation process would break them down, until they are little more than reishi."

Everyone went silent, not liking the prospects before them. If it came down to it, they all knew that they would rather let the nine rogues take the blame than watch the entire system fall.

"If we do go with the arrancar plan, and they really are without reason...then we can not let them continue to go on uncontrolled." Byakuya's voice was low, a rumble in the air.

"We're not strong enough for that," Masafumi said, narrowing his eyes. He had a feeling as to where Byakuya was taking this, and he didn't like it.

"Then we kill them." Nearly everyone in the clearing stiffened, struck by the heartlessness of what he said.

"At this point...it would be the greatest kindness we could give them."

_I'm not sure which is worse,_ Masafumi thought as they disjoined, returning to their squads, _the fact that we have to turn to such pathetic and deceiving tactics or that using and then killing those souls is the best thing anyone can do for them._

* * *

I stumbled back into Cuidad Muerta, so utterly exhausted I could hardly see straight, and breathing was a chore. Hichigo hadn't been kidding, training with him...well, it was insanity in a box. I could hardly describe it, how he'd first made me do a thousand useless exercises, which mostly involved finding and killing hollows in strange ways. He'd give me a sort of handicap, stop me from using my right arm, or shut my eyes, or, in other words, made me look like a total moron.

_Finally_, once I'd probably carved up a couple dozen hollows, he said that we'd get down to the _real_ training.

"What was all that for, then?" I'd yelled at him, muscles shaking from exhaustion.

_**You've gotta figure out what it's like to just **_**lose it**_**, and this is the best way how.**_

"So now what?" I asked savagely.

_**Now? Now partner, we start training.**_

With that, he had me start almost literally _rip a hole_ in my own reiatsu. I wasn't sure how I did it, or what use it was, but I was learning that whatever Hichigo did was done with a purpose, not matter how strange or useless it seemed to me.

The only thing I really wanted now was a bed and a loooooong time to sleep, which was unfortunate considering that I had to go to training soon.

I somehow managed to hobble to my room and flop on my bed without meeting anyone, a blessing that I didn't experience much. I drifted off to sleep, but then I was being woken up by Shinji all too soon_._

"Hey, Ichigo, wake up! You said you'd come to training about now, and you've got some people askin' for you."

_Asking_ for me? As far as I knew, people either hated or were terrified of me, and weren't about to line up for me to teach them. Either way, I sat up, groggy and still feeling tired. I fumbled around for Semidios, then found the hilt and strapped it to my back.

"Who's gonna be teaching with us?" I asked, yawning and standing up.

"Chad and Tatsuki. Dij'you know that she's managed to combine both her reiatsu and her physical combat? From what I heard, she's been teachin' hollows how to wrap their fists with their reiatsu, so that when they hit something, they practically pulverize it."

"Yeah? And what happens when you use it on a person?"

"Not sure yet. But I have feeling that whatever happens will do more damage to them on the _inside _than on the out." We left the room, ambling down to the training hall, not paying attention to anyone we passed.

"Sounds scary. And I thought that she had a killer arm before."

"You sure know how to pick your friends Ichigo, I gotta hand you that. They're total monsters."

"It'd make me glad that we're on the same side, but considering that when they're mad with me, they tend to _hit_ me..."

"Not so much," Shinji laughed, and I shrugged.

While we were walking, I started to wonder how far Shinji had progressed. Training for the espada was a personal affair, and we didn't like _anybody_ to find out what we'd been doing. One, because we weren't sure if we'd blow up and kill everyone around us, and two, because it was just _awkward._ When self-training, you either looked insane or pretty dumb, since it was a lot of feeling around in the dark.

Now that I had figured out my release, well, sort of. I wasn't entirely sure if I'd be able tot do it again, and was well on my way to developing some techniques, I had questions about Shinji and Hiyori and Rukia and everyone else. We'd been here a long time, and just because it'd taken me this long to release, it hardly meant that everyone else had been so slow. With us, whenever we made progress, it wasn't a steady flow. It was more a jerky skyrocket that left everyone else dizzy and a little confused.

The two of us reached the training hall, listening to the sounds of battle for a moment before entering. It was still a little strange, knowing that I was supposed to _train_ people, when I'd always been the dumb student, desperate for help.

We walked in, not sparing a glance towards the man who smashed into a pillar to our right. He fell to the ground, coughing and weakly trying to stand up as his opponent casually stalked towards him.

"What are you doing?" Tatsuki yelled, and I turned my head to see her, arms folded, clearly at ease in this teaching business. She glared at the guy's opponent, a thin, red headed guy, baring her teeth. "You wait to go in, you just _waltz_ over, and he has the chance to kill you! By the time you get over there, he could have blasted your head off with a cero!"

The red head stopped, sneering at her with his hands on his hips.

"There's no way he's got enough energy left for a cero," he sneered, and then the guy on the ground spat "How about a bala?", and fired one at the red head's chest.

It caught him in the arm, as he managed to start away, slow from surprise. Tatsuki saw us and rolled her eyes, moving her head a little to emphasize her disgust. I smirked, and shrugged.

"Alright, alright, don't waste time!" she said, walking with the fight as bala guy pushed himself up and continued the attack.

"Glad to see she's adjusted nicely," Shinji said, and I grinned. It was nice to see something I did turn out well.

Two almost identical arrancar sparred to our left, giving blows that left craters and giant cracks in the walls. By now, I'd stopped wondering how the hall managed to magically repair itself of the damage it took in battle. Instead, I focused on the combatants. I'd seen them before, and from what I'd heard, they were twin brothers who looked exactly alike, except for their masks, which were supposedly puzzle pieces for each other. I had yet to get close enough to actually figure this out for myself. Apparently the two of them had been utterly savage until Helyan came along. I was starting to notice that he whipped a lot of people into silent obedience, which was something I did not like at _all._

"What're their names again?" I asked Shinji, who had stopped too, watching them with a thoughtful gaze.

"Gil and Gonzalo Ezpir. Two of Helyan's known lap dogs."

"Great."

"Isn't it though?"

We watched them for a little while, and Shinji went over to help one of them with their style. I was called away to help a female arrancar who had was constantly yelling and gesticulating in excitement, even though I was just teaching her a new set of punches and kicks. While she practiced her form, I took time to survey the others. Immediately Tatsuki caught my eye, explaining something to _Vermalda._

Maybe it was just me and that fact that we'd pissed each other off from day one, but I'd seriously thought that all of the espada hated her, too, but Tatsuki looked as casual as ever, like it was just one more student. Coupled with the fact that she made a point of skipping our training sessions, it was a little shocking to see her _here. _Helyan had forced her to come Helyan had forced her to go, considering he'd gone through all that work (in other words,trading equipment for us to be able to go to Karakura for us teaching his underlings in about a minute) to set up these little play dates.

I glanced back at the girl I was training, adjusting her stance slightly. I turned back around when I heard Tatsuki and Vermalda sparring. For some reason, I got this horrible feeling, right in my stomach.

Vermalda was fast, but she didn't seem that strong. Tatsuki kept yelling at her to throw harder punches, to get more velocity behind her attacks, do _something_ so Tatsuki wasn't batting away flies all day! Vermalda kept a cool head though, face set as she went through the moves Tatsuki taught her.

The girl I was training stopped, focusing on Tatsuki and Vermalda as well. I don't know if it was the intensity of the fight or because Tatsuki had taught her some _fantastic _moves, but other people started watching, too. Completely silent, we stared at them, watching as Vermalda landed a kick on Tatsuki's chest, how Tatsuki grabbed her ankle and threw her at the ground. Vermalda landed on her feet, skidding backwards, jumping back up to exchanged blows with her again.

The sense of foreboding grew a little heavier as Vermalda kicked Tatsuki in the back, making her smash into the ground. Tatsuki tried to get up and protect herself, but then Vermalda was on her, smashing a knee into her back. I didn't feel too bothered by it, as Vermalda had chosen not to drive her feet into Tatsuki's spine as she was rocketing down towards her, rather, she opted to land and then hit Tatsuki, which showed she was still in control. She still had the calm expression on her face as she flipped Tatsuki over, pinning her arms underneath her.

My hand settled on my sword hilt as Vermalda's face turned into a sneer, eyes wild as she wrapped her fingers around the edge of Tatsuki's mask. Tatsuki struggled, bucking and kicking, but it seemed like everyone was frozen, horror freezing us. When Tatsuki _screamed_, Vermalda pulling on the lip of her mask, completely deaf to the sound she was making, I started running, furious for some reason I didn't understand.

The person who jerked Vermalda off of Tatsuki though, was _Jacintha._ I skid to a halt, wondering where she'd come from, almost more alarmed by Jacintha's cold glare than by the fact that Vermalda had just tried to rip off Tatsuki's mask.

"J-Jacintha," Vermalda said, shock obvious on her face. It was quickly replaced by a flat indifference, but I could have sworn that for just a moment there was solid fear in Vermalda's eyes.

"What do you think you're doing," Jacintha asked coldly, stepping over Tatsuki, drawing her zanpakuto. "Attacking the one of the espada like that, it's _disgusting._"

"Why am I to blame," Vermalda demanded, moving back a little, worried despite her tough talk. " She couldn't defend herself. It's hollow nature to kill what's not strong enough to kill you."

"You've been told repeatedly, by both us and Sindervanch-sama," Jacintha hissed, sounding so much older than the pigtailed little girl who had found us in the middle of the desert. Honestly, she looked a little demonic, with her hard eyes and angry looking mask. "You've crossed to many lines, Vermalda. Sindervanch-sama will deal with you now."

"Fine then," Vermalda said, folding her arms. "Let him deal with me all he wants, I don't care. I'd rather be dead than have _trash_ be my superiors."

Jacintha slapped Vermalda, hand moving so fast I couldn't see it. Vermalda looked slowly back at Jacintha, and spat blood at her feet. The girl turned away sharply, raising her voice for the people who weren't watching to hear.

"Training is dismissed. Sindervanch-sama says that he is pleased with your progress. Kurosaki-sama," she said, turning to me, and the harsh adult look fell from her face slightly. "He says that you no longer need to teach the hollows. You and the rest of the espada have paid your debt."

With that, she just...walked out, sword still unsheathed, back still straight like she was a military official.

Hollows started exiting, leaving without making eye contact with anybody. Vermalda stood up, eyes narrowed at Tatsuki, who looked a little wary. She didn't say anything, merely turned her eyes to me, of all people.

"Primera-sama. I'm not sure if I'm lucky or not that Wyngaard-sama got to me before you did," she said, giving a laugh that was more huff than anything. I just looked at her, and she bowed, probably not scornfully for the first time. Vermalda walked away, and I helped Tatsuki up, looking into her face to see if she was alright. She looked shaken, and I wondered what had just happened.

"I'm fine," she said roughly, jerking her arm out of my grasp. "Really, just...give me some room."

By now, we were the only ones in the room, other than Shinji, who was giving us a seemingly casual distance.

"Okay," I said after a pause. "Alright." I raised my hands, backing up a step, and she took a breath, setting her shoulders and heading to the door.

"I'm just glad that we don't have to train them any more."

"Yeah, that's a relief. Tatsuki?"

"Mm?" she asked, and turned her head to see my fist, swinging towards her face. She jerked back, shocked, but I stopped it before it hit her between the eyes.

"Now we both know that an 'alright Tatsuki' would have dodged that and then kicked me in the stomach," I told her, dropping my arm. Tatsuki looked away, embarrassed, clenching her fists.

"Fine! I'm kind of freaked out by what just happened, and I have no idea why! Happy?"

"Not especially. I kind of want to talk to Vermalda about that little incident," I said, a snarl creeping across my face. Tatsuki scowled, putting a hand on my arm.

"Ichigo, I don't need you to go kill people who attack me," she said sternly, and I waved my hand. I'd had enough killing from Hichigo's training.

"I don't want to hurt her. I just want to talk, honest." Tatsuki pursed her lips, and I rolled my eyes.

"Honest."

By now, Shinji had caught up with us, hands in pockets as we walked towards the door.

"Everybody fine?" he asked, and I shrugged, not quite sure how to answer. Something a whole lot more serious than we understood had just happened, and I didn't know when of if we'd find out _what_ it was.

"Uh...yeah. I guess."

"You two notice that particularly strange change in Jacintha-chan?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've only spoken to her a handful of times, but before, she was..."

"Little kiddy," I said flatly, and they both nodded.

The three of us left the chamber, but I stopped just outside the door.

"Ichigo?" Shinji asked, eyes narrowing, obviously sensing the same thing as me. Vermalda, standing in an adjacent hall.

"...Yeah?" I asked, dragging my gaze away from Vermalda's direction. Tatsuki hadn't noticed anything yet, other than the fact that I had stopped.

"Don't do anything dumb, alright?" he asked after a moment, and I nodded slowly. Shinji turned back toward Tatsuki, slinging his arm through her's.

"Let's talk, Arisawa-chan. We haven't done that hardly at all." Her attention was torn away from me, and I silently walked down the opposite side of the hall. The corridor I turned onto was dark, even though it was made of white stone like everything else in the place. Vermalda was leaning against the wall a ways down, and we appraised each other silently. When I was only a few feet away from her, she straightened.

"I wondered if you'd come if I stuck around," she said, and I just waited. I wasn't sure if I was going to attack her or not yet.

"What happened back there?"

"Which?" she asked, and I realized that this may have just been the first time we ever had a civil conversation. "The bit with Wyngaard-sama or-"

"Tatsuki."

"Well...I tried to rip her mask off," she said simply, shrugging a little. "That is...one of few faux pas in the hollow world."

I raised an eyebrow, and she sighed a little.

"Primera-sama, a hollow mask can really one be removed by only the hollow itself, otherwise irreparable harm can be caused to the hollows, especially arrancar."

A vague memory from when I'd become an arrancar rose in my mind, syncing with what Vermalda had said. The desire to rip off the rest of my mask had been so strong I wanted to _scream,_ but I knew that if I did, something awful would happen.

"What would have happened to Tatsuki if you had torn off her mask?" I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.

"Then she would have stagnated, powers permanently frozen. It is a forbidden, shameful thing, to tear off an arrancar's mask. If I had, then Novena-sama would have been unable to progress, to learn any new techniques, to get any farther than she was right at that moment."

I felt sick, falling back a step. Just _thinking _of Vermalda trying to do that to Tatsuki made me want to kill her right now.

"Then why did you try to?"

"I lost my head. I...Primera-sama, allow me to be frank."

"Be as painfully frank as you like," I told her carelessly. I much preferred to people being blunt than skirting around the matter at hand.

"I am _sick_ of having to _obey_ whatever dictator chooses to wander into Hueco Mundo, and lately, I think there have been a tad too many."

"What of it? Tatsuki was dragged here by bad luck, she's no dictator." Vermalda raised her eyebrows. She and every other hollow knew of me and the other eight who had fought in the Winter War against Aizen, and had probably guessed as to what had happened to make us come to Hueco Mundo, but no one knew about Tatsuki's situation except for the espada themselves. To everyone else, she was a nobody that was suddenly novena.

"Primera-sama, look a little deeper into things," she said, sounding a little exasperated. "You're going to get blindsided some day if you don't start thinking about everything that happens in front of you!"

"What are you trying to say? This has nothing to do with you trying to tear of Tatsuki's mask." I tried to keep my temper in check, because I knew that if I got angry, she'd get angry right back, and that wouldn't get me anywhere. I had the feeling that Vermalda wanted to say something, and she was definitely the kind that would say whatever was in her head, but there was something..._stopping _her. Which was really pissing me off because I just wanted to hear what she had to say and be done with it.

"I hate all of you," she said abruptly. "I hate all of you who think you're strong enough that you can just _lie_ and _trick_ everyone. So I decided that I should get rid of one of you, knock you down a few pegs. Novena-sama seemed like the weakest, so I went for her."

"But we haven't hid anything," I told her flatly. "In fact, _we're_ the ones being kept in the dark." Then I bit my cheek, because Shinji's warning of showing weakness was becoming more and more realistic every second. "And you're not making any sense. Tatsuki's just that-_novena._ Why go after her and not Inoue?"

"Primera-sama, just who _is_ this _Novena-sama_? She's a nobody, a nobody you know, and yet none of us hollows do," she said, soft and clear, and I realized that her hollow hole was placed at the back of her throat, giving me a glimpse of dark hair. _"_How is she stronger than Decima-sama, who fought in the War?"

_"_I don't know, Tatsuki may not have been included on the War, but that doesn't mean she's weak-"

_"_Can she beat Decima-sama?"Vermalda asked flatly. I blinked, thinking about it. Inoue wasn't the same Inoue who lived in Karakura Town. Sure, she didn't have the cold, cruel personality of when she had been a vasto lordes, but it was there, the potential for it. I'd seen that side slip out, once or twice, and I knew that that Inoue wouldn't hold back on Tatsuki. And if Tatsuki didn't hold back on Inoue...

_"_She's not as familiar with all of this," I said, but that wasn't true. Tatsuki had had plenty of time to adjust, and I still didn't think that her superior physical strength would be equal with Inoue's reiatsu attacks.

"Then tell me why she's novena," Vermalda said, guessing what I was thinking. I paused, staring at her, and she nodded, just slightly. "Primera-sama, there is something going on here," she said, leaning in, voice lower than it had been. "And if somebody doesn't catch it quick, then there's going to be _nothing_ left."

"Is it Helyan?" I asked, thinking of him and his power over everyone, and how everyone feared him. That was something that reminded me all too much of Aizen, and anyone like that creep was worth killing on sight.

She made an indistinct head gesture, and shrugged. I noticed that she had gone stiff, and was gritting her teeth.

_"_You been to the city yet?"

_"_Yeah, a few times," I said, a little surprised at the abrupt subject change.

_"_Try going with all of the espada," she grunted, closing her eyes as if in pain. "You might find that there are some _fantastic_ things to learn from the hollows down there."

_"_Sure..." I waited, wondering what was wrong with her. Vermalda gave me a tight grin, and stepped away, brows furrowed in what I finally figured out was pain_._

_"_I hope you understand, Primera-sama. You're not going to get any more hints."

_"_I never liked getting too many," I told her. "Feels too much like cheating."

_"_I just don't think you'll figure it out with out them." She was still backing away, facing me, hands clenched at her sides. "Primera-sama," she said suddenly, a lot louder than she'd been speaking.

"Yeah?"

"It's been helpful, working with you," she told me, taking a bow. Somehow, this felt like the only sincere one I'd gotten from her. "Good-bye."

"Bye," I said softly, and she pulled back into the shadows. I paused, watching the spot she'd been in, and wondered why I wasn't more alarmed by all of this. She had definitely been trying to tell me something, but had been reduced to giving me round about answers and leads until she was in _pain._ What was wrong with her?

I turned and walked back to the rooms, running into Renji along the way.

"Hey, I heard that training was cancelled."

"Yeah. Apparently Sindervanch-sama thinks that we've made his slaves strong enough." I blinked at my word choice, surprised at how accurate it was.

"What's wrong, you seem strange," Renji said, looking serious.

"Nothing, I just...I have the feeling that something's going to happen. This calm, all of this..._nothing,_ it's gonna end real quick."

**_AN More cryptic endings. Wow. I need to break this habit. I really, really do. _**

**_What do you think about the shinigami scene? It was supposed to be rather short, but it kind of just...bloomed. And what about the tension that's mounting? It's just...agh. I'm squirming with excitement!_**


	20. Consequences

_**AN Phew, this one was pretty intense for me to write. I kept tensing up over what was happening. And oh my gosh, it's the twentieth chapter! *does little dance* I can hardly believe we've come all this way. Well, please enjoy.  
**_

"Primera-sama."

I looked around, on my way to the second story, where I could jump out of a window and go into the city. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't want anyone to know that I was going out.

A small arrancar was leaning against the wall, eyes on the floor.

"...Yeah?" My hand twitched for Semidios, and for a moment I lamented that I didn't have a normal, katana sized sword. At least then I wouldn't be so conspicuous when reaching for it.

She gave a small nod, flicking her eyes up to me, and I realized it was the quiet blonde girl always hanging around with Vermalda. As I was searching frantically for her name, I noticed something was off with her.

"Where's Vermalda?"

"She..." the girl swallowed, shrugged. "She was called away to speak with Sindervanch," she said, and I noticed that she had a distinct lack of honorific for him, a slap in the face of his superiority.

"To talk about what?" I asked, not liking the sound of anyone being around him. And when combined to the conversation I'd had with her...

"I don't think they really talked about anything, Primera-sama. But I do know that he punished her."

"For what?" I tensed, wondering if this was her intro for attacking me.

"Vermalda had been unruly, not wanting to comply with this new system he imposed. She rather liked the old way, when hollows clawed their way to the top, destroying anything in their way."

"What'd he do to her?" Suddenly, I had a terrible feeling. I searched for her spiritual pressure, a thin whisper in a room full of shouting people, but had the distinct feeling that I wouldn't find it.

"You know what they did to her," she whispered, voice catching. "They did it because she spoke to you, told you how things were."

"But she didn't tell me anything," I started, thinking of the incoherent attempts she'd tried. Had Vermalda really spoken to me, when she knew the consequence was death? That at least explained her hedging around what she really wanted to say.

"She did. Vermalda told you, just put it together."

"Won't you be punished for telling me this?"

"What am I telling you, Primera-sama? Just that Vermalda gave you everything you need. I haven't given away information."

"Why? Why did Vermalda tell me anything?"

"Because she wanted change." She reached out, taking hold of my arm, and finally her name popped into my head. Eleri. "Make the change for us, Primera-sama. Make what she did worth it."

The intensity on her face was strange after seeing her look so blank and careful all the time, schooling her face into a passive stare. I nodded, stumbling back a step, and then she was pulling away, dropping her eyes.

"Thank you, Primera-sama," Eleri whispered, and I nodded again, a little too confused to find the right words. "Have a good walk in town."

I continued to walk the way I was headed, ridiculously paranoid that someone was listening in on us. I was also trying to figure out how on earth she knew I was headed into the city. Had Vermalda told her before she had been killed by Helyan? And what was so important about what she'd told me that he'd had to get rid of her for it?

Snarling I lashed out at a wall, making giant cracks spread themselves across the white stone. Why did I even care about all of this? It would be so much easier to just cast off my title as Primera, to wander out in the desert and never come back. People complicated things. When they were around, I felt more savage, which I could vaguely tell was a bad thing. But maybe, if I did leave, I'd just stop caring if I turned into a complete monster. Maybe...maybe I'd just let Hichigo take over, and not care, let him have his way of things.

Guilt and disgust almost choked me, and I started running, feeling that I'd throw up if I didn't run away from those horrible, highly possible thoughts. Finally, I reached a window that was suitable for jumping out of. I leaped down, making sand billow up around me, and started walking, trying not to pant. I heard the soft shift of sand underfoot, and felt someone behind me.

"Are you sure about this Kurosaki?" I stiffened for a moment, even though I knew who it was, a little too rattled to act normally.

"Yeah. What, are you scared, Toshiro?" I smirked at his sound of annoyance, and almost _saw_ him scowling. Thankfully tough, he chose not to comment on the fact that, even though my tone was light, I was tense and my hands were clenched.

"Of course not. I'm just wondering if you thought at all about what might happen if we go into the city. You said this Urdur woman gave you the idea?"

"Mm-hm. You don't trust her." Turning back to look at him, I watched him carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Being a hollow had given him the annoying habit of never saying what he was thinking or what his suspicions were unless absolutely necessary. Toshiro narrowed his eyes, lip curling.

"Don't you think it a bit odd? After attacking Arisawa, she just decides to give you this lead? And at what cost? There is no reason for us to go into the city on the word of a woman who's Helyan's slave."

"You didn't see her eyes," I said, something thick and dangerous clawing at my throat. "Vermalda was in _pain_ from what she told me, which really ain't that much, and then...I dunno. It might have been fear, and it might have been defiance, but I couldn't get that feeling out of my head for a while afterwards."

"Kurosaki, did you ever think that she was _lying_ to you? We could be walking into a trap because you were too stupid and naive to think that for just once-"

"Look, she's dead because of this!" I yelled at Toshiro, rounding on him and locking my arms at my sides so I didn't to something hasty, like blacken his eyes. Toshiro fell back a step, hand jerking back to his hilt. "Helyan _killed_ her because she decided to help us! She hated it here, but something around here, something he's doing, has got everyone too terrified to stop it."

"How do you know she's dead?" he asked, voice soft. He was looking at me with...something, too determined for fear, too cold for concern, but something...almost wary.

"Eleri told me. That arrancar that's always with her." Immediately Hitsugaiya's face changed with scorn.

"Did you see the body?"

"No," I said, feeling myself deflate with the point he was getting at, yet fill with rage at the same time. "But it was pretty clear, I mean, what else could he-"

"So...you're telling me that not only have you not seen the body, but you _also_ are..._assuming that she's dead?_"

"Well-"

"Did this Eleri person tell you she was dead, did she say, word for word 'Vermalda is dead'?"

"No, alright! She didn't say that! But can you feel her anywhere?"

"We're not the only ones here that can cloak our spiritual pressure, Kurosaki."

"Don't act like I'm some soft hearted idiot!" I yelled at him, slamming a fist into the wall beside us, felt myself twinge as I landed on the bruise I'd made earlier. "I'm not doing this because I felt attached and want to honor her memory or something! I'm doing this because I think that Helyan is a lying sneak and that whatever he's doing has a tie to the city! Have you ever really _been_ in there? More than just walking through? And how often have you even done that?"

"I'm just telling you to watch your back! I don't like babysitting people like-"

"Like _what,_ Hitsugaiya?"

"Kurosaki-kun!"

"_What?"_

I whirled around, ready to break the limbs of who ever had interrupted us, when I came practically face to face with Inoue. She looked worried, but determined, mouth set as she stared me down. A hint of that dark, scary creature she had hiding inside her flickered in her eyes, and in the moment that I regretted making Inoue into that, most of my anger vanished.

"What are you yelling about?" Her voice was level, and I snarled at her. Even though I wasn't as angry as before, I was still pretty pissed.

"Hitsugaiya thinks I'm a weak fool," I said bluntly, and felt Toshiro shift behind me.

"We were discussing the wisdom in entering the city on a lead from a person like Vermalda." Inoue's mismatched eyes were still locked on mine, and I felt the urge to look away, shift out of her line of sight.

"What's wrong with Vermalda?"

"Toshiro thinks that we shouldn't go in on the word of one of Helyan's crones, because it might be a trap." Hereyes slid past me, onto Hitsugaiya.

"I think we'll be fine. Vermalda's dead."

"What?" Even Toshiro looked surprised by this one.

"I was nearby when they killed her. It's different from cloaking your spiritual pressure. It's a candle being blown out. And I heard arrancar discussing it on my way here."

"Are you sure that they weren't-"

"Hitsugaiya-kun, I don't think they'd be able to set up a plan that everyone except us knew about. Ask the other espada. They think it's okay." Hitsugaiya gave an annoyed sound and stormed around me, heading back the way she came.

"Any...anyone else here?" I asked, and Inoue's old sunshine slipped back through.

"Nope! Just me. Everyone else is off by the city wall."

I nodded, kept from commenting on her sudden change, and walked after Hitsugaiya, wondering if she knew how close to blows we were.

When we reached the others, they all gave us a look.

"You alright there, Ichigo? We felt your and Hitsugaiya's spiritual pressure jump." Ishida's eyes narrowed as he said this, the weight behind his question masked by his casual tone.

"Yeah," I grunted, waving my hand, looking up at the top of the wall. "We just had a disagreement." I felt Hitsugaiya's eyes on me, but focused on how high the wall was instead.

"So, who's in for leaping over the wall?" I asked, and instantly I felt a hand on my shoulder as Tatsuki and Renji stepped in front of me, Renji cracking his knuckles.

"Way ahead of ya," Tatsuki smirked, and jumped.

Once I managed to get the sand out of my eyes, I looked up to see them standing on the top, Renji stepping off to the other side. I grinned, then jumped up beside them, taking a moment to enjoy the sensation of flying before I landed. Hiyori leaped up beside me, and I surveyed the city, full of varying buildings, from squat and wide to thin and tall, with a clock tower at the center, which was weird, because I'd never heard it go off. The weirdest bit was that the city was bustling and full of energy. I blinked, a little surprised. Whenever I'd been there, it'd been either completely empty or full of people hiding from us.

I dropped down by Tatsuki and Renji, and we waited until everyone was down on the other side of the wall.

"So...what do we do now?" Shinji asked, and we all paused, thinking.

"Well, I think that we should get something to cover ourselves up. It'd be a waste, sneaking out just to get spotted by someone," Ishida pointed out, and we all nodded. Hitsugaiya was chosen to go get some cloaks for us, while everyone else skulked in the closest alley, trying to catch glimpses of the hollows living just outside of the palace.

It suddenly seemed ridiculous to me that I'd lived here for so long, but I hadn't even been in the city more than once or twice.

Hitsugaiya came back a moment later, and started handing out cloaks to everyone. We pulled them on, excitement coursing through our finger tips.

"Ready?" Rukia asked me, and I grinned, watching two arrancar slip past, one a more human looking while the other was more misshapen. I tugged on my hood, and entered the main street.

"Hey, let's split up," Shinji suggested, and we quickly broke into groups of two and three. I ended up with Rukia, and we headed down a side street that seemed the most promising.

I couldn't stop grinning, and I guess it was infectious, because pretty soon Rukia was beaming like she'd just been given her old life back. She kept elbowing me, over the hollows wandering the streets, acting like they'd coexisted peacefully for forever, over the merchandise sitting in the stalls lining the streets, and probably over the fact that our faces were about to fall off from the extreme abuse we were putting them through.

Once or twice we saw some of the other espada, Chad looking at a beautifully made scarf, Hiyori arguing with someone in the street, and for a little while, we were free.

It seemed that Cuidad Muerta didn't have any form of currency, and focused mainly on trade, which was a problem because we really didn't have anything other than our cloaks, clothes and zanpakuto. Rukia did most of the stealing, having me cause the main distraction. We laughed over it the first few times, looking at the food she'd nabbed, but then when we were sitting on the steps of some abandoned building, the smile suddenly turned sad and painful. She was staring at some red fruit that reminded me of an apple, buffing it with her thumb.

"You know...Renji and I used to steal stuff from the vendors all the time," she whispered, so that I could hardly hear her over the noise of the streets.

"What?"

"He and I...we grew up together, us and some...other kids. It was pretty tough in our district, so we had to steal what we needed." She laughed, bitter and a little angry sounding, like she was forcing it out.

"I was so convinced that when I became a shinigami...when _we_ became shinigami...our lives would be better." Rukia pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "I thought...never again. Never would I have to fight so hard just to _survive._ And look where we are, Ichigo. The worst place in all of the worlds."

She dropped the fruit, and I watched it roll away, and was about to say something when the clock tower started ringing out.

Instantly, all the hollows around us froze, heads snapping up to the clock, and then, curiously enough, to the palace. Rukia and I stiffened, sensing something was shifting in the air.

It happened in a second. One moment, the tall bird aduchas beside me was staring at the front gates, and the next something had dropped from the sky, ripping off its wing. I felt the blood splash my side, saw the blur and heard the _snick!_ of teeth snapping together. I slowly turned my head, completely calm in the face of this, and saw a wild looking aduchas, leering at me with a blood smeared face.

In the next second, everyone started screaming and running, desperate to get away from the monster before them. Rukia and I were on our feet, reaching for our swords as we watched the aduchas tear into another hollow, leaving the previous one to stagger away, trying to staunch the bleeding. But there were more hollows streaming into the city, from the gates, from the skies, from the roofs of the mismatched buildings.

The sickening part was that I recognized some of them. Some of the hollows were from our trainingsessions, others from the kitchens, some I'd seen around the halls. Rukia grabbed my arm, hissing my name, and I nodded, showing I knew what she meant. We were statues as arrancar streamed around us, crying and wailing and trying to find shelter in buildings around us. They had dissolved into animals, thoughtless and desperate to survive.

One hollow tried to attack me and Rukia, a hyena type thing, springing at us, giant claws outstretched. Rukia snapped out a bala, making it yelp but still try to rip our throats out. I whipped Semidios off my back, and had sunk it into the creature's chest before it could take another breath.

We looked at each other, wondering what on earth was happening. Once that clock had gone off, the entire place exploded in a shower of blood and screams. It was like they expected it to happen, but that made no sense. We'd been here the entire time, and had had no idea that this was going on.

"_We have to get out of here!"_ Rukia shouted into my ear, and even then I could hardly hear her.

"_But how are we going to find the others?"_

_"Luck!"_

I grinned, and felt a little too monsterish for my good. This was my kind of game.

We tried heading through the crowds, but with hollows eating each other and lashing out at every single freakin' thing in sight, we could hardly get ten feet.

"_This isn't working!_"

"_You think I don't know that_?" Rukia screamed, about ready to cero everyone in sight. I was feeling the same, but I kept remembering Hichigo was holding on inside me, waiting for me to let go. But at least that helped retain some of my sanity.

We ducked under a flailing arrancar, and I was about to try running on the rooftops when Rukia grabbed my arm. I whipped around, thinking it was some monster and was reaching for Semidios when she yanked me to the ground.

"The only way we get through this is if we command attention."

"How do we do that?" I hissed. "This is chaos!"

"We look like we want to eat everyone."

"And how do we do that," I started, trying to ignore the chill down my spine. Her answer was to bit into a carcass inches away from her. I yelled out, jerking back, but she grabbed me again.

"Do it, Ichigo!"

"No, that's-"

"_You wanna live?_" For a moment, we were stuck, me, horrified and unable to tear my eyes away from the blood that dripped down her neck, and her, glaring at me and looking like she'd lost the remains of her humanity. After a beat, I lowered my head and smeared my face with blood. Her face was grim when I looked back up, and I spat out a mouthful, trying to focus on how sickening it was, and not how delicious.

I hadn't really thought what it'd be like to eat a hollow when I was an arrancar and in my right mind. Sure, I'd thought that it wouldn't be a problem, and that, if anything, I'd do it from irritation and not think twice. It hadn't exactly been difficult when I was just a normal hollow. But now that I was here, breathing in the scent and soaking my hands in blood, the vast majority of me wanted to puke. The rest, the monster part...

It wanted to sink my teeth in, and then look for somebody else.

Rukia had grit her teeth, looked nauseous too, so I grabbed her hand, but slipped a little on the blood.

"Come on!" I screamed at her, jerking her along. "We have to find everyone else!"

Rukia's theory proved to be correct. Once hollows saw our dripping mouths and the gleam in our eyes that they probably thought was frenzied, but was actually terrified, they stopped trying to eat us. The inhabitants of the city skittered away from us, thinking that we'd rip their limbs off, springing into houses and under stalls, praying that no one would find them.

Finally, we crashed into Chad, Hitsugaiya and Ishida, who seemed to have literally fought their way through the crowds. They dragged us into an empty alley, wary of more attackers.

"Ichigo!" exclaimed Chad, once he'd seen my face. "What have you-did you-"

"No, it's not like that," I panted, trying to wipe the blood off my face with the cloak, with little success, considering it was soaked. "Rukia, she-she had this idea." I pointed vaguely at her, who was bent over, almost heaving.

"She-she said it would be better if-if we pretended-"

"To be one of the predators," Toshiro finished, and I nodded weakly. I leaned against a wall, then jerked away when I felt it shuddering from the mayhem inside. I guessed one of the screams in the air was from a person inside.

"Have you...seen anyone else?" Rukia gasped, straightening a little.

"No. You two are the first. But I remember seeing Renji, Hiyori and Shinji heading down there," Ishida said, pointing away from the palace. "There was a stall they wanted to see."

"Do...do you think they're alright?"

"Yeah," Chad grunted, eyes on the street. "They're all tough." I nodded, and we headed back out, weaving through the crowds. It was easier, now that we were headed with the flow of things, but I was always checking to make sure nothing sprang up from behind us. We caught sight of Renji's group, who were clustered behind a barricade of stalls and carts. They yelled for us, but a giant rhino looking hollow crashed through the streets, forcing us into the mouth of a side street.

"Are you alright?" Renji demanded, dodging under a pair of fighting arrancar to get to us.

"We're fine," Rukia said, checking him over for any injuries. He was a little roughed up, a few scratches, maybe a serious bruise to his leg, the way he was limping, but other than that, fine.

"But your face," he started, but was cut off by Hiyori and Shinji joining us.

"What's going on?" Hiyori demanded, looking tense.

"We don't know! That clock just went off, and then everyone was eating each other!" Ishida yelled back, but Chad put a hand on his shoulder.

"Where are Arisawa and Inoue?" he asked, voice barely audible.

"Haven't seen 'em yet," Shinji said, glancing around. "We were about to look for them."

As a group, we again threw ourselves back into the streets, searching for their spiritual pressure in this maelstrom. The fighting seemed to be moving away from the palace, stretching out through the rest of the city, which made searching a little easier.

Rukia called out that she saw them, and I jerked around to see Tatsuki running for us, horror in her eyes. She'd never seen a real battle before, and this carnage was something she could never have been prepared for.

"Are you alright?" Shinji asked, grabbing her shoulders to steady her. Tatsuki shook, jabbered something about teeth, then shook her head. I grimaced, hating to see how this had unhinged her.

"Where's Inoue-chan?" Shinji said, voice clear and calm. Tatsuki looked over her shoulder, pointed vaguely.

"We-we barely managed to keep each other in-in sight. She was just-just behind me." I searched the area from where Tatsuki had run over from, and saw Inoue, blood stained and serious, springing over a feasting arrancar. Once she saw us, her eyes brightened and relief washed over her face.

"Kuchiki-chan, Kurosaki-kun!" she called out, excitement on her face at finally having found us. I grinned, relieved that she wasn't terrified by our wild appearances, then saw a shadow drop over her. I started stepping forward, reaching out for her as puzzlement changed her features, time stretching as we struggled to grab each other. Inoue was snatched up by a giant bird arrancar, lifted into the air as the thing wrapped its talons around her.

_"Kurosaki-kun!"_

_**AN Ah, this chapter! I've been waiting for it for a while now (well, really just the parts in the city. The rest of it just kind...happened.) I'm all shaky from what's happened! **_

_**And I feel terrible about Orihime! Yet at the same time, so excited and asdfjkl; the plot advancesssssss. We've been needing some serious plot advancement around here.  
**_


	21. The Simplest of Reasonings

_**AN THIS CHAPTER. I spent so long trying to plan it all out, and I'm**_** still_ not completely convinced that it's all fine. But I think that about most of the chapters, and y'all inform me that it's good so what I can say?_  
**

"_Inoue!"_

I launched into the street, glaring pointlessly at where she'd vanished. Tatsuki had my arm clenched in her hands, screaming for Inoue as well. I whirled around, ripping out of Tatsuki's grip and stared at the others. They'd displayed their discomposure in various ways, even Hiyori and Hitsugaiya, who acted like they really didn't care about anyone else.

_"_What do you think they're doing to her?" I snapped, fists clenched. To think, Inoue was getting kidnapped for the _second time,_ and I was totally unable to do anything, and I was _feet away._

"I...don't know," Rukia started, shock slowing her down. She stumbled into the street, trying to process it all. "I don't think they're going to eat her-"

_"Don't!_" Tatsuki hissed, not turning around. "Don't you _dare_ talk about those freaks eating her!"

We paused, and then Renji tried explaining.

"I don't think that she'll...be hurt too bad. She _is_ the decima espada, after all."

"Abarai, I wouldn't put too much stock in that," Toshiro said grimly. "She may be the tenth strongest in Hueco Mundo, but by how much? And I wouldn't measure her by our standards. We know that's she's not-"

"Not capable of going as far as you?" Tatsuki asked, turning around. "You don't understand her at _all._ She told me about why everyone was against her fighting in the Winter War, about how she didn't have the killing intent or the determination to chose your life over someone else's. You can decorate it any way you want, tell me they were lies, that they were excuses, but she knows how you see her! Orihime's not an idiot."

Rukia looked at the ground, looking almost ashamed.

"She's right. We underestimated her, and now-"

"And now she's turned into a cold blooded killer," I said flatly. "Haven't you noticed, the moments when she turns hard and distant? Inoue's not the same girl we knew. Something snapped inside her, and I have a feeling that when we rescue her, there's going to be a whole lot of corpses laying around."

There was a tense moment of silence between us as we glared at each other and listened to the screams of hollows being torn apart in the distance. Tatsuki made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat and turned her back on the others, heading down the street. Wordlessly I followed her, waiting to see if the others would do the same.

"Where are you going?" Toshiro called after us, and I spared him exactly one second to say "To get Inoue," then kept walking. After a moment, more people started following, Chad, Ishida, Rukia and Renji I guessed, and then another pause for the others to fall in.

"Do you have a game plan?" Rukia asked, catching up to me.

"Nope." I didn't look at her, preferring to looked intently at Tatsuki's back. I knew that she wasn't about to waver when this chaos sprang up around us.

"You think Tatsuki does?"

"Nope."

"So you're telling me that we're just going to..._barge in there_, and demand for Inoue back?" Ishida sounded as amazed at my lack of thought as ever.

"Mmmmm...yeah, that's about right." We reached the steps, and I watched Tatsuki take them three at a time.

"After all, who actually _needs_ a battle plan?" Shinji asked from behind me, and I cracked a smile.

"Definitely not us," Renji answered, and we shared one moment of grim laughter before we reached the top of the steps, joining Tatsuki.

"You worried?" I asked lightly, hands on hips.

"Yes," she said, voice soft. "I've never been in a battle like you guys before. I'm not sure I can...really kill these guys." I didn't bother telling her that she wouldn't have to. We were so far from those sweet, innocent days when killing was a strange, abstract thought, that it'd be cruel mockery to say otherwise. While she'd never been in that savage state of mind that we had been in while roaming Hueco Mundo, there was no doubt in my head that Tatsuki would have someone's blood on her hands by the time this was over.

"You can," I said, trying to find the right words to say. Much as I hated it, the only ones that really seemed to fit were along the lines of what Hichigo had shouted while trying to kill me.

"Just...trust your instinct. Don't...realize what you're doing and back off, 'cause then you'll end up with your head or something on the ground. Don't give yourself time to think, just...act."

Tatsuki bit her lips, then nodded. Her fists were shaking, but the look in her eyes was steady, ready to do what she had to to make sure her friends stayed safe. For a moment, I allowed myself some envy. Having that clean, unselfish desire to protect wasn't really something I'd thought about lately.

We headed inside the palace, searching for Inoue's reiatsu. The throne room was dark, but I caught sight of Ishida raising his hand towards a door to the right. A mass of spiritual pressure seemed to be caught behind the door, and I managed to catch snatches of what felt like Helyan, Jacintha and a few other vaguely familiar spiritual pressures.

We adjusted our routes to where Ishida was pointing, all convinced that where ever Helyan was, answers would surely be hanging around. Tatsuki entered the room first, hand clenching around her zanpakuto hilt.

With the slight feeling of walking into a trap, I followed her, resisting the urge to charge a cero.

The first thing I saw was Inoue, seemingly trapped inside a golden bubble. I probably would have laughed if I didn't see Helyan, facing Inoue but then turning to face us when we entered the room. He smiled, and it was a little unnerving to see how similar his face and his mask suddenly looked.

"What's the meaning of this, Sindervanch?" Rukia demanded, voice harsh as she glared at him. Distantly I realized that even though we had left the front door wide open, I couldn't hear the rampaging out in the city. Had the slaughter stopped?

"Hm. I wonder how I should start," he said, voice full of false consideration. "I knew you'd get here in the end, but it turned out that I just couldn't waste the time that it'd take for you to reach here all by yourselves."

I grit my teeth, disgusted by how unabashed he was at being confronted by us. Here he was, practically drowning in incriminating evidence, and he was treating it like we had been a little late to a picnic.

"What have you done to Inoue?" demanded Chad, and Helyan shrugged.

"All in good time, Yatsutora-kun. But, I wouldn't suggest trying to attack me just yet," Helyan said, raising a hand as I and about half the others grabbed for their swords. "See, Inoue-chan is in a rather dangerous situation. That sphere she's in can shrink down to nothing. If she touches it she'll be burned to ashes."

"Why'd you kidnap her?" Tatsuki spat, fists clenched. "What good can she do you?"

"It's not that she has some special role. It's just that she's the weakest. If I tried to get any of you, my dear little vassal would have been killed in an instant, wouldn't it? No, this was more a lure for you nine."

"For what?"

"What do you think, Arisawa-chan?" he laughed, shaking his head. "Weren't you just outside? I brought you here to slaughter. See, this city, Cuidad Muerta...it's not the safe haven everyone thinks it is. Hollows are brought here to grow stronger and become arrancar, while a select few are allowed the honor of feasting."

"Let me guess, those 'select few' are your lap dogs," Shinji spat. "Everyone in the palace, all of those who absolutely _revere_ you, they were the ones that you picked because they were the strongest or had the most potential or whatever. You were really just screening through to find the best and then the others you just...turned into _fodder?_" The disgust in his voice was thick enough to choke him, but Helyan still had that easy smile on his face.

"Now now, don't sound so disgusted. It's completely natural."

"_Natural?_" Hiyori shouted, starting towards Helyan. Shinji grabbed hold of her jacket, warning her not to attack him "Natural that you'd just eat those who _trusted_ you? They put their faith in you, expected you to save them from the horrors outside of the walls, when really, it was you they should have been running from this entire time!"

"How's it any different from raising a herd of cattle?" Helyan asked. "They depend on you for food and shelter, and in the end you end up slitting their throats. What are they, other than a ready made source of food? At first, it was just normal hollows." A sick light shone in Helyan's eyes and he raised his hands as if sifting through imaginary gold. The way he spoke about eating others was revolting. There was nothing inside me, either humane or savage, that could stand the thought of just _harvesting hollows_ because I could.

"We all know what it's like to eat another hollow's flesh. The thrill of the hunt, the excitement as you feel their energy coursing through your fingers, it's enough to drive a person mad! But then, then I started wondering what would happen if we went a little further."

"No," Rukia gasped, and I glanced at her, wondering what she had guessed. When I looked back at Helyan, my eyes fell on Inoue. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, as though she were thinking hard about something. Pursing my lips, I tore my eyes away from her imprisoning golden sphere, glaring instead at Helyan.

"Yes, Kuchiki-chan. What would happen if we started eating other arrancar?" He laughed, entire body shaking at the thought, and for the first time, I really wondered if he was sane. "It was marvelous! There are very few rules to the hollow world, and this, this was one that I would gladly break even if it cost me what little remains of my soul I have left! You thought that the artificial hollows created by the Hogyoku were powerful? That's _nothing. _By allowing my hand picked arrancar to eat the lesser ones in the city, I created a super breed, capable of so much _more._ Aizen, for all the time that he spent learning and searching for all the dark secrets he could, never even bothered to look at this one, the fool! If he had, then maybe he wouldn't have had such a shameful end."

"Why?" I asked, hardly able to speak. "Why would you _do_ this? What can be your purpose?"

"Purpose? Kurosaki-kun, you disappoint me, I thought you were smarter than this. It's all for power, like it always is. Power to disrupt this entire world, and all the others besides. With this, with the army I've assembled, I can completely _crush_ the shinigami and ravage what's left."

"There's no way," Renji said, shaking his head. "The shinigami haven't just been sitting around this entire time! They've been preparing, don't kid yourself vacancies left by the war have been filled, they'll beat you again. And don't think for a minute that we're just going to stand by and let this happen!"

"The vacancies have been filled?" Helyan asked, giving us a mocking look of shock before he broke into laughter again. "You mean the new captains, Masafumi and Obake, third seats Hibari and Yuudai? Or maybe some of the new vice captains, those are worrisome for me too, aren't they? Why not go ahead and top off this monstrous thing by telling me that Central has been stabilized?"

"How did you know?" Hitsugaiya demanded, eyes narrowed. "We didn't tell anyone about that!"

"You didn't have to. Didn't you think it strange? Didn't you think _any_ of it was strange? Go back to the beginning, all of you, did _nothing_ truly seem amiss?" We were silent for a moment, then Ishida swore.

"You...you can't be saying that even _then_, all the way to Central, it was-"

"Yes, Ishida-kun, it was me! I orchestrated this whole thing, from you deaths to where you're standing right now. The entire time, you have been my chess pieces, moved and taken at will."

"That's impossible! There's no _way_ you could have infiltrated that far! No shinigami could be so corrupt, so _twisted_ to allow hollows to take control, only to destroy them later!"

"Of course there isn't. That's why I didn't _use_ shinigami. I used hollows." Helyan gestured and one of the hollows standing on the edge of the room walked forward. They stepped forward, and after a moment, I realized that it was actually Eris Pan Asaea.

"Go on, Eris. Show them what you can do."

Eris drew her sword, holding it before her face as she said "Confuse, Enmascarado Fantasma." Before we could do anything, a burst of steam shot from around her, blinding us. It cleared almost instantly, showing us Helyan and one of the wrinkled members of Central 46.

"No," Histugaiya breathed, falling back a step.

"You," I hissed, glaring at her. She had been one of our main prosecutors back when we had been charged before Central so many months ago. She raised her head, and I was convinced that she still had her cold black eyes. "You...all that time? You were always an _arrancar?_"

"Yes, Primera-sama," she murmured, a small, irritating smile stretching her suddenly wrinkled face. "My Enmascarado Fantasma has the ability to change the form of anyone I touch into an existing person. In this case, a member of Central 46."

I thought back to all of the interactions we'd had, her sentencing us back in the Soul Society, the battle in training that had almost gotten out of hand, the brief handful of times we'd met in the halls or where ever. The entire time, she'd had that same condescending look, like she just couldn't _believe_ a life form like me could be anything important. It kind of made sense, considering that she had seen me when I was as low as I could get, and most arrancar had a superiority complex to begin with. I also understood now how she had known that I was the Primera when she hadn't even seen the number on my neck. She'd been in cahoots with Helyan right from the beginning, so of course she'd know that he'd made me Primera.

I snarled at her, hand settling on my hilt. She smirked at me, as if daring me to try something.

"But...people must have guessed! An arrancar couldn't just get away with pretending to be an elder of the Soul Society!"

"People did guess," Helyan said. "A nameless shinigami, a couple of the Central members themselves, but who cares? It's so incredibly easy to remove or replace them."

"Then you mean...there are people like _that_ throughout the Gotei?" Renji looked like he might be sick at the thought of the shinigami being so corrupted.

"Correct. We have hollows who have been acting as shinigami for years now, ensuring a firm seat in the Gotei. Essentially, the whole place is mine."

"Not for long. I swear, I'll have your head before I walk out of here," I snarled, hand locked around Semidios' hilt. The familiar feeling of Hichigo clamoring for a battle started to rise up inside me, and it was really a struggle not giving in. The impulse was muted, present only when I touched my zanpakuto, but it was definitely there.

"And how do you think you'll do that, Kurosaki-kun? There's only nine of you, while I have an entire _army_ behind me."

"I don't think everyone here is as faithful to you as you think. Look at Vermalda. She down right _hated_ you. She hated me too, but not enough to keep from telling me a few key pointers."

"Vermalda Urdur," Helyan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't you think I expected that? I'm not interested in having loyalty from my subordinates. I only care about the power, and I'm willing to get that any way I can. The best bit is that they feel the same way. At the end of the day, my dear espada, power is the only thing people care about."

"I don't think they've deluded themselves to think they can take on the _espada. _That's just suicide," I countered, frustrated that I could only battle Helyan with my words. I couldn't actually try to hurt him, for fear of hurting Inoue. Again I looked at her, and was shocked to find her watching us, waiting for one of us to pay attention to her. She locked eyes with me, nodding and holding out her hands in a way that was reminiscent of her Shun Shun Rikka. I frowned, not sure as to what she was going to do, but she just gave a grim smile and winked at me.

Apparently, Helyan wasn't the only one who had cracked under all this strain.

"Espada? Oh, that reminds me. I have another string tied to this vast web. You...none of you are the espada."

"_What?"_

We all murmured, glancing at the large numbers that said just the opposite.

"Don't you remember what I told you, Kurosaki-sama?" murmured Jacintha, whom I'd managed to forget in all of the commotion. She had quietly faded to the background, seeming to shrink from Helyan's side, retreating as much as she possibly could while still staying within a proper distance.

"When we first met in the ruins of Las Noches, and you asked if Helyan-sama was an espada? I said no, that there were no espada, because-"

"-because there was no one that was the strongest. Only people who were the same strength," I finished darkly, remembering some of the first words she'd spoken to me.

"Yes. Well, I lied, Kurosaki-sama. There really weren't two arrancar who were the same level within the ten. That was just something Helyan-sama devised in case you ever asked. In reality..."

"In reality, the espada look something more like this," Helyan finished, waving his hand. Instinctively I glanced over at Rukia, more specifically, the black eight on her arm. As though it were been blown away by the wind, it seemed to dissolve into nothing, disappearing from her skin. There were gasps behind me as everyone realized what was going on, but my eyes had turned to the arrancar around the room. Sure enough, the numbers that were vanishing from us were appearing on Jacintha, Helyan, Eleri, Eris, basically, the arrancar that we all knew to be his closest followers. Of course, Helyan himself had a one imprinted on his neck. I closed my eyes, wondering if this could get any worse.

"How," Tatsuki said softly, looking weak. She may not have been through everything we had, but she had seen enough to know just how terrible this all was. "How did you manage to do all of this, to execute it all so perfectly?"

"It was mostly from observation, Arisawa-chan. I learned what people would do, and then decided what should happen because of it. In the case of you being the espada, it was rather easy. I really only wanted a few of you out of the way, but you all complicated matters, for various reasons. In the end though, I only had nine no matter what I did. That left me with loose ends. When you came to Hueco Mundo, at the suggestion of your kind minded captains, what would you do? Where would you go? If I could get you into Cuidad Muerta, then I would have you under my eye, but what was the incentive to stay? If I could give you a job, a title, a reason to remain...then everything would play out perfectly."

"So you made us espada. But why not just make us espada when we first came and add one of your own people?" Shinji asked, voice tight.

"You'd never trust anyone you didn't know, especially if they were a hollow you thought was loyal to me. In order to divert suspicion, I allowed you to chose your own member. Invariably, you would go to Karakura. Each one of you has strong ties there, and I knew that with the ravenous desire of your souls at least _one_ person would die because of your visit. So I set it all out. I knew you'd come for the tools required, and had Ambala prepare the cloaks for you."

"The ones that shielded us and changed our appearance?" Ishida asked, and he nodded.

"But they had a little more in them than that. If and when you met with someone close to you, those cloaks would release a very special type of hollow, a parasite too small to be seen. In turn, they would latch onto the person you had just killed and would then turn them immediately into an arrancar."

At his words, I saw Inoue gasp and felt Tatsuki as they realized just what he'd done. But I wasn't thinking about them. My thoughts were only on the people I had visited; my family, Yuzu and Karin. I had been so perilously close to killing them. When we had been sitting down at the table together, I had it all mapped out so clearly in my head how I would kill them all. If I had really done what my instinct had screamed at me to do, if I hadn't somehow retained my humanity, then it would have been one of them, Yuzu or Karin or Dad, standing where Tatsuki was.

"Why wait for us?" Ishida demanded. "If you had the power to create and arrancar out of _anyone_, why didn't you pick someone else, someone who was a threat to you and get them out of the way?"

"It's not exactly a refined science, you understand, Ishida-kun. Consider it a test run. We'd attempted a few tests on shinigami and on hollows, to see if we could _make_ them into arrancar, but things ended rather poorly for them. It seems that for the parasite to work, it requires a living body, and even then things have been a little too unpredictable to employ frequently. Of course, I admittedly _did_ have a few other people lined up, a couple humans, a captain or two from the Soul Society that I would have had brought in just like Hitsugaiya-kun. But things happened and I decided it was just safer to stick to you nine and drag in someone inconsequential later."

"...How? How could you have possibly _made_ us the espada, how...how for any of it?" Rukia asked weakly, shaking her head.

"Simple. My zanpakuto creates bonds. And when all of these..._wonderful friends _came to me I simply bound their power. When you came along, I had enough time to 'bind my power' to you, allowing you ten to be the espada. I also designated all of your roles, did you guess that? I evaluated what I knew of you all, and let you be the number I thought likely. That lie about how the espada were canceled out, it was perfectly believable to all those who heard it, once they saw Gil and Gonzalo. Practically two parts of one whole, they are."

"How do we know that you aren't binding our powers now?" Renji demanded. "You've had plenty of time to let your zanpakuto work. What's to say you're not just holding us back, making us think they're better?"

"Nothing, I guess, Abarai-kun. Go ahead, run me through, go and find out. Cut off my head, end it all, yes, that's what's running through your head, isn't it? But oh, I forgot," he said, looking sympathetic. "Your little friend Inoue-chan, I could quite possibly destroy her before you ever got the chance. Tut tut, what a conundrum. Which is more important, killing me and then saving the Soul Society, or doing as I wish and saving your friend? Do you really care about those traitors enough to come to their rescue?"

"You just admitted that _you_ caused all of this," Hitsugaiya growled.

"Well, yes, I did. But it wasn't just my people who agreed to lock you up, turn you into test rats."

I hissed, recalling the nightmarish tortures Squad 12 had cheerfully put us through. To think he'd _dare_ mention that, despite all of the atrocities he'd already committed, it was beyond all reason. Not that that had much hold here.

Helyan smirked at us, folding his arms.

"What's this? Too scared to actually try and see which is faster? My hand," he pulled his hand up, and closed his fingers just slightly, the beginning stages of him making a fist. "or your sword?"

Behind him, I saw the sphere Inoue was in shrink a few inches, making her yelp, Inoue pulled in on herself, head bent. The look in her eyes wasn't scared though, not even hurt at the news that he had orchestrated everything. No, the look in Inoue's eyes was sheer blood lust. The monster in Inoue had come back, and it was looking for Helyan's blood.

"Just...just hold on a sec," Tatsuki said, voice shaky. "You're telling me, that it was you, this _entire time,_ it was _you?"_

"Yes, Arisawa-chan, I do believe that's what I've been saying this entire time." Helyan laughed, not hearing the rage in her voice.

"So _you're_ responsible for all of my friends being dead, _and_ you've caused my _best friend_ to be tormented by thinking that _she_ was the reason I was here?" Tatsuki was shaking, her hand clawed as if she were torn between grabbing her sword and shooting a bala at him.

"But she is. The cloaks didn't _make_ her kill you, she simply couldn't control herself because she was weak. Why _else_ do you think I made her decima? Any one of you who saw her would never think otherwise! Consider what she did in the War. Taken captive, stood by when all of her friends were cut down before her eyes, wept but did not fight. There could only be a few reasons why she refused to raise her hand against your enemies; she was either too weak to do so, she was too lazy to bother or-"

"_Don't you dare say another thing against her!_" Tatsuki spat, jerking forward. I narrowed my eyes, readying myself to grab her in case she tried to lunge at him.

"You know, _Arisawa-chan_, you're starting to _irritate me._ The entire time I've watched you, you've never really been impressive to me, lagging behind, an afterthought, a sad little puppy that's too pathetic to be left behind. There's no possibility for you developing any further, and had I known that Vermalda had tried to tear your mask off, I most certainly would have let her. But, seeing as she's not here anymore," he said, giving a small laugh like he thought her murder was just a little joke, "I guess I'll just have to do the job myself."

Helyan raised his hand, cero charging at his fingertips, and I thought he might have given a polite 'Good-bye', but there was a muffled shout and the golden sphere Inoue was in shattered. We all stared as she dropped to the ground, eyes feral as she dropped her hands. Suddenly, her vague gesture made sense to me. Inoue had been planning to reject the force field, or at least, do whatever her current equivalent was.

He whipped around, glaring at her, and I noticed all of the hostile arrancar around the room shifting, unsure what to do without his orders.

"I will _not_ let you hurt her," Inoue said, ice in her voice.

"Oh really? What are you going to do to me, then?" The formality and friendliness had dropped from his voice, leaving only contempt and hate. "Cut me in half? Rip out my heart? Or rather, what's left of it, anyways."

"I wouldn't think about me, just yet," Inoue said evenly, a terrifying smile crossing her lips. Something shot past me, silent and aimed directly at Helyan. "It's Tatsuki I'd worry about." He turned, slow from surprise as Tatsuki leaped on him. In a flash, her sword was at his throat, his unloosed cero aimed her head.

In that suddenly, shocking moment, all hell broke loose.

_**AN SEE? THIS CHAPTER. SO MUCH TO PUT/EXPLAIN. Buuuuuuut, I really like it because we get to see some more of Helyan's character. AAAAAAAAAAAAAND THIS IS WONDERFUL PROMISE FOR VIOLENCE AND CHAOS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! WHOOO!**_

_**Nnn, review, tell me what you think. Did you all guess that this was going on? Are you surprised? Do you hate Helyan even more? XD Do tell!**_

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	22. Her Discordant Lullaby

_**AN Ohohoho, this chapter came out waaaaay later than I wanted. But stuff kept getting in the way, and then I had no time left for the computer and asdfjkl; I can't believe it's been a month. **_

_****__**I enjoyed writing this chapter, but ugh, I had to research so much for it! Release commands and names, techniques, and then I had to go back and check the story to make sure I don't contradict myself. Of course I found all sorts of things that I'd forgotten, like characters and important points and ugh. So very trying. But I have to wonder-do any of you guys actually check out the names I have in here? If not, please do! I put a lot of time into them, and they usually give insight into the character's personality.**_  


Instantly, the entire hall was alive with bodies and flashing swords. The cero Helyan had aimed at Tatsuki's head was misfired, launching into the ceiling and making rock and dust rain on our heads. She was trying to rip his head off, and, with a sick jolt, I realized that he was trying to bite off her hand. Inoue was suddenly battling the two arrancar called Gil and Gonzalo, fighting with an expertise I hadn't known she possessed. The rest of the espada had likewise joined the fray, Renji against Jacintha, Rukia against a boy I remembered to be called Emilio. I started forward, something lurching inside me to fight Helyan, but Eris stood in my way.

"Primera-sama," she said, smiling politely, bending her head in a mocking bow. I narrowed my eyes, every passing second feeling more and more discordant as different parts of me demanded different things. The blind monster wanted blood, anyone's blood, while that wonderful shred of humanity left in me was trying to think of a way to abstain from killing someone, and then there was the part that I guessed linked me to Hichigo. That bit was yelling at me to go rip out Helyan's spine, at any cost. All of the noise in my head made it hard to think, just when I needed to concentrate.

"This is how we started before, isn't it?"

"I do believe so," Eris conceded, and amidst the screams and the clangs of swords, a thought hit me.

"So...this was how you knew, Helyan told you that I was Primera." She laughed, black eyes cold.

"Yes, Primera-sama, that is it exactly. I suppose I made a bit of an oopsie, but what can I say? I get a little thoughtless when I want to kill someone."

"Well now, I guess that we're a little more alike than I previously thought," I sneered, and lunged. Eris dodged, stepping in and slamming an elbow in my back. I fell forward, rolled, and popped back up onto my feet.

"Eris Pan Asaea, what do you say to fighting for real? Last time didn't really quite do it for me."

"Oh, Primera-sama. I can't think of something I'd love _more._"

We jumped at each other, her sword springing to her hand as I kicked at her chest. She turned slightly, so that the blow didn't break her sternum, but still winded her. She staggered back, throwing up her sword in a quick block, but I knocked it aside, giving her a right hook in the same spot that I kicked her. Her eyes widened, blood spraying from her lips as her body curled around my fist, and then she was flying back, looking shocked. Eris landed hard, spitting and wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve. I let my eyes jump behind her to Renji, who was dodging a series of balas from Jacintha, and then stared at Eris.

She had pulled her hands together in a gesture that reminded me of Ulquiorra's Lanza del Relempagueo, but instead of being a sickly green, it was blood red. I couldn't help myself, a twisted laughed started bubbling up from my lips.

"What's so _funny?"_ Eris spat, drenched in that awful red light. "Do you have any _idea_ how powerful my de Carga la Sangre is? If you get hit with this, I swear _Primera-sama_, it'll make all of the blood in your body boil until you _explode._"

"Yeah?" I asked savagely, leering at her as someone was thrown over our heads. "Guess what, girly? I've faced something that was supposed to make me explode before, and I stopped it with my bare hand. Best bit is that it was from a guy that was a thousand times tougher than you."

Suddenly, I remembered Jacintha's warning from so long ago, when she had told me about the arrancar children.

_Kurosaki-sama, do not doubt them! A child arrancar will continue to fight even if all of its limbs are gone._

Well, it was time to test that theory.

"_Don't look down on me!"_ she screamed, leaping at me. She spun, primed to slam the thing into my neck, but as she was in the air, I grabbed Semidios and sliced off her arm. Eris landed, a half choked scream starting as she stared at the stump connected to her shoulder, scarlet soaking the white of her clothes and the floor. The rest of her arm lay on the floor, the red charge flickering into nothing, its only legacy a slightly singed patch on the floor.

"What, don't have high speed regeneration?" I taunted, and she glared at me, all restraint gone. She had acted this way before when we'd fought in training. The moment she was really hurt, she became blind by the desire to see me dead.

"You must enjoy destroying people's arms!" she yelled, and I shrugged.

"Well, sure, you could say that. But there's really a simpler explanation." I took a step, sonidoing out of her sight. Eris glanced around, her remaining arm pulling up as a guard. I scooped up the arm that was on the floor, figuring that this tactic had worked before. I faded back into sight, and threw the arm at her. Eris lurched out of the way, eyes wide in shock as she watched it fly past her. I took that one second of lapsed concentration to get behind her, and slammed the tip of Semidios into her chest. Eris gave a twisted gasp, trying to get air but receiving only blood. For the vaguest moment, I felt sick at the sound of the bones of her ribcage crunching, but then that dreaded excitement replaced it.

"The real reason I target the arms, Eris," I said softly, and she struggled to pull away Semidios, unable to get a hold with her fingers trembling and slick with blood. Delicately I held her wrist, and felt her stiffen with fear, "is that without them, you can't _fight._" I snapped her wrist and she tried to scream, but Semidios seemed to have hit her vocal chords, rendering her mute. I stepped away from her, casually sliding my sword out of her chest.

I flicked the blood off of it, and turned towards Helyan. He was the one I really wanted to kill. My body was jerked for a moment, something inside me freezing. A reproachful feeling rose inside me, reminding me that _I_ wouldn't be the one to kill Helyan. That was Hichigo's job. I snarled, knowing full well that what I had promised him, and if I tried to steal that privilege from him, he'd tear his way out. Even though he was partially sealed away in Semidios, he could affect my body perfectly fine, and he would use that against me if needs be.

_Does it really matter who kills what? _Semidios whispered in my hand, humming softly.

He enjoyed this, I could tell. This was different from all the other times I'd fought with him, when I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, when my aim wasn't to create corpse after corpse. Now...he was _singing,_ a raucous battle hymn, _demanding_ more opponents to fight against.

_You, the **other** one**, **it's all the same. No one cares about who makes the bodies, just how many there are at the end of the day. Fight, Kurosaki Ichigo! Fight, destroy your enemies, cut down all those in your way. _

I stepped over the crumpled remains of an arrancar, eyes set on Helyan. Tatsuki wasn't as strong as him, and it was obvious that she was tiring. His blows were lightning fast, but they were also heavy, making her buckle and slide back with each one. She bared her teeth, dropping into a roll that narrowly saved her from being sliced in half, but stayed in a crouch. The way she was favoring her left leg, I guessed that he'd injured it, and she probably had chosen strength over high speed regeneration.

"Ah, what's this? Is the great Novena, Arisawa Tatsuki _failing?_ Or is she just now figuring out a battle plan? No more taking my blows head on, that's a clever girl!" Helyan spoke so loudly that I couldn't miss it over the din. He looked deranged, eyes frantic and voice high with adrenaline. The grin on his mask was mirrored by his mouth, and I noticed that there were streaks of blood on his face that lead me to think that Tatsuki had managed to rake her fingernails across his face, though it seemed to have healed over.

"You know, your trash talk is really _pissing me off_." She worked her way to her feet, using her zanpakuto as a crutch. "I can handle megalomaniacs telling me how inferior I am, how they are going to crush me, heck, I've been dealing with apes like that for years, but _you,_" Tatsuki spat on the ground, shaking her head. She raised her sword, leveling it at his face. "Good _word!_ You just don't shut up! So, I figure that I have to kill you just to get some silence around here."

"_Arisawa-chan, _I thought that since it was so _obvious_ that I outclass you, there was no need for me to comment on it. Now I'm just making commentary to keep myself entertained."

Tatsuki growled and lunged at him, sword drawn back to slice his head off, but someone jumped between them. It was Eleri, her sword raised to block Tatsuki's. Tatsuki stared at her, confused for a moment, but then Eleri said something, so soft I didn't catch it, but I did read her lips, and saw the words 'let me'. Tatsuki staggered back, not sure what to do as Eleri whirled around, trying to slash Helyan's stomach open. He threw up a forearm, causing a thin trail of blood to slide down it. He grinned, shaking his head as his arm healed back together.

"What's this? We have yet another traitor in our midst. I would have thought I scared you back into sense after killing Vermalda."

Despite my battle fury, my head was clear enough to sonido over to Tatsuki, pick her up and take her to a relatively sheltered corner. I glanced over my shoulder, then checked her over.

"You alright?" I grunted, looking back up at Helyan and Eleri. I had guessed that she was attached to Vermalda, but I'd never thought that it'd be enough to make her do something as rash as turn on Helyan. Usually, she was the one to hold Vermalda back when she started mouthing off to one of us espada.

Or rather, ex-espada.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just-_ahsonofva-" _Tatsuki hissed, grabbing at her leg. I scowled, unsure as to what to do.

"You thought _wrong_," Eleri hissed, jerking away from him. "Everything you've done has just made me hate you _more._ Don't you realize that even though we're hollows, even though our hearts are gone, we can still _feel?_"

"And now you're going to avenge her?"

"Just _so._" Eleri grinned, and spun at Helyan. I had never really seen her fight, she'd always been more of an add on, an accessory for Vermalda, but the display she gave was almost breathtaking. Eleri moved at a speed that would be difficult to match in an unreleased state, and each time Helyan blocked her blow with his sword, the sound of thunder boomed across the hall. I stopped, focusing on her blade and realizing that somehow, she was making it _vibrate._ Feeling slightly awed, I turned my attention to Helyan, who was showing his teeth, but wasn't smiling. His sword had chips and gouges in it from where he'd blocked her, even though he had used the broad side.

Anger that was not my own sparked inside me, reigniting the blood lust that had been forgotten. I straightened, forgetting Tatsuki for a moment, and she gasped, wobbling and grabbing onto my arm. I hissed, looking down at her.

"You need help," I told her shortly, eyes wandering back to the fight.

"From _who?"_ she snarled, shaking her head. "Orihime can't fix me up right now, we don't have any medics on our side. Ichigo, you _can't_ tell me to sit this one out. I'm _finally_ apart of things, and you..."

I gave her a hard look, then nodded.

"Right. Fine. I can't say no, not when I've walked into a fight while I was half a corpse. Just...stay safe, alright?" Tatsuki nodded, smiling at me.

"Thanks, Ichigo."

I looked back at Eleri and Helyan's fight, and Semidios thrummed in my hand.

_Go and kill! _he said. _Go and slice them both apart if you have to, just kill __**something.**_

"You killed her!" Eleri screamed, showing far more emotion than I'd ever thought she'd contained. "You killed Vermalda, right in front of my eyes because she wanted things to go back to the way they were. Helyan, how could you _ever_ think that I would not try to overthrow you after that?"

"Oh ho, so _this_ is what a fraccion looks like after their master has been killed! I never knew that they cling on to the only thing they can think of; avenging their owner. How desperate."

"Loyalty!" she spat. "Loyalty to those you wish to always fight with! You, a coward like you would know _nothing_ about it!" Eleri propelled herself off of the ground into the air, spinning like a wheel as she arced back down on Helyan. Instead of blocking this time, however, he side stepped, smashing his fist into her arm. She yelled out as I heard the bones in her arm break, but remained upright. Her skin writhed as the bones wove back together, making her grimace.

"You can't kill me," Helyan sneered, kicking her in the stomach. "Eleri Fides, you and your high and mighty speeches, you _sicken me._" He kicked her in the side, making Eleri slide a few inches. "Even when you think so little of your own worth, you can take the time to lecture others! You hide your mask, ashamed at how little you could tear off, and yet you act so mighty, like you're above it all_._"

Eleri hissed, trying to scramble back, but Helyan grabbed her by the sleeve, which ripped. Beneath it was her arm, encased in what I guessed was part of her hollow skin, armor like and white. Eleri fumbled back, trying to stand.

"Everyone would look down on me if they knew," she spat, shaking her head. "The prejudices against arrancar who still have a large portion of their mask, they only heightened when you took control! You not only violated everything hollows stood for, you turned us on ourselves! There was a reason Aizen didn't dare have us cannibalize arrancar! He understood how useless we'd be if we couldn't even trust each other!"

"_Trust! _Oh, how things have changed! A hollow talking about _trust _and _loyalty._ Eleri Fides, you _deserve to die." _Helyan leveled his sword at her, and the tip glowed, a red cero charging ominously.

"Not so easy," she laughed, holding held her sword by both ends. "Gouge, Chillando Lechuza," she said calmly, snapping her sword in half.

There was a burst of reiatsu swallowing Eleri, and after a moment she reappeared, standing tall, encased in an armor similar to Grimmjow's, only hers was reminiscent of an owl, as apposed to a jaguar. Eleri raised a hand, and I noticed she only had three talons. Her mask had turned into a headdress covering her forehead like an owl's beak, and her eyes looked murderous.

"Helyan, I am going to kill you with my bare hands," she said, and Helyan laughed.

"Really Eleri? That sounds _wonderful._"

I lurched forward, wanting to get to Eleri before she actually made good on her promise. An urgency had swelled up in me, one that I was perfectly fine in sating.

In one moment, I was stepping forward, and in the next, I blinked and Jacintha was there, pointing her sword at me. Her eyes had narrowed, and she didn't look like the little girl that had found us in the ruins of Las Noches, but the person who had stopped Vermalda in her tracks.

"Kurosaki-sama," she said, and I scowled.

"Jacintha."

"Kurosaki-sama wants to kill Helyan-sama, yes?"

"That's right." I didn't comment on her strange behavior, focusing more on how she moved. A single twitch could give away her first attack. "You gonna stop me?"

"Sadly...we have to."

"Gotta put all those child soldiers to use," I said, and was gratified to see her stiffen. "I hope you noticed how I already disposed of one, way back there." I tilted me head to where Eris was laying on the ground, and her eyes slid over to her corpse.

"Yes...I noticed. She never could keep her head in a fight."

"Well, that's obvious. You said that she only came to train with me if she thought she couldn't kill me."

"How observant you suddenly are, Kurosaki-sama. Let's see if this lasts."

Jacintha leaped at me, set to swipe off my head, and I smiled.

_**AN This chapter also turned out a little more gruesome than I intended. Well, I'm not sure if you guys think it's gruesome, but when I look back I'm a little surprised at myself, like with Eleri and Ichigo's fight. I actually didn't mean to kill her until I started going, and then I was stuck in Ichigo's mentality AND THEN SHE NEEDED TO GO. XD**_

_**Welp, tell me what you all think! We've finally gotten in to the real battly-battle, which I'm excited about, because now I get to unleash techniques and monologues that I've had in my head for a while. **_

_**And, of course, happy holidays you guys. :)  
**_


	23. I Bid to Thee, Farewell

_**AN Whew, this chapter, I just get a buzz from working on it! I don't think a chapter's ever done this to me before XD But, as always, thank you so much for the reviews and the alerts and this, that and the other. This story probably wouldn't have been developed as much as it has without everyone commenting and giving their thoughts and support, and most certainly would be a wailing mess without my beta, EdDaeken. **_

_**Now, go on and enjoy the first chapter of the new year. :)  
**_

Lunging to the side, I turned as Jacintha sailed past. She turned as well, eyes narrowed as her pigtails whipped around. I leaped forward, snapping out a punch that she dodged, using her hand to guide my arm away from her. Without missing a beat, she swung her zanpakuto at me, and for a moment, I thought I was going to be cut in half, but at the last second I managed to pull Semidios up in a block. Jacintha snarled and pushed away, examining the situation.

Jacintha jumped at me again, and this time, I decided to cut things short with a quick cero. She saw what was happening and managed to get out of the way, falling on the ground. She rolled, making dust rise, and coughed, getting to her feet. As she got up, I noticed the edge of a five on her shoulder, something I hadn't been able to make out earlier. It felt like a kick in the teeth, one that sent rage through me at the thought of her being in on Helyan's elaborate scheme. Jacintha paused, looking a little quizzical.

"Kurosaki-sama didn't fire again."

"No, I didn't," I said, and she glared.

"Why not?"

* * *

Eleri and Helyan were still fighting, Eleri delivering blow after blow, while Helyan just blocked. His entire expression had changed, like he was finally focusing for the first time.

Helyan kicked at Eleri, which she dodged, leaping to the side. At the last second, however, her movement seemed to be slowed, like she was being tugged back on strings. Without hesitating, Helyan followed up with a quick upper cut, sword tip slashing through her stomach. Eleri lurched back, shock on her face.

"Surely you didn't think that just because you released, you wouldn't be affected by my zanpakuto? That somehow, the bonds would be cut? Fool, I say. Didn't Vermalda ever teach you how to _think?_"

Eleri roared, lunging at him, but Helyan countered her talons with his sword. He raised a hand, flicking his fingers at her, and suddenly, Eleri was being jerked back, like she had a collar around her neck. She gasped, slamming to a halt, and Helyan smiled, giving her a sharp sword thrust in the arm. Eleri howled, kicking him back and breaking his grip on his zanpakuto. She tore it out of her arm, breathing hard.

* * *

"You want me to kill you?" I asked, turning my attention back to Jacintha.

"I want to know why Kurosaki-sama acted differently!" She shifted to her left, and I decided to humor her, and moved to my right, so that we were moving in a circle. "In training, not a punch is pulled, an opportunity never wasted. When Kurosaki-sama sees a chance, he takes it, puts a charging cero to their head, tells them that he won." Her voice was deeper, harsher, more evidence of her having changed. This was definitely not the same girl I'd known, something was wrong with her.

"So why didn't I finish you off when you were on the ground?" Jacintha nodded, and I smirked. "I want to know what happened to Jacintha."

She stared at me for a moment, then gave me a smile, nasty, out of place on a little girl's face.

"So...so he _did _notice, after all," she murmured, like she was talking to someone else. Jacintha straightened, holding her sword straight up in front of her, cocking her head.

"Kurosaki-sama, allow me to show you fully. You might not _understand_ otherwise." She closed her eyes, and in a heartbeat I knew what she was doing. I tried to run over and stop her from saying the release command.

"Diverge, Títeres Torcido," she murmured, and was enveloped in smoke. A moment later, it had gone, leaving a woman in its wake. She vaguely looked like Jacintha, but her eyes were hard and she was tall, covered in a white body suit with parts of a skeleton attached to it. A frail, tattered white cape hung from her shoulders, looking like it had been shot through with knives. I stared, taking in the sneer and the rib cage and, most alarmingly, the mask. It had switched sides, and where before it had been a monstrous leer, it was now a bright and childish smile.

"J-Jacintha?" I asked, staring at her, the blood lust gone from sheer shock.

"Not quite, _Kurosaki-sama,_" she sneered. I snarled at her, all my rage coming back. It was kind of a stupid and arrogant thing, but the way she said my name just pissed me off. Before, Jacintha had always called me '-sama' out of respect, like she revered me or something, but now the honorific was mocking and hateful.

"You see, Sindervanch_-sama _decided that he didn't want a plain fraccion, one that had to get stronger the _normal_ way, so he made a few alterations to Jacintha before letting her become his fraccion. When he was done, he ended up with quite the rarity."

* * *

Helyan was back on his feet, looking deranged as he grabbed up his sword, charging at Eleri. He had let her drop to the ground, and she was trying to get back on her feet, but was struggling with the wounds he had dealt her.

Eleri had finally straightened, clutching at the wound on her arm. Helyan was raising his sword as he ran at her, eyes maniacal as he swung it down, aiming at Eleri's neck. It was about to strike home when she moved breathtakingly fast and clawed open the air.

* * *

A jagged rip had been opened in the air, giving me a short glimpse of an area that was mottled purple and red. For a horrifying second, it reminded me of that awful tunnel Urahara had let us go through to escape Karakura, and I was frozen at the memories of my mom's voice, memories I had tried so hard to suppress.

A sudden whistling noise erupted in the hall, the sound of wind blowing past the opening of a space with different air pressure. Jacintha's, or what used to be Jacintha's eyes were dragged over at the sound, just in time to see Eleri dive into the tear. Helyan's sword swung through nothing, making him bellow in rage as he whirled around, trying to reach Eleri in the portal she had made. Even as he was reaching for it, the portal was shrinking, so that when he finally reached it, it was gone.

I frowned, trying to get a handle on Jacintha. No, not Jacintha. She was someone else, a different personality. This other person had just come out to play.

We were still circling each other, though I wasn't sure where this was getting us. Semidios had become more insistent in my hand, probably feeling cheated at being yanked from the battle after a wonderful introduction like Eris.

_Stop wasting time! There is so much left for you to do!_

"Sindervanch-sama created, or awoke, me, another part of Jacintha's soul. It's similar to a shinigami and their zanpakuto, only I wasn't just a tool for her bidding. Sometimes I slip out when she's in control, and sometimes, when she releases and I'm in control, she ends up with the reigns."

I hissed slightly, noticing the connection between Jacintha and me. Thankfully, though, Hichigo didn't randomly pop up when I was in control.

"So, that's why...sometimes she didn't act like herself," I said, realizing just how often I'd seen this in action. "When we came back here after we had become arrancar...Jacintha said that 'she' told her we would change. Was that you?" She smirked at me, and then gave a gracious nod.

"Yes, Kurosaki-sama."

"I...I guessed!" I gasped in shock, just now remembering. "I asked Shinji about you - her - when we were being shown the rooms! I said that she looked like a vizard fighting their inner hollow, but it was reversed, the hollow fighting the inner shinigami!"

"You were close, but not quite. At times, Kurosaki-sama, you are astoundingly _astute."_ I glared at her, surprise fading. I was getting tired of this constant circling and the chit-chat. I wanted some real action, something I could really_...sink my teeth into._

"So, tell me, are you going to try and kill me out of loyalty to him, or because I piss you off?"

"Mm, neither. I personally hate Helyan, but he put Jacintha under lock and key with his resurreccion, which still affects me. Though, thankfully, not as much. It allows me to find some loopholes without being tortured, like you saw with Vermalda-san."

"What good is that for you...? Wait...so...that was you, back after training, about the child arrancar!"

"Quite right, Kurosaki-sama. I'm generally the one to deal with the..._scary_ things, like when Vermalda-san attacked Arisawa-san. She _is_ just a child, after all."

"Okay, so you helped me out a bit to spite Helyan," I said, a little impatiently. "We've still gotta fight each other, probably until one is dead. We gonna get to it, or just keep talking?"

She grinned, cocking her head.

"You first."

That was more like it.

I lunged at her, feinting to her left and then kicking at her right. She leaped back, gracefully moving into a broad sweep with her sword, almost slicing me in half as I followed her. Instead, the tip of her sword cut through part of my jacket, cleanly cutting it. The scent of burnt fabric reached my nose, and I glanced down, shocked. The area where she had cut showed no signs of being burned, but I could smell that acrid scent. I dodged another swipe, grimacing at the thought of being cut by a burning sword.

While we fought, everything seemed to blur, the noise of battle around us, the hall slowly becoming ruined, the cries of the injured, everything but the next move. Slash, feint, leap back, throw a bala as a distraction, it all became mindless until I clicked back in just as I was about to smash my fist into her sternum. It was covered by the bones on her suit, and when they connected, I could clearly hear both the air whooshing out of her, a couple of the bones in my fingers crack as well as the bones covering her chest splinter. I hissed in pain as she flew across the room, shaking my hand out as the bones knit back together.

Pushing away the pain, I jumped forward, watching her struggle to her feet. She was obviously winded, but she had managed to get up by sheer force of will. That was something impressive, I had to admit.

I leaped into the air, spinning and then sticking out my foot, catching her on the shoulder. She screamed in pain, buckling under me, but managing to snap her sword up. The blade of it sliced into my leg, making me yell in turn. I fell away from her, clutching my calf as it throbbed. Blood was pouring from the wound, and I could tell that whatever was up with her zanpakuto, it impeded my high speed regeneration. After a few moments, I felt the skin crawl back together, though this wasn't as reassuring as it might have been, as internal bleeding could still be a problem.

I clawed at the ground, trying not to writhe at the sensation of my muscles slowly, so agonizingly _slowly_ dragging themselves into one piece. After a moment, I brought myself in a crouch, breathing fast and glaring at what used to be Jacintha as she struggled against her own injuries. Her shoulder was most definitely broken, if not shattered, and I noticed that there was blood dripping from her lips. She wheezed, grinning at me in a feral way, as though she was taunting me.

I knelt, praying that my calf was good enough to support my weight. Waiting a moment, I forced myself up, staggering a little but remaining upright. I kicked her in the stomach, deaf to the yelp that came out of her.

"Did you ever figure me killing you into the equation?" I snarled, and she spat out blood, looking back up at me.

"Doesn't matter," she grunted, voice strained. "If I cut you enough...you won't get back up."

"Yes, well, I think that the same logic can be applied to you, and odds are, I'm going to be the one who manages to cut you more." She managed to pull her face into a snarl, and hissed "_Helada la Lluvia._"

A frozen wind started around her, making her hair and cape rustle. I stepped back as she pulled herself up, noticing that bits of white were forming in the air around her. Once they became about the size of flower petals, they rotated slightly, then hurled themselves at me.

I tried to dodge, but shock made me slow, allowing a few of them to cut into me. I yelled out in surprise as they hissed through my skin, burning like they were coals. I glanced down, and gasped when I saw_...ice crystals_ forming around the cuts.

"You probably thought that when I cut you, the wound burned, is that right?" she asked, and I glared at her, leveling Semidios at her head. "Now, now, don't be hasty. You haven't even heard what my techniques do, and that's important, right? The reason it _burned_ was that the blade was so cold." She raised her own sword, turning it for my inspection.

"The reason you were so slow to heal was that your leg was _freezing,_ right down to your high speed regeneration. Now, you might notice that all those places you let those little ice shard cut you just now are getting a little _stiff._"

With horror, I realized what she'd done. Each place I had been cut was freezing over, the center of a swathe of ice. They were all about twice hands breadths in diameter, but considering just how many places I'd been hit, that was about a forth of my body frozen.

"Doesn't matter," I snarled wildly, noticing how my right bicep was utterly numb, making Semidios shake in my hand. "I can still kill you."

"I bet you can," she said, smirking. I leaped forward, ignoring my new found handicap and trying to end things quick. I didn't care how much I wanted to torture her, if I let her live, she was going to freeze me over.

_If only it were Hitsugaiya fighting her,_ I thought as she jerked back, using the bones on her forearm as a guard. Jacintha over balanced, stumbling back into a roll. I took the opportunity to glance around, just in case Hitsugaiya was indeed around to fight her.

Inoue was still fighting Gil and Gonzalo, and all three of them had released. She looked like a giant version of her Shun Shun Rikka, though the collar of her dress looked like it had giant white petals springing from it. Her hair had also changed, shrinking to a pixie cut. Inoue was fighting with a calculated edge that I had really only seen in Ulquiorra, which was something that seriously unsettled me.

Renji wasn't far away, fighting with a person I recognized as Trau, gritting his teeth and trying to fend off the boy's bestial spiritual pressure. Hitsugaiya leaped behind him, preoccupied with fighting Emilio.

"_Helyan!"_

I whirled, seeing things going all too fast. Eleri had reappeared, slashing her way back out of the portal, behind Helyan, ready to slit his throat. Jacintha, ex-Jacintha, Jacintha's release, whatever, screamed, alerting him to the danger. He turned, catching her talons on his chest as apposed to his neck. The slashes healed as he reached forward, grabbing her arm and hurling her over his head. Eleri screamed as she tumbled in the air, presumably because he dislocated her uninjured arm.

Helyan primed a cero, aiming for her head, point blank, but Eleri managed to evade him yet again by clawing open a portal. The technique seemed to be draining her, as she was moving slower than before.

"Don't take your eyes off of me, Kurosaki-sama!" I turned again, just in time to bring Semidios up to block another swarm of ice crystals. I was slowing down too, though I couldn't tell if it was because of exhaustion or the ice creeping across my skin.

I grit my teeth, feeling irritated. Why couldn't I kill her? Every time I tried, something new came up to distract me.

"Why don't you just stay _down _this time?" I sprang at her, hand aimed at her throat, but she just smiled like she were saying '_But that's just too much effort, Kurosaki-sama.'_

Just as I was about to rip her throat out, she grabbed my arm, _pulling _me towards her. For a moment, I was confused as she propelled herself up and over me, using me as a boost. When I faced her again, it was to find her running towards Helyan. During our battle, Jacintha and I had wandered away from Helyan and Eleri, letting several battles get between us. The only real reason I could still hear their conversation was because they were shouting, totally caught up in themselves.

Cursing, I lunged after her, infuriated that she was trying to run away just as I was about to kill her. I dodged around Ishida and some arrancar I vaguely recognized, just as Eleri again fell out of her portal.

Helyan seemed to have heard her this time, turning and deflecting her sword in one movement. He smiled at her, a lunatic's smile, and sank a hand into her stomach. She gasped, choking on her own blood.

"_Jacintha!" _I screamed, swinging my zanpakuto at her, and by some strange luck, she turned, eyes wide, the little girl's personality slipping back through.

"Kurosaki-sama, what're you-?" she asked, and it sickened me to hear Jacintha's voice, the soft, frightened tone of a child coming out of her lips. And it was the confused, frightened eyes of a child that stared at me as Semidios cut halfway through her.

_What does it matter? _Semidios howled, enraged by my disgust and horror. _You wanted her dead, didn't you? She's halfway there now!_

"Looking back," Helyan started, cocking his head like he shoved his hand into his enemies' stomachs every day, "doesn't this seem like a silly little venture? I'd be seriously rethinking things if I were you, Eleri."

"And if you were me," she spat, the blood from her lips splashing on Helyan's face, "you would loathe Helyan Sindervanch for being the back stabbing low life he really is."

Helyan's smile strained, and he gave his arm a strange little jerk, making Eleri gasp and grab his arm.

"Brave words, considering I have your spine in my hand," he whispered, and I was just close enough to hear him. I shook my horror and yanked Semidios out of Jacintha, turning towards Helyan. He had caused this, all of this. He caused Jacintha to be...to be...

"They're not my best," Eleri told him, using the last ounces of her will to swing her sword down at him, just as I was thrusting at his side. In a blink, Jacintha was there, as if tugged on invisible strings. She smiled at me weakly as both swords sank into her, like she wished I hadn't seen that. Helyan didn't waste a second on her, crushing Eleri's spine and throwing her back. Eleri wasn't dead yet, but she only had a few moments left, that was obvious. She was trying to prop herself back up, but her legs weren't moving, other than indirect movements from her weak flailing. She gave a resigned smile, arms giving way. Eleri leveled a hand at Helyan, arm shaking.

"Sorry...Vermalda," she whispered, and let loose one last cero at Helyan.

"That's it? That's _it?_ Pathetic!" Helyan scoffed, jumping away from it like he was just humoring her.

I bent down in front of Jacintha, not sure what I expected to do. Aside from almost being hacked in two, she had a puncture wound from Eleri, probably ending around her heart, and then one from me, around the bottom of her lungs. My guess was that I had nicked one, leading to her wheeze. This was reminding me too much of Tatsuki, right before she change, and that scared me. I hated feeling so freakin' useless, even if I had caused the circumstance leading to me feeling like this.

"Jacintha? Is that still...you?"

"No, it's me," came the rough voice. Her words brought on a cough. "The kid's...listening."

"O-oh." I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. "I'm...I'm sorry, I guess."

"Thanks," she said, a pained laugh pulling her lips. Her hand fumbled for mine, and reluctantly, I let her take it.

"You...what's your name?"

"Silly Kurosaki-sama...don't have one. Never...got the chance." I closed my eyes, my feelings that this was an alternate version of Hichigo and I confirmed.

"R-right."

"Just...knock 'im dead, 'kay? That's all we...really...want."

"Will do," I said, smiling at her as she closed her eyes, grip on my hand going slack. I took a ragged breath, closing my eyes and giving Jacintha and her nameless counterpart a silent farewell. The horror of the whole situation was crashing over me, wave after wave as I thought of the untouched bit of sunshine that had been Jacintha as she helped us around Cuidad Muerta. This wasn't like the murder of Eris, who had been cold and harsh and hadn't even sounded like a child. Jacintha had always been young and innocent, smiling and waving at me whenever we met. She'd never been in control of how things had gone, and probably would never have chosen to go down such a dark path.

At the same time, I felt the satisfaction and glee radiating out of Semidios as the death he had so desired sank in, filling him with even more excitement. And even under that, there was a twisted joy that I knew was Hichigo. He was just happy that the annoying girl was out of the picture, and wanted to get going on killing Helyan.

I felt so sick and confused and horrified at that moment, with a child's blood dripping off of my sword. Everything inside me felt like it was jarring itself against my skin, screaming to get out, to be free of the conflicting desires.

_No,_ I mentally hissed, the thought strong enough to silence Semidios and Hichigo. _We'll make it through this. We'll kill Helyan, we may even get our old lives back, but just **give me back my head.**_

The silence that followed was slightly resentful, one because Hichigo hated being told what to do, and two, because 'getting our old lives back' meant that Semidios probably wouldn't exist anymore. I shoved that doubt away, holding my breath and straightening.

I opened my eyes, and began searching for Helyan.

_**AN I feel so sad at killing both Jacintha**_** and _Eleri. Even though we didn't see that much of her, I really liked Eleri, because she created such a great dynamic with Vermalda (who we also didn't see too much of, but that's the way it goes, I guess). But Jacintha! Ugh! She was always that cute little kid to me. I developed her a lot more in my head than what actually got into the chapters, to the point that she even had a cute little crush on Ichigo XD  
_**

**_What do you think about her nameless inner self? I rather like her, and I hope it wasn't too completely unexpected for you guys! Tell me what you think, as always.  
_**


	24. Crazy Jester, Mad King

_**AN This chapter is one that I've thought about a lot. It was fine tuned only recently, but from the very beginning, I was sure I wanted this and all of its concepts in here. I hope you'll be able to tell when you read it. :)  
**_

Helyan smiled at me, lip curled.

"So now I guess it's just us."

"Seems like it." I narrowed my eyes, grip on Semidios tightening.

"Oh, look at that," Helyan said, giving a mocking pout. "It looks like yet another hollow's committing the weakness of having feelings. But then, you were never really _were_ a normal..._ anything,_ were you?"

"Shut up," I said, and he laughed, waiting for me to get closer. He rested his zanpakuto over his shoulder, tapping casually like he had all the time in the world.

"Why? You're torn up over two useless people dying, I think that's rather scorn-worthy. Actually, I'm kind of glad Jacintha's gone. She never really knew how to work independently. If she didn't have someone to tell her what to do, she'd be utterly lost. I think it was really an act of mercy, choosing to not dodge those blows. Putting a child rest and all." I frowned, confused at first, then thought back to how Jacintha seemed to have been dragged between Helyan and Eleri's and my swords.

"That was...the bonds between you and her?" I asked, the idea sinking in.

"Just _so._ Dear Jacintha and I had a special contract, if you will, that will bring her between me and immediate danger. And since I just didn't manage to jump away in time..."

"You...killed her?" I suddenly remembered how Aizen had killed Harribel, only, this seemed worse. Aizen had attacked her because she had turned on him, but Helyan...he had caused Jacintha's death because he'd gotten..._bored_ with her.

Helyan smiled, shrugging, and I stared at him, disgust coursing through me.

"You _killed _her."

"Yes Kurosaki, we established this."

_Kill him,_ Semidios whispered, the words blurring into a continuous murmur. _Kill him, cut off his head and carve up his corpse..._

"She was your fraccion, she was _devoted_ to you, and you _**killed**__ her!_" I took another step, baring my teeth.

Helyan lifted his sword from his shoulder, raising it like he was in a fencing tournament. A delicate smile was playing around his lips, turned gruesome by the careless insanity in his eyes.

_Kill him.  
_

"She was failing. Call it collateral damage."

"Jacintha was a _child!"_

"And children die every day! Why is her death anything special?" Helyan hissed, all civility gone. The insanity was coming out, and I wasn't sure what he'd bring out in me in turn. "You think I'm some terrible creature for erasing a simple little test subject? I created her, plucked her soul from that seething chaos and _made _her better. She would be dead either way!"

"And everyone _else?_"

_Quit talking, just cut him up.  
_

"The thousands you used, the shinigami, the wholes, me, my friends, your own _subordinates,_ you tossed them away like chess pieces! They put their faith in you, and now they're _dead."_

"That's what people _do!" _he screamed, disgust contorting his face. "They're all dead in the first place, they can stand to die again! It doesn't matter, the fact is I have bested them!"

_Make him shut up, now!_

"They were nothing to begin with, Kurosaki Ichigo, nothing! Blinks of an eye, moments in time! And you know what? Days are composed of those _thousands_ of moments, all creating and building up something _better._ And I will be the best that they ever had the privilege to _dream_ about!"

_What does talking matter? Just fight him!_

I lunged at him, grabbing his sword and kicking his knee. It cracked, a boom of thunder and bone as he yelled out, flipping back. Helyan crashed into a wall, grinning through the pain and wiping his face. I slammed into him, pulling back Semidios and smashing the hilt into his shoulder. He grunted as I pressed the edge into his neck, snarling.

"Kurosaki, I'll be an entire _era _in this world, I will last _forever_._"_

"You're _deluded_," I spat, and Helyan's blood dragged itself down Semidios' blade.

"And you're going to die," he whispered, and I realized that there was a red glow coming form his hand. It happened in a second- I leaped back, swearing, Helyan loosing his cero and hitting my shoulder, and-

_Make him pay..._

my arm was gone-

_kill him...  
_

just-

_kill..._

like-

_him..._

that.

_**now!**_

It regrew, muscle wrapping around the new bone in another heartbeat, but I was reeling with pain. It was unlike anything, it was just _gone_.

_Go on! decimate him!_

"I missed your heart," Helyan mused, sighing slightly. "But at least the pain might slow you down."

I paused, thinking. Semidios' voice had changed, gaining a harsher edge.

_Go on, let me out! decimate him, decimate them all!_

The word choice, it seemed a little strange..._decimate._

I was forced to return to the battle as Helyan's sword shot toward my head and I ducked, shooting off a bala. He twisted, reaching out and grabbing what I saw to be a numerous who had been fighting Ishida. He had never seen Helyan coming, one moment he was glaring at Ishida, the next Helyan's hand had him by the back of the neck, swinging him around like a shield. The next, his head was gone, having taken the bala intended for Helyan.

"You _monster!"_ I screamed, and Helyan just laughed, dropping the corpse like it was trash. I jerked forward, but he sonidoed away, above me. I turned, and he stabbed my right shoulder, low enough to hit my lungs.

"Missed _again,_" he said in disbelief, like this was a great big game and Helyan just couldn't believe how poorly he was doing. I coughed, blood shooting from my lips. My right lung was collapsing and I would probably drown in my own blood if I didn't remove the sword soon. I couldn't heal if there was a hunk of metal in the way.

_Stop playing around, get to it, **decimate!**_

I shoved away from Helyan, forcibly removing his zanpakuto, coughing and retching as my lung healed.

There it was again, that word. _Decimate_. It seemed to ring in my head, the way Zangetsu's name had the first time I learned it. Could it actually be...?

"Kurosaki Ichigo, you protest my thoughts of grandeur, but is it because you hate to think that you are just like them, that you are..._less_?" Helyan had his arms spread wide, like he was preaching to a congregation. "Everyone who has died, they have done _nothing,_ the moments they have had utterly wasted. And yes, you are just the _same._ Everything you've done, it's been totally in vain! Have you kept anyone from dying, saved any souls, made a mark? No, not even _once."_

_"Shut up!" _I yelled, dragging a hand across my mouth, smearing it with blood.

_Decimate._ It was worth a shot. I wasn't doing too hot as it was, and I could handle looking stupid in front of a lunatic.

I raised my sword, bracing one arm with the other. Helyan narrowed his eyes, then snapped them open, snarling at me. He lunged, trying to stop me before I could get the words out.

"_Decimate, Carnicería del Semidiós!_"

Once again, I felt that sharp crack inside me, something snapping open and letting a loud, unbalanced scream of laughter out. My entire body shifted like it had out in the desert, only faster, so that by the time Helyan had reached me, it was a white clawed hand that grabbed his wrist instead of a normal tan one.

**"Hey. Nice to meet ya."**

Helyan stared, trying to wrench his arm away, but with a flick of the wrist, his hand had been broken. He hissed, flying back, re-examining the situation.

It was bizarre, watching and feeling my body move without willing it to. I was still there, not banished to my inner world, more sitting back and watching that I could feel as Hichigo took control.

**"Now, I better warn you- I'm nowhere near as **_**nice**_** as King, m'kay?" **Hichigo leered, and Helyan took a step back, realizing that there was something _severely_ wrong with me.

"Why would you even bother?" he asked, and Hichigo, taking this as an invitation, sprang at Helyan.

He was faster than me, snapping his sword out and trying to cut through Helyan's sword. A large chip joined the countless others Eleri had made, only, where hers had been relatively shallow, Hichigo's left a jagged gash in the metal. Helyan gasped, jerking back, and Hichigo reached forward, grabbing his sword arm. With a jerk, he tore it off, forming a scarlet arc in the air. Helyan screamed, falling back, trying to gain time to retreat, but Hichigo kept the onslaught going, tossing the arm away and catching Helyan's zanpakuto before it hit the ground. With a feral grin, he kicked Helyan in the chest, slamming him back into the wall. A beat later, Hichigo had Helyan pinned, both Semidios and Helyan's own sword smashed up against his neck, making him gag.

**"Why bother? Because it'll end way too fast if you don't have a heads up."**

Helyan spat at Hichigo, a mixture of blood and spit splashing on my cheek, our cheek. He just smiled, pulling a hand back to smash a sword hilt into Helyan's face, but then something seemed to slip around my neck. It felt like a thin cord, yanking us back, and Hichigo dropped Helyan's sword, clawing at my throat, trying to find whatever was there.

Helyan had fallen to the ground, but was now straightening, brushing himself off as Hichigo thrashed in midair, head whipping around, trying to see who was helping Helyan. But no one was there.

Casually, Helyan picked up his sword, turning his smile towards us.

"I have to admit, it's a little surprising. I know I used the same kind of chemicals on you as I did Jacintha, albeit a more _refined _set, but to think that you'd have the same side-effects! A brand new personality, just sitting by, waiting for Kurosaki Ichigo to release. No, that's not right..." Helyan mused, tilting his head and raising his hands like he was a conductor. He made a sudden jerk with his free hand, and we dropped lower, the thing holding us by the neck suddenly getting more slack as he stepped closer.

_What is this thing?_ I thought, frustrated at not being able to move my body, even though I'd probably be doing the exact same thing as Hichigo.

"It seems like...you are more developed than that. Maybe you _are_ just like Jacintha and her awful little counterpart, you pop in and out randomly. But it'd take a lot of control on Kurosaki's part to keep you in check." He tilted his head, eyes narrowed while he examined us.

**"What-what is this thing?"** Hichigo managed to get out, glaring at Helyan, who gave a considerate smile.

"Part of my zanpakuto's power. You didn't think that '_bonds'_ were just a mental or a social relation?"

The image of Eleri jerking back as she fought Helyan, apparently untouched by anything jumped into my head, and again Jacintha being dragged towards Helyan, a human shield, still seemingly without reason. Helyan's bonds were all over the place, a giant spider's web, which he could manipulate atwill.

As if hearing my thoughts, Helyan raised his sword, tip down. With careful precision, he began rotating his wrist ever so slightly, making his sword draw a circle in the air. I could feel something tighten on our ankles and wrists, drawing the limbs of Hichigo's and my body until we were spread eagle in the air. We began turning, slowly, slowly, so Helyan could get a good look at us.

"My my...I don't think I could have found a better specimen if I tried. Shame I have to kill you so soon. I hardly got to experiment on you."

**"Yeah?** **Such a **_**shame**_**," **Hichigo spat, snapping my hand open. A tiny black circle appeared above the palm, growing until it engulfed the entire hand. Helyan snarled, beginning to leap back, but in a burst of black light, a hole had been bored into his hand. He gasped, pulling the injury in, and we dropped, the bonds cut.

In the second for my feet to touch the ground and for Helyan to drop back a step, Hichigo was already moving, sword drawn, pelting at Helyan. He leaped, hair streaming as he slammed down a blow Helyan just barely managed to stop, then followed up with a slash, then a jab, a kick, each blow making Helyan wince and fall back. Hichigo kicked him in the jaw, making his head snap back, and swung his arm in what should have been a finishing blow, but Helyan stuck his sword out, gasping "_Prolong, __Mentira Payaso!"_

Hichigo staggered back, hissing as Helyan released. He paused as smoke exploded around him, and then snarled at Helyan.

Helyan didn't look all that different from before, except he was taller, legs having stretched unnaturally. His mask was gone, but he still wore the leer, and there were even dark slashes covering his lips to make it look like they'd been lashed together. Small dark green streaks appeared under his eyes, and his sword had turned into a white staff, topped with a large, clear jewel. Heylan was bare chested, with only jester's pants and a belt. A ram horn curled at the right side of his face, while the left one was merely a cracked stump. He raised his arms, and Hichigo leaped, not caring to waste any time.

**"You think this'll **_**matter?**_** Ha, I could kill you in just one** **blow!"** he screamed, swinging Semidios at Helyan, but he caught on his staff. The jewel sparked, and white lightning flashed at Hichigo, hitting him in the arm. He yelled, unable to help himself as black fire licked up the limb for a moment, then vanished. Hichigo glared at it, and a moment later I realized he was furiously trying to move it. What had Helyan just _done_ to him?

Hichigo snapped his eyes up, laughing as he leaned back, raising the sword in one hand.

**"This doesn't change anything!" **he yelled, and Helyan shrugged.

"I think it _does._ That lightning was a concentrated form of my 'bonds'. Anything it touches will do as I tell it to, so if I say '_break his hand'..." _With a jerk, Hichigo's left hand raised, grabbing his right and crushing it. He made a choked sound, and a series of pops and crunches later, it healed.

"And the best bit is that it _spreads!_ The longer this fight drags out, the more of your body I'll have under my control, till I could have you kneeling at my feet! Imagine it, the supposed _king_ of Hueco Mundo, bowing to the lowly _jester._" Helyan laughed, and he truly sounded insane. It didn't sound like his cackles from earlier, or Hichigo's shriek of mirth, nor like Inoue in her bad days, when we were all cracking up and she just let it all out as a laugh. No, it sounded like a person who had utterly and completely lost their mind, and they knew it and could barely stand it.

Hichigo was silent for a moment, then smiled.

**"So I guess I better just pull out my big guns, then, huh? Let it all out in one big** _**swoosh.**_**"**

"Might as well," Helyan said, tilting his head in a sideways nod that said he didn't think it was worth it. He raised his staff, and Hichigo raised his sword, a strange sort of salute before they finished things.

Helyan snapped a hand up, jerking Hichigo forward and whipping his staff around. The bottom held a wicked spike, and Hichigo couldn't prevent his stomach from crashing into it. Helyan whirled away as Hichigo shot a cero, neither pausing over the already healing wound. Hichigo managed to kick Helyan in the back, and he was sent flying, falling forward into a roll. Helyan spun, screaming "_Grab the sword!", _and Hichigo's bound arm swung over to his right one, trying to take the hilt of Semidios.

With a decisive move, Hichigo sliced the arm off at the elbow, eyes narrowing in pain.

"_That's not going to work!" _Helyan screamed, laughing distorting the words, and I saw it was true, as Hichigo's new arm stayed at his side, dead to him. I could tell that he was getting pissing at not having it, and that it would work against him whenever Helyan said so, but could do nothing about it. Nothing except kill Helyan.

Realization hit me like a truck, and I frantically wished I could speak to Hichigo in his head, like he could do for me. I searched around desperately, trying to think of a way to tell Hichigo what I had just found out. I could always steal back control of my body, but could I refine that to just my voice? Or would I steal control away from him just when he was about to kill Helyan and ruin everything?

_Only one way to find out, _I thought, watching Hichigo exchange blows with Helyan, breaking his arm, having a few of his own teeth knocked out, then slicing Helyan's achilles tendon. I concentrated, remembering how I had fought Hichigo before when I released. Only, then I actually had hand on the controls. Now I'd have to push my way through by sheer force of will.

"_Hichigo!"_ I managed to yell, and I felt his surprise and anger.

**"What're you doing?" **snarled Hichigo, falling back, hand jumping to his face in an almost ironic mirror of my final fight with Byakuya in the Soul Society. Helyan stared, then leaped at us, willing to take advantage of any lapse in concentration. Hichigo snapped his arm up, catching Helyan in the face with the hilt, the black chain scouring his cheek. He howled, falling back, clutching his face.

**"Get away, this is **_**mine!**_** You gave this to me, this one thing, you promised!" **He lashed out with Semidios, partially to keep Helyan back and partially out of anger at my interference.

"Wait! I just-"

**"_No!_ Get out!"**

"He has to talk!" I screamed, and Hichigo paused, confused. Helyan, realizing what I was saying, primed his staff, jewel flashing, but Hichigo shot a bala off from the tip of Semidios at him, making him leap away. "To control you, _he has to talk!"_

Hichigo froze, then started laughing, straightening up and staring at Helyan.

**"Oh **_**really,**_** King, is that **_**so?**_**" **He took a few steps, sword swinging as he headed towards Helyan. **"Is my little birdie right? Do you really have to **_**speak**_** for your little magic to work?" **Helyan gave a bitter smirk, tightening his grip on the staff.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

**"We can just find out the easy way!" **he yelled, sonidoing towards Helyan in a flash, circling behind him and sinking Semidios into one of his lungs, just like Helyan had done to me. He staggered and Hichigo took the opportunity to snake an arm around and grab his throat.

With one jerk, Hichigo ripped out Helyan's vocal chords, splashing a red rainbow across the clinically white floor. Hichigo yanked Semidios out of Helyan as he gasped and clawed at his neck, eyes wide with hate. Helyan's neck healed, leaving a large bloody stain on his neck and chest. Hichigo, ever the beserker, had opted to prolong the fight and cause Helyan extreme agony instead of ending it all there. I just prayed that this little stunt wouldn't come back to bite us later.

Helyan was furiously moving his mouth, forming words he couldn't quite make. They sounded like guttural screams, short and broken. His vocal chords were an organ, and no matter what special trick he had up his sleeve, whether it was high speed regeneration or something else, they weren't going back to normal.

**"Time to end the show," **Hichigo spat, jumping into the air. **"This is a little trick my partner hasn't discovered yet! I think you might enjoy it."**

He swung his arm, and a sweeping black crescent flew towards Helyan. It looked like Getsuga Tensho, only a keening noise accompanied it. Helyan tried to leap out of the way, but it caught him in the chest.

I expected there to be a lot of blood and bone and maybe some cackling on Hichigo's part, but it seemed like this technique was just a burst of light. It swept through Helyan, onto the ground, and then vanished without so much as a scratch to either him or the floor. Helyan froze, unsure whether it worked or not, but Hichigo just gave a triumphant smirk as a giant black gash opened in the air before us.

In a beat, both Helyan, Hichigo and I were swallowed by it, encased in darkness. Then something like a movie reel started up, and Hichigo said **"This technique, Recogimiento Oscuridad, makes the victim relive**** their worst, darkest moments, while letting me see them. The best bit is that the whole thing feeds off of **_**you.**_**"**

Helyan tilted his back as if laughing, like he were saying '_So?', _but a scene was forming in the blackness, pale dunes and a bright moon sharpening until I recognized the desert of Hueco Mundo. A person was kneeling on the ground, cursing and obviously wounded, but it wasn't Helyan. They didn't seem to be an arrancar at all, actually. The scene zoomed in until I realized that the person was actually _Aizen,_ probably right after I had seriously injured him in the Winter War. This wasn't the Aizen I was used to, the calm, calculating and condescending genius that had orchestrated seemingly everything for decades. No, this was more of a person trying to grab hold of the glory they once had, and failing. He was bleeding from a gash on his chest, and his long brown hair was splayed over his shoulder. He swore, dragging his hand over his mouth, creating a red smear.

Another person was coming up behind him, drawing their sword. Aizen heard them and turned, scrambling for his own zanpakuto.

"_Helyan_," he gasped, narrowing his eyes. Helyan smiled, tilting his head.

"Hello, _Aizen-sama._ How fairs the battle?"

"Don't mock me," Aizen hissed, fist clenching. "Why didn't you fight? You were supposed to help Ulquiorra defend Las Noches! _Why did they make it back out_?"

"Because you're not the only schemer in Hueco Mundo, Aizen. But officially, let's just say I never exactly saw you as the _winning side,_" Helyan said, shrugging. Aizen's eyes widened, and he tried to get to his feet as Helyan's smile stretched even wider, gaining proportions that weren't natural. He adjusted his grip on his sword, raising it and swinging it down through Aizen's neck.

Shock and understanding crashed through me as I watched Helyan stagger back, now stained with blood, eyes gaining a new, strange quality.

"_Aizen,_" he whispered, staring at the corpse, "I just killed _Aizen!_ The man who said he'd build empires, make the shinigami crumble under his boots, and he's dead!" A small laugh burbled up through his lips, growing louder and louder until he had his head back and was screaming with mirth. This memory, this moment, it was when Helyan really cracked. Maybe it was because of some rebound of a contract Aizen had the arrancar under, maybe it was from being drunk on power, and maybe it was just because he _had_ to be insane to put such twisted plans into action.

Seeing this, I wanted to both laugh and scream. All this time, from the very beginning, no, _before _that, Aizen had been dead. All of the time we'd wasted worrying over him, thinking that he might pop back up to haunt us had been totally _useless._

The scene faded into nothing, and the real Helyan writhed, making unnerving howls, unable to watch himself go mad. The darkness bled away into the unnatural whiteness of the hall, and Hichigo descended from his place in the air, swishing Semidios casually at his side. Helyan's bonds over my arm were spreading over through my chest and up my neck, and was starting to affect his breathing. Still, he acted like he had all the time in the world, setting foot in front of Helyan and attracting his gaze.

"_No," _he managed to cough out. "_I...wasn't supposed...to die! Not...not like_ _**this!**__" _Hichigo laughed, a harsh mocking sound, level with Helyan's broken words.

**"An** _**era,**_**" **he scoffed, tilting his head as he sneered down at the hollow who had planned for so much. **"You were supposed to be **_**so much,**_** weren't you? But in the end, it turned out that you had been riding on the coattails of someone else for so long that you **_**actually thought**_** that you were ****something special." **Hichigo kicked Helyan in the shoulder, flipping him onto his back. He was so drained by Hichigo's technique that he couldn't even try to sit up. **"In the end...you were less than a **_**blip.**_**" **

Helyan gasped, eyes terrified and shattered and thousand other things, and Hichigo smiled, tossing Semidios into the ground and grabbing his hair. With one final wrench, he snapped Helyan's neck, the crack a boom of thunder across the entire hall. He dropped Helyan, shaking his hand as if to get rid of whatever contaminants he'd picked up from touching the corpse, and took a step back.

The rest of the fighting had finished, mangled bodies scattered everywhere. Blood had stained the vast majority of the hall, and the floor and walls had been scarred and ripped out in places. Hichigo turned to look at those who were left, the espada, the ex-espada, my _friends,_ and they stared back, tired, a little beat up and slightly apprehensive.

Most of them had reverted back from their released forms, but Rukia still looked like an ancient goddess of ice and death, and Shinji still a giant Egyptian demon.

"Kurosaki-kun?" Inoue asked tentatively, and I could see the fear and recognition in her and Ishida's eyes as they recalled the horrendous events on the dome of Las Noches. For a moment, nothing happened, and I started to panic that Hichigo wouldn't give my body back, his threat from earlier ringing in my mind.

_**Kill your friends? Aw, that sounds like a pretty good idea! Why not go down the line, eh? Start with Orihime-chan, she's the weakest so she'll go fast, but I'm sure she's gonna look wild** **when she sees us.**_

"K-kurosaki-kun?" she asked again, holding her hands and limping back a step.

_**What are you waiting for, King? Go and take this stupid body before I change my** **mind.**_

I let out a sigh of relief as I heard the words in my head, and felt my body slide back into its proper form.

"Hey guys. How we doing?"

_**AN THIS. JUST...JUST ALL OF THIS. IT MAKES MY HEART LAUGH AND CRY AND GET PUMPED AND I JUST CAN'T. MY ABILITY TO CAN IS JUST GONE. POOF.**_

_**In all seriousness, though, I really can't believe I've managed to get this far. I mean...I published**_** Death is the Simplest Thing _a year and a half ago, and we all know how silly and kind of fragmented things were. But then I started growing as an author, I gained a wonderful beta, and, of course, I had everyone supporting me. So thank you for helping me keep going, even when I wanted to give up._  
**


	25. Another Way to Go

_**AN Oh wow. This...this is it, guys. This is really the last chapter. After this, there will be a epilogue, but after that...**_**Death is the Simplest Thing_ will be over. I can't tell you how excited and sad and..._amazed_ I am at having come this far! __And you guys! You've stuck with me all this time, some of you from the very beginning. Together, we've waded through a year and a half, angst, death, the OCs and the little oopsies and watched the gang struggle through some serious hell. I am so, so thankful for all of your kind words and for my beta, and agh, just thank you._**

**_This story truly could never have come as far as it has without all of your help._  
**

I looked around, running a hand over my face, realizing too late it still had wet blood on it.

"How...how is everybody?" I asked, trying to get a read on everything. Presumably, it had gone well, as all ten of us were alive, conscious and functional, and had managed the unbelievable task of slaughtering an entire army.

"Alright," Renji grunted. He was supporting Tatsuki, and his arm wrapped heavily in some impromptu bandages, but it was already stained a shocking red. "Arisawa here's got a busted leg, my arm's been hacked at and Hiyori can't talk because she was almost strangled."

"Not that she doesn't keep trying," Shinji grumbled, and she made a muffled growl. Both of them had bruises, and Shinji was favoring his left side, making me suspect he had at least one broken rib. "But everyone's fine, other than a few nicks and bruises."

Our eyes strayed towards the hall full of corpses, and after a pause, Shinji amended it to "Well…everyone that counts, anyways."

I couldn't help it, a laugh struggled past my lips, a real, honest laugh, not like the cackle my body had been subject to during Hichigo's possession. I don't know if it was caused by near hysteria, shock or actual amusement, but it caught until everyone was at least chuckling, and for that one, tired, blood soaked and desperate moment, we felt like normal people again. Then Shinji winced, grabbing at his side, Hiyori broke off coughing and Chad spat up some blood, reminding us that we weren't as normal as we thought.

"Look at that," Tatsuki managed as I hurried over, taking some of the weight off of Renji, who looked a little woozy from blood loss. "I'm finally a war hero like you guys."

"And how's it feel?" I asked, helping her over to a large chunk of rock that looked like it had been gouged out of the ceiling.

"Pretty crappy," she admitted, and I grinned, checking her leg. With one glance, it was pretty easy to tell that she'd damaged her ankle, probably spraining it. There was also a tear stretching across the back of her lower calf, but no blood, which was always a plus. I guessed Helyan had kicked her there, but as long as she could walk, I wasn't too bothered by it.

Glancing around, I saw the body of an arrancar, still released. Her lower half seemed to be made out of wood, twining around her torso, offering a perfect resource. I stepped over to her, cutting off a couple of the thinner branches, distantly aware of how I didn't care that I was technically mutilating a dead body. That just seemed to go with being heartless, I guess.

I hurried back to Tatsuki, making an impromptu splint for her ankle.

Everyone else had started tending to their injuries, Inoue quietly rejecting Chad's internal wound back to normal while Ishida pulled out a medi-kit that he'd constructed out of pilfered sickbay supplies.

"You did pretty great with Helyan," I told Tatsuki quietly, turning the hem of her pant leg into a bandage. She gave a bitter smile, shaking her head.

"Not good enough to beat him," she said, equally soft, and I pursed my lips. Her fists were shaking, and I could feel the rage and blood lust seeping into her reiatsu.

"Don't…don't glorify death, don't make killing sound so trivial," I told her, staring at her ankle. "Don't act like you want to kill people and it's fine if you do."

"Ichigo," she started, shock coloring her voice, probably thinking of how she had watched what she thought was me so viciously killing Helyan, and honestly, a part of me was thinking about that, too.

Hichigo had maimed and tortured Helyan right up to the last second, and I hadn't done _anything._ Granted, I had made a deal with him and knew how Hichigo would fight and then what it'd mean for Helyan, but I didn't _care. _There wasn't a jolt of disgust, a stir of resignation or abhorrence, even now when my head was clear and not fogged by battle. Just…acceptance, because Helyan had to die, one way or the other.

"Don't," I repeated, and my voice sounded hard enough to make her stop. I tightened the binding, making her wince, then sighed. I didn't want to say it, but I had to. For both our sakes.

"Tatsuki…I don't care what you are, human, hollow, whole, don't _ever_ make death look like it's no big deal. Seeing your friends die, your family…that's tough. It always hurts. And then, when you end up being the person holding another life in your hands…you should never have to destroy it. But if you do…_don't relish it,_ whatever you do. Don't wish for the feeling, for the power. If anything, just run."

"But you—"

"_What_, Tatsuki?" I snapped, and she blinked, eyes falling.

"Alright," she murmured, and I straightened, looking at her.

"Anything else?"

"Uhm, yeah, two things, actually. I can't really move my left arm beyond here—" she showed me, raising her arm halfway, then wincing and letting it drop. I bent down, examining her shoulder as she continued.

"And why didn't I do that instant healing-thing?" she demanded, sounding irritated. "You know how useful that would have been while I was fighting?"

_Yeah,_ I thought dryly, pressing on her shoulder blade.

_"Ouch!"_ she gasped, and I raised my eyebrows.

Across from us, Renji's arm had been rebound, but Rukia was now examining his side. Inoue was still bent over Chad, while Hiyori tried beating back Shinji and Ishida as they approached her with bandages and some sort of medicine.

"You know, maybe we should leave her that way. Then she can't talk," Shinji said, just loud enough for her to hear, and her eyes widened in anger, making her grab the medicine, pointing at her neck.

"Well," I said to Tatsuki, checking the hand Helyan had tried to bite off, "You just strained one of your shoulder muscles while fighting. Probably from swinging your sword too hard and wide—you might want to consider lessons on swordplay—and you can't just get high-speed regeneration."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's too late, first off. When you turned into an arrancar, you were probably thinking of becoming even more powerful, right?"

She paused, then gave a nod, a glimpse of shame appearing on her face. "But I don't—"

"Each hollow is faced with the choice of regeneration or power, and most hollows pick power. It's nothing to get all embarrassed about."

"Yeah, I guess, but…I'd just heard all those amazing stories about how you guys battled to save the whole freakin' world, and there I was, the one who missed out."

I gave a bitter laugh, examining the cuts on her palm. The teeth marks looked ragged under the hasty bandaging she'd given herself, and for a moment, I realized how nostalgic this all was. This reminded me so much of being back in my dad's clinic, helping him out with patients and making small talk while I took care of them. I missed being able to just hep people, to heal them and not being the one sending them to the hospital. Although, lately, the damage I'd been inflicting had been so severe they'd hardly had time to take a few breaths before they died.

I closed my eyes, trying to black out the faces of everyone I'd killed. At least, those I actually remembered.

"Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to," I said thickly, and she gritted her teeth as I re-wrapped her hand.

"But you guys—the battles you were in, the people you fought, that's amazing!"

"No, it's not."

Tatsuki was about to say something, but I shot her a look, shaking my head.

"This? This isn't what it's been like," I told her, and she frowned. "When you're fighting, you don't think about anything but winning, the next critical blow. But in the aftermath…it's awful. You weren't there when we were taken in by the Soul society, you didn't see us go mad. Being there, sitting still, not being able to move, to run away from the chaos we'd lived through, it ate us apart." I straightened, sitting beside her, watching the other fix themselves up. Around us, the bodies of the hollows were slowly starting to fall to dust, like Ulquiorra had so long ago.

"Do you really want to live through that, Tatsuki? Just wait, when you're relaxing, when you guard's down, it'll hit you like a truck. It might be easier for you, because you're not really a person, you don't have a heart to be broken, but it'll get you. One day."

"When you say it like that, you make me feel like some stupid kid who longs to go to war," she said quietly, and I smiled.

"That's what I thought, too. But then, when I actually _had _the power...I realized I never wanted to have that much again. That's why I picked high speed regeneration instead of strength, like the others."

"And the reason I picked strength was so I wouldn't have to lag behind anymore," she said, then slammed her fist on her leg, swearing loudly. I jumped, staring at her.

"What's wrong with me?" she demanded, and her voice went higher, telling me she was fighting tears. "This entire time, I've been obsessing over getting stronger, proving to all of you I wasn't just baggage, that I wasn't a waste of time and space!"

"Tatsuki, it's alright, we never-"

"No it's not!" she snapped, squeezing her eyes shut. "I just realized that...I've been hating all of you for being _better_, and looking down on Orihime for being worse! The rankings, those _stupid, stupid _rankings Helyan gave us...they were making me lose even more of myself than I thought!" Tatsuki's voice was tight with pain as I looked away, giving her this private moment, just in time to catch sight of Helyan dissolve into dust. I closed my eyes, feeling sick, and turned away, standing up.

"Hey, Ichigo!" Rukia snapped, and I looked around, frowning. "If you're done yakking it up over there, you can come help us!"

I made a face at her, put a hand on Tatsuki's shoulder and walked over.

"Whaddaya need me for?" I asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"Well gee, I don't know," she said. "A doctor's son, what good can he be after a big battle? Here, check Renji. There's something wrong with him, and I'm not sure what."

He was still on the ground, shirt off and looking rather irritated as I stepped closer. It looked liked part of his skin had been coated in a fine black ash, making me wonder where the fire had come from. I hadn't noticed any while fighting, though, admittedly, I wasn't exactly the most attentive person in the room.

"I'm _fine,_" he growled, and a thin trail of blood slipped past his lips.

"Oh yeah, obviously."

I bent over, examining his chest. A dark, ugly bruise had formed, and I felt suspicious about its connection to the blood he'd just spat up.

"What's with the blood?"

"I bit my cheek," he said flatly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, okay. Gonna give me any _other_ stupid lies?" I felt the bruise and Renji winced, cutting off any other comments he might have made. I sighed, feeling a habitual flutter of nerves.

"You've got some internal bleeding," I told him, looking around. "Thankfully, we have Inoue on hand, so it's not going to be a problem. How'd you get hit, anyways?"

"I was fighting that kid, Trau," he said, shrugging and then flinching again. "At first I'd thought he would be one of the small fry, you know, one to knock out before all the real fun begins, but then..."

"Then Renji got his butt kicked because he underestimated a kid," Rukia added helpfully, shooting him an irritated look. He stuck his tongue out at her, looking back at me.

"Yeah well, a few minutes in, he kicked me."

"_Kicked _you?"

"Yeah. With both feet. Only, he used that freakish spiritual pressure of his to create a shell around his feet." A new line of blood had appeared on his lips and I cleared my throat, not commenting. I had actually been the one who suggested that trick to Trau in the first place.

"Hey, Inoue!"

"Yes, Kurosaki-kun?" Inoue looked around. She had just finished mending Chad and was now brushing off her hands, looking satisfied.

"Could you help Renji out real quick? Then I think we can get going." She nodded, hurrying over and asking him what was wrong..

"What do you think we're going to do after this?" Ishida asked, the imprint of what looked like a hand on his cheek that looked a lot like Hiyori's handiwork.

"I don't know," I admitted, looking at the desert out of a jagged hole in the wall. "I kind of liked it here, with a a place to stay, a concrete thing to do every day..."

"I don't really want to go back to wandering the desert again," Rukia agreed, and I nodded, partially because that was monotonous, and partially because I was worried that I might mentally recess into that creature I'd been as a vast lordes.

"What _can, _we do?" Hiyroi demanded, voice still a little ragged. "Build a new hollow city? Tear down this one like they did with Las Noches?"

There were several loud protests, and I shrugged, looking around for an idea. I blinked, and suddenly recalled something we'd agreed on so long ago. How could I have forgotten, even with the impeding battle? It was so important, so key to everything.

_That's what life does, I guess, _I thought, starting to shake my head, a wry smile twisting my lips. _It makes you forget even the most important plans._

"Why don't we...try to get our bodies back?" I asked, and silence fell around us. Everyone else seemed to be feeling the same sense of shock I had, appalled at themselves for having lost sight of the one thing that really mattered.

"Can we?" Ishida asked, frowning. "Helyan seemed to have been the one to develop everything, from the plan to the serums, like Syazel Aporro Grantz. Now that he's dead, we can't really find out how to go back."

"Yeah, we can't exactly go to Mayuri," Hiyori rasped, and Shinji nodded, shrugging.

"I don't think he'd want to help us, anyways. Not without something being it in for him."

"And he'd just _love _it if I came crawling to him," she growled, folding her arms and looking even more displeased than usual. I glanced at the others, sure there was something the rest of us were missing.

"Ambala!" Inoue said unexpectedly, and everyone turned to look at her. Her eyes were bright and excited as she searched our faces, trying to find some sort of recognition.

"You know, _Ambala?_ Didn't you say she was the one who provided us those cloaks for going into Karakura Town, Ishida-kun?"

Ishida's eyes widened, the yellow pupil of his hollow eye shrinking slightly. Hope was flickering back into my chest, and I could feel the excitement pulsing through the very air around us.

"Where is she?" Renji asked, eyes lingering on the few remaining bodies in the hall. It seemed that they hadn't died yet, instead bleeding out their final minutes listening to us trying to come up with a plan.

"Did anyone fight her?" he asked, voice turning tight. Everyone looked at each other, panicked for a moment, shaking their heads. Rukia frowned and said "I don't think I even saw her here. Did any of you?"

Everyone shook their head again, and relief was just starting to wash back through us when Hitsugaiya said "So, that leaves us with only two options. Either she ran away..."

"Or she's still here," I finished, narrowing my eyes. What was the likelihood that Ambala would have split the moment Helyan had prepared for battle? He'd been waiting for us, that had been so obvious it was painful, but why would he have just let her go off and do her own thing, whatever it was? Admittedly, on the handful of occasions I had spoken with her, the woman hadn't seemed especially fond of violence, and was, if anything, peace loving. But there was still the chance that she was a peace loving coward...

"Let's go find out, shall we?" Shinji said sinisterly, and we all turned towards the doors.

As we walked towards the labs, I kept my guard up, in case we came across any left overs of Helyan's lackeys. Even though quite a few of them weren't as devoted as he had made out, and some had even downright hated him, there was still the chance that they hated us more. Authority figures seemed to get that in the hollow world.

The halls seemed almost as empty as the desert, though that didn't mean too much, as the entire palace felt abandoned. The hollows that had gone on rampage within the city were nowhere to be seen, though the victims down below were clearly visible through the windows, dragging themselves out of the street, bandaging their wounds and trying to clear up the destruction that had been caused.

We reached the labs, and heard the relatively reassuring sounds of someone moving around, footsteps, and few crashes and a stifled oath or two.

"Cant' they feel us?" Tatsuki asked, shuffling as we paused in front of the huge doors.

"No, the walls are made of sekkiseki, so it'd stop any amount of spiritual pressure," Rukia said softly, eyes growing hard the way they did whenever she remembered her confinement before her execution. Tatsuki looked at her, but it was obvious Rukia wasn't going to give any more of an explanation, so Ishida jumped in.

"Sekkiseki is a special type of mineral found in the Soul Society," he explained, turning to look back at the walls. "It has the special ability of blocking almost all spiritual pressure, as well as breaking it down."

"So...does that mean, if we stand by it long enough..."

"We'll become powerless," Renji said dispassionately, looking straight ahead. He was thinking of Rukia's sentencing, too. "It'll take a while for that to happen, though."

"But why make the walls of a lab out of sekkiseki?" Chad asked, and Hiyori shrugged, a self-satisfied smile curling her lips at the thought of knowing more than the rest of us.

"Depends on what they're doing in there. The most intense experiments are always conducted in buildings made out of sekkiseki back in the Soul Society. I just wanna know how they got all this rock here. It's only found in the Soul Society, after all."

"Maybe there's actually a whole mine, under our feet now," Shinji mused, earning a punch from Hiyori for having gotten the last word of her little lecture.

"What're the chances that there's something rigged to blow us sky high if we open that door?" Tatsuki asked, and I tilted my head, considering.

"Eh, it's pretty even, either way. Come on."

I pushed on one of the doors, grimacing at the sensation of having my spiritual pressure sucked out through my hand, albeit slowly, opening it quickly. The moment the grating of the door started, all the movement inside the place stopped, and, combined with the sekkiseki in the walls, I couldn't tell if the person had run away or was just hiding.

"Spread out," Toshiro ordered. "Don't let them slip away."

We fanned out, like he said, trying to keep our heads as we willingly walked back into a laboratory. I'd managed to forget just how much the things terrified me, between the conspiracy theories, training and private plots brewing, but now all of those wretched memories came rushing back. Like before, I wasn't the only one who was affected; Shinji was clenching his teeth, Chad moving stiffly, Inoue seeming to have broken out into a cold sweat, though she wasn't muttering to herself like last time.

I scowled, concentrating, fingernails digging into my palm as I searched the aisles, trying to find the person inside. Besides my and most of my companions inherent terror, our attention was vied for by just how _empty _the place was. Before, it had been bristling with artifacts and machinery, similar to a warehouse with a lab built in, but now, the shelves were mostly bare, machines stripped, the place dead. It was obvious it had been cleaned out in a hurry, papers littered the ground, broken bits of this and that laying in corners, hastily kicked aside so as not to hinder the person as they'd gone in and out.

Glancing around, I paused, catching sight of a table. I couldn't see much of it, but just hanging off the edge was what looked like the wrapped hilt of a zanpakuto. A slight rustle came from my right, and in one second, the place was alive with motion, and in the next, completely still.

Ambala had been crouching down in the aisle adjacent to me, waiting for the right moment to move. When I stopped, she had lunged, trying to reach her sword before Ishida, who had spotted her about the same time, or I could get her. She had managed to grab it and was just beginning to utter the release command when Ishida grabbed her from behind, hand squeezing her jaw tight enough to keep her from talking.

"Make another sound and I'll shatter your jaw," he hissed in her ear, and she nodded reluctantly.

"Is anyone else in here," I asked, hand clenched around Semidios, who was only too ready to be drenched in blood again. Ambala shook her head, red hair swishing. I called out to the others, and a few moments later we were all gathered together, glaring at the scientist.

"What're you doing in here?" Hiyori barked. "Why didn't you fight with Helyan? You decide cutting your losses and running away was the better option?"

Ambala's warm blue eyes widened, shocked and angry at the accusation. Ishida let go of her, backing off a step so he was still close enough to grab her if necessary.

"No!" she snapped, then grit her teeth. "Sindervanch-sama knew I was emptying out the laboratory. I...guessed that things might not end so well for him."

"And why's that?"

"I...just had the feeling. Sindervanch-sama hasn't...been acting as sensibly as he has in the past."

"Sensible? The guy was insane."

"Yes, well...you'd have to be, to want to rule this place," she said quietly, looking out the only window in the lab. It had something similar to glass over it, only it was tinted ever so slightly pink, suggesting that it masked reiatsu like the walls.

I narrowed my eyes, thinking fast. Ambala didn't sound like she had an overwhelming love for Helyan, and I had the sense that she wouldn't really mind helping us if we asked.

"Well, what's your move now?" Shinji asked, sitting on the desk beside her. "Your friends are gone, Helyan's dead, us eleven are probably the only substantial arrancar left in the city...what's there for you to do?"

"There's always more research," Ambala said mildly, and I exchanged a look with Ishida. He was thinking the same thing as me, I could tell.

"How about one last experiment? Wrap this whole episode up?" he asked, and she looked at him, eyes widening.

"You mean...go full circle?" she asked, and I nodded. Everyone seemed to stiffen behind us, but I ignored them, focusing on Ambala.

"Are you willing to try?" I asked, and she gave me a flat smile.

"There's not much of a choice," she pointed out, and I shrugged as if to say 'Well, you can't have everything.'

"How would you do it?" Renji demanded, sounding skeptical.

"It was hollow contamination that transformed you, so, that shou-"

"That was just a lie that Central 46 devised to cover themselves," Toshiro objected loudly, and I spared him a glare. "Don't try feeding us those lies again. Helyan told us that he turned us into hollows."

"Ah, but the truth was the base of the lie!" Ambala explained, sounding excited, or at least anxious. "Sindervanch-sama had my team develop the contaminants that changed you. It was a parasitic substance that latched onto your soul and then fed, slowly taking affect until you changed."

"And...how did this enter into us?" Tatsuki asked, brows furrowed.

"In your case, Novena-sama, it was a little different. The parasites entered through-"

"We heard," she said shortly, and Ambala went on.

"In the rest of your cases...they were injected."

"Injected?" Chad repeated, and she nodded. Shinji took a breath, and I looked at him.

"The captains told us," he said distantly, like a final piece was falling into place. "Ukitake and Shunsui. Right before we came to Hueco Mundo, they said they thought that while we were being tested..."

"Something might have been slipped into us," I breathed, and closed my eyes. "But for what? What was the point, changing us, making us think we were espada...everything?"

"He wanted to eat you, Kurosaki-sama," Ambala said simply. "He found that the strongest arrancar, if consumed..."

There was the barest trace of disgust under the cold facts, and in her eyes was the smallest apology of having to say it. I looked away, gritting my teeth, becoming angry all over at the thought of Helyan using us like that.

"How can we go back?" Inoue asked, voice hard, and Ambala's expression turned a little troubled.

"The parasitic particles would have to be burned out. I cannot say what the results will be, exactly, by now the contamination will have started to combine with your own and reproduce. Anything might happen."

"How would they be burned out," Hiyori demanded. "I'm not just gonna let you take a blow torch to me!"

"No, no, nothing as uncivil as that." she said almost affronted. "I also created a serum to return a soul to its previous form. For...my own curiosity."

"And Helyan just _let_ you do this?" Rukia asked skeptically. Ambala shifted, looking away.

"Sindervanch-sama...actually sent someone to destroy and burn down the labs before confronting you. He didn't want you to find my research should something unpredicted happen." She gave a tight smile, and I wondered what happened to whomever Helyan sent to clear up the mess. Had their body been carted off like the rest of her equipment?

"You just _happened _to create a serum that will reverse the effects? Sounds off to me."

"I...wanted to prove the law of souls wrong. I wanted to see...if there was hope."

Inoue appraised her, a slight frown on her face.

"And is there? Hope, I mean. Can higher level hollows remain themselves even if they sublimate?"

"No," she said ruefully. "I tried this on normal hollows and arrancar alike, but they passed directly into the rebirth cycle. In your case...you could be sublimated, you could go to rebirth, or...you could cease to exist."

"Are there any side effects," Chad asked, cocking his head. Personally, I wanted to know the likelihood of me being turned into cosmic dust from all of this, but no one really seem to be dwelling on that little aspect.

"None, Yatsutora-sama. I am merely purging your body of a contagion. Nothing more. If the process is successful, you would be a normal whole again."

There was a pause, until Hiyori said "Alright, let's get this over with. Who's going first?"

"I'll do it," I said, and Rukia grabbed my shoulder.

"_No,_ all sorts of things can go wrong. If something utterly unpredictable happens, we don't want you turning into some sort of monster and trying to kill us all."

"Yeah, but Ambala's pretty sure it's safe." Rukia didn't look convinced, and was just opening her mouth to continue protesting when Tatsuki spoke up.

"Let me go instead," she said suddenly. "Come on, we all know that in the grand scheme of things, I don't really matter. I'm just some girl who got dragged into things." I glared at her, unable to believe that she'd really suggest something like this. But her words of feeling like baggage came back to me, and I stayed silent.

"Tatsuki, _no," _Rukia snapped, staring at her like she was insane. "Don't you _dare_ call yourself unimportant! Don't just _sacrifice_ yourself for no reason! What about your life in Karakura?"

"What about it? I'm _dead,_ Rukia! They probably think I've either run away, or I've been kidnapped and killed." She shook her head, looking a little disgusted and hurt. "There...there wasn't even a _body_, or anything to give them a clue. I just vanished, and I can't just reappear."

"The Soul Society would have sorted out the tougher details," Hitsugaiya said quietly. "They would have sent someone down to alter any memories, if needed. In that case, the people you knew, friends and family, they probably think you moved. Most extreme, you never existed." I remembered how that had been the case for when Rukia had been taken in, and felt slightly sick. Tatsuki worked her jaw, getting around the fact that she may have been wiped completely off the face of the earth, then nodded.

"There. That just proves my point. I've got _nothing_ to go back to. I'm not like you guys," she said with a tight laugh. "They won't care about me in the Soul Society. I'm not some..._war_ _hero._ I'm just..."

"A great friend," I said softly, and she looked at me, as though she was trying to hold back tears.

"If this doesn't work out, then I'll be the great friend that saved all of your lives," she joked, shrugging.

"Tatsuki, if you _really_ think we're going to just..._let_ you possibly kill yourself, you're nuts."

"You can't change my mind! I am going to be taking that serum first and seeing what it does to all of us, or we're going to walk right back out that door and never come back." She pointed the door for emphasis, and I turned to look at the others, shaking my head. We couldn't pass up an opportunity like this, and I knew Tatsuki. She wasn't going to give in to any sort of persuasion known to man once she set her mind on something.

"We can always knock you unconscious," Inoue said softly, and Tatsuki turned a disbelieving stare on her.

"_What?_ You'd be willing to knock me out and take it _yourself_? How's that any different from letting me do it, huh? We can't take it all at once, and we have to be practical about this. There is _no way_ that after all that we've done, the crap we've taken and the people we've killed and _everything_, that we're going to just toss it away by potentially burning away into nothing, without someone to test it first."

I glared at her, angry that she had such a good point. Someone needed to take it, but if someone volunteered, we all protested. We really just needed to have someone take it and be done with the whole thing.

* * *

After some half-hearted protests, Ambala was prepping the serum for her, and Tatsuki was trying to keep her breath steady. Turned out, it was a little tough to do when she was possibly about to commit suicide.

"It's a little exciting, you know?" she said, trying to give Ichigo a smile. He would understand this, _surely. _All the stupid, crazy, noble things he'd done, there was just no way he couldn't. No one but Orihime smiled back, and even then it was a tight, bitter little thing.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I bet."

Ambala gave Tatsuki a comforting smile, then quietly injected the needle. She took a deep breath, feeling the ice seep through her blood, becoming colder and colder, making her grit her teeth. Tatsuki closed her eyes as she hunched over the injection site, the coldness spreading through her arm and her chest and then her neck. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but didn't look up.

"Tatsuki?" Orihime asked, voice high and intense as she said her first words since Tatsuki had volunteered. "Tatsuki, are you alright? What's happening?"

"It..._burns,_" she hissed, brow furrowing as the ice turned to pain. A few seconds later, she was panting, on her knees and trying not to whimper. This wasn't what Tatsuki had expected, she was literally _burning,_ from the inside out. Desperately, she looked up at her friends, the tense, worried faces that she had known so well as a human. Despite the scary masks hiding part of their faces, their eyes, their mouths, their cheeks, she felt comfort in them. Then a wave of nausea washed over her, and all she could think about was the blood pounding in her ears and how much she hurt and how she might be sick.

A new wave of pain spiked from the injection site and she gasped, sure that someone had pressed coals against her skin. She managed to look down, pulling her shaky fingers back, expecting blood, irritated skin, bone, _something,_ but it looked the same as it had a few seconds ago; slightly tanned, muscled, the sleeve ripped away with a few spatters of blood from the fight still on her skin.

Tatsuki rocked back, then fell forward, pressing her head on the blessedly cool floor. This was a nice coldness, not something that would eat her from the inside.

"Do me next," Ichigo said quickly, and Tatsuki snapped her head up, trying to give him her best glare, even though she could hardly focus her eyes. He had his arm sticking out towards Ambala, who looked worried at how she was reacting, while Ichigo looked serious. He still had a large amount of dried blood stretching from his mouth to his chest, smeary from where he'd hastily wiped it away. When she'd met back up with him in the city, he had looked like that, and she remembered wondering how it had gotten there.

"_No,_" she rasped, and he stared down at her, face contorting, struggling with the emotions inside him.

"Tatsuki, please, just let me-"

_"No!_ Ichigo...who knows how...how long it's going...to take!" Her words were a garbled cough from the back of her throat, but the way he grit his teeth and looked violently away told her that he had understood.

"_We all have to do it sometime!_" he yelled, still not looking at her, and her vision swam. Tatsuki clamped a hand to her head, clenching her fingers on the edge of her mask, like that was the only anchor to reality left.

Someone stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder, and he turned back to glare at them, and Tatsuki heard a vague mumble as they conferred, but then it was just a senseless roaring, going on and on and _on,_ until she thought she might scream. Maybe she was, she had no idea of what was going on anymore, couldn't hear anyone speaking, couldn't feel the floor she was practically laying on, couldn't see anything but a wall of red and yellow, the fire that was burning her alive.

Occasionally, it felt like ice was spiking through her, but then the feeling would turn molten until she couldn't _stand it._ This wasn't like getting caught by a sword, or by some hollow technique, this was an all-consuming fire that ate her whole.

Time and space lost meaning as Tatsuki tried fighting it, but in the end, it won. She tried screaming, to chase it away, to reveal some of it, to warn off her friends, tell them that _this wasn't worth it,_ but the pain cut off all words, choking her until she couldn't breathe.

At last, Ambala's words managed to surface in the churning mass of pain called her mind. _You could be sublimated, you could go to rebirth, or...you could cease to exist._

_Cease to exist._

Tatsuki had been wrong,so deliriously, mind-numbingly _wrong_ about this. It didn't matter who she was, what she'd done, whether or not she had anything to go back to. This whole brave, self-less and _stupid_ venture, it would be the final chapter of what had been a pretty crappy adventure. She had thought it would all be glamorous and exciting. Tough, dangerous, painful, yes, that was life either way, but _this_...it was more than she had bargained for. It would turn her into a little cinder, and then that tiny little spark would go out, and she'd just be ashes, floating away from the inferno.

_I'm losing it, I'm going to...cease to exist, _she thought. The pain would burn her out, she just wouldn't be able to keep fighting. Honestly, that didn't sound so bad. Oblivion meant there'd be no more pain, no more awful, taunting _pain._

And then...she ceased to exist.


	26. Tying Ends

_**AN WHAT. THIS. THIS IS THE END. I...I hardly even know what to say, except thank you a thousand times over. I've spent so much time on this story, and I've talked about it so much with the my beta and everything, and I can hardly express how I feel. My denial and numbness has melted away and I'm starting to get choked up as I write it. (oh gosh it sounds like I'm in the grieving process or something)**_

_**So, this is my final thank you. There will be no author's note at the bottom because I don't want to clutter up the end, so I hope you get the all of my feelings through this one. It's...really been great, I've loved writing this story and reading your comments and everything, and I hope you continue to support me in my next story. :)  
**_

Masafumi's zanpakuto clinked slightly as he gripped the hilt, his eyes turned to the sky. The tension in the air was so thick he felt he could reach out and grab it, but he forced himself to stand still and wait.

"Taicho," Hisagi said behind him, "you should sit down. It's been a long night."

Masafumi turned to look at his vice-captain, who was sitting down himself, zanpakuto resting on his lap. Hisagi had blood splattered on his cheek and the bandage that he'd hastily tied earlier looked scruffy and worn, but he didn't comment. Masafumi had a feeling that he looked little better.

He closed his eyes, trying to sort through everything.

For the past couple of months, the veterans of the Winter War had been preparing for when things finally broke apart. They had been researching the suspicious new officers and captains, as well as gathering a trusted group of shinigami, promising Academy students and even talented souls from the Rukongai to fight the impostors, should the need arise. They had also discarded their original idea of begging Kurosaki's band to help them purge the Gotei, deciding it was too risky to have ruthless and unpredictable hollows clean up the Soul Society at the cost of being blamed for everything. Instead, they had decided simply use shinigami to do the job, but circulate the rumor that the rogues had come to exact revenge in the dead of night.

After that, it was just listening and waiting. The waiting just happened to be shorter than they imagined.

Masafumi had been discussing re-designing the newspaper with Hisagi for what seemed like hours, trying to agree on what had to be promoted, altered and cut from the paper altogether. Then Hibari, their third seat, had come in, chattering about having Masafumi review her report and Hisagi having to add the finishing touches on the latest draft of the newspaper. The two men exchanged a dark look, aware that Hibari was trying to keep them from talking alone for too long. Hisagi reluctantly got up and left, shutting the door behind him, and Masafumi took Hibari's report.

He scanned it disinterestedly, and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the smallest flicker where Hibari was standing. He turned to look at her, catching full sight of her _change._ Her shape seemed to blur around the edges, and suddenly she wasn't the round faced, dark haired shinigami she'd been seconds ago. She was wearing the same clothes, but her hair was a dull green and a mask framed half of her face, forming a headband that merged into half a mandible.

His eyes widened, and he stopped himself from gasping by biting his cheek. This...this couldn't be possible, she was an _arrancar!_ Masafumi wondered if he was hallucinating, trying to figure out what was happening. Could she have been a hollow the entire time, or had the real Hibari been replaced by this impostor? And if she'd been a hollow the entire time, what had she been disguising herself with, and why was it suddenly failing?

"You should rephrase this section here," he said, glancing back at her report and pointing to a random part of the text.

"Oh?" she asked, leaning in to get a better look, and he stiffened, hating being so close to her. He watched her, noticing angrily that her eyes wandered from the papers he held in his hand to the ones on his desk.

"Yes. Fix that and everything should be fine."

Was it just Hibari that was a hollow, or were the other suspicious shinigami hollows as well? And what about the Central members that had suggested her? Did they know that she was a hollow, were _they_ hollows themselves, or had this all been a gross misunderstanding?

_I don't know which would be_ worse, he thought desperately, trying to think what to do next. _This all being true or me just imagining it._

"Thanks, taicho!" she said brightly, reaching out to take the report from him. He caught sight of the gaping hole in her palm, and he knew that he could never have imagined that. She noticed him looking and glanced at her hand, eyebrows furrowing as she put it together.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," she said, not quite able to hide the tension in her voice. He nodded and smiled and she relaxed, probably thinking that he hadn't seen through her disguise.

Hibari walked to the door and he stood up, deciding to take a sudden, dangerous leap of faith. He reached for the zanpakuto tied to his waist, eyes fixed on her back.

"Oh, one more thing, Hibari..." Masafumi added, and she turned her head to look at him.

He swung his zanpakuto, slashing through her in one deadly arc. She gasped, letting out a strangled screech, glaring at him with enough fury and shock to knock him over. Blood splattered the walls as she dropped, dead. He had sliced her heart, and there was no way she was coming back from that. Masafumi uttered a quick seal to keep the blood from spreading on the floor. He stared at her body, breath held, heart pounding and furiously _praying_ that he hadn't acted rashly for nothing. Either he was a delusional murderer or a hero, and at the moment, he really couldn't tell which.

Then, _finally,_ Hibari's body slowly fell to ash. He released his breath, both relieved and horrified that she was actually a hollow.

He jerked at the sudden sound of running feet, and the door was yanked open, revealing Hisagi. He froze, staring at the zanpakuto held at his face, gaze switching to Masafumi as he sheathed his blade.

"Taicho, what happened? I heard someone scream, it sounded like Hi-" He froze, finally seeing the bloody arc on the floor. His horrified eyes raised to Masafumi's face as he started to turn, but the captain grabbed him and pulled him back, slamming the door shut.

"Hisagi, hold on, listen to me! This isn't what it looks like!" he hissed, whirling the vice-captain around to face him.

"Where's Hibari?" Hisagi asked slowly, voice tight as he gave his captain the only chance to prove he wasn't the traitor he seemed to be. Masafumi swallowed, feeling for Hisagi in how awful it must be. He'd already gone through seeing Kaname be a traitor, Hisagi didn't need to do it again with him.

"She's dead." Masafumi quickly explained what had happened, and after a moment Hisagi nodded, eyes grim but trusting.

"Alright. Alright. What do we do now?"

He let out a sigh of relief that he was believed and opened the door again, peeking out to make sure no one had chased after Hisagi. When he saw it was clear, he exited, locking the door after Hisagi.

"Send a hell butterfly to the others, tell them what happened, but don't tell anything to anyone who's newer to the Squads than five years."

"_Five_ years?" Hisagi sputtered, staring at him. He nodded, walking quickly.

"We don't know who's a hollow. I only heard about Hibari two years ago, when she joined the Squad. But do you remember anything about her from before then? Anything about her Academy days, or when she joined the Gotei? No, not unless it came from her mouth. If you can think of _anyone_ else like that, leave them out. If in doubt, just tell the old captains and officers, the ones who were around during the Winter War."

He nodded and started composing the message while Masafumi walked on.

"Ah, taicho! What are you going to be doing in the mean time?"

"I'm going to be taking a little walk," he said darkly, hand drifting towards his sword hilt.

That had been the beginning of a long, dark and bloody night.

Throughout all of the Squads, there had been genocide as the shinigami purged their ranks. It wasn't an all out battle, like Masafumi thought, at least not until the end. It was all assassination work; quiet, awful and quick. They would investigate the people under suspicion, and then execute them as one by one, they changed into arrancar.

They weren't all hollows, though. Some of the shinigami that had been favored or advanced because of the hollows were just shinigami, making Masafumi think that they had been used to make the whole facade believable or, even worse, were being deceived so they wouldn't fight before being turned into hollows.

Masafumi and Hisagi weren't alone in their gruesome task. The shinigami that they had selected were quickly informed of the situation and joined them, albeit it mournfully, as some of them had formed friendships with the hollows. There wasn't much help or communication exchanged between the Squads, however. Occasionally there'd be a short message via hell butterfly, requesting assistance or explaining something various shinigami had learned. No matter which Squad they were in, it seemed that there was always one thing in common about the hollows-they weren't disguised by individual means. A single person, someone Masafumi had heard a few hollows call 'Eris',was responsible, and for some reason, their work was lapsing. He didn't know where they were or whether or not they were alive, but Masafumi was thankful that they had failed.

Masafumi sighed, sagging slightly, feeling the past few hours catch up with him. Now that the hollows had been dealt with, another disturbance appeared. Hardly an hour earlier, he'd felt the ground shake, and known that it hadn't just been an earthquake. A frenzy seemed to have started up over at the far end of the Seireitei, and a hell butterfly had been dispatched to inform the captains that the remainder of Squad 10 and 13 were dealing with it. He didn't sit down, but he went over to stand by Hisagi, leaning against a post.

"How difficult do you think the wholes are going to be to control once news gets out?" Hisagi asked, and Masafumi shrugged, eyes wandering to the horizon.

"Thankfully we've been gathering people to help us for a while now, so we'll be able to have them fill some of the positions left open."

"Are we going take some of the higher Academy students? No one's ready to take the exams yet, they've got at least a month left."

"That wasn't a problem for you, Hisagi," Masafumi reminded him, and the vice-captain sighed, nodding. They sat quietly for a while, and Masafumi wondered what Squads 10 and 13 were doing. Had they found the cause for the disturbance, was it a person, or something utterly innocent?

A messenger appeared before them, head bowed.

"A message from Ukitake-taicho and Kyoraku-taicho!"

"Go on..."

"An hour ago, there was a disturbance in the western section of the Seireitei, accompanied by an earthquake. We believe this is due to certain persons breaking in from the Rukongai."

"Do you think it's more arrancar?" Hisagi asked, sitting up straighter. "Aizen knew there was a way to break past the barrier, maybe he passed on some secrets to them before disappearing."

"It's possible," Masafumi said, narrowing his eyes. He had the vaguest of suspicions forming, and he wasn't quite sure if he liked it.

The messenger continued, and Masafumi noticed just how exhausted the man sounded. Long night for everyone, then. "If this is the case, then please do not engage the following people!"

They listened to the list, frowns appearing on both men's faces. Masafumi nodded, subconsciously clenching his hand around his hilt.

"Noted. Have you told Yamamoto-soutaicho?"

"Not yet. I was on my way."

"Alright. Dismissed."

"Are you worried?" Hisagi asked as the messenger vanished, and he straightened.

"Not sure yet. This still could turn either way. But for some reason," he paused, a slightly bitter smile stretching his face, "I think I'm a little excited to see them."

* * *

Byakuya waited in the side room, listening to the intense panic coming from the members of Central 46. He'd heard reports of the Squads and Kido Corp being clean, which meant the only thing left was Central 46.

He had called an emergency meeting, causing the forty-six members to convene, deciding that he would listen to their conversations and decide who was guilty. Then he, along with two other officers, would administer proper justice.

_Interesting..._ he thought, quietly observing them through a crack in the door. _There aren't forty-six people in there._

There were about ten people missing, which was causing even more of an uproar. He watched them all closely, wondering just how many were hollows.

"...what's going on? There are hollows everywhere-"

"I heard that the shinigami were inexplicably _turning_ into hollows-"

"-which is utterly ridiculous, something _has_ to be causing it."

"But what if they were just hollow _pretending_ to be shinigami?"

"That's _ridiculous! _Don't go saying things that will cause more panic!" Byakuya noticed that there was an interesting amount of worry on multiple people's faces at this comment, though it didn't seem to all be over the thought of hollows having infiltrated the Gotei.

"Who even _called_ this meeting? I say we just get on with it instead of running around like headless chickens."

"No! We can't go on until the other members are here," another member said, frowning. "Where _are_ they? They should have responded right away..."

"Maybe they were attacked by the hollows. That can be the only reason-"

"But they have guards, they are thoroughly protected! That _can't_ be the case. We should send someone to go get them."

"No need!" another member said quickly, a stooped man with pale eyes. He glanced over at a couple other members, who all looked equally worried over this suggestion. "Let's just...finish things here. I'm sure we don't have much time left, anyways."

Byakuya narrowed his eyes as the three nodded among themselves, casually moving away from the group. They walked closer to where he and the two other shinigami hiding into the side-room, speaking quietly. He turned to look at them, and saw one of them hold up the recording devise they'd brought along. He nodded at Byakuya, who turned back to the door.

"What do you think's going on? Why are they changing back?"

"I don't know!" one of them hissed, a tall woman with her hair pulled into a severe bun"Pan Asaea said that her illusions would not fail, and that's been true for _three years!_ Why would it stop now?"

"Do you think she was killed?"

"_No!_" an elder with a thick mustache hissed, glancing over at the rest of the group. Several of them were watching their conversation, eyes holding a worry that was entirely different from the lost, sheep-like quality their peers had. "There are only a handful of people who could do that, and there's no way Helyan-sama wold have let them get away! And even then, he wouldn't have just _let_ us _die..._"

"Who says he wouldn't?" the woman demanded, eyes wide with desperate anger. "His entire plan was to turn Kurosaki's band into arrancar and then _eat _them! What good would we be after that? I think we should simply cut our losses, kill these members and leave."

"Do you think we could get away with that?" the stoop-shouldered man asked, hands shaking slightly. "Would we have time, or would we make it out? The shinigami are on high alert-"

"We'll do it. If we have to kill some of our comrades, then we'll do it. The smaller the group, the easier to escape. Let's just clean up and get out."

There was a slight gasp from a shinigami behind Byakuya, and he shot them a glare to keep the quiet. The woman who had gasped had her hand clamped over her mouth, eyes horrified at the member's words. He clenched his teeth, wanting to take action instantly, but he need just a little more proof before executing them all.

"What are you doing over there?" someone called to the trio in front of them, and they all turned in unison.

"Just figuring out what to do!" the woman answered, and there was an angry mutter that arose from the small crowd.

"Well, what do _you_ think we should do, since you're _obviously_ in charge," someone spat, and the woman hissed.

"_Silence!_ There are hollows eating people alive out there, and we may not win!"

Gasps and shouts arose at her words, and a few people ever jerked forward, enraged.

"_How can you say that?_"

"We are meant to be the pillars of the Soul Society, we can't just give up!"

"But it's true!" the mustached elder said, raising his hands. "In fact...one of the beasts has managed to even get in here!"

Everyone started and even a few people screamed as they wheeled around, trying to find the hollow. Their eyes fell on an elder whose form was shifting slightly, and then they were a towering arrancar, limbs thin like needles. The arrancar laughed, body shaking as he shrieked _"You're never going to get __out of here!_" and speared the nearest person on its talons.

Chaos instantly reigned, people running around a screaming, others laughing and enjoying the carnage. And yet, there was a small few who were enraged, glaring and yelling.

"Oh, they're _hollows! _They're _hollows!_"

"_What do you mean by this? _He was one of _us!"_

"_Let me out! _The hollows are in _here!_"

Byakuya didn't even bother to turn and look at the rest of his team, he merely pushed open the doors and walked out. The three members whirled to stare at him, stumbling back and shouting above the noise.

"What're you doing-this is a Central only meet-"

_"Scatter,_" Byakuya murmured, "_Senbonzakura."_

It was over in a matter of minutes. Despite more and more members losing their guises, Byakuya managed to kill all of them in seconds. Once the elders realized that he was there, they stopped running, either faint from relief or paralyzed by fear. The other two shinigami that accompanied him busied themselves with herding the elders to a safer corner, trying to keep them from breaking down into further hysterics.

Finally, there were only twelve members left. Byakuya knew for a fact that they were legitimately shinigami, as an elder from the Kuchiki house vouched for all of them, on top of the fact he knew them personally.

"I can't believe it..." the female shinigami said, shaking her head. "There were so _many_ hollows pretending to be part of Central...That Helyan guy they were talking about certainly knew what he was doing when he sent them in."

"But that explains a lot, too," said the other member of Byakuya's team, a brunette man with a stocky stature. "I mean, why Kurosaki and his friends were persecuted."

Byakuya glanced at them and they froze, realizing that they had come perilously close to mentioning his sister.

"Yes...it certainly does," he murmured. Byakuya paused then stepped towards the man, pausing by his side. "Watch them," he said. "If they start to change, slit their throats."

"Yes, Kuchiki-taicho," he said grimly, and Byakuya turned towards the doors. His job was done, he had judged Central and dealt with the monsters that had ruined his sister's life. He didn't need to linger there a moment longer.

A boy ran up, panting slightly. He was a member of the Kuchiki Clan and was just a few months away from graduating from the Academy. Byakuya looked at him and the boy bowed his head.

"Kuchiki-taicho, a message from the Kuchiki household!"

He frowned, not expecting this. He had figured that this boy, Shinnosuke, had come with a request for relief in another area of the Seireitei, but this obviously wasn't the case. What could be so important as to send a messenger to find him? Had the people who had broken in attacked the Kuchiki's? Or had someone found out about his actions and protested?

That would be _such_ a trial to deal with. Byakuya had been very careful in how he'd dealt with Central. Not only had he gone to Yamamoto about being allowed to take actions towards them, he also conversed with the other three noble houses on their opinion about it. Only one had protested, as they had more elders in Central than the rest, despite the fact that Byakuya had explained that most of them had probably been killed and replaced by hollows already. They had even gone to the lengths of accusing Byakuya of simply wanting to remove their house's members from Central and make the Kuchiki's even more powerful, though, in Byakuya's opinion, that was an especially stupid move, as he would have to kill members of his own family as well to clear himself on such accusations, which would defeat the point. Thankfully, the Shihoin Clan had finally stepped forward to openly support him once his actions were made known, which silenced the other families for good.

Byakuya glanced back at the two shinigami still tending to the remaining members of Central. He nodded at Shinnosuke and moved outside. He wasn't sure if the boy had seen the carnage inside yet, and didn't feel like having to explain himself just yet.

"What is the message?" he asked.

"There are some...guests for you, at the northern estate," he puffed, straightening a little.

"_Guests?_" he asked, and the boy nodded. Byakuya noticed that he eyes had wandered past him to the doors of the meeting room, which had been left open. Shinnosuke paled but didn't comment as he snapped his gaze back to Byakuya.

"Ah, yes. For the moment, they have been permitted to wait until you come and see them. It's best if you hurry!"

Byakuya considered this for a moment. People weren't just _let_ into one of the Kuchiki estates, not unless there was a serious emergency and a large amount of people had been displaced from their houses. That could quite easily have been the case, but then why hadn't Shinnosuke just said that? There was something strange going on, that was for sure.

"The northern estate?" he asked, and Shinnosuke nodded. Byakuya nodded, murmuring "I'm on my way. Go help them inside."

The northern estate was _very_ close to the site where someone had broken in was. Byakuya decided it would be best to be ready for anything when he got there.

* * *

Yamamoto sat at his desk, trying to get through the forms he had piled up on his desk. With all of the commotion of the night previous, from serious injuries to damages to an astonishing amount of vacancies in the barracks, came paperwork that he ultimately dealt with. This was the aspect he hated about being the head of the shinigami; the mind numbing amount of paperwork that went with fighting hollows and cleaning up after the supernatural messes that happened in both this world and the World of the Living.

He'd just finished a stack involving damages to the sickbay when the sound of a terse conversation came through his door. Yamamoto paused as the doors then opened, allowing a messenger to come through.

"Yamamoto-soutaicho!" he said, panting slightly. "An urgent message from Ukitake-taicho and Kyoraku-taicho!"

"Continue," Yamamoto said, listening to the man's news of further disruption in the western section of the Seireitei, probably due to more invaders. The messenger listed off the names of likely suspects and Yamamoto stiffened, standing up.

"Is there any confirmation of this?" he asked, eyes narrowed. "Or is it still a theory?"

"Still a theory, soutaicho. I was ordered to return when we were sure." Yamamoto paused, considering his options. Ukitake and Kyoraku were more than capable, plus they had all of their subordinates to aid them. Soi Fon was also nearby, close enough to help if it came down to it...

"Very well," Yamamoto said, slowly lowering himself back into his seat. "If this theory is confirmed, send word _immediately._"

"Yes, soutaicho, sir!" The messenger disappeared and Yamamoto interlaced his fingers, feeling tense. He had never expected to get in a situation such as this, not even during the War. Aizen had managed to get in, true, but despite his power, he was only _one_ person. Now a group might just be parading around, unchecked. Had their security become so lax since the War had ended?

He stiffened as he felt the barest trace of a spiritual pressure, not strong enough to be recognized, but he still a thrill of alarm at feeling it. Yamamoto was just standing back up when he heard someone start yelling outside. He paused, then reached for his zanpakuto.

"_Hey! _You-you can't-get away from there!"

"Calm down, calm down, I don't have time for this, just step aside-"

"Alert, requesting immediate backup for Squad 1. We have-"

"You know, you're the _only person_ _here_ who's acting like an idiot!"

Yamamoto wasn't quite sure what to make of this situation. It could be another arrancar in disguise, trying to act their way past his doors. But if that was true, they'd probably have cut down the person outside once they started shouting. And how would they have made it all the way here without having been attacked by any _number_ of people. Was it...?

"-an emergency, I repeat, _emergency-"_

"Hold on," the newcomer grunted, and there was a dull thud and the yelling abruptly stopped. "Finally. Just stay there a few seconds, alright?"

Zanpakuto in hand, Yamamoto stood up, ready for just about anything that walked through those doors. After a moment they opened, and a tall red-headed youth strode in, looking shockingly normal in shinigami robes.

"Hey Yama-ji," Ichigo Kurosaki said, smirking at him and resting a hand on his desk. "We've gotta talk."

Yamamoto hardly took time to blink, he was pointing his zanpakuto at Kurosaki's head.

"_Whoa!_" he yelled, jumping back with his hands raised. "Easy, easy! I'm unarmed, I left my zanpakuto so you wouldn't think I was trying to attack you!"

The chief commander considered it for a moment, but didn't lower his sword.

"I told you, I just wanna talk, so will you put that thing away?"

"How did you get in here?" Yamamoto asked shortly. Ichigo paused, as if considering whether or not to give a smart answer, then said "We had a friend hook us up with a garganta."

"A _garganta?_ You have hollow allies?" Yamamoto's sword jumped a little higher into the air, and Ichigo looked like he seriously regretted telling the truth.

"Yeah, well no, it's complicated, alright? We got this arrancar scientist to help us out, get us back here. She's actually the one who changed us back."

"That is impossible," he said flatly. "There is no way for a hollow to turn back into a normal soul. Do you realize, Kurosaki Ichigo, that the entire Soul Society spent the night _exterminating_ at least half of the barracks because they were hollows, disguised as shinigami?"

"...Yeah, I actually knew that. While we were in Hueco Mundo - me and the other eight that were changed into hollows, plus a girl from Karakura named Tatsuki - we stumbled over this whole insidious plot." Curiosity was practically tearing Yamamoto apart, but he wasn't sure he wanted to give in and let this boy have the upper hand.

"I'll tell you if you just put that zanpakuto away," Ichigo said, as if knowing what was going through Yamamoto's head. "Besides, you could fry me with kido if I try anything."

Deciding he hand a point, Yamamoto lowered his zanpakuto, but did not sheathe it.

"So, basically, this guy named Helyan Sindervanch has been playing you guys all along. Since Aizen died, anyways. He's been disguising and sending in hollows to infiltrate the Gotei, as well as Central 46. A few days ago, though, we kind of had a fall out. He tried to kill all of us, we killed them...that sort of thing." There was a grim look to the boy's eyes that had not been there before this whole episode began. A hardness that probably came with the instinctual kill or be killed mentality of a hollow.

"Helyan was in charge of everything; the order to bring us in, the testing, us changing into hollows. He played us all like a fiddle, right til the end."

"Until he was killed."

"Yeah, until I killed him." Yamamoto wasn't even surprised by this statement. Ichigo always seemed to be the one to take on the leaders.

"And you simply changed back once he was dead?"

"Not a chance. We had to go find that scientist lady and force some answers out of her. She told us that we hadn't turned into hollows the conventional way, but through some parasitic chemicals the hollows were giving us. So...we had to burn it out." Ichigo laughed, eyes bitter. "That was some real hell, let me tell ya. I thought that Tatsuki wasn't gonna make it, and then when _I_ took it..." He trailed off, looking away as if recounting further was too much to bear.

"Where are the rest of them?" Yamamoto asked, searching frantically for any other traces of the rogues' spiritual pressure. "They're all hiding out, waiting to see if we're going to have to go and make a run for it. The few people we've actually let see us have believed us, but it all comes down to you, Yama-ji."

"And what are you expecting from me?"

"Look. Conspiracy aside, you've all screwed us over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that you were just following Central's orders," Ichigo said, raising a hand a looking harried even as Yamamoto opened his mouth, "but you all knew it was wrong enough to help us out while we were being tested. I personally would have thought that a coup would have been nice that time of year, but hey. I'm just the potentially dangerous kid who may have hollow tendencies and is supposed to be dead. Either way, the fact is, you've got ten lives to take care of. Ten powerful lives that really would like to get their old friendly status back."

"You're all dead," Yamamoto said flatly, unflinchingly meeting the boy's gaze. "Everyone you know knows this, and a good portion of them watched you be buried. It was even on the human news. You and your friends asphyxiated in a cabin when you were on holiday."

"_Well you've got to fix that!_" he yelled, slamming a fist down on the desk. "I don't care about me, I'm fine with just being a shinigami in the Soul Society, but I caused every single one of my friends to be dragged through hell and back! They have died, they have killed, have been maimed, seen children act like monsters, lost their reason again and again and again and they have _eaten people alive._ And now that we're one the very _verge_ of getting back to normal, you're saying that their _one chance_ is ruined by them being _dead?_ Half of them are already shinigami! All I need for you to do is to get them some gigais and alter everyone's memories!"

Yamamoto grit his teeth. A part of him could understand how Kurosaki felt, and the rest of him was thinking how easily it could be for him and his friends to go ballistic and murder everyone. Yamamoto didn't believe that any of them could still have hollow contamination and turn back into demons, but the mindset... Those ten people had been living as hollows for over a year, committing who knew what atrocious acts. He had said it himself, they had killed and eaten people alive, as well as surviving the merciless world of the hollows, which he could only _imagine_ the details of.

Was it really worth it to allow them to go back into their old lives? What would they do if he didn't let them? They had learned new tricks, that was evident by Kurosaki even managing to get into his office, and there was the chance that they would turn on the Soul Society if they didn't get what they wanted...but then they never would, unless Urahara conceded in letting mass murderers live peacefully in Karakura Town...

If he did help them, then Yamamoto would be paying back the debt of allowing them to be tortured and go through the horrors of Hueco Mundo. Maybe they might even owe the Soul Society for the aide he'd given them, he could never tell with Kurosaki and his friends.

Yamamoto let out a sigh and looked back at Ichigo. He smiled, looking more like the bright stubborn youth he'd been a couple years ago, instead of a man hardened by war.

"Well, you really don't have much of a choice," Ichigo said after a moment. "You _do_ owe us, after all."

"Alright," Yamamoto sighed, resignation heavy in his voice, "I'll help."


End file.
